2801: The pale rider saga – Chapter 4

Title: The pale rider saga
Author: Baron Von willystien
Media: Movie
Topic: Twilight/Evil Dead series
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by: Ghostcat

Hello, my dear Patrons, and welcome to the last chapter of this fun-filled extravaganza of tedium!

In the previous chapter Will/Wyatt got a new hand attached, went outside, managed to find the only deadite in the Abandoned Town in less than thirty seconds, and then managed to both snap his new hand and get infected by the demonic zombie before he staggered back to the house so that Bella could easily bite him and pump some sparklepire toxins into what has to be a severely damage circulatory system.

I should mention that at the time of writing this I’ve had several glasses of muscadine wine, which is more than enough to get my lightweight ass feelin’ fine, so this should be an interesting experience for everyone involved.

WOO-HOO!

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2798: The pale rider saga – Chapter 3

Title: The pale rider saga
Author: Baron Von willystien
Media: Movie
Topic: Twilight/Evil Dead series
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by: Ghostcat

Brightest day, dear Patrons, and welcome to a new chapter!

In the last chapter, Carlisle showed up, there was a murder basement, and Will/Wyatt decided to 3D-print a new hand to replace his sewer antique hand because reasons.

:flips through notes:

And despite the constant word-vomit, that was about it. On with the show!

the 5th seal

The Fifth Seal releases the cries of martyrs, who are seeking revenge/justice in Old Testament style “eye for an eye” fashion – namely that those who martyred them will die as the martyrs did. (I think the martyrs also get some new clothes to wear as the ascend into the heavens.) I don’t see how that could possibly backfire on anyone.

will grit his teeth as carlisle attached the wires to the nerves in the stump of his hand.

Unless he cut his individual fingers off, the stump is likely at his wrist. And I’m reasonably sure the prosthesis wouldn’t be hardwired into the nervous system even if it was individual fingers. I did some casual research about powered prostheses and they appear to work via a series of sensors that are triggered by the remaining muscles in the limb or through implanted sensors in the brain, not direct nerve input.

dammit carlisle he said as carlisle stitched. two of the fingers on the hand flexed and twitched. carlisle said quit moving them until i have this final stitch in it.

The fingers are moving independently? How?

The human wrist is a biological chokepoint;  in order to have that nice flexible joint there are only a few main ‘avenues’ – veins, nerves, etc. – that can pass through. None of the hand muscles really extend past the wrist, and the nerves for the fingers branch out from the wrist to the fingers. Hooking into the existing nerve “trunkline” would be like having a room with five outlets that are all controlled by a single switch by the door. You can operate all of those outlets at the same time, turning them off or on, but not independently. There are some really interesting things happening regarding prostheses where they have managed to create artificial limbs that can be manipulated with such fine control, but it involves mapping the brain to isolate the input areas for the individual fingers and using sensors in those areas to trigger the device, bypassing the nerves in the arm entirely. This idiot is literally just sewing a replacement hand onto his stump.

will looked at the wall focusing on the picture in the frame. it showed him and his uncle along with kayla, his wife.

I sense a Sudden Tragek Backstory!

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2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2

Title: The pale rider saga
Author: Baron Von willystien
Media: Movie
Topic: Twilight/Evil Dead series
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by: Ghostcat

Welcome to Chapter Two: Part Two; Electric Boogaloo, dear Patrons!

In the first brick of this chapter’s Wall-o-Text; a beer was thrown, there was a dog … :flips through notes: Damn but there are a lot of William variants in this. Will/Wyatt went out, talked to a Bill, acted a bit squirrely because he thought he saw something, and then came back to the house to find that Bella had left a note to say she had gone hunting.

I think that’s all. Laissez le bon médiocre temps rouler!

He put the note back down and looked around his dog was gone too.

Damn. Now you know things are serious.

He laughed thinking good she can walk him poor guy needs out more often.

Something tells me that Will/Wyatt doesn’t know what ‘hunting’ is, because it is slightly more intensive than just going for a walk.

He still felt like something was off like he was being watched.

He picked up the 1897 Winchester and loaded the chamber.

Is this the same firearm he was playing with earlier? I guess we should be grateful he doesn’t leave loaded weapons just laying around the house. It’s not as if there are wandering deadites that might attack; he’s in an Officially Abandoned Area™, after all.

He heard thumping upstairs like footsteps.

It was actually a Slinky going down the stairs; they can do that, you know. Alone or in pairs!

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2789: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 1

Title: The pale rider saga
Author: Baron Von willystien
Media: Movie
Topic: Twilight/Evil Dead series
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by: Ghostcat

Generic greetings, my dear Patrons, and welcome to another chapter of … Whatever this is.

In the previous chapter we were introduced to Wyatt – a cooler and more awesomer version of Ash Williams complete with a prosthetic hand- who was meeting with Bella in some unknown location that serves drinks and has easily punchable walls. Bella word-vomited up a bunch of exposition all over the place before revealing that she is a vampire, causing Wyatt to immediately brandish a weapon in her general vicinity. The chapter sort of ended after that, so presumably Wyatt is now stuck with Bella.

Chapter one I beheld a pale horse

Yes, yes; and its rider’s name was Death, and Hades followed him. If you’re going to force me to read Bible quotes I prefer the Song of Songs, but that is just the romantic in me.

Wyatt said you might as well call me by my first name seeing as it looks like for better or worse were gonna have to work together.

Did he ever actually tell her his name? I can’t remember and the massive Wall-o-Text is a pain to sort through so I don’t want to go check.

I’m will he said to Bella

Hold on, I thought his name was Wyatt?

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2784: The pale rider saga – Chapter 1

Title: The pale rider saga
Author: Baron Von willystien
Media: Movie
Topic: Twilight/Evil Dead series
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by: Ghostcat

Yellow, dear Patrons, and welcome to another crossover from the depths of The Evil Dead. This particular fic features one of fanfiction’s most used town bicycles, Twilight.

Because of course there would be a Twilight crossover. When is there ever not?

Now, let’s look at the summary to see what I’ve gotten myself into.

In a world where the necronomicon has unleashed evil into the world. There is more than one person who has fought it and lived. Some say he hid the real chosen one. Will Wyatt is the pale rider and man who has lost it all and nothing left to lose will stop at nothing to end it. Bella is a vampire who lost he daughter and the Cullen’s to this evil, she wants revenge.

Something tells me that grammar is not the author’s strong suit, or even their old worn-out pair of socks.

p style=”color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;”Prologue March 5th 2015 st James Missouri /p
p style=”color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;” /p
p style=”color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;”span style=”background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);”

I thought I had done something to mess up the formatting when I copied the text, but it really looks like that on ff.net. Presumably the author copied and pasted their text from somewhere else and the format of this heading information was incompatible with ff.net but they left it up anyway.

Ash williams he laughed as he drank his beer.

Because you can definitely drink and laugh at the same time. That doesn’t lead to choking at all.

Yea he’s dough them hard but let me tell you that bastards left things behind that can’t be put back and they’re spreading.

…Did I just have a stroke?

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