[FILLER POST – Due to a file naming SNAFU back when I was a guest riffer, this riff was never posted. I never pointed it out because you guys honestly didn’t miss much. More recently, I figured I’d save it in the drafts for a rainy, riffless day. A day just like today, as it happens. This was written at the same time as the other Love & Bullets riffs that started going up back in 2016 or 2017 sometime, and I’ve not heavily edited it, so there are a few references that might not make sense anymore, but there they are. – Bats]
Title: Love & Bullets
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)
Hello, once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags-
GoodJamags: So am I!
– and this moron and I are back for more of Love & Bullets. Last time, a Sue beat up some thugs in an alley. That’s it. Now we get to Nightwing babbling about how amazing the Sue is, so let’s dive in!
As much as I hate to acknowledge this, I know this little hellcat will willingly lay her life down in order to save mine.
GoodJamags: Why do you hate to acknowledge it?
Hello, and welcome back to the Library! I’m your host, SC, and today, I’ve got a treat for you guys!
Remember how I tried to find a oneshot and ended up giving myself another full riff? Yeah, well, I’ve been trying to make up for that SNAFU, so I was trolling around FF.Net for a oneshot to give you guys, and I figured, “Hmm, what topics do I know that I haven’t covered yet?”
The Avengers popped out at me first, because I haven’t done anything about that yet. But then it narrowed down to Thor, because I’m not too sure that ANY fics about Thor have been riffed here yet, and that seems absurd for how hard the movie theaters exploded when Thor and The Avengers both came on the big screen.
So, here we are: Come away with me, by Potix, a oneshot fic based off a writing prompt, not quite at eight hundred words, rated K+ despite the fact that Thor is about as far from K+ as you could be. It’s a fic that I can’t, for the life of me, read the title of without thinking of this song:
Now, back to that thing about writing prompts: I don’t have anything against them, per se. Actually, they’re pretty fun. But, they’re basically an open gate for some pretty bad responses. And sometimes, the actual PROMPT is part of the issue.
What do I mean?
Well, let me just skip over this pointless disclaimer with the standard, “I’m no good at English, be gentle” excuse we’ve all seen before and show you:
Greetings patrons, and welcome back to another installment of Mass Effect: Green Lantern’s Light. Now before we begin, I’d like to announce a slight change. You see, I’ve noticed over time that some of the snarkers at the Library have had other people to help them while they review fics; Kasumi Goto was in one of Herr Wozzeck’s reviews of Parallel Realities, TacoMagic has his Sith velociraptor Crunchy, Sports Shades recently starred in SC’s review of Devil May Cry 4: Remake, and erttheking usually has a bunch of his OC’s with him. While GhostCat often chimes in with information pertaining to DC that I’m not privy to (for which I’m grateful), I think it’d be fun to have someone actually in the room to banter with, so I decided to blatantly steal take inspiration from the others at the Library and call in a friend. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the main character of my own personal “canon” playthrough of the Mass Effect trilogy. He is an N7 graduate of the Interplanetary Combatives Academy in Rio, hero of the Skyllian Blitz, Council Spectre, and savior of the galaxy. Everybody please welcome Lt. Commander Joshua Shepard.
(*Shepard walks in wearing black and red armor, his face covered by a Recon Hood with glowing red eyes*)
Tyrannus: Nice of you to come in, Shepard. I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen you since the end of Mass Effect 3.
Shepard: Yeah, I was recovering on an Alliance medical frigate for a couple of months after the Crucible went off. Let me say from experience that being shot by a Reaper, getting caught in an explosion, and being stuck under a pile of rubble on the Citadel for three days waiting for rescue isn’t something you can shrug off easily.
Tyrannus: I’d imagine not. Anyway, you know what we’re doing, right?
Shepard: I’m supposed to be helping you review some fanfiction involving Green Lanterns. Don’t worry, I read your last three parts, so I know where we’re at.
Tyrannus: Let’s not waste any time, then.
Hello patrons, and welcome to yet another installment of Mass Effect: Green Lantern’s Light. Yes, I know, I haven’t posted an update to this review in forever, and I apologize for being lazy. But, seeing as this is a new year, I figured it would be a good time to get back to work on some previously unfinished projects, including this review. So without further ado, let’s continue.
When we last left off, Atrocitus escaped confinement on Ysmault due to laughably inept security, Shepard met the Guardians of the Universe and began his Green Lantern training under Kilowog, and we met a few soon-to-be Red Lanterns, one of whom is a FUCKING CAT!!! Before anyone asks, yes I am still pissed off about that. I WANTED A KROGAN RED LANTERN, DAMN IT!!!
Hello patrons, and welcome back to another installment of Mass Effect: Green Lantern’s Light. First off, sorry it took so long for me to do a second chapter review; I had to do some stuff to get ready for college this semester and for a while my laptop didn’t have a working charger, so I couldn’t do anything on it without risking letting the battery die. Now that both of those things are dealt with, however, we can continue.
In our first installment we learned that the Reapers are seeking to bring about Blackest Night, Abin Sur died from standing in front of a Collector ship’s main gun like a deer caught in a pair of headlights, the Normandy was destroyed in a regurgitation of Mass Effect 2’s prologue, and Hal-Jordan Stupard was whisked away to Oa to become a Green Lantern. What literary fail awaits us today? Let’s dig in and find out! Read the rest of this entry »
[Sorry the post is running late this morning, WordPress was being sulky. – Ghostie]
Hello readers of the Library, I’m Lord Tyrannus. Most of you probably don’t know who I am, but I’m the author of a Mass Effect/Star Wars crossover called Synergy in Chaos on Fanfiction.net. Unfortunately I’m lazy, so it doesn’t get updated very often, but that’s neither here nor there. I’ve enjoyed several of the Library’s reviews of awful fics for some time, and figured it would be fun to write a guest review of my own. Of course, I had to think of a fic that was worthy of being snarked at first. Then it hit me: what better snark material than a fic from InHarmsWay?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mass Effect: Green Lantern’s Light.
Regulars to the Library will probably recognize the author as the one who wrote the infamous Mass Effect fic known as Parallel Realities, which failed on so many levels that it makes the Catalyst from ME3 look like a good plot device (which is no easy feat, mind you). As the title implies, this particular fic is a crossover between Mass Effect and Green Lantern/DC Universe. While I’m not really big on DC comics, as a fan of Mass Effect I figured this was too good for me to pass up. The fic hasn’t been finished yet; in fact, it hasn’t been updated since late January, so either the fic is completely dead or InHarmsWay is as lazy as I am when it comes to updating his fics. Either way, I’ve still got 21 chapters of this thing to snark, so let’s get started.
I like this chapter for two reasons: one, it marks the halfway point of this waste of internet space, and two, it’s pretty short. Not that NWY is capable of writing a chapter-length chapter (if that even makes sense) but you know.