Title: Everyone Is Mutated!
Media: Video Game
Topic: Super Smash Bros.
Genre: …Adventure/Horror? …let’s go with that, sure.
URL: Edgy Lifelight and Prologue/Chapter 2
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura
(This is Halloween plays over the speakers. Elysium bursts into the room, dressed as Link and carrying a fake Master Sword.)
Elysium: *swinging the Master Sword* Ha! Hyah! HAAAAAAppy Halloween, patrons!
…I hope it’s still October. I have NO idea when this’ll go up.
Anyway! I WAS going to use this fic for when we reach the halfway point of Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros., buuuuuuut it clearly WANTS to be a horror fic (despite the fact that it isn’t tagged as horror), and it has mutants, so it counts!
…*looks at the doorway* ‘Mura, come on, we talked about this.
Rimura: *muffled* I’m not going in there.
Rimura: I hate this thrice-damned costume!
Elysium: Oh, come on! This is the last time you’ll have to wear it, you can suck it up!
(Rimura enters the room, dressed like Princess Zelda.)
Rimura: This had better not get on any social media.
Elysium: I make no promises.
Anyway! Let’s just jump right into it: Everyone is Mutated! by JacquIreBriggs.
Howdy, patrons! Welcome back to the spooptoberfestivities! We’ll be starting off today with the last of the pronker trio! Crunchy, care to recap the first two for us?
Yup! But this week will be different! Well, no it won’t but at least we have an author’s note this time.
Author’s Note: This is finally getting Roan out of the pickle I put him in in 2007. Completion of the stories “Lord Vader Needs Feet” and “Jedi Zombie.”
“I suppose we can be thankful this note is at least pertinent to the story, if still entirely unnecessary.”
Onward to the-
“To the six-hundred-eighty-two?”
I’m sure that’s foreshadowing.
While this so-called horror story continues to resoundingly fail at being even remotely scary, it starts to hit pretty hard with the gross-out attempts in terms of blood and guts and also a bizarre focus on the actions of Rainbow Dash’s bladder.
Author: Sergeant Sprinkles
Topic: My Little Pony
Genre: Creepypasta / “Horror” / Torture Porn
URL: Creepypasta Wiki Rehost
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry
Hello hello all you patrons! Inflate your favorite organs and sort your pegasus wings by color because we are back with more Cupcakes goodness.
Don’t you mean…
Hey y’all, Serketry here. Again. Until this fic is as dead as Rainbow Dash.
And, of course, by ‘goodness’ I mean ‘incredibly repetitive foreshadowing of incredibly repetitive torture porn’.
Last time, Pinkie Pie fed Rainbow Dash a drugged cupcake and tied her up in a torture chamber underneath Sugar Cube Corner. Much capering and posing with skulls ensued, but it was all pretty pointless. And…. that’s literally it.
EDITED BY EDINPONY COUNTER: 6
Dubiously sexual counter: 4
Title: Voicebox: A Ticci Toby fanfiction
Topic: Ticci Toby/Jeff the Killer/ Slenderman / etc.
Critiqued by PsychoNerd054
Welcome back to Voicebox. Hope you have your coffee ready, because I don’t. This will perhaps be the most boring chapter of the bunch.
The next morning after breakfast
You all died! You all died after breakfast! Because Freddy Kruger came out of nowhere and killed you all when you mentioned having breakfast for the 10 millionth time in this story! It seriously gets on people’s nerves!
Toby and I invaded BEN’s room and “borrowed” a laptop so that we could look up the information on Voodoo shops and priestesses.
Because invading on other people’s property is totally justified if you complain about your own privacy being invaded every day!
“Oh god, Ben’s got nothing but pictures of kittens and puppies on his computer. That can’t be! It needs more porno pics of me to make my hatred of him more justified!”
You’re reading about another dimension, a dimension not only of prose and and narrative but of pure, concentrated suck. A journey into a twisted land whose boundaries are that of a poor writer’s feeble imagination. That’s the header up ahead—your next stop, the Badfic Zone!
Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with something that really shouldn’t exist. You thought we were done with RWBY, but you were wrong! I decided that this year’s Badfic Zone would focus on horror games instead of movies for a change in pace. Of course, I happened to have a half-finished crossover riff on hand for just such an occasion!
Title: SOMA: the story (my version)
Media: Video Game
Critiqued by Crazy Minh and Major Wade
*The Bongo is a sparking mess. Replacement meatshields crew are disembarking from shuttlecraft within the sole functioning shuttlebay. Disco balls are being cranked back into the ceilings. Blown electrics are being repaired. Half the lights are blown, and the other half are flickering menacingly. The mess hall is unusable, and is filled with rotting souflees. Dead bodies line many of the hallways, either crushed by the force of immense gravity, or thrown about violently when the gravity was disabled. The bridge is half disassembled, with many consoles removed for repairs, leaving in their place tangles messes of wiring and the occasional Space Weevil. Only the captain’s console and the tactical station remain intact*
Goddamn superlasers…seriously, next time we dock at a riffbase, I’m installing circuit breakers…*Minh notices the viewscreen is on*
Hello patrons, and welcome to Spooktober! I’m Crazy Minh, and he’s Major Wade!
Sir, I have three hundred OHS forms here for you to sign off on. Also a bunch of status reports, some damage assessments, a handful of requisition forms, and a few thousand letters that need to be sent to the families of the deceased.
Not now, Wade! Today, we’re celebrating Spooktober with a story based on the psychological horror game, SOMA!
Media: Video Game
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat
Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to yet more ‘interesting’ interpretations of Slendpai.
This fic has a very … brief summary.
This is the origin of the infamous Slender Man
Based on my extensive experience reading Slender Man fics, it’s probably going to be one of three things; alien/cryptid species, evil science experiment, or he’s going to be some sort of supernatural entity.
Project:Der Schlanker Mann
You know it’s going to be scary ’cause it’s in German.
I’m going to warn you that this fic is one dense Wall-o-Text that doesn’t even have spaces between the (run-on) sentences, so I’m going to do my best to chop it into more manageable bricks.