2140: Realm of the New Gods – Chapter Thirteen

Title: Realm of the New Gods
Author:  Thatoneselfinsertguy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Bad Shonen anime
URL: Chapter 13
Critiqued by Zues Killer Productions

Realm of the New Gods riff part 6-We’ve reached just below the tip of the Iceburg.

Uggh…wow, that happened. Can’t believe someone wrote a trollfic in which Garfield takes Shepherd’s place in Mass Effect.

For those wondering what the hell happened last time, Emm dies, Jean attempts to kill Gangrel, and Chrom recruits Jean to the Shephe-and there goes my brain now.

*pops cork onto ear*

Hopefully, Flavia can save this part, lest I go mad due to the sheer stupidity here.

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2115: Realm of the New Gods – Chapters Eleven and Twelve

Title: Realm of the New Gods
Author:  Thatoneselfinsertguy

Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Self-Insert
URL:  Chapter 11
Critiqued by Zues KIller Productions

Kept ya waiting huh?

Realm of the New Gods riff part 5-You ever feel like writing shitty romances based solely on how hawt someone is?

So yeah…after an impromptu hiatus due to online homework for a semester, and me being bad at math, I’ve finally gotten back towards writing this riff. However, it has been a while, and some people might not have seen it. So, here’s the abridged version of events thus far:

Noah is the protagonist, who’s backstory is that his family gets into a tragic car crash so over the top, that the story of “If I Stay” somehow has a more realistic outcome, handholding bridging the gap of the underworld included. After some time passes, he manages to get into an edgelord’s fanfic that’s supposed to be a combination of Asleep and Decruited, two other fanfics in Fire Emblem Awakening fandom.

Noah, despite being a thief, and acting like a sociopath, has the story make him supposedly more sympathetic than several other people, including but not limited to, Frederick (who admits that Noah is better than him in-story despite the fact that he has no real evidence for it), Muriel (who’s compared to a high-functioning sociopath despite fanon stating that she might be autistic), and Gaius (who somehow turned from a comedically addicted sugar rusher to a womanizer)…and that’s not going into his alternate, who’s an Awesome Mcevil in his own right.

Noah was so unsubtle at being a Self-Insert Gary Stu, he earned a position in the Library’s poll for “Most blatant Gary Stu.” This is despite the last part ending on chapter 10.

Of 55.

When we last left off, he had just promoted into a hybrid of the Trickster and Assassin class that I dubbed “The Edgelord Class” and picked up a matching cape almost two minutes after. We then find that Edgy!Olivia is who he’s trying to bang…which is fucking stupid because who wants to read about an edgy Gary Stu getting shacked up with the Edgy!Olivia from Decruited (which was a comedic fanfic btw). Now they’re all supposed to get towards Chapter 8.

How’s that going?

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2074: Realm of the New God – Chapters 8-10

Title: Realm of the New God
Author: ThatoneSelfInsertGuy
Media: Video Game
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Self Insert
URL: Chapters 8, 9, and 10
Critiqued by Zues Killer Productions

Realm of the New God riff part 4-how to make pregnancy edgy

Welcome back to the Realm of the New God riff. Last time, we read about Noah, our main character, experiencing a wired crisis of sorts after a vastly over inflated Medieval Army gets hosed down, and then thrilled in wonder as Frederick Ricken and Donnel, along with a guard, ultimately die so that the main character can get edgy.

Also, Lissa is revealed to be pregnant with Frederick’s child. Now normally, this would mean I skip most of the chapter. But since this is something that’s kind of important, as a royal heir may be in the making, I’m going to guess this becomes important.

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2061: Realm of the New God Chapters 4-7

Title: Realm of the New God
Author: ThatoneSelfInsertGuy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Self Insert
URL: Chapters 4, 5, 6, & 7

Part 3-Plagiarizing 101

Welcome back to the somewhat occasional ramblings of some random guy on the internet talking about a fanfic that’s mostly a very blatant excuse of being an edgelord. I know it’s been a while, so why not do a recap of what’s been going on so far (which is definitely not an excuse to put in the chapters I forgot to put in the last riff).

Our resident edgelord protagonist, Noah, was driving his family from Georgia to Texas, and accidentally got in front of a drunk who was going 100mph. The resulting T-Bone has his family and the other guy dead, and Noah only has a concussion at best.

With his family dead, he somehow ends up in a version of Fire Emblem: Awakening that takes two different fanfics and mixes them up. Rather than use his meta knowledge to do something, Noah just goes with the flow, and indebtedly injures himself fighting Reina at the Ferox-Ylisse border…as a thief…by literally having a Javelin goes through his fucking leg (how he’s still in the army is beyond me).

From there, he hits it off surprisingly well with Olivia, even if the only reason these two want to get together is ostensibly because physical attraction is equivalent to true love. As Noah goes back, Donnel joins with Mozu’s backstory poorly crowbarred into his characterization, along with a Killer Lance (oh yeah, kind of forgot about that).

Naturally, we leave back where we were with Maribelle being kidnapped, and the protagonist spending valuable time saving the future or trying to alter the history of the game trying to turn Olivia into his waifu. Way to prioritize what’s necessary for the world. Thankfully though, Noah has a plan to get everything back into order.       

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2043: The Realm of the New God – Chapter Three

Title: The Realm of the New God
Author: ThatoneSelfInsertGuy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Self Insert
URL:  Chapter Three
Critiqued by Zues Killer Productions

Warning: This particular riff has several sections that describe severe car accidents, as well as the messy results of said accidents. Putting in a trigger warning for anyone who isn’t comfortable with the subject.

Realm of the New God riff part 2-The tension of attrition

Welcome back to the riff of Realm of the New God. I apologize for the lateness in which this was delivered, as life was getting very busy.

Meanwhile

Life: American History from 1900

Life: Shitty weather systems

Life: Call of Duty Classic and United Offensive.

Life: Legends of the Titan

I should also mention something else: I’m covering game arcs, because me reviewing every chapter in this style is about as worthwhile as using a single Lifesaver to stave off starvation for 3 days. So, without further ado, let’s finish the intro to the game.

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2035: Realm of the New God – Chapters One and Two

Title: Realm of the New God
Author: Thatoneselfinsertguy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem Awakening
Genre: Self Insert
URL: chapter 1
Critiqued by Zeus Killer Productions

Realm of the New God riff #1-How to start an untypical typical fanfic

I apologize if this confuses some of you. See, I did do the first chapter, but my initial style, namely just describing stuff on a skim basis while not showing anything from the original fanfic, confused some people, and it’s partially my fault. I thought that I’d be able to give people a viable picture of what the fanfic was like without having to show it. Hopefully, this will not only serve as a better picture riff of what’s going on, but also allow me to improve my riffing style.

Are you ready to explore the world of Fire Emblem fanfiction? There are boundless possibilities for you to explore, such as potential AU’s, off-screen relationships between characters, and even potential ways you imagine how the games went. All of those options are indicative of a surprising amount of creativity…by following the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing.

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2020: Realm of the New God – Chapter One

Title: Realm of the New God
Author: ThatOneSelfInsertGuy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Self Insert / Adventure / Humor
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Zeus Killer Productions

Chapter 1-The beginning of the end

Hello, and welcome to Zeus’s riff of Realm of the New Gods. Now, most people would point out what the fanfiction does by doing an analysis on said fanfiction, and then putting their own two cents in. But I don’t have that much persistence to do that, and I get bored easily. So instead, here’s something that’s inspired by “Terrible Writing Advice”. And by inspired, I mean taken wholesale. By following my expert advice, you too can make sure that you can write like the professional fanfiction writers. It’s that easy.

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