1954: Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I – Chapter Three

Title:  Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I
Author:  dragonfang33
Media: Movie / Cartoon
Topic: Star Wars / MLP
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Darth Lord Crunchy (Retired)

Heyo, patrons!  Welcome back to another installment of ‘Shadow War’, the Star Wars fic where nothing happens and the characters don’t matter!  Crunchy is here again.

“You sound so pleased.”

Ecstatic.  Anyway, last time more long-winded nothing happened.

“I question whether you could consider that chapter long.”

Fine, more short-winded nothing happened.  The Cliff-notes of all the nothing is that Team Evil is landing their shit on the planet of Ponyland while Team Stu gathered a few juvenile recruits before being dispatched to explore what will coincidentally™ be the same exact planet that Team Evil is orbiting despite the region being nearly a third the size of the entire galaxy.

“Your Dickens would be proud.”

Compared to this, Dickens showed incredible restraint with his contrivances.  In any case, let’s get on with the show!

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1950: Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I – Chapter Two

Title:  Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I
Author:  dragonfang33
Media: Movie / Cartoon
Topic: Star Wars / MLP
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Darth Lord Crunchy (Retired)

Heyo, patrons, and welcome back!

“They must be delighted.”

No, I’m pretty sure they aren’t, this is “Shadow War,” after all.

“Yet, I am here to delight them.  So delighted they will be, provided they comprehend what is best for their well being.”

Don’t threaten the readers.  I would hate it if Jiwe would happen to find his way into Eliza’s emergency glitter reserve the next time you’re forced to watch him.

“You would not dare!”

Wouldn’t I?  I mean, I certainly would hate to inconvenience Markus with cleaning that up.

*Crunchy glowers menacingly at Taco*

“I believe my influence may have created something unsavory within you.  I would find that worth celebrating were it no so inconvenient.  We shall put aside this discussion for now as I believe it is time to recapitulate, yes?”

It would be, but nothing of note happened in the first chapter.

“You forget the introduction of the author insertion and his Awesome McEvil brother.  Ponyland was also briefly mentioned.”

As I said, nothing of note.

“Touché”

Anyway, let’s see what’s in store for us in chapter two!

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1944: Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I – Chapter One

Title:  Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I
Author:  dragonfang33
Media: Movie / Cartoon
Topic: Star Wars / MLP
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Darth Lord Crunchy (Retired)

Unnnggghhh, did anyone get the number of that party that hit me?

*Taco, who is laying on the ground covered in glitter and confetti, lifts his head off the ground to peer around the riffing chamber with blood-shot eyes*

The hell am I doing in Riffcon?

“Such an unseemly display.  Truly you monkeys have no sense of propriety.”

What are you doing here?

“The girls asked me to deliver your latest project.  Given the source material, it was inevitable that you would seek out and forcibly procure my assistance, so I acquiesced.

Another Star Wars, then?

“Sadly, yes.  Crossed with that show about ponies, no less.”

Well shit.  Okay, give me a moment to gather myself and we’ll do this thing.

“Allow me.  Darkwraiths!  Unleash the roughage!”

-*A pressurized blast of coffee and a change of clothes later*-

That was oddly refreshing.  Once you get past being burned by scalding hot coffee, anyway.

“I prefer to think of that as a bonus.”

Hello, dear patrons!  This week we start in on another smaller project: ‘Star Wars: Shadow Wars Episode I’ which has the distinction of being the only Star Wars fics I’ve riffed so far this year!

“Clever.”

While we’ve already covered the two canons covered by the fic, it’s worthwhile to note that this fic takes place in an AU that revolves around Emperor Luke Skywalker ruling over a new Jedi Empire in the wake of the events of the New Jedi Order book series.  It’s an AU featured in a handful of fanfics I’ve looked at, so apparently it’s a thing that exists outside of this particular fic.  I’m not sure why this small collection of authors created this AU, as it clashes pretty hard with all the books leading up to it, but I’ve learned that fanfiction AUs rarely bother to attempt to seamlessly merge with the source material.

Anyway, let’s just jump into the summary.

“Must we?”

How else are we supposed to know what’s going on?

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1914: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter Six

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter Six
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and Jamags)

Hello once again patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, this is your guest guest host, Jamags-

Jamags: Hello.

-and we’re back with even more boring AU!

Jamags: Your tone indicates that I should be excited.

Are you?

Jamags: Guess.

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1908: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter Five

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter Five
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and Jamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and we’re back with more boring AU!

Jamags: I’ve returned as well.

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1897: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter Four

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and Jamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags…

Jamags: And I’m back.

And I’m just happy he didn’t call the DRD again by saying he’s the guest guest host.

*Alarms blare*

Jamags: You’re not very smart, are you?

It’s not like I have to deal with it. Get moving, minion.

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1884: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter Three

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and we’re back with more of this thing.

Last time, OOC!Mandalorian!Padme and a squad of Rule 63troopers blew up a droid factory after some sloppy action scenes and sloppier tactics. Let’s see what lies in store for us this time.

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