1882: Suicidal Nightmare– Crappy Pasta

Title: Suicidal Nightmare
Author: CreepyPastaPrincessLuna
Media: Animation
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Genre: Dark, Slice-Of-Life, and Other (it’s really just a creepypasta)
URL: Suicidal Nightmare
Critiqued by:
AdmiralSakai and Nina

WARNING

In case you couldn’t figure it out from the goddamn title, the pasta being riffed today contains potential flamebait in the form of a very strange handling of suicide. It’s not on the level of, say, a certain infamous Spongebob Squarepants ‘pasta previously riffed here, but exercise caution in the comments regardless. Also, expect the usual spoopy staples of random gore and character torture.

Hello hello all you patrons! Grab a heaping helping of cat brains and submit any roasted-fetus complaints to the Bureau of Demonic Affairs, because it’s time once again for…

spoop4

Roll it!”

Wait, no, that can’t be right!”

Ooooooooooh, yes it can!

What do you get when you combine the circle-jerking groupthink of the Creepypasta Wiki with the “anything goes” quality standards of fimfiction.net?

Why, ponypasta, of course!

Because nothing chills the blood like a show about magical talking horses who learn lessons about friendship, amiright?

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1876: Necrosleep Part 2– Crappy Pasta

Title: Necrosleep
Author: Lemniscate64
Media: Film??
Topic: Experiments In The Revival of Organisms, I guess
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Necrosleep
Critiqued by:
AdmiralSakai and Nina

Hello hello, all you patrons! Sign on up for the Nocturnal Underground and hail your nearest Stan, because it’s time once again for…

spoop4

“Roll it!”

 

Last time in part one of this ‘Necrosleep’ thing we got introduced to Reed Murdock, your creepypasta-standard loser Millennial sympathy sponge who somehow makes enough money off of his personal blog and random Internet shenanigans to rent his own apartment and feed/bathe/otherwise maintain a hairless Sphynx cat named Twig. Oh yeah, and his whole blog is included in a case file which reveals that at some point soon he’s going to die under suspicious circumstances.

“It doesn’t take a shoggoth-tsui to figure out that those circumstances are probably going to be related to the fact that Reed just swallowed a pill of the titular ‘necrosleep’, which he was basically handed for free by a representative of a shadowy Ukranian black-market pharmaceutical outfit with more blatant occult imagery and code-words packed into it than a witches’ sabbath in the Great Library of R’lyeh -well, technically his neighbors got handed it for free since he’s stealing their Internet signal, but the important bit seems to be that all of their products (which is basically just necrosleep, a pill that supposedly lets you never have to sleep) are credited to some flat-face scientist named ‘Doctor Hail A. Stan’. Yes, really.”

We resume Reed’s blog already in progress.

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1872: Slenderman: 8 Pages of Ecstasy Part I – Oneshot

Title: Slenderman: 8 Pages of Ecstasy: Part I
Author: HidingFromSlender
Media: Video Game/Creepypasta
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Horror
URL Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

You know, after the unexpected skeleton sex last time I thought I would go a little easier on you fine people.

I thought about it, but I’m not.

As you can tell from the title and header, this is a Slender Man fic – and it is a Romance! You know how much I love those. This is also a Horror fic, and really does have a little touch of horror in it. (Also a little touching and some very odd euphemisms.) It doesn’t get very graphic, but it really isn’t the sort of thing you should expose young, impressionable minds to either.

Let’s look at the summary!

She finds herself in the clutches of Slender, first in pleasure, then in terror.

I hope this isn’t a Reader fic; poor Whirlybat is still traumatized from the skeleton sex. Let’s go to the fic and see, shall we?

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1870: Necrosleep Part 1 — Crappy Pasta

Title: Necrosleep
Author: Lemniscate64
Media: Film??
Topic: Experiments In The Revival of Organisms, I guess
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Necrosleep
Critiqued by:
AdmiralSakai and Nina

*Guard-Novitiate Psk’nyor “Nina” C’hon staggers back into the control room from a generally armory-ward direction, smelling strongly of single-malt Scotch and wearing only a white ‘Straight Outta Innesmoth’ t-shirt a size too small for her and what look disturbingly like UNSC-Marine-issue men’s boxer shorts.

Due to her current somewhat disheveled state, it takes her a few moments to realize that RIFFCON seems to have undergone some… changes. Many of the fluorescent ceiling lights are cracked and broken, casting dark, ominous shadows over the hyper-realistic-blood-red carpeting; those terminals which are still functional display a number of popular 90s cartoon and video game characters dying increasingly violent deaths to the haunting strains of the original Lavender Town theme; several sections of raised floor shift dangerously as the skeletons beneath them threaten to pop out; and even the open spaces near the walls seem occupied by ghostly, supernatural forms that give the faintest suggestion of formal business attire. In the middle of it all sits the Admiral, dressed in a white Linkin Park hoodie and smiling an absurdly wide smile.*

“…

Awwww, glub no.”

Ohohoho, yes! My fellow patrons, it’s that time of year once again, so get Ready For Round 2, don’t GO TO SLEEP, and prepare to enjoy…

spoop4

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1869: Coffin Rock: Retold – Chapter Seven

Title: Coffin Rock: Retold
Author: PureNexus
Media: Movies
Topic: The Blair Witch Project/Alpha and Omega
Genre: Mystery and Horror
URL: Chapter Seven
Critiqued by Angie

What’s going on guys, gals and non binary pals! I’m Angie and I’m returning with another review of Coffin Rock: Retold. We are about at that halfway point, and last time Garth kicked the map into a river in a fashion that has nothing to do with The Blair Witch Project at all. Promise.

So let’s continue!

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1857: Coffin Rock: Retold – Chapter Six

Title: Coffin Rock: Retold
Author: PureNexus
Media: Movies
Topic: The Blair Witch Project/Alpha and Omega
Genre: Mystery and Horror
URL: Chapter Six
Critiqued by Angie

What’s up everybody? Welcome back to Coffin Rock: Retold, and today…I assume we’re getting more shit taken straight from The Blair Witch Project. I’m certainly excited.

I don’t think there’s a need for a ‘last time on’ since this fic is pretty unforgettable. So without further ado, let’s read on.

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1856: The Frozen Nightwatch – Chapter 3

  • Title: The Frozen Nightwatch
    Author: Gmagic1337
    Media: Video Game/Movie
    Topic:  Five Nights at Freddy’s/Frozen
    Genre: Fantasy/Horror
    URL: Chapter 3
    Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, and welcome to the third (and so far last) chapter!

At the end of the last chapter – which was full of the dry recitation of the deaths of many, many citizens of Arendelle as well as a gross cold and soggy chocolate pancake/whole strawberry/whipped non-dairy product sandwich – Anna read Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza ad in the newspaper and immediately decided that it was the perfect job for her despite the opposite being true.

On to the fic!

9:45 AM

Oh, look; a time stamp. :eye-twitch: Awesome. Just what the fic needed.

 

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