2494: Task Force Ash – Chapter Three

Title: Task Force Ash
Author: Ghost509
Media: Video Games
Topic: Pokémon and Call of Duty
Genre: Adventure / Romance
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Zeus Killer, Thomas Svarti, Judger, and Pvt. James Ramirez

WARNING: This chapter contains some examples of the author writing unrealistically in regards to how drunk people and sex incidents occur. Get the brain bleach ready.

*Holo-recording shows up*

Zeus: Okay, we’re back with Task Force Ash, which is fast becoming a Sue Story. Especially because he’s a Major after 4 years, which I highly doubt is how military ranks go.

Judger: When we last left our intrepid heroes, they barely had any character development despite aging, and then Ash shows up and basically proves he’s the best by curb-stomping a Swellow with a Charizard. One with at least 20 bullet holes per wing.

Ramirez: And to top all that off, the 141 are under Ash’s command for some reason, and they help break up a scuffle between the justifiably pissed Lt. Surge and Ash.

Zeus: And now the author states that a bunch of Ash’s friends are gonna show up. Gee, I wonder why?

Read the rest of this entry »


2480: Task Force Ash – Chapters One and Two

Title: Task Force Ash
Author: Ghost509
Media: Video Games
Topic: Pokémon and Call of Duty
Genre: Adventure / Romance
URL: Chapter One and Chapter 2
Critiqued by Zeus Killer, (Ret) Diplomatic Officer Thomas Svarti, KJLA Agent Thomas “Judger” Kernse, Private James “DO EVERYTHING” Ramirez

*holo projector boots up*

Zeus:-and THATs why Nimitz is trying to find a copy of the King James Necronomicon in this ship.

Svarti: I have no idea what you’re talking about, but yes. To everything. Now, you said something about experts coming in?

Zeus: Oh yeah. Today, we (finally) start tackling Task Force Ash, a CoD/Pokemon crossover. Unfortunately, while Svarti is a diplomat and involved in Galactic History, Martinov is just a very capable solder, so I’ve had to call in experts. Again.

*A guy in a stereotypical Spy outfit from a 50’s film walks in*

Zeus: This is Judger, short for Judgement. He’s going to be our Pokémon expert…sort of.

Judger: What do you mean?

Zeus: It’s an anime fic.

Judger: Ah. Not my area of experience, but I’ll try my best.

Svarti: Who’s the other one?

*Russian Guy with an RPD stands at the far end…and is carrying the real guy, a very familiar US Ranger*

Zeus: It’s Ramirez. He’s gonna be our CoD expert for this fic. He can literally do anything.

*Ramirez salutes, and unstraps himself from Captain Petrenko*

Zeus: At ease.

So the fic starts with Ash losing to Virgil, and a quick Google search reveals that he was involved in the Sun and Moon tournaments. Though considering Virgil is moving up, it’s already an AU.

Judger: So what happened canonically speaking?

Zeus: Ash faces an opponent’s Mega Charazard with an Ash-Greninja, and lost. Cue fandom losing thier shit.

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2166: CoD: Black Hell Ops and Binary DNA — Crappy Pasta

–WARNING–
While today’s pasta is (surprise surprise) not in the least bit scary, it does include potential political flamebait in the form of discussion of American military activities in general and the nuclear strike on Hiroshima in particular.

Yes, really.

Title: CoD: Black Hell Ops
Author: Who knows, who cares?
Media: Video Game
Topic: Call of Duty
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Dramatic Reading and Giant Wad Of Deleted Pages Including The Pasta

Title: Binary DNA
Author: Black goes gray
Media: Web Original
Topic: Creepypasta
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Binary DNA

Hello hello all you patrons! Keep a detailed count of the students in your agronomics class and make sure not to let any incendiary spiders get near the gasoline you picked up from the grocery store, because it’s time once again for

spoop4

 

 

 

 

 

“Today, in case the title didn’t already clue you in… yep, there really is such a thing as Call of Duty creepypasta. Your species’ appetite for depravity really is just that great.”

There’s not really much I can say about the concept of Call of Duty creepypasta to make it any more simultaneously hilarious and depressing than it already is, so let’s just dive right in.

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547: Call of evil part 2 death in heaven – Chapter Three

Title: Call of evil part 2 death in heaven
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

And here we are, patrons, the motherland.  The very last chapter of ID/JD25’s Call of Duty: Suck series.  There will be a celebration in the lobby after the riff.  Free open gargleblaster bar, key-lime pie fountain, and head-desking pillows as door prizes.  It’s gonna be great!

Oh, and I guess Crunchy is gonna be handing out lightsabers or something.

Chapter 3 hell unleashed

Oh this better not be a chapter devoted to softcore porn. Read the rest of this entry »


543: Call of evil part 2 death in heaven – Chapters One and Two

Title: Call of evil part 2 death in heaven
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back, dear patrons, to the expansion pack of fic 3 in ID and JD25’s stirring Call of Duty series.

Luckily, this last bit of fic is extremely short, so we’ll be done with the whole series by next week; that’s why I’m just tacking it on as an extension of the third fic rather than resetting all the counters and such. Read the rest of this entry »


539: Call of evil life in hell – Chapter Eight

Title: Call of evil life in hell
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Well, dear patrons, thanks to a joint effort between the Library Ninjas, Time Cops, and the DRD’s SDQF Special Forces Unit, I have returned to finish this fic off.  Yup, that’s right, Chapter Eight is the last chapter!  And then there’s another fic yet to do.

*Chains Rattle*

The joint forces also chained me to this chair and have lined up a suitable punishment for me that will start after I finish ID’s CoD series.

*Chains Rattle*

This is going to make using the restroom kinda hard. Read the rest of this entry »


535: Call of evil life in hell – Chapters Six and Seven

Title: Call of evil life in hell
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic Darth Crunchy

For the time being, Taco is still at large somewhere in time.  I have been told by our ninjas that they have joined a collaborative effort with the Time Police and the DRD’s SDQF Special Forces Unit to catch him.  Apparently he went back in time and created the slogan: “Nobody Doesn’t Like Sara Lee” or some such nonsense.

So it falls to me, Darth Crunchy, to continue in his stead.  As I am still new around here, you’ll find I have extended an olive branch to all of you readers.  After we’re done in here, you can join me in the lobby for free donuts and light refreshments.  Those who pledge to join the Dark Side will also receive a complimentary pass that can be used for free drinks from the bar. Read the rest of this entry »