2374: SUECOM: Mirror Image – Chapter 1, Part 3

Minh Header 07 13 2019

Title: XSGCOM Mirror Image
Author: Hotpoint
Topic: X-COM: UFO Defence/Stargate SG1
Media: Video game/TV show
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Crazy Minh

Hello Patrons, and welcome back to another instalment of ‘XSGCOM: Mirror Image’ the Stargate/X-COM fanfic which has pissed me off twice now! I’m your guest riffer, Crazy Minh, and today we’re going to take a gander at the third part of the first chapter of this nonsense! Now for a recap!

Previously on XSGCOM: Mirror Image…




GEORGE S. (for Sue) HAMMOND: Imma going to betray one of my closest friends cause the Sue!Pentagon told me to! It’s not like I’ve disobeyed them before, right? Like that time I personally went to Chulak to raise a army to save SG1 from Hathor!

O’NEILL: Well that’s OK, sir. I know we’re in a badfic anyway! Or something…why are we discussing this without Teal’c here anyway? Shouldn’t he get a say in whether or not he gets cut up by xenophobic morons or not, sir?

GEORGE S. (for Sue) HAMMOND: Of course not! We’re not going to do the honourable thing anyway! This is a den of thieves! Thieves I say!

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2357: Battlestar Highschoolia – Oneshot (ACCIDENTAL DOUBLE-POST SATURDAY!)

Minh Header 06 15 2019

Title: Battlestar Highschoolia
Author: Lord Drash
Media: TV show
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Genre: Humour/Parody
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6567586
Critiqued By: Crazy Minh

Hello everyone, and welcome to a special interlude! Yes, last time I did make out that my next riff would be the third part of the XSGCOM: Mirror Image riff; but then I found this, and everything changed…wow, that was REALLY overdramatic.

Anyway, there hasn’t been a ‘Battlestar Galactica’ riff before (well, unless you count fanart), so let’s add some frakking background! Battlestar Galactica is a 1978 TV…woah, hang on!

*scribbles out background we don’t need*

Sorry, I was about to go on about the ORIGINAL Battlestar Galactica; which was 10% cheesy 70’s style; and 90% trying to ride off the success of Star Wars. Anyway, that show was successful enough to garner a significant fanbase. Unfortunately, it didn’t get a revival till one fan, the brilliant Ronald D. Moore (the guy behind some of the best episodes of ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’, as well as a writer who’s worked on a wide range of sci-fi franchises), decided to reincarnate the show in the early 2000’s. And thus, we were given the 2004-05 TV show, Battlestar Galactica.

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1993: Smurfed Out – Chapters 1 & 2


Title: Smurfed Out
Author: Nigel Yearning
Media: TV Show
Topic: Smurfs
Genre: Romance/Humor
URL: Chapter 1
URL:  Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat








Hello once again, my dear Patrons.

I was sorting through my pile and decided to dust off a fic from an author who brought us the most … “unique” zombie outbreak I’ve ever seen – it’s the one in which the zombie contagion was caused by an infectious explosion. This particular author has written numerous Smurfs fics that all star the same protagonist, an OC green Smurf Stu called Chernov who does all manner of implausible badassery. I assume this fic will follow the same pattern.

Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

An OC smurfette thought her boyfriend wasn’t satisfied with sex, so she decided to use a commodity offered by Papa Smurf to fix the problem.

Huh. Maybe Chernov isn’t in this one and there’s going to be a female OC instead. Unless the boyfriend is Chernov. That also seems likely.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else

Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters

Right. I forgot the author includes these … things in front of every chapter.

It had been nearly two years, two years of an relationship that had been somewhat either successful or disastrous.

Thanks for that description that could apply to literally any relationship ever.

Long ago, the smurfs had met their sub-species of smurfs.


First it was the leader named Chernov Reznov, a 10 centimeter tall grass green smurf that wore camouflage and a head of brown hair.

Dammit. Chernov is in the fic. But why is he wearing a head of brown hair? Is he a headhunter and that’s one of his trophies?

Very lean, intelligent, ignorant, and most of all, one who prefers to be left alone.

Y’know, ignorance really isn’t a quality people look for in a leader. Well, unless you live in America. It seems like we can’t get enough of some dumbasses.

His half brothers and sisters, grass green smurfs and smurfettes, were more sociable and were more smurf-like.

Wait, the other green Smurfs are only his half-siblings? That doesn’t really jibe with what I know of Smurf procreation (once every blue moon a stork brings a new Smurf) but I guess these are going to be “special” Smurfs.

However, all green smurfs were more human in behavior than smurf.

So they’re all opinionated assholes?

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1988: Danny Fenton, the Ultimasaurus – Chapters 1-3


Title: Danny Fenton, the Ultimasaurus
Author: SaurusRock625
Media: Movie/TV Show
Topic: Jurassic Park/Jurassic World/Danny Phantom
Genre: Sci-Fi/Romance
URL: Chapter 1
URL:  Chapter 2
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Ghostcat





Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another odd little offering from my crossover pile. Now, you may be asking yourself “What does a show about a crime-fighting ghost boy have to do with genetically engineered dinosaurs?”

To answer that hypothetical question, let us take a look at the summary.

What if instead of Danny getting ectoplasm merged with his DNA, it was dino DNA? Will he become a guardian? Or a menace to all life on Earth?

That didn’t really answer the question. Also, it would seem that making dinosaur-human hybrids seems to be a very popular theme in the Jurassic Park fandom.

The chapter starts off with an Author’s Note that is in bold, italics, and underlined.

This story idea came to me after seeing the trailer to Jurassic World, and after having just recently watched a portion of Jurassic Park.

So the author’s sum total of information about the Jurassic Park world and canon comes from one trailer and a bit of the first movie?

This should be interesting.

What if Danny didn’t get ghost powers, but instead ended up getting assorted Dinosaur DNA combined with his own?

I don’t really know how that would happen since his parents’ research is solely ghost-based, but maybe in this AU they are … Trying to open a portal into the Dinosaur Zone instead of the Ghost Zone? I don’t know.

This in turn would grant him the powers, and abilities of the most incredible creatures to ever walk the Earth!

…We are still talking about dinosaurs and not magical wish-granting leprechauns, right?

But these gifts would not come without some form of consequence. What is this consequence you may be asking? Read on, and find out!

Well, based on my knowledge of dinosaurs, most of their “abilities” and “powers” were physical properties that they possessed – the t. rex’s massive jaws, or stegosaurus’ impressive bony plates. Either Danny is going to be a crazy quilt of physical attributes, or he will have the ability to shape-shift between different species.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Danny Phantom, or Jurassic Park/Jurassic World!

Yeah, no kidding.

Italics = Thinking

Italic Underlined = Songs

Bold = Yelling

Hey, look; a formatting key! I haven’t seen one of those in a while.

Wait a second … Songs?!?

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1929: Secrets Revealed – Chapter 8 & Epilogue

Title: Secrets Revealed
Author: River Styx1201
Media: TV Show
Topic: Danny Phantom
Genre: Friendship/Romance
URL: Chapter 9
URL: Chapter 10
Critiqued by: Ghostcat





Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the final installment of Secrets Reveled! All the secrets were revealed ages ago, with little to no repercussions, but the fic keeps meandering along so whatever.

In the last chapter, Isis Sue and Danny got detention but blew it off when Papa Sue was attacked by a group of dark angels at home. They raced to help, while calling reinforcements, and quickly won the fight. While cleaning up the shattered remains of a television, Isis Sue lightly touched a piece of glass and her hand, like, exploded in a bloody mess so Danny decided to give her first aid. When Papa Sue saw Danny innocently patching up his bleeding daughter, he decided to force-choke Danny and slam him against a wall. Isis Sue talked her father into letting Danny go and then everyone went back to cleaning up like this psychopath didn’t just try to murder their friend.

Onward to the fic!

A/N: Finally figured out how I want to end this. Sorry for the long wait and thanks for all the encouragement and support.

Honestly, I’m surprised the fic didn’t just fizzle out and get abandoned. That’s usually the case with this type of fics.

Isis smiled as she exited her car and saw Danny, Sam and Tucker approaching her. “Hey guys,” she said as she stuck her keys in her bag.

Greetings, fellow humans! How are you faring this time-part?

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1923: Secrets Revealed – Chapter 7


Title: Secrets Revealed
Author: River Styx1201
Media: TV Show
Topic: Danny Phantom
Genre: Friendship/Romance
URL: Chapter 8
Critiqued by Ghostcat



Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the second-to-last installment of Secrets Revealed That’s right, just one more of these to go after this!

But first we have to get through this chapter. Hoo-ray.

Nothing very important happened in the last chapter, just a little more background into why Amethyst went all cray-cray. (Amethyst and Papa Sue’s families arranged a marriage between the two of them because they were such good friends but Papa Sue hooked up with Mama Sue instead and Ameythyst took it about as well as one of those tryhard mansplainers who bitch on social media about how treating a woman with basic human decency should entitle them to unlimited sex.)

A/N- Sorry for the wait. High school is a drag and I have been swamped with homework and orchestra UIL rehearsals. *sigh* Well, here’s chapter seven. Hope you enjoy and please review.

Oh, honey. I know high school feels like the worst thing ever at times, but things can get so, so much worse than that.

Chapter 7

Two Weeks Later

Isis Sue woke up from a coma to discover that she missed a zombie apocalypse?

Danny’s POV


I really need to screen these fics better.

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1918: Secrets Revealed – Chapter 6

Title: Secrets Revealed
Author: River Styx1201
Media: TV Show
Topic: Danny Phantom
Genre: Friendship/Romance
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by Ghostcat



Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another chapter of Secrets Revealed! The secrets have already been revealed, namely that Isis Sue is an angel with lots of very useful superpowers that she never uses even after being kidnapped and tortured for three days. Isis Sue was rescued (and quite quickly once Papa Sue actually did something) and the ‘evil’ dark angel Amethyst – who turned out to be a jealous ex-girlfriend – was beheaded by Papa Sue.

That’s one way to deal with a crazy stalker ex.

Most of what little plot there was seems to have been resolved, but there’s still a few chapters to go. Yay. And now, on to the fic!

A/N-Just a filler chapter and to clarify some details about why Amethyst felt justified for her actions.

:rubs forehead:

It really aggravates me when I see stuff like “Oh, this is just a filler chapter” because the author is essentially saying that this chapter has no meaning and is just taking up space. If a chapter – or a paragraph, or a character, or even a sentence – serves no purpose then it DOES NOT BELONG. Ninety percent of editing is cutting shit like this out of a work.

And what was wrong with Amethyst’s motivation? She was a scorned ex, which is one of the oldest forms of motivation in the world. It’s clichéd as hell, but it really doesn’t need any elaboration.

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