2255: Realm of the New Gods, Chapters 14-16
Posted: February 6, 2019 Filed under: Fire Emblem, Realm of the New God | Tags: Fire Emblem, Guest Riffs, Self Insert, Video Game, Zeus Killer Productions 26 CommentsTitle: Realm of the New Gods
Author: Thatoneselfinsertguy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Self-insert
URL: (Chapter 14) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10834103/14/ (Chapter 15) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10834103/15/The-Realm-of-the-New-God (Chapter 16) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10834103/16/The-Realm-of-the-New-God
Critiqued by Zues Killer Productions
Happy New Year people. I know it’s been a while, but I’m going to get through this chapter…if only because this semester is going to be extremely busy.
When we last left off, Noah was proven right by Jean “killing” Olivia, and we almost managed to see Noah finally off himself, before the author decided that anything negative happening to his character was clearly not going to work, even though one of the fics he ripped off actually pulled that off to masterful effect. Which is a shame, because I’d like to see him NOT get anything he wanted at this point.
Now, the Shepherds (and Noah) are in Feroxi, and if you think that it’s going to jump straight to the part where Chrom gets punched by accident, right?
NOPE.
Instead, here’s 3 chapters of filler before we get to Gangrel. Because clearly, the best idea on how to develop characters and story is to delay the stuff that happens in game.
Not to say it can’t be done well, but as we all have seen, this isn’t the author’s strong suit. And since it’s 3 chapters, I’m just going to cover what’s relevant, so that way I don’t end up gutting myself like a Great White.
The first chapter of this little filler arc begins with Noah, who’s complaining about Sumia not punching Chrom, almost eviscerating a messenger boy trying to deliver a message to the jerk. Said message is an invitation to dinner from Olivia and her family, which just started. Noah, in his attempts to woo his chosen waifu, somehow managed to time travel himself just before the dinner started…or the persons who requested the meet-up weren’t at the location at the appointed time.
2140: Realm of the New Gods – Chapter Thirteen
Posted: September 17, 2018 Filed under: Fire Emblem, Realm of the New God | Tags: Adventure, Fire Emblem, Humor, Self Insert, Video Game, Zeus Killer Productions 20 CommentsTitle: Realm of the New Gods
Author: Thatoneselfinsertguy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Bad Shonen anime
URL: Chapter 13
Critiqued by Zues Killer Productions
Realm of the New Gods riff part 6-We’ve reached just below the tip of the Iceburg.
Uggh…wow, that happened. Can’t believe someone wrote a trollfic in which Garfield takes Shepherd’s place in Mass Effect.
For those wondering what the hell happened last time, Emm dies, Jean attempts to kill Gangrel, and Chrom recruits Jean to the Shephe-and there goes my brain now.
*pops cork onto ear*
Hopefully, Flavia can save this part, lest I go mad due to the sheer stupidity here.
2115: Realm of the New Gods – Chapters Eleven and Twelve
Posted: August 20, 2018 Filed under: Fire Emblem, Realm of the New God | Tags: Adventure, Fire Emblem, Humor, Self Insert, Video Game, Zeus Killer Productions 34 CommentsTitle: Realm of the New Gods
Author: Thatoneselfinsertguy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Self-Insert
URL: Chapter 11
Critiqued by Zues KIller Productions
Kept ya waiting huh?
Realm of the New Gods riff part 5-You ever feel like writing shitty romances based solely on how hawt someone is?
So yeah…after an impromptu hiatus due to online homework for a semester, and me being bad at math, I’ve finally gotten back towards writing this riff. However, it has been a while, and some people might not have seen it. So, here’s the abridged version of events thus far:
Noah is the protagonist, who’s backstory is that his family gets into a tragic car crash so over the top, that the story of “If I Stay” somehow has a more realistic outcome, handholding bridging the gap of the underworld included. After some time passes, he manages to get into an edgelord’s fanfic that’s supposed to be a combination of Asleep and Decruited, two other fanfics in Fire Emblem Awakening fandom.
Noah, despite being a thief, and acting like a sociopath, has the story make him supposedly more sympathetic than several other people, including but not limited to, Frederick (who admits that Noah is better than him in-story despite the fact that he has no real evidence for it), Muriel (who’s compared to a high-functioning sociopath despite fanon stating that she might be autistic), and Gaius (who somehow turned from a comedically addicted sugar rusher to a womanizer)…and that’s not going into his alternate, who’s an Awesome Mcevil in his own right.
Noah was so unsubtle at being a Self-Insert Gary Stu, he earned a position in the Library’s poll for “Most blatant Gary Stu.” This is despite the last part ending on chapter 10.
Of 55.
When we last left off, he had just promoted into a hybrid of the Trickster and Assassin class that I dubbed “The Edgelord Class” and picked up a matching cape almost two minutes after. We then find that Edgy!Olivia is who he’s trying to bang…which is fucking stupid because who wants to read about an edgy Gary Stu getting shacked up with the Edgy!Olivia from Decruited (which was a comedic fanfic btw). Now they’re all supposed to get towards Chapter 8.
How’s that going?
2074: Realm of the New God – Chapters 8-10
Posted: July 2, 2018 Filed under: Fire Emblem, Realm of the New God, Uncategorized | Tags: Adventure, Fire Emblem, Humor, Self Insert, Video Game, Zeus Killer Productions 13 CommentsTitle: Realm of the New God
Author: ThatoneSelfInsertGuy
Media: Video Game
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Self Insert
URL: Chapters 8, 9, and 10
Critiqued by Zues Killer Productions
Realm of the New God riff part 4-how to make pregnancy edgy
Welcome back to the Realm of the New God riff. Last time, we read about Noah, our main character, experiencing a wired crisis of sorts after a vastly over inflated Medieval Army gets hosed down, and then thrilled in wonder as Frederick Ricken and Donnel, along with a guard, ultimately die so that the main character can get edgy.
Also, Lissa is revealed to be pregnant with Frederick’s child. Now normally, this would mean I skip most of the chapter. But since this is something that’s kind of important, as a royal heir may be in the making, I’m going to guess this becomes important.
2061: Realm of the New God Chapters 4-7
Posted: June 18, 2018 Filed under: Fire Emblem, Realm of the New God, Uncategorized | Tags: Adventure, Fire Emblem, Humor, Self Insert, Video Game, Zeus Killer Productions 15 CommentsTitle: Realm of the New God
Author: ThatoneSelfInsertGuy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Self Insert
URL: Chapters 4, 5, 6, & 7
Part 3-Plagiarizing 101
Welcome back to the somewhat occasional ramblings of some random guy on the internet talking about a fanfic that’s mostly a very blatant excuse of being an edgelord. I know it’s been a while, so why not do a recap of what’s been going on so far (which is definitely not an excuse to put in the chapters I forgot to put in the last riff).
Our resident edgelord protagonist, Noah, was driving his family from Georgia to Texas, and accidentally got in front of a drunk who was going 100mph. The resulting T-Bone has his family and the other guy dead, and Noah only has a concussion at best.
With his family dead, he somehow ends up in a version of Fire Emblem: Awakening that takes two different fanfics and mixes them up. Rather than use his meta knowledge to do something, Noah just goes with the flow, and indebtedly injures himself fighting Reina at the Ferox-Ylisse border…as a thief…by literally having a Javelin goes through his fucking leg (how he’s still in the army is beyond me).
From there, he hits it off surprisingly well with Olivia, even if the only reason these two want to get together is ostensibly because physical attraction is equivalent to true love. As Noah goes back, Donnel joins with Mozu’s backstory poorly crowbarred into his characterization, along with a Killer Lance (oh yeah, kind of forgot about that).
Naturally, we leave back where we were with Maribelle being kidnapped, and the protagonist spending valuable time saving the future or trying to alter the history of the game trying to turn Olivia into his waifu. Way to prioritize what’s necessary for the world. Thankfully though, Noah has a plan to get everything back into order.
Library of the Damned 
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