2525: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty-Three, Part One

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Here we are, people, the chapter everyone has been waiting for: the chapter entirely dedicated to exposition on the Pointless Sue’s backstory.  I’m sure you’re all as excited as I am.  Want to hit us with that sweet, sweet recap action, Crunchy?

“Absolutely.”  *Crunchy starts to pull out a djembe and four action figures*

Okay, I think we get the idea.

“Blast!  Though I believe you owe us a set of predictions for this chapter, yes?”

Yup, I’ve spent about four minutes thinking about this, so I’d like to present the following as my predictions for what we get dropped in this chapter.

  • Ashei is Auru’s daughter which was kept a secret because reasons.
    • Bonus points for the reasons being stupid and basically come down to a mixture of douchebandonment and keeping a secret just so that there’s a secret.
    • Double bonus if she’s the product of an affair between Auru and the Queen or, more likely, some kind of suddenly existing queen’s sister or some similar nonsense.
      • It’s almost certainly going to be Impa, but I’m waiting for the royal blood tie-in.
  • The words “Last Hope” are used at least once.
  • Auru is unironically described as ‘giving a sad look.’
  • Ashei is some kind of special child who joins both the Force and Hyrulian magic in some kind of bullshit way.
    • Redemption bonus if Ashei is a genetically engineered magical soldier created from the royal family’s DNA.
  • Unfortunately it turned out that Impa knew all along
  • Ashei is described as the default inheriter of the throne if something were to happen to Zelda.
    • Hyper bonus if Ashei is unironically described as a backup princess of legend.
  • Ashei is told about some other dormant power(s) she’s supposed to have.
  • The words “coming of age” are used to describe her suddenly blossoming into a Sue.
  • Her relationship with Link was foretold by legend somehow.
  • Ashei is the princess in the legend and not Zelda.
  • Super Mega Bonus Prediction: Ashei is described as a Sage who gets to stay in Hyrule.

“You truly think all those things will be in this chapter?”

Eh, some of those are more flippant than others, I’d consider it a win if even half of them were in the chapter.

“And by ‘win’ you mean ‘horrible loss,’ yes?”

Yep.  Let’s get cracking!

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2520: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty-Two, Part Four

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Whew, here we are, the last part of the herculean chapter twenty-two.  Finally.  No reason to beat about the bush this week, so hit us with that recap action, Crunchy!

“The dead yachting continues unabated despite the horrific collisions, the whelp admits connections to the dark side while investigators examine claims of inappropriate personal protective equipment, and the construction of a new bridge was started today amid cries that damage to the historical architecture is likely.”

Gloriously obtuse.  Let’s dig in!

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2515: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty-Two, Part Three

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

*Taco slowly lumbers into the room, and looks around blearily before focusing his attention on Crunchy, who is sleeping prone on his heat rock*

Ugh, did you get the number of that party that hit us?

*One of Crunchy’s bloodshot eyes slides halfway open and focuses on Taco*

“I suppose we should be so fortunate that it did not cause a full-Library respawn event.”

I’m not sure that it didn’t.  Things get a bit hazy after the round of full-contact Agricola.

“Neither of us is garbed as a giant penguin, so it seems a fair assumption.”

Yeah, there is that.  Regardless, it’s pretty quiet out there this morning, I think most of the Library is sleeping in today.  *Taco holds out a Suddenly There™ cup of roughage to Crunchy*  Thankfully our barista is a vampire.

*Crunchy slowly rises from his rock, tests each leg carefully before putting weight on it, and reaches unsteadily out to grasp the roughage with lightly trembling talons*

You feeling up to a recap.

“I suppose I could put something together.  Ahem, a fourteen-year-old D&D campaign proceeds with at least one member usually in the party’s search checks. Meanwhile the GM constantly forgets the mechanics of the game’s magic system.”

Good enough, let’s see what dungeon crawling shenanigans they get up to this week.

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2499: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty-Two, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Welcome back, patrons.  It’s Wednesday, so that means it’s time for your weekly injection of high school fantasy anime.  Crunchy will now furnish us with a recap.

“The illusory traps were as substantive as the threat posed by terror unnamed.  Meanwhile the temple’s environmental management service assured air purity with the new Miasma Roomba.”

Beautifully obtuse, thank you.  Let’s check in with the fic already in progress.

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2493: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty-Two, Part One

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Hello again, patrons, and welcome back to True Force High: The Blushening.  I’m back from my yearly stay out in the wilds of Wisconsin, so things should settle back into place for at least another week before the end of the year holidays put a stop to any kind of consistency.  With me, as always, is Crunchy.  Want to hit us with that sweet recap action?

“One moment while I prepare it.”

Wha-

Ah.

Well, this week we start our plunge into the second longest chapter in the entire fic.  It’s a monster of verbiage that is going to take a fair few installments to conquer, so sit back, strap in, and grab a warm cup of whatever stuff you have nearby.  Let’s get cracking!

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2484: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty-One, Part Three

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Heyo, patrons!  Welcome back to the final installment of Chapter Twenty-One!  What did we do last time, Crunchy?

“Musical spinning and moisture followed by copious female speak.  Beyond that, the start of spelunking.”

Honestly I didn’t think even that much happened.  Regardless, let’s jump into the last bit and see if Vikki can finish strong!

(Spoiler from the future: She can’t.)

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2479: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty-One, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Happy Wednesday the Thirteenth, patrons, and welcome back to the second part of chapter twenty-one: Whimsical Well Wanderings.

“That is most assuredly not the name of the chapter.”

Maybe not, but it’s better that what it’s actually named.

“I contest that as also false.”

Whatever, hit us with that hot recap action!

“How much roughage have you had this morning?”

I’m on my second thirty-two ounce (sixteen-point-eight kilometers for our metric friends) mug full!

“I see.  So far as part one is concerned, we were treated to Schrodinger’s conflagration in the village, the resident useless-Sue developed super-princess powers, and the old protagonist became unstuck in time.  Also, the village gates vanished in a fit of convenient anti-plot.”

That was far more comprehensible than I’m used to.

“It is likely that I am a smidgen rusty after our lengthy break.”

Good, then I’ll look forward to the recaps becoming less intelligible as we get back into the groove.  Anyway, let’s get crackin’!

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