Art-tastic Saturday! – Some Overwatch fanart, and no, SC’s ass is not on fire.

Hey, people! It’s ya boi SC! No riff from me this week, because I couldn’t finish it in time, but I wanted to post something anyhow to let you know that I’m alright.

For anybody not in the know, I live in Northern California, and Northern California currently lives in hell – by which I mean, EVERYTHING’S ON FUCKING FIRE. The situation is, some freaky-ass winds knocked over trees that fell onto power lines, which started the fires nearest to me; meanwhile, a bit south of us, some fuckass arsonists went around lighting up a bunch of other fires. The result wound up being twenty-one wildfires igniting all in the same day, and it’s been absolute chaos up here ever since, trying to get them fought.

Unfortunately, I wound up having to be evacuated from my home on the first day (we got given the order to leave at about one in the morning, and you could see an ominous red glow creeping over the hill just across the way, that’s how close it was to me), so I’ve been spending about the last week waiting on pins and needles for the situation to turn around enough for me to try and get back to my normal day-to-day, hence the lack of a riff. I’m back home now, and things appear to be turning around for the better. Now, keep in mind, the situation is far from handled – even with so many resources pouring in from places as far-flung as Australia, the fire nearest to me is only 20% contained, and has already claimed over 34,000 acres of land. If the winds come back and blow the fire south, I’ll probably have to evacuate again. But, for the time being, all’s good with me, and you can trust that if I do have to fuck off to Nopetopia again, I’ll probably have enough advance warning to get out with my family and pets safely.

So, with that out of the way, I can’t just leave you guys without at least a nice picture to look at – so have some Overwatch fanart! The creator is credited in the image, proper, so go give her gallery a look if you feel so inclined.

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1873: Valkyrie: The Unknown Unit – Chapter One, Part Two

Title: Valkyire: The Unknown Unit
Author: JewishPotato
Media: Video Game
Topic: Overwatch
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by SC, Bifocals and Glasses

SC’s Note: It’s since been brought to my attention that naming a team of dudes “Valkyrie” isn’t necessarily a bad choice. However, given that by the time I was told this, most of the riff had already been written, going back and editing all of my jokes now would delay this by another week, at LEAST. I kind of don’t want to do that, so I’m just gonna warn you ahead of time that the joke is made somewhat frequently in this part.

Past this, though, I’ll stop harping on about it.

~~~

Hello, and welcome back to Valkyrie: The Unknown Unit, by JewishPotato! I’m your host, SC, joined by Bifocals and Glasses (Shades got grumpy after I forced her to clean up the dropship she, well, dropped on my riffing chamber, so she didn’t want to riff this fic anymore), and last time, we met the Valkyrie squad: a team of dudes, contrary to the name, who were supposedly ex-special forces and liked to do things “old school.” Old school, according to these guys, apparently means using inferior arms and armaments that are all but guaranteed to be useless against the kinds of opponents Overwatch typically faces. Supposedly, this team was the creation of a one Strike Commander Jack Morrison, and neither Overwatch nor Blackwatch know of their existence. We took them apart sentence by sentence, because for all this author’s efforts to build these guys up as “better and cooler” than Overwatch and Blackwatch, he has almost no idea what the hell he’s on about. I suspect this pattern will continue here in part two.

And because Shades ducked out due to a sudden onset of grumpy bitch, Glasses is here to replace her.

Glasses: I haven’t done a riff in so long, I worry I may not remember how.

Oh, stop being so dramatic.

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1868: Valkyrie: The Unknown Unit – Chapter One, Part One

Title: Valkyire: The Unknown Unit
Author: JewishPotato
Media: Video Game
Topic: Overwatch
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by SC, Bifocals and Shades

Hello, and welcome back to the Library of the Damned! I’m your host, SC, joined by Shades and Bifocals, and I’m here with a new riff (yes, a new long riff on top of an ongoing long riff, I know I’m stupid, you don’t have to remind me)!

Actually, funny story… I was working on a oneshot, but that oneshot’s author turned out to be one of those people who does the exact opposite of treating their audience like goldfish: They assume the audience knows everything about the canon, and therefore explain none of it. So, suffice to say, that oneshot is going to take me a while. That and my work schedule of eight-hour closing shifts, all the time, everywhere, has seen me absolutely drained of any drive to write anything, so this is me trying to get a spark of life going – because good GOD, I’m fucking bored.

Shades: He’s saying that even with our usual shenanigans going on.

Bifocals: It must truly be bad if not even we can hold his attention.

I’ve just resorted to spraying them with a water bottle, not unlike what I do with a misbehaving Glasses. Repeat offenders get the front yard sprinkler systems, and any further misconduct is boosted to a fire hose. Monocle’s gotten to the point where I need to take a sledgehammer to a fire hydrant.

Anyhow, the riff:

This fic is called, “Valkyrie: The Unknown Unit,” by JewishPotato!

Mazel tov!

*SC smashes a plate on the floor*

Shades: …That’s Greek, mate.

Damn it.

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1834: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored, Chapter 8

Title: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored
Author: MrAwesomeMattyDA
Media: Video Game
Topic: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Adventure/Humor
URL: Chapter Eight
Critiqued by SC, Teh Specs and Book Specs

*Specs wanders into the riffing chamber*

Specs: Sorry I’m late, I overslept. Again. Because for some reason, Booky didn’t whoop my ass awake toda-

*Book Specs turns and adjusts his glasses at Specs*

Specs: …Well, that would explain it.

I’m gonna go ahead and ignore the fact that Booky beating the ever-loving shit out of you is how you keep on schedule.

Specs: I mean, it’s effective, isn’t it?

…So anyhow, while we were waiting for you to get here, Booky was telling me about the one and only time he ever took on an apprentice.

Specs: Oh yeah?

Yeah, it didn’t end well for the apprentice:

Yes, Booky’s apprentice was a Megumin cosplayer. No, I don’t know why.

According to Booky, modern-day magi are fucking useless.

*Book Specs rolls his eyes and adjusts his glasses*

Specs: He says that’s an understatement.

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1812: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored – Chapter Seven

Title: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored
Author: MrAwesomeMattyDA
Media: Video Game
Topic: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Adventure/Humor
URL: Chapter Seven
Critiqued by SC and Teh Specs

Hello, and welcome back to Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored, by MrAwesomeMatty! (Whose name I should probably endeavor to actually write correctly, as I keep forgetting the DA part of his user handle…) I’m your host, SC, joined by Teh Specs, and last time, Tai “fought?” Adecor and Boccos, resulting in grievous bodily harm from to all parties, then the mostly-gathered Brave Vesperia ditched Tai’s ass, shortly before Leblanc showed up to be, well, himself. This proved to be an insult too great to Tai, who flipped a bitch and stormed off after the group, grumbling all the while.

We come now to chapter seven, fittingly titled “Not the greatest of first impressions.”

Specs: These last couple chapter titles have been oddly appropriate.

I know, it’s like Matty was trying to do our job for us.

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1791: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored – Chapter Six, Part Two

Title: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored
Author: MrAwesomeMattyDA
Media: Video Game
Topic: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Adventure/Humor
URL: Chapter Six
Critiqued by SC, Teh Specs and Contacts

I bet you thought I was joking about inviting Contacts, huh?

Specs: I was kinda hoping you were.

Contacts: Am I gonna get my head cut off again?

We’re probably about to run smack-dab into a combat scene, so it’s possible.

Contacts: Right, then I’m out of he-

*The sound of a shotgun pump being jacked stops Contacts dead in his tracks*

Sit your ass down.

Contacts: …Right, then I’m staying right where I am, like a good boy.

That’s better.

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1766: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored – Chapter Six, Part One

Title: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored
Author: MrAwesomeMattyDA
Media: Video Game
Topic: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Adventure/Humor
URL: Chapter Six
Critiqued by SC and Teh Specs

Hello, and welcome back to Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored, by MrAwesomeMatty! I’m your host, SC, joined by Teh Specs, and last time, Yuri and Repede met up with Estelle and Raven, while Tai was sent off to go be broody somewhere where nobody would have to see it. Tai got a weird feeling that Yuri thought he was a bad guy, so he went to try and clear his name, but was then promptly jumped by the Ginyu Force Schwann Brigade’s best and brightest(?), Adecor and Boccos, who had somehow mistaken him for an assassin of Leviathan’s Claw.

This week, we’re jumping into the next chapter, fittingly titled, “It all goes to hell.” And, might I add, it is so nice to be able to get through chapters quickly again.

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