2469: Slender man’s victims – Oneshot

 

Title: One Night on Halloween
Author: doctorwhofan123456789
Media: Video Game
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

I know Spooktober is technically over for another year, but I refuse to let it die! Idecided to drag out another Slender fic because reasons. I’ve also taken massive amounts of cold medicine, so I really don’t have the cognitive faculties to work on anything too taxing right now.

[Note from FutureGhostie – I really shouldn’t write when tanked out of my gourd on Benadryl. My spelling and grammar suffer and I had to redo about two-thirds of this thing because I forgot to turn CapsLock off.]

Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

Two people gets lost in the woods. In the same forest slender man lives

Well, that’s certainly … succinct.

slender man’s victims

That would be the title, yes.

A slender fan fic

Just in case you thought a fic titled slender man’s victims  was actually a Wind in the Willows  fanfic.

Huh. I kind of wonder if that’s actually a thing.

…No, Ghostie; you can’t go off looking for more fanfics. Focus, girl.

“Bye mom, me and samantha are going for a walk” josh shouted at his mom.

Good-bye, random person who is probably going to die soon.

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2468: Halloween Oneshots – Spooptoberfest End

Title: A Sith’s Halloween
Author: Master Darth Warious – Lady of Chaos
Media: Movie
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: Spoopy Horror, Humor
URL: A Sith’s Halloween
Critiqued by TacoMagic

You might have noticed that yesterday I posted a guest shot and instead I’m posting my riff today.  That’s because we were out of spoop-themed guest posts, which was a problem because today is

HALLOWEEN!

And we’re going to end this like we started it, with some Star Wars!  But, this time the fic is actually about Halloween!

Sorta.

Our Star Wars correspondent is absent this week due to a sudden compelling need to spend all day on the heat rock, so we’ll just muddle through without him.

Onward to glory and summary!

An in-between Story for Two Sith Lords and an elf.

I immediately regret my life choices!

“Two Sith Lords and an Elf” is a collection of various fics written by Warious that is kind of its own little fan canon.  Based on the handfull of chapters I read, it’s a super cringy collection of small fics that all star herself.  I’ll probably get around to riffing those some day, but you don’t really need to know much about them for this little Halloween spinoff.

Darth Maul and Darth Warious give an account of what happened one October month in preparation for Halloween.

That’s what we call a “nothing fic confirmation” ’round these parts.

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2466: Jason Michael — Crappy Pasta

Title: Jason Michael
Author: Madison.herbert.52
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Jeff The Killer (I think?)
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Trollpasta Wiki Rehost
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai and Guard-Novitiate Psk’nyor “Nina” C’hon

Hello hello all you patrons! Put on your Lava Wings and make sure you have a plan to give the appearance of having escaped from being trapped inside a painting without actually leaving the painting, because it’s that time of year again!

 

 

 

 

 

Today is a momentous and auspicious day in the history of spoop, my dear patrons, because at long last THE TROLLPASTA WIKI IS BACK ONLINE WITH A NEW HOSTING SERVICE!!

“Ia! Ia! Trollpasta fthaghn!”

No more scrounging around a bunch of merely bland, forgettable pastas to get to the few that are outrageously bad. Now they’re all in one place!

“No more having pastas get deleted mid-riff, or between when we deciide to riff them and actually get around to it!”

And, of course, who can forget such gems as Donald Trump Kills the Creepypasta Universe, Sonic.exe Vietnamese Crystal Edition, and Does Anybody Know A Good Plumber?

“I mean, look at this! I just clicked on a link randomly, and I got a Jeff Clone with terrible grammar called Jason Michael!”

No, it’s not in fact slasher-slash.

“Aww, glub. Serves me right for getting my hopes up, I guess.”

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2464: Until Dawn Remix (Syoc) – Oneshot

You’re reading about another dimension, a dimension not only of prose and narrative but of pure, concentrated suck. A journey into a twisted land whose boundaries are that of a poor writer’s feeble imagination. That’s the header up ahead—your next stop, the Badfic Zone!

Title: Until Dawn Remix (Syoc) [sic]
Author: shayvion
Media: Video Game
Topic: Until Dawn
Genre: Romance / Horror
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13030003/1/Until-Dawn-Remix-Syoc
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags) and Spider-Man

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags…

GoodJamags: And I’m your guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back with the last fic for this year’s Badfic Zone. This one comes from the Until Dawn section of ff.net. Until Dawn is a narrative game with a branching story that I would have played if it weren’t a goddamn PlayStation exclusive. Seriously, guys. I am not going to buy an extra console just to play a couple games, and neither are most other people. What do you think you’re accomplishing with all of these fucking exclus-

*Tranquilized*

GoodJamags: That’s enough out of you. The story of the game is as such: We focus on a group of dumb horny teenagers who make an annual trip to a remote Canadian ski lodge on a mountain top with sketchy cell reception. The real plot twist is that most of them can actually not die if you make the right choices (and have a very steady hand for the motion-control minigames – or turn vibrations off and put the controller down on a table). Our initial group includes siblings (whose father owns the lodge) Hannah, Beth, and Josh Washington, along with generic protagonist Samantha “Sam” Giddings, recovering dick Mike Munroe, shy and withdrawn Ashley Brown, resident nerd Chris Hartley, petty and judgmental Emily Davis, good-nature jock Matt Taylor, and airhead Jess Riley.

GoodJamags: In the prologue, Mike, Ashley, Emily, Matt, and Jess play a prank on Hannah. She’s got a crush on Mike, so he invites her to his room alone. She gets a little overexcited, and the ensuing debacle is caught on camera by the other pranksters. Hannah, understandably upset, flees into the night, pursued by Beth. The two get lost in the woods, pursued by something that the player doesn’t get a clear look at, and fall off a cliff.

GoodJamags: The plot picks back up when Josh has unexpectedly invited everyone back to the lodge the following year, apparently hoping to mend the bridges that were burned. They begin to realize that a killer is hunting them down… except then it turns out there is no killer. Josh just wanted them to think there was as a revenge prank for what happened to Hannah and Beth. Problem is, the antics caused by the fake killer get the attention of the mountain’s other inhabitants: wendigoes, nigh-invulnerable undead creatures that used to be a group of miners that got trapped and resorted to cannibalism to survive. Long story short, Josh dies at some point no matter what (though where and how varies), but the others can actually all be OK if you’re careful. Basically it’s a Telltale-style story game, and it’s up to you whether you play the horror tropes straight or subvert them by having the characters be smart and sensible and survive by working as a group. Pretty cool.

You know what else is pretty cool?

GoodJamags: What?

Owning an X-Box One and not a PS4 and not being able to play the game because it’s an exclusive for no reason.

GoodJamags:will tranquilize you again.

Yeah, whatever. Anyway, the Until Dawn section of ff.net has a disturbingly large number of assorted self-inserts, OC-fics, and other Sue indicators on its front page alone (at least, when you narrow by the “horror” genre tag, which I do whenever I’m looking for Badfic Zone oneshots). This one jumped out at me because it’s an SYOC (“submit your own character”) fic, and that’s always a terrible sign.

GoodJamags: So, let’s dive in and see if any of these guys have generic fire powers or vaguely-defined “experiments” as a backstory!

I’m hoping for a Russian stereotype that can shoot bullets out of the air.

Syoc for the game Until Dawn.

GoodJamags: “Syoc?”

I said it was “submit your own-”

GoodJamags: Yeah, but the one in the summary isn’t an acronym. It’s just a nonsense word.

Enjoy the story of a group of teens trying to survive the night. Will they kill each other or fall in love.

Will they end questions with question marks.

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2460: Halloween Oneshots – Spooptoberfest Part Four

Title: Halloween Horror
Author: LyricalxRose
Media: Book
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Spoopy Horror, Drama, Fantasy
URL: Halloween Horror
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back to the Spooptoberfest, Patrons!  This week we’re going to do something that last week I said I had no plans on doing, and that’s Harry Potter Halloween fics!  See, in the comments last week Bats mentioned that there must be a ton of holiday nothing fics for Final Fantasy 7, which is absolutely true.  However, there are so, so many more for Harry Potter; a quick check indicates that there are roughly thirty-times more.

And, most of them are bad.

But we aren’t just about bad here in the Library, no, we’re also about, well, this:

View the night of Voldemort’s attack on the Potters through the eyes of Ami, Harry’s twin sister.

Brace yourselves patrons, this is going to be exceptionally pointless.

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2458: RWBY and Outlast – Chapters 5-8

You’re reading about another dimension, a dimension not only of prose and narrative but of pure, concentrated suck. A journey into a twisted land whose boundaries are that of a poor writer’s feeble imagination. That’s the header up ahead—your next stop, the Badfic Zone!

Title: RWBY and Outlast
Author: Fanfic Bros
Media: Web Series / Video Game
Topic: RWBY / Outlast
Genre: Hurt/Comfort / Horror
URL: Chapters 5, 6, 7, and 8
Critiqued by BatJamags and Ruby-Doo!

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with MystRWBY, Inc. for the latter half of this adventure into bizarrely regurgitative crossovers (though thankfully a much shorter one than The True Force)!

Last time, Team RWBY (plus unnecessary OC hanger-on) traveled to Mount Massive Asylum, inexplicably forgetting all of their weapons because plot regurgitation. They all forgot about their respective powers and abilities and got lost in the asylum. They proceeded to fuck around and just generally regurgitate the plot points of the original game. Usually described in terms of “the thing” and “the place” and “the guy.”

Oh, yeah, and the author’s failed attempts and writing their personalities kind of reminded me of the Scooby-Doo! gang, so snarky fake Ruby-Doo! dialogue kind of took over the riff, except by the end it was really more normal snark than Scooby-Doo! jokes because there was only so much mileage I could get out of that. I can virtually guarantee you’re all sick of it by now, but tough luck, I’m having fun. I promise next week’s riff will be all normal-like.

“We need to find the sprinklers valve” said Weiss

“I wonder where it is?” said Ruby

“I dont know Ruby we need to find it”

Weiss: Like, you’re a little slow on the uptake, aren’t you, Ruby-Doo?

Yang: Let’s split up and look for clues!

“Well lets find it before I die of blood loss” said Blake

“Blake it’s fine on the way we’ll try to find a medical kit” said Grey a text noise came

Blake: Damn, if you’re in charge of that then I know I’m – Oh, ew. Whose text tone is that?!

Yang: Uh… Would you believe I did it on a dare?

Ruby-Doo!: Please don’t talk about where you did it. Now give me the phone.

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2456: Spooptoberfest Guest Submission: Everyone Is Mutated!

Title: Everyone Is Mutated!
Author: JacquIreBriggs
Media: Video Game
Topic: Super Smash Bros.
Genre: …Adventure/Horror? …let’s go with that, sure.
URL: Edgy Lifelight and Prologue/Chapter 2
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura

(This is Halloween plays over the speakers. Elysium bursts into the room, dressed as Link and carrying a fake Master Sword.)

Elysium: *swinging the Master Sword* Ha! Hyah! HAAAAAAppy Halloween, patrons!

…I hope it’s still October. I have NO idea when this’ll go up.

Anyway! I WAS going to use this fic for when we reach the halfway point of Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros., buuuuuuut it clearly WANTS to be a horror fic (despite the fact that it isn’t tagged as horror), and it has mutants, so it counts!

*looks at the doorway* ‘Mura, come on, we talked about this.

Rimura: *muffled* I’m not going in there.

Elysium: Why?

Rimura: I hate this thrice-damned costume!

Elysium: Oh, come on! This is the last time you’ll have to wear it, you can suck it up!

Rimura:*sigh*

(Rimura enters the room, dressed like Princess Zelda.)

Rimura: This had better not get on any social media.

Elysium: I make no promises.

Anyway! Let’s just jump right into it: Everyone is Mutated! by JacquIreBriggs.

Roll tape!

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