2187: FNG – Chapter Three, Part One (But it’s actually Chapter Two, Part One)

Title: FNG
Author: Richie23
Media: Video Game
Topic: Rainbow Six: Siege
Genre: Suspense/Adventure
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by SC and Operative SC

Hello, and welcome back to “FNG,” by Richie23! I’m your host, SC, joined by myself, and last time, we bounced back and forth between Thatcher and Thermite chatting about how complete ass-backwards bullshit cool and awesome their new recruits sounded on paper, watching Jon and Citrus continue hating each other on a plane ride, and watching Six give Thatcher and Thermite a critical mission objective to lead a fireteam to Heathrow and secure the dipshits as they disembark their plane.

I also made a bunch of half-assed excuses completely justified why it took me so long to complete one chapter of this riff, whilst simultaneously giving Chosen Undead SC perpetual nightmares.

Operative SC: Now he’s clinging to the chandelier, chucking Soul Arrows at anybody who tries to get him to come down.

Frankly, I’m amazed he found a chandelier strong enough to hold his weight. Guy’s in, like, sixty pounds of armor.

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2176: FNG – Chapter Two, Part Three (But it’s actually Chapter One, Part Three)

Title: FNG
Author: Richie23
Media: Video Game
Topic: Rainbow Six: Siege
Genre: Suspense/Adventure
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by SC and Operative SC

Hello, and welcome back to “FNG,” by Richie23! I’m your host, SC, joined by myself, and last time, our two idiots got recruited into Rainbow and met each other in person, and for some reason, they really didn’t like each other. Also, Rainbow got a look at their files, and for reasons beyond my comprehension, the response was not, “oh fucking great, we picked up a pair of jackasses.”

Also, this riff took longer to write up because I was busy slaying vampires, and prior to that, got yoinked into Sakai’s damn Creepypasta riff against my will.

*Various pained-sounding spoopy noises*

You know, pasta authors, it really says something when I can kick the crap out of your monsters.

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2170: Love Amidst The Blood – Chapter Three (FINALE)

Title: Love Amidst The Blood
Author: CalvinHobbesGatsby
Media: Video Game
Topic: Vampire: The Masquerade
Genre: Romance/Horror
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by SC

~TRIGGER WARNING: PROBABLY RACISM AND GANG VIOLENCE. EDGY AUTHOR CONTINUES BEING EDGY~

Hello, and welcome back to “Love Amidst The Blood,” by CalvinHobbesGatsby! I’m your host, SC, and last time, we met Barrett, a goffik girl who lives in a family of fundamentalist religious nutjobs and can’t stop thinking about vampires. Ever. It’s a little worrying, actually. Also, CalvinHobbesGatsby annoyed a fair portion of the comments section with their incredibly lackluster depiction of religious extremism, in particular due to how much it read like the author was just looking for an easy target to vilify, and more or less outed themselves as what I already had them pegged for: a dumbass edgelord.

Well, luckily, we won’t have to put up with this crap for very much longer, because this week is the final chapter, “Nines.”

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2163: Love Amidst The Blood – Chapter Two

Title: Love Amidst The Blood
Author: CalvinHobbesGatsby
Media: Video Game
Topic: Vampire: The Masquerade
Genre: Romance/Horror
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by SC

~TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC ABUSE, ALSO POORLY-DEPICTED FANATICISM~

Hello, and welcome back to “Love Amidst The Blood, by CalvinHobbesGatsby! I figure if Sakai and Bats are doing spooky intros, I should probably try and do a spooky intro myself, so, uh…

*SC dons a blanket with eyeholes cut out*

…Boo. There, you got spooked.

*SC throws off the blanket*

Alright, enough of that shit. Last time, we met London, resident edgelord vampire #1294483849506. London sat in a bar, drank water, stared at people, watched the Lakers lose against the Jazz, and then decided to leave. Shortly afterwards, London found a dude trying to rape a gal, and decided to save said gal’s life… by breaking the Masquerade no less than three times by mine and Taco’s combined count, perhaps more because he started crushing rapist dude’s fist right in front of the lady he then told to scramoose.

So as we await London’s impending doom at the hands of whoever currently runs the Masquerade in LA, let’s move on to the next chapter!

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2157: Love Amidst The Blood – Chapter One

Title: Love Amidst The Blood
Author: CalvinHobbesGatsby
Media: Video Game
Topic: Vampire: The Masquerade
Genre: Romance/Horror
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by SC

~TRIGGER WARNING: As indicated in the fic, itself, potential child abuse ahead. Probably in future chapters. Also near-rape. Read on at your own discretion.~

Hello, and welcome back to the Library of the Damned! I’m your host, SC, and it’s October! Everybody else is starting to do holiday-themed riffs, and since I can’t just not jump on the bandwagon, I figure I’ll do some of my own!

For the next three weeks.

To give me a sizable enough buffer to finish the current chapter of FNG.

Because I’m lazy.

And how will I fill in three weeks worth of Halloween riffs? Why, with a fic that’s too long to be a oneshot, but too short to be a full riff, naturally!

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2153: Blood Freezing Experiment, The Creature in the Meteorite, and Instant Death Disease — Crappy Pasta

Title: Blood Freezing Experiment
Author: EvraVon53
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Science!
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Blood Freezing Experiment

Title: The Creature in the Meteorite
Author: Raidra
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Science!
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: The Creature in the Meteorite

Title: Instant Death Disease
Author: Lost to the mists of time.
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Science!
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Dramatic Reading and Giant Wad Of Deleted Pages Including The Pasta

Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai, Guard-Novitiate Psk’nyor “Nina” C’hon, and Specstacular SC.

“Is it time?”

The leaves are turning, the corner supermarket just put out a giant barrel of candy corn, and I was able to walk to work today without sweating away half my body mass. You bet it’s time.

“Then let’s start this motherglubber.”

Hello hello all you patrons. Move on into your spider condos, make sure you have your local Religion Master on speed dial, and prepare yourselves for…

spoop4

Hit it, Admiral!

With pleasure.

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2138: FNG – Chapter Two, Part Two (But it’s actually Chapter One, Part Two)

Title: FNG
Author: Richie23
Media: Video Game
Topic: Rainbow Six: Siege
Genre: Suspense/Adventure
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by SC and Operative SC

Hello, and welcome back to “FNG,” by Richie23! I’m your host, SC, joined by myself, and last time, we officially recruited Jonathan to “the Rainbow,” who are a counter-terrorism organization which answers to “the NATO.” It was a clusterfuck of bad grammar and even worse military know-how on the author’s end, and even Jon, himself, is shocked that they considered him worth the time of day.

This week, it’s the TWENTY-ONETH OF APRIL at Rainbow HQ, and we’re gonna finish off chapter one (even though I have it listed as chapter two because laziness), so let’s go ahead and jump back in.

…These intros get shorter and shorter all the time anymore. What is happening to me?

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