Thursday Special – Reconciliation: Grief’s Reunion

Title: Reconciliation: Grief’s Reunion
Author: giftheck
Media: Film
Topic: Zootopia/Zootropolis
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family
URL: Reconciliation: Grief’s Reunion
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello all, and welcome to something decidedly different: a spotlight of a good fanfic that isn’t happening on a Sunday.

Now, those of you that have jumped on for me reading Borba to filth over IWS and BTBA have probably come up with one singular question: “Herr, what does the good version of this fic look like?” Glad you asked, patrons, because I have just the fic for you!

So sit back, relax, and let me talk about a little thing called Grief’s Reunion

Read the rest of this entry »


2271: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Sixteen, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Welcome back to The True Force, a fic as light on the Force as it is on the truth.

“That does not make any-”

Last time we were treated to the first half of the dungeon crawl of the Temple of Fire, complete with implausible light saber proofing.  Which just showed once again that including the Jedi in this fic was absolutely pointless.  Darunia also made a quick appearance before getting the hell off the page to go actually do something.  He remains in my number-two spot for best character.

“I do not believe you can count Carl.”

I’m running this freak show, so I’ll count him if I want.

Anyway, we left off last time with a door which wasn’t a door and a quick rescue mission to extract Alma from the fic. Read the rest of this entry »


2270: Mass Effect: United Species Aliance — Chapter 1 Part 1

Title: Mass Effect: United Species Aliance [sic]
Author: Delfim the Black Kitsune
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-fi/Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai and Specialist Adrian Sevarra

Hello hello all you patrons! I’m actually feeling a lot better about everything in general now that I’ve gotten some closure for that stupid Avatar fix-fic I started writing nearly a decade ago. Call it a Librarian loyalty mission, I suppose. So now I figure I’ll kick back and take a swipe at LOTD’s bread and butter: batfuck insane Mass Effect HFY stufics! And you know what that means…

*Adrian Sevarra sidles into the room and immediately makes a rude hand gesture.*

“I’ve charged terrorist machine-gun nests with nothing but my cloak and a combat knife and this is the sort of assignment you give me?!”

I guarantee you, once we get into this bad boy you’re gonna wish you had that knife back.

Read the rest of this entry »


2269: Maya and Raider – Chapter 12

Title: Maya and Raider
Author: 
Eclipsepheniox
Media: 
Video Game
Topic: 
Borderlands
Genre: 
Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 12
Critiqued by Delta XIII

Yeah, didn’t think you’d ever see this again, huh? Sorry for disappearing for so long; I have no real excuse other than laziness and my own short attention span.
Anyway, without further ado, let’s get on with it.

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 12

(spoilers)
(but who actually cares?)

Axton grabbed Maya’s back and pulled her up as the ice below her fell.

Axton somehow grabs Maya’s entire back all at once. He must have enormous hands. (1)

He pulled Maya up who was practically in tears.

Actually, those are tears of joy that she doesn’t have to be around Raider and his corrupting Stufluence anymore. (2)

He set Maya down and looked over the edge while Gaige comforted Maya. Axton took out a length of rope and hooked it onto the ice and tested it’s strength.

Axton is able to hook a rope into ice by itself, without any kind of, oh I don’t know, HOOK!!! (3)

“Ok guys I’ll go down first, you guys follow.” he said with everyone except Maya nodding.

He abseiled down to the floor and noticed Raider laying on the floor not moving. He ran over to the guerrilla fighter and got down to one knee and checked his heart beat. He felt a faint pulse and sighed with relief.

Fic briefly tries to trick us into thinking that Raider is dead but gives up halfway through. (4)

Maya was the next down and ran up to Raider and fell to her knees next to him. Her hand on him looking at him as if he where a child.

What in the name of Emo Baby Jesus does that even mean?! (5)

Read the rest of this entry »


2268: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 22

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 22
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

WARNING: Hey, domestic abuse is a funny joke, right? Wait, you mean it isn’t? Well, somebody should go tell Shadow knight1121 immediately!

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with yet another edgetacular chapter of The Shadow Warriors!

Last time, our villain of the week(s), Johnny Simmons, showed up at the Dork Patrol’s headquarters, only this time he was dressed up in a gaudy outfit as a Silver-Agey knockoff of King Tut from the Batman TV show with Adam West. He calls himself “King Leonae,” the “King of Gotham,” even though there are a lot of reasons that makes no sense.

Also he’s British now, even though he was not at all described as speaking with an accent.

Anyway, in a surprising and oddly satisfying display of decent pacing and tension, King Leonae and Bane trashed the EGA’s headquarters and sent them running with their tails between their legs. And before we get started, your chapterly news briefing.

Opener

As always, credit to Anne for this.

Read the rest of this entry »


2267: Mass Effected (The Second Snarking) – Chapter 3

Title: Mass Effected (The Second Snarking)
Author: RockJumper
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7241699/3/Mass_Effected
Critiqued by ME-Iron-Maiden

So this was the snarking I was doing before my long hiatus. Since I’m having trouble closing out A Thorned Rose, I’ll submit this as a substitute for the time being.

*walks in with a bag; sets it down on the table, pulling out a fifth of Bailey’s, a fifth of Jamison, and a few six-packs of Guiness Extra Stout*

So, I’ve discovered that the best way to do an MST review is when completely annihilated on Irish Carbombs. Anyways, “Mass Effected” has another chapter so… STORY SIGN!!!

*slaps the button and rushes off to the side*

Read the rest of this entry »


2266: Portal 3 Aperture Again! – Chapter 5

Author: terminalvelocityrunner
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Portal
Genre: Humor/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Standard greetings, dear Patrons!

 

In the last chapter we were finally introduced to TSue, a “biomechanics” and possibly anthropomorphic hedgehog that Cave Johnson whipped up in his spare time when he wasn’t busy dying. He also apparently gave her the Knowledge of The Cosmos, which amounts to being good at math and half-remembering obscure historical facts. TSue claimed to be able to give GLaDOS her body back, but then immediately backpedaled and decided she didn’t want to do that thing she just said she could – because she totally could, but can’t because reasons.

And now, on to the fic!

“Hey GLaDOS, do we have any wielding tools?” Asked T.

Presumably any tool that you can wield would be considered a wielding tool.

“Huh? Why would you need one of those?” Asked GLaDOS.

When she’s already a total tool? Good question.

“Inventing things is kind of a hobby of mine. One time, I actually invented a black hole power reactor.

As was the custom at the time.

 I used it to power a dimensional corridor and myself in general.

Does that mean TSue has a black hole inside her? I knew she sucked, but … Damn.

Read the rest of this entry »