1697: Master of the Universe – Chapter One

Title: Master of the Universe
Author: E.L. James
Media: Books
Topic: Twilight
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: https://ohfifty.com/downloads/MOTU_w_Outtakes_Snowqueens_Icedragon_COMPLETE.pdf
Critiqued by Angie and Lyle

*covers face* I don’t know how to defend this one, guys. I really don’t.

Lyle: *walks in with a giant bag of gummy worms*  What’s this you’ve found? *reads intro stats* E. L. James….  Why does that sound familiar….

She’s the…she wrote that super bad BDSM trilogy ‘Fifty Shades’. It’s also that movie, with like…Dakota Something and Jamie Whatsisface.

Lyle:  Oh. Her. I didn’t realize she wrote more than that.

Actually, she really didn’t. It’s the exact same story, it’s just a Twilight fic instead of something original. It’s the exact same thing as Fifty Shades, word per word basically, just with changed names.

Lyle: *looks at the bag of gummy worms and then hands them to Angie*  I’m going to need something stronger than this.   You go ahead and get started.  I’ll be back in a minute.

Oh no, Lyle. I’ve got alcohol right here. *opens cabinet built into desk* But if you must, I’ll get a head start.

Lyle: I was thinking coffee but that works, too. *grabs a bottle of wine from the cabinet, pops the cork, and takes a swig right from it.*

Well, guess there’s no use fighting it anymore. Let’s dive into the “fan fiction”, Master of the Universe.

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1473: Twitanic – Oneshot

Title: Twitanic
Author: WonderfullyMade
Media: Film/Book
Topic: Titanic/Twilight
Genre: Tragedy/Romance
URL:  Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

I was browsing through my pile-o-fail the other day and thought to myself; “You know what I haven’t looked for recently? Twitanic fics!”

Because sometimes my brain really, really hates me and wants me to suffer. So why should I suffer alone?

For those of you who are newcomers in the Library, “Twitanic” is a name that numerous fanfic authors have given fics that blend together that town bicycle of fics, The Twilight Saga, with the 1997 film Titanic. This one is the fourth such fic I have worked on. The fics are completely unrelated, yet the exact same title keeps popping up. ‘Tis passing strange, it is.

This particular Twitanic is quite short in comparison to all of the others I’ve worked on, just a quick little oneshot to slake my thirst for this strange little side-fandom and give me a chance to wear my History Nerd hat. Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

Edward and Bella catch a ride on the Romantic Titanic for a Honeymoon right after the wedding in Breaking Dawn. They have a wonderful time till disaster strikes! Can Edward save Bella from the freezing Atlantic Ocean? Please R&R!

I don’t care if you tack “romantic” on to the name, if you call your cruise ship “Titanic” then you are just poking the hornets’ nest of fate with a sharp stick made of your own hubris. Unless this is the original Titanic, in which case – Wow. You aren’t do a very good job establishing the setting or time period, since the wreck and the wedding take place decades apart from each other and you’ve done nothing to link them together.

On to the fic!

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1101: FaCe ThE StRaNgE – Chapters Eleven and Twelve

 

Title: FaCe ThE StRaNgE
Author: Dallas Philpott (A.K.A. Dally)
Media:  Books/Movies/Anime/Video Games/Comics
Topic: Harry Potter/Twilight/Yu-Yu Hakusho/Sonic the Hedgehog/X-Men/Naruto/Legend of Zelda/Maury
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: FaCe ThE StRaNgE: Chapter 11
URL: FaCe ThE StRaNgE: Chapter 12
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to more of this piece of shit fanfic.

*grumble*

Yeah, I’m not looking forward to see what other pieces of WTF craziness happen in this fic. It’s just… wow. This fucking fic.

*sigh*

Anyway, let’s not delay any further, yeah?

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1094: FaCe ThE StRaNgE – Chapters Nine and Ten

Title: FaCe ThE StRaNgE
Author: Dallas Philpott (A.K.A. Dally)
Media:  Books/Movies/Anime/Video Games/Comics
Topic: Harry Potter/Twilight/Yu-Yu Hakusho/Sonic the Hedgehog/X-Men/Naruto/Legend of Zelda
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: FaCe ThE StRaNgE: Chapter 9
URL: FaCe ThE StRaNgE: Chapter 10
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello once again, ladies and gents, and welcome back for more of the massive WTF fest that is FaCe ThE StRaNgE.

At this point, do I even need to go on these long-winded introductions?

But at this point? Fuck it. I think it’s time we started doing double-duty on installments. So yeah: fron here on out, I’m going to snark FaCe ThE StRaNgE as two chapters per installment. So yeah.

On with the story!

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1087: FaCe ThE StRaNgE – Chapters Seven and Eight

Title: FaCe ThE StRaNgE
Author: Dallas Philpott (A.K.A. Dally)
Media:  Books/Movies/Anime/Video Games/Comics
Topic: Harry Potter/Twilight/Yu-Yu Hakusho/Sonic the Hedgehog/X-Men/Naruto/Legend of Zelda/Maury
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: FaCe ThE StRaNgE: Chapter 7
URL: FaCe ThE StRaNgE: Chapter 8
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hey ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back for more FaCe ThE StRaNgE.

*shudder*

So who else is willing to bet this shit fanfic is only gonna get more offensive as we go? Anyone?

Oh, all the hands are up, huh? Right, that about cements it.

*shudder*

Let’s just get going.

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1080: FaCe ThE StRaNgE – Chapter Six

Title: FaCe ThE StRaNgE
Author: Dallas Philpott (A.K.A. Dally)
Media:  Books/Movies/Anime/Video Games/Comics
Topic: Harry Potter/Twilight/Yu-Yu Hakusho/Sonic the Hedgehog/X-Men/Naruto/Legend of Zelda
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: FaCe ThE StRaNgE: Chapter 6
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello ladies and gents, and welcome back to more FaCe ThE StRaNgE. Well, ladies and gents, I don’t think I really have to tell you that it’s only gonna go downhill from here. And me personally, I’m not really looking forward to it. This is seriously gonna suck.

*le sigh*

Why do I have a horrible feeling about this?

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1073: FaCe ThE StRaNgE – Chapter Five

Title: FaCe ThE StRaNgE
Author: Dallas Philpott (A.K.A. Dally)
Media:  Books/Movies/Anime/Video Games/Comics
Topic: Harry Potter/Twilight/Yu-Yu Hakusho/Sonic the Hedgehog/X-Men/Naruto/Legend of Zelda
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: FaCe ThE StRaNgE: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hey guys, and welcome back to more FaCe ThE StRaNgE!

Well, patrons, from now on, we’re going to go ahead and erect a calming pie stand out in the hallway. Trust me, I’m gonna need all the calming pies in the world.

So come one, come all, to the only way Herr might possibly stay sane throughout this snarking.

And let’s move on.

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