Author: A now-forgotten servant of Morgoth the Defiler
Topic: Lord of the Rings
URL: Part One
Critiqued by KittyNoodles
The world is changed.
I feel it in my heart. I hear it in my mind. I see it in my reflection. Much that once was is lost, for nothing now remains within me that is not forever marred by the horrors I have witnessed.
A Shadow has come to the Library — a dark, rancid monstrosity that oozes into the mind and burrows into the heart, there to fester and rot away for all of time. It is a shadow that has haunted all of us here who knew before of its presence, lingering, lurking in the darkest corners of our minds like a storm upon the far horizon. Now it has found us and come to us upon my shoulders.
Patrons. Librarians. Guests. Friends. Acquaintances both good and not so good: You should not have come here.
Hello, everyone! SC is taking the day off because [blue]. Please enjoy this bit of fanart instead. It’s called “S.S.D.D.” which the artist, Mr-Donkeygoat says means “same shit, different dimension.” It’s a cross-over piece of Ghostbusters and Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles. While the concept is a bit wtf, the art is fantastic. In fact, go browse this guy’s gallery. He’s super-talented.
He’s got a shinier, updated version of this, but I really like the gritty nature this picture portrays.
Hello, dear Patrons!
It’s that magical time again – the last chapter of a fic!
:spins around in chair:
But I still have to get through the last chapter. Bugger all.
So what happened last time? There was that odd confrontation between Kyo-Sue and Random Angry Girl where Kyo-Sue felt she needed to deliver a preemptive verbal smackdown as well as info-dumping some of her family status into the narration. Afterwards, Kyo-Sue stood in front of her class a recited a poem, which is allegedly an impressive feat, and then Kyo-Sue and Lena went to the music room where the Host Club meets so that Lena can return Usa-chan to Huni-senpai.
Onward, brave Patrons!
“Welcome Princess” The host club coursed as myself and Lena walked into the room.
The grammar continues getting worse and worse. How is this happening?
I shook my head in a great disgust, while Lena smiled widely.
Let me guess; Kyo-Sue is far too mature to fall for their compliments but Lena is a dumbass kid who is easily suckered by a pretty face?
They were dressed up as pirates; I mumbled something along the lines of idiot.
Pot, this is kettle. Kettle, pot.
“Ah what a lovely princesses they are, what is the name that belongs longs to such a beautiful maiden.” Tamaki said as he kissed my hand.
:snorts: If the host business doesn’t pan out, Tamaki-senpai would have a promising future as a manure salesman.
Media: Video Game
Topic: Beyond: Two Souls
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck
Hello, folks, and welcome to our second oneshot week on break from Fire Emblem: ReAwaken. This time, we’re going to depart from Destiny, and actually just do another oneshot. This oneshot?
This is a Beyond: Two Souls oneshot! And unlike the previous oneshot, it (ostensibly) has more to do with the source material! Or does it?
Well… let’s find out, shall we?
Heyo, patrons! Welcome to another Wednesday where I’ll be serving up some hot one-shot action! This week we have a little fic that’s actually two fics, that is also one fic, while being two fics.
Let me unpack that for you.
Originally this fic was posted as two separate one-shots, with the second being a “part two” of the first. A one-shot sequel as it were. Later, for whatever reason, the author decided to just tack on the second part as a chapter to the original fic, without also going back and deleting the stand-alone version of it. What is even weirder is that the first part dates back to 2003, the second part was written in May 2014, but they weren’t combined until May 2015. And, given that there is no evidence of any editing having occurred to either part, I have no idea why that timeline is a thing.
The thing I’m really surprised at, though, is despite the 11 year difference, there is no apparent improvement in the writing. In fact, if anything the second chapter is significantly worse.
Now, before we dive in and tear this thing apart, let me be clear on something. The author, according to herself, was 18 when she wrote the first chapter and 29 when she wrote the second. Keep that in mind.
So, for those wondering, the canon on the table today is The Real Ghostbusters which was a long-running cartoon series based on the movie. It was very much a monster-of-the-week show in the 80’s style where there’s little in the way of plot continuity between episodes for the first few seasons, but toward the end got more plot based as the intended audience aged. It’s one of those shows I grew up with that I have very fond memories of, but honestly hasn’t suffered the passage of time as well as it could have. Compared to more timeless cartoons such as Duck Tales, Animaniacs, and Batman the Animated Series, The Real Ghostbusters utilizes much younger humor, occasionally crutches on outdated pop-culture references, has more than a little corny dialogue, features a cast of cliché characters, and overall presents a package that, at times, talks down to the audience. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a good show with a lot going for it despite it’s flaws, and it’s definitely better than things like Spongebob, Captain Planet, or Sonic Underground. But, after 30 years, it shows its age more than some of the other classics of the same era.
I’m hoping I don’t have to hit on what the premise of the show is given that it’s in the title, not to mention based on a movie that most of you have probably seen. I’m going to touch on it anyway, but I’m hoping it’s not necessary. The show is pretty simple: four dudes, Ray, Egon, Venkmen, and Winston, run a business hunting down and trapping ghosts to get them out of people’s hair. Sometimes literally. They have a little ghost pal named Slimer (based extremely loosely on the same ghost from the movie) that serves as the non-verbal comic relief character. There’s also Janine, their snarky secretary. SHe, frankly, is probably the best character in the show and really needed to get more screen time in the earlier episodes before her character got radically redesigned in season three that made her far less interesting. Okay, yeah, I’m a bit of a Janine fanboy.
Now the canon here is pretty unimportant for the fic we’re about to read except one thing: Janine has a big thing for Egon. It’s one of the recurring themes in the show which eventually culminates in them getting into a relationship in the later seasons. It’s also a theme that carries over into the Extreme Ghostbusters (the more modern remake) where Janine and Egon get back together just as Egon is reforming the Ghostbusters with a younger crew. Keep in mind, this romantic tension is pretty constant throughout the entire series.
Title: My Little Unicorn: Magic Is Believing
Author: Dakari-King Mykan
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Erttheking
Ert: Christ this story looks like it’s going to be a long one. I guess this guy honestly thought he could write a whole season’s worth of story. Problem is that each chapter would result in a pathetically short episode. And that’s without getting into how poor the quality is. But whatever, saying that something on the Library of the Damned sucks is like saying different political parties don’t get along, stating the bloody obvious. Let’s get into WHY it sucks.
It’s raining evil’s pouring
Ert: *Sigh* Gonna be one of those days huh?
Today it was raining in Unicornicopia. It was a nice calm and cheerful rain the Grand Ruler had conjured to give everything a nice wash down and water the fields and trees. He wouldn’t stop the shower for anything, not until it was properly time to do so.
Nora: In FiM the weather was something that fell into Pegasus territory, because they could walk on and manipulate clouds. Celestia raised the sun, and her sister Luna raised the moon. Now it’s just “Grand Ruler does everything because he’s awesome.” Because why spread things out? It makes it look like you put EFFORT into your work.
Lyle’s off doing Lyle-ish things, so we’re having a bit of fanart today! And it is proof positive that there is no such thing as a crossover that’s too weird.
Click through if you’d like to see Beethoven holding a calculator.