2636: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed by the Protagonists) — Chapter 14 Part 2

-WARNING-
While not to such a degree as the previous segment, this one continues to contain potential flamebait in the form of War On Terror tactica talking-points that can’t really be addressed without to some degree bringing up people and movements still active in the political sphere today.

Title: Mass Effect: The First War
Author: ProfFartBurger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 14
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War.

Last time, Daddy McStu employed unnecessarily brutal, unnecessarily elaborate, and ultimately rather ineffective torture tactics on some random turian POW, and there was a great deal of confusion about whether the Codex entries that are bloating up an alarming amount of this chapter are subject to in-universe censorship or not. Also a bunch of Pointless Panic about Element Zero contamination happened (including another invocation of the ever-mysterious “Terraforming Discs”), and the preparations for the strategically highly confusing invasion of Palaven marched on to their inevitable stupid conclusion.

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It occurs to me that this bingo board has now gone through thirteen distinct revisions. Nearly one every single chapter.

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2635: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed by the Protagonists) — Chapter 13 Part 3

-WARNING-
After dancing right up to it and back again for God knows how many scenes, the ‘fic finally decides to go right out into the open with the Hiroshima reference in this chapter. Not only that, but it also gets much more current and starts throwing around War On Terror talking points in the same section. Our usual watchwords of “Try to be less incendiary than the ‘fic itself” thus leave a lot of space underneath them in this instance. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the civility and reasonableness with which people have discussed these kinds of issues in other riffs of this ‘fic before- please do your best to see that it continues.

Title: Mass Effect: The First War
Author: ProfFartBurger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 13
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War.

Last time, the Council finally got its ass in gear and prepared for a full-scale war against the Stumans, which they planned to prosecute by… doing nothing other than affixing a tracking device to the Stumans’ retreating flagship so that they can find the location of Earth… which they already know twice over. And this tracking device somehow involves “nanomachines” as well because basically everything in this story does.

The really sad part is, this still counts as progress for the Council.

Also, some CODbro we don’t care about had a really delayed reaction to getting hit with a biotic attack, which somehow led the human scientists to conclude that Element Zero Element U got released into Earth’s atmosphere to presumably explain the later existence of human biotics.

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2626: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed by the Protagonists) — Chapter 13 Part 1

Title: Mass Effect: The First War
Author: ProfFartBurger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 13
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War!

Last time, after thoroughly bungling their own attempt at peace talks with the Council, the Stumans shot their way off the Citadel by deploying incendiary bombs against civilian targets and a physically-dubious mondo EMP that blacked out the whole station. Also, despite having had access to the Citadel Codex thanks to the quarians well beforehand, none of the Stumans’ forces know what biotics are. And there’s a small clot of knockoff-SPARTANS left hiding on the station with Yet Another Nuke and several shipping containers full of building-sized mechs, all of which are somehow supposed to help them capture or kill Tarren Sparatus since the author has developed some sort of weird obsession with him specifically to the exclusion of other turians.

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2608: My life as Spitfire: A sex-ed story. — One-Shot

Title: My life as Spitfire: A sex-ed story.
Author: Duskrunner
Media: Television
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Genre: Romance, Slice of Life, Sex PSA
URL: Entire Fic
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

-WARNING-

In case the title did not give it away, this ‘fic attempts to discuss sex and relationships in some detail. The fact that it is on the Library should tell you how well it succeeded.

Expect not just somewhat more frank addressing of anatomy than is normal for polite conversation, but also the introduction of MRA-y talking points and authorial reactions to same.

Also, this riff is about twice as long as our usual maximum– that’s why it’s going up on Monday instead of Tuesday, so that people have some more time to read it and wade through its somewhat weightier subject matter before Taco’s comes along.

Hello hello all you patrons!

After the fascist fizzle that was To Last A Thousand Years, I’m about ready to go back to Mass Effect: The First War, but before then I felt like staking a one-shot or two, so… here we are, with… My Life as Spitfire: A sex-ed story., which I can only read in the same way as Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

Also, yes, the period is indeed part of the title.

Howdy y’all, Serketry here. I can tell the Admiral here’s getting a little bogged down at RiffCon, so I thought I’d clock back in and do my part to lighten the load, as it were. A janitor’s work is never done. 

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2594: To Last A Thousand Years — Chapter 2

-WARNING-
Still Nazis, I guess.

Title: To Last A Thousand Years
Author: TallYapflip
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to To Last A Thousand Years!

Last time… the events leading up to Mass Effect 1 happened. I don’t know why we needed to be told this since the ‘fic ostensibly is about Mass Effect and thus its readership would already know this, and the Systems Alliance being ‘Murca-Nazis had absolutely no effect on any of it, but told this we were anyway!

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Friendly Neighborhood Nazis Counter: 7

Porsche Counter: 5

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