1315: Tomorrow Is Always Better Rewrite – Chapter 4

Title: Tomorrow Is Always Better Rewrite
Author: LaRae and Ninjas Incorporated
Media: Anime/Manga
Topic: Ouran High School Host Club
Genre:  none given
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

Hello, dear Patrons!

It’s that magical time again – the last chapter of a fic!

:spins around in chair:

WHEEE!!!

But I still have to get through the last chapter. Bugger all.

So what happened last time? There was that odd confrontation between Kyo-Sue and Random Angry Girl where Kyo-Sue felt she needed to deliver a preemptive verbal smackdown as well as info-dumping some of her family status into the narration. Afterwards, Kyo-Sue stood in front of her class a recited a poem, which is allegedly an impressive feat, and then Kyo-Sue and Lena went to the music room where the Host Club meets so that Lena can return Usa-chan to Huni-senpai.

Onward, brave Patrons!

“Welcome Princess” The host club coursed as myself and Lena walked into the room.

:eye-twitch:

The grammar continues getting worse and worse. How is this happening?

I shook my head in a great disgust, while Lena smiled widely.

Let me guess; Kyo-Sue is far too mature to fall for their compliments but Lena is a dumbass kid who is easily suckered by a pretty face?

They were dressed up as pirates; I mumbled something along the lines of idiot.

Pot, this is kettle. Kettle, pot.

“Ah what a lovely princesses they are, what is the name that belongs longs to such a beautiful maiden.” Tamaki said as he kissed my hand.

:snorts: If the host business doesn’t pan out, Tamaki-senpai would have a promising future as a manure salesman.

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