-Hosen walks into Riffing Chamber 7181B, now designated as his personal Riffing Chamber, as he forgot to remove the Heresy Counter from the desk when he last skedaddled, the eldritch plastic button soaking up the enmity of months of Badfic and welding itself to the desk, subsequently transmogrifying the room and a few adjoining closets into a personal sanctuary. The room is 900% more Goffic than it was before; the desk now made of ebony wood with antiquated brass lamps and fixtures overhead, the evil button proudly adorning the center with quills, inkwells, several arcane scrolls, and various odds and ends uniformly arranged on either side.
An old-timey Super 8mm projector hums from a loft near the ceiling as it inexplicably plays classic movies on a loop without human intervention. It casts flickering glows across memorabilia of the likes of Ed Wood, Robot Monster, and Monty Python on the walls, and the blue, gold, and black theater carpet-
Well this place is right fucked. Hello patrons! It’s me, Leider Hosen! Here with the very belated Skyrim Fic riff I teased in the yesteryears of six months ago!
Contain your non-existent excitement por favor.
Heresy Counter: [I am a cat… meow]
…Ok. Speaking of, yes I’m aware one of our intrepid interns, Tim, attempted to pry the Heresy Counter from its rest without proper protection and was cast into the 49th Circle of Super Hell, where all the Badfic characters go when their fic dies. I also know he’s stuck in a five way between Buster, Harker, Jenna, The Goblin King, and Edward-117, and only legolas and his gards have come to assist him.
At Hosen Inc, safety is number one priority. I just placed an order for someone to destroy them all the demons and got a hit within 30 seconds. For free!