1844: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer – Oneshot

Title: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Author: chipmunkfanantic
Media: Video Game / Television
Topic: Alvin and the Chipmunks / Diablo
Genre: Mystery/Fantasy
URL: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Gonna be in for a bit of a short one today.  I feel like death warmed over, so I decided I needed a little pile of fail rather than a heap.  That’s when I remembered I had something in my stack that fits the bill.

It’s also a hot mess, so this should be fun.  But, what else can you really expect for a Diablo / Alvin and the Chipmunks crossover.

No, you did not read that wrong.  On a better day I’d give infodumps of both those canons, but today is not a better day and, frankly, the canons won’t provide any context to help this thing.

So how hot of a mess is it?  Well…

A story based on the famous first game diablo Grant a general for a war fought by a king soon gives him and his group that has worked along side him for so long to now find out what is going on in a small town called Tristram but of what they find is shocking it will send them to the depths of hell to vanquish it as there will be many twists and turns from the church to Hell R&R

You’ll probably notice right off the bat that sentences aren’t a strong point of this author.

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1843: The Lone Wolf Of The Normandy — Chapter 12

Title: The Lone Wolf of the Normandy
Author: SSJ Lone Wolf
Media: Games
Topic: Halo / Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
URL: Chapter 12
Critiqued by
AdmiralSakai and JLT. Troy Fisher

Hello hello all you patrons! Welcome back to The Lone Wolf Of The Normandy!

Last time fuck-all happened on Mavigon, since Jun was there instead of Six and only the one of them routinely commits war crimes. Jun was kind of an annoying dick to Ashley Williams over lunch, though, and Six is still threatening to kill the whole Normandy crew if they don’t let him do basically whatever he wants.

Oh yeah, and that ‘Blaze’ asshole intercepted a distress call from Shepard’s mom, whose ship got attacked by some stupid number of slavers and is now dead in space. We left off just as he and Jorge were planning to recruit the Covvies who are suddenly now still alive and locked in the corvette’s brig to join the rescue effort, a plan with so many potential points of failure I think even Amy Smythe could figure out not to do it.”

Show and Tell Counter: 54

Amorous Counter: 116

Collateral Douchebag Counter: 32

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1842: Succubus – Chapter Two

Title: Succubus
Author: GypsySiren
Media: Video Games
Topic: Skyrim
Genre: Poorly Written Smut
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by Leider Hosen and Sabre-Captain Kallybre Drygg

!!Warning!! This instalment contains poorly written smut and trivialization of kidnapping. Thankfully the sex is poor as you’d expect, and the latter part doesn’t have too much horribleness. Nonetheless this entry is NSFW

Welcome back Patrons, to another rousing edition of the Badfics! I am your temperamental Guest Host, Leider Hosen. Last time *twitch* by the power of bullshit, Akatosh put Sanguine in charge of picking the next Dragonborn because *twitch* *twitch*

Fuck it, ya’ll know what happened last time. To prevent another meltdown as we enter the hawtsecks proper, I’ve decided to share the load with another of my vast catalogue Anshur minions.

Kallybre: *raises eyebrow* Your minion?

Please give a warm welcome to Capt. Kallybre Drygg, who will be bringing her special expertise to the Riff!

-Hosen gestures to a woman lounging on a cushy silken seat next to him. Despite her old age, she looks not a day over 30, with ashen skin and light brown hair. Her eyes are black orbs with a bright point of light in the center. Her bare forehead has several short spurs, with larger horns on her temples. The light smirk on her lips (Plz no hit, Taco) is bright red with lipstick matching her burgundy “dress”, which is little more than a split-skit with a few sashes wrapping around her back and breasts, which-

Kallybre: Are we starting this or are you going to keep staring?

Maybe I’d be less distracted if you wore your amour.

Kallybre: Nnteguss, and I thought I was wearing my amour.

Freudian slip. Anyway, your experiences happen to be relevant to a lot of what’s going to happen here.

Kallybre: Oh?

Don’t raise your excitement, you’ll just be let down harder.

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1841: Unknown Origins – Prologue, Part Five

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie and Hiraani
Rating: M

Howdy, all! My name’s Angie, and this is Unknown Origins, once again. Let’s get this prologue over with, yeah?

Oh, last time we just hammered in stuff we already knew, and Angie…I mean, Mary went through a bunch of psychiatric tests to make sure she’s still sane.

And now, we venture forward!

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1840: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Five, Part One

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags and Kane)

Shadow Kill count: 5

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and we’re back for more of The Shadow Warriors for some reason!

Kane: Hello.

GAH! When did you get in here?

Kane: I was already here when you arrived. I am now trapped.

As long as you’re not Trapped, I’m fine with it.

Kane: Perhaps we should investigate the author’s note to this… thing?

Right. Just to be clear, you’re not mad about my taking over the riffing duties?

Kane: Doubtful. However, I may need to see about putting our usual heckler back into place before long.

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1839: DEAD SPACE: NUM63R5 – Chapter 2

Title: DEAD SPACE: NUM63R5
Author: Eu Tyto Alba
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Dead Space
Genre: Horror/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the second chapter!

In the last chapter there was a very long Author’s Note/ author tract about how Dead Space would be so much better if you replaced the obsessive cult with Numerology followed by a bit of a tease regarding a doctor named Brunhilde before the fic moved on to dishwasher/savant/thief Marlow. Marlow had just stolen an expensive viola, realized he couldn’t play it, then spooned with it all night and awoke to find everything in his room (including himself) covered in mathematical formulae. The chapter ended with someone breaking down Marlow’s door, either because he stole the viola or because he was walking around looking like a living doodle pad but it isn’t clear which.

On to the fic!

“DEAD SPACE: NUM63R5”

Chapter II

That title just looks so wonky to me.

It all began on Aegis VII, after Isaac Clarke destroyed the first Red Marker but before the Ishimura was salvaged.

Wait a second … What? Why is the fic suddenly bringing up the Ishimura and Isaac?

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1838: Fallout Tetris – Oneshot

Title: Fallout Tetris
Author: Nigel Yearning
Media: Video Game
Topic: Fallout / Tetris
Genre: Drama
URL: Fallout Tetris
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Today I have a very special treat for you, A Fallout x Tetris crossover!  Now don’t get excited, it’s not as crazy as you think.  Personally I was hoping for the adventures of L-block in Fallout: NV or something, but the reality turned out to be far more mundane than expected.  I could get into that, but the summary covers it pretty well:

A Wastelander accidentally finds a game of Tetris after falling down a flight of stairs, she soon takes it and heads over to an nearby town to get it cashed in. Oneshot.

Now, you might notice that the fic is also sporting the coveted “drama” tag.  If you’re wondering how that summary could lead to something dramatic, then you’re not alone.  So strap in while we find the answer to that question.

Spoilers: it doesn’t.

Anyway, on with the show!

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