2076: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Seven, Part One

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Heyo, patrons!  Today we start in on chapter seven, and it’s a doozy, one of the longest in the fic.  Also, for those of you in the States, happy Blow Stuff Up day!  For those elsewhere around the globe, happy Wednesday!

Also, the more adroit of you will notice the number on this fic doesn’t line up.  Unfortunately a numbering snafu lead to 2062 getting skipped, so, in proper fanfiction fashion, instead of going back to fix it by renumbering everything, I’m just going to slap a band-aid on it and give this one the number we missed.

Seem stupid and lazy?  I’ll let you budding authors answer that question and then take a long, slow look at your own drafting and rewrite process.

Last time we finished up the Dodongo caverns with the help of Big Red, the inexplicable baby-Stu dragon.  Fortunately Vikki promised that he’ll be leaving the party soon, so we can look forward to that, and to Link slaying him later in the fic.

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2070: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Six, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back to The Exposition Force!  Or something like that.  Last time we covered the first half of Dodongo Cavern and shared some Conversation of Deep Foreboding™ with Impa and Auru in which we learn that Zelda is to multiclass as a Mage/Jedi.  Those familiar with the mechanics already know that, while fun, multiclassing really only trades increased versatility for a gimped spell list.  Prestige classes notwithstanding.  Anyway, Zelda is also apparently their last and only hope, as if Impa already forgot her other asset of a small boy and his bitchy fairy companion.

Okay, yeah, I can see why she didn’t list that as among her assets.

Once again, here’s your Link to the Playlist for the Ocarina of Time LP, in case you need to refresh yourself on all the parts I’ll be skipping.

We join Link and Sexy!Navi on location as they wake up from their nap in Dodongo Cavern.

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2063: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Six, Part One

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back to The Legend of Zelda: Let’s Play the Force!  Last time stuff and things happened, it’s all from the game so, once again, no recap for you.

Speaking of things from the game, who’s ready for more dungeon crawling loaded with game mechanics!?  Before you answer, you’ll be glad to know that the doors are locked from the outside in order to better facilitate eager reading.

Since we’re in a new chapter, we get treated to another of Vikki’s horrendous headers.  And this one is more horrendous-y than those that came before.

Disclaimer: You know, if I were a Sheikah… maybe I could get past all the security and sneak into the patent office so I could sneakily sneak out the rights to both Zelda and Star Wars

I suppose it really shouldn’t surprise me that fic authors wouldn’t understand the vast difference between a copyright and a patent, and I guess I’m not actually surprised per se, but I do still find it depressing that so little awareness of intellectual property laws exist within the fanfiction communities.  Regardless of whether or not the laws are fair and just (and in many ways they are not), knowledge of the laws that you’re breaking operating under should be one of those pieces of knowledge you familiarize yourself with early on in the process of writing a derivative work.

but… regrettably I am lacking in any incredible Sheikah ninja powers (or any amazing Jedi Force powers for that matter) so I own nothing, except my plot.

Still waiting for your plot to show up, Vikki.  And no, copying Ocarina and making a few superficial changes to future it up does not count.  Like, at all.

Sheesh, I had to practically pry myself from my sketchpad… I’ve been drawing character profiles for this fanfic this past week and I’m still not done… well, I promised you guys one chapter a week during summer so here it is.

I just don’t get it.  You’re obviously passionate about drawing yet you keep stopping to force yourself to write a fic that you’ve many times expressed boredom and frustration with.  Clearly you do not enjoying writing this story and, on top of that, you really suck at writing it anyway.  Why force yourself to keep making this fetid pile of regurgitation slop?

It’s not even like you were getting that much attention.  You’ve got barely over forty reviews, that’s less than two per chapter.  Hell, chapter one of my riff involved me typing more total words than exist in the sum of all your reviews combined.

It’s weird to think that I’ve given this fic more attention and consideration than anyone else, I would say including the author.  Well, I suppose the saying “familiarity breeds contempt” has never been more true.

I swear I’m going finish this before I go to choir camp even if it turns out to be longer than the last one! (Though it’s only the cavern, so it shouldn’t take terribly long.)

My preference is toward a length of zero words.  I think you could totally hit that before your camp.

All right, quit reading my useless ramble and go read the actual story. :)

Well, at least you recognize that your author’s notes are nothing more than useless attention mongering. )={)

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2056: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Five, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Heyo, patrons, and welcome back to Legend of Zelda: The True Force the game, the novel.

Last time Link went to Lon Lon Ranch, got some milk, had lunch, and left.

That’s it.  That’s all that happened. Six-thousand words condensed down to fifteen with no loss of content.

Anyway, let’s head into the second act of Chapter Five, in which Link and Sexy!Navi take a short, but pointless, sidetrip back to their hometown to let Makar know that they’re doing the thing.

Link panted heavily as he crossed the threshold back into the forest. Fado was walking out of his house just as Link entered and waved to him.

“Hey Link! Back so soon?” He sounded hopeful. Link shook his head. “I came to see Makar. Do you know where he is?” Fado frowned. “I think Makar went to visit the temple ruins in the Lost Woods. You know the place, don’t you?” Link nodded. “All right. Thanks, Fado!”

Ah, right, now I remember this part.  If you’re big into the exploration aspect of the game, once you’re cut loose from Hyrule a bunch of stuff opens up in the Lost woods area.  It’s essentially a subquest roundup at this point where you can find some more gold skultulas, heart pieces, and money and such, but there is also a cutscene with Saria in the Sacred Forest Meadow (which is in front of the Forest Temple you explore later) that you’re supposed to see before you go off to do other stuff.

I don’t dare to hope that Vikki’s going to skip all the faffing about you can do before the meeting with Saria Makar.

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2050: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Five, Part One

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons!  Last week we didn’t really have anything unique to the author so we can skip past the recap and get right into the meat of chapter five’s disclaimer.

If I had a flux capacitator I might be able to own this… or a Jedi Mind trick.

I’m not sure you would want to own a Jedi Mind trick.  I’m not sure how you could even own something like that.  And trust me, even if you did head back in time to write this fic again, you still wouldn’t own it because it’s all stolen from Nintendo.

Honestly, though, if you could go back in time, I’d hope you’d convince yourself not to write this in the first place.

However, since I am lacking in both materials, this is still not mine.

Both materials?  So you’re lacking a flux “capacitator” and a… mind?

Only the plot concept is mine.

The concept being: “I should steal from Shigeru Miyamoto!”

Onward to the author’s note!

Author’s Notes-

Okay, here’s the thing.

Been a while since I’ve gotten to use that.

I’ve got summer assignments to work on and this is how it’s going to work until school starts up again (which is my senior year by the way…) at which point the actual upload dates of any of my chapters will no longer be of any certainty.

Seeing as you aren’t working for a publisher who enforces deadlines on you, this is all irrelevant.  But thanks for playing!

I should be able to upload at least one chapter, maybe two every week, unless I expect to be going somewhere or doing something that might prohibit the writing process.

Unfortunately, we still have twenty-five chapters to go, so Vikki wasn’t prohibited nearly as much as we all might have hoped.

This may include but is not limited to: other plotbunnies, video games, summer assignments, personal artwork, writer’s block, etc.

Writing void in Utah.  If your writing remains bland for more than twenty-four hours, please consult an editor.  Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of literacy.

So, uh… all right. Carry on. :)

Oh, I will >;D.

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2045: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Four, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons!  Are you ready to finish off chapter four!?

Tough, we’re doing it anyway.

I’d sum up all the important new events from last time, but you know how that goes.  So far as unimportant points, well, Link snuck into the castle in a box of milk.  There you go.

And, happy days, since we’re starting mid chapter we don’t have an inane header to skip over!

Sadly we do have a lot of plot regurgitation this week, so you may want your galoshes.

For those following along, here’s where we are in the plot:

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2040: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Four, Part One

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

It’s Wednesday!  And do you know what that means?  It means the doors are locked from the outside until we finish another chapter of True Force.  Well, half a chapter.  As this fic goes on the chapters get progressively longer and, mercifully, include more not-stolen content to riff on.  So, I’m going to have to start breaking them up to keep them things at manageable length.

This week I almost have enough to make a recap!  By almost, I mean the whole recap of the unique content would look like this:

Child Link meets child Anakin in Hyrule Castle Town and they play a board game.

So we may as well just jump into the fic.  And boy do I have a treat for you in today’s author’s note!

Oh, also, starting today I’m going to be skipping everything in Vikki’s header except the disclaimer since it is unique every chapter.  And we really don’t want to skip this week’s.

Well as of now, George Lucas still owns Star Wars and Shigeru Miyamoto still owns the Legend of Zelda. And, last I checked, both of them are guys. I’m a girl. You do the math.

Do the math?  Okay, so two guys plus one girl equal-

*A cacophonous blast of porno music launches Taco out of his chair*

I own nothing, except my plot.

I’m sorry, your plot?  Your plot!?

Author’s Notes-

Yes, there is an actual plot.

Technically true, but it’s still not YOUR plot.

And yes, we’re getting to it, but I need you all to sit tight while I work on some character development, okay?

As a reference, if you think you have to say something like this to your audience, you’re failing pretty hard as an author.  Which, to be fair, Vikki certainly is failing pretty hard as an author.

Thanks.

Now go read my stuff. :)

I’d be happy to!  Can you point me to something that’s actually yours?

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