2151: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 20

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 20
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags) and Kane

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with yet another chapter of The Shadow Warriors to round out this chunk before BadJamags takes over the reins again for another fic. But first, here’s your chapterly news briefing:

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

Chapter 20: New face In Gotham

IT’S ANOTHER OC! RUN FOR THE HILLS!

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2150: For the Heart of the Sea – Chapters 13 & 14

Title: For the Heart of the Sea
Author: RiverStyx1201
Media: Video Game
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s
Genre: none given
URL:  Chapter 13
URL: Chapter 14
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the final pair of chapters for the fic!

When last we left our less than brave protagonists, they were marching down the road to Vincent/Purple Guy’s house, to do whatever it is they are going to do in order to gain closure. Probably murder, because this is FNAF, but they could just meander around aimlessly until a literal deus ex machina appears to drop more plot in their collective laps just like the rest of the fic.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. With school ending and graduation along with other stuff going on in my life I got writers block on this story. Anyways, hope you enjoy and please forgive me for the wait.

Obligatory statement regarding self-imposed deadlines and the importance of education, with a side order of sympathy regarding writer’s block.

On to the fic!

Angela braced herself as she pushed the door open and saw the guy they were looking for sitting in at a desk not far from it. “So I take it Scott told you guys where to find me,” he said in a sinister tone. “I knew he couldn’t be trusted.”

…He has a desk sitting in front of his front door? That’s an unusual choice in home decor. Did this suddenly become a crossover with The Sims? Quick, someone check the yard for a death-trap swimming pool with no ladder.

At least, I assume they are in a house or other living space. There’s really no description. They walked there from Glowstick’s place, so I just assume it is also some sort of living space.

Angela scoffed as they filed into his house and faced him. “So you aren’t even going to try and defend yourself.”

A-ha! I was right, it is a house. With a desk placed directly in front of the door. Because reasons.

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2149: A Study in Toxicity: IllaRouge, Hildegard Tetreault, and Creative Bullying

Media: Shared RP Universe
Topic: Furry Basketball Association
Genre: Character Bios
Character Name: Hildegard Tetreault
Author: IllaRouge
URL: Bio
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck (and SC)

Okay, so I know I said I would do other bios. Well, frankly, after all the stuff that went down between myself and Sakai in the Margo Warrior comments last week, I figured “fine, I won’t bother you with the bios I did have”. However, there is one character I did want to talk about, and it lines up with what I talked about last week with the Margo Warrior snark. Now, for those of you who did read last week’s riff, I mentioned multiple times that she didn’t want to put the effort into the characters. Well, it gets worse, as evidenced by one Hildegard Tetreault.

So before I start, I’m going to tell you that, as far as the actual character, I’m looking at this bio only, because I just don’t want to snark her story content. Don’t get me wrong, the character is badly written outside of the bio, but the problem is her stories aren’t consistently horrible enough all the way through every single story: a lot of the story beats featured take forever to get really awful, there are actually a few decent plot threads in her earlier story content, and while her Twitter is a gold mine it faces the dual problem of you needing to know which contributor owns which character and me likely going axe crazy if I ever have to dig any deeper into her Twitter account than “first four tweets displayed”. And anyway, a lot of what pisses me off about the character has more to do with how Illa weaponized her against people she hates: she’s more of an annoyance for what she represents than for how bad her story content is.

And yes, Illa can say that people can’t figure out an author’s true intent all she wants: this claim does not hold up against a well-reasoned analysis of narrative framing, characterization, and the actions a person takes out of character, and unluckily for her us Librarians have become pretty good at all those things over the years, so we can have a pretty good idea. And because of that, I do have to still bring this bio up and I’ll include a summary of how she was handled in actual story content: in order for you guys to get a sense of why I think Illa did the things she did you have to understand the character and how she was made and played. And then, I can get to what really angers me about the character: the fact that IllaRouge has used Hildegard Tetreault as a shield to bully someone with.

Oh, and because one person isn’t enough to shit on a bio this awful, you’ll be hearing from SC on occasion!

So without further ado, here we go:

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2148: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Ten, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Warning:  Today’s installment includes fatally bad dialogue.

Hello and welcome to another Wednesday.  Today marks the last installment of the first act of the riffing of the True Force.  Woof, that’s awkward to try to put to words.  Anyway, starting next week I’ll be dipping into my pile of holiday-themed one-shots to make October extra spoopy.

But, until then, I’ve got Crunchy all loaded up and ready to hit you with a recap!

“Would that such was physically possible.  The chapter fragment primarily consisted of Jedi looking at and discussing a seven-year-old distress message, and a youngling gardening under the mentorship of a Force Ghost.”

Really, that it?

“There was also some idiocy surrounding trying to land the Jedi’s fighter in the city rather than a secure location, but otherwise this first half was rather bereft of incident.  I believe the last we saw was the Jedi throwing the lid off their ship.”

And, as pointed out in the comments, they hadn’t even landed it yet.

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2147: Sly Cooper: Thief Of Virtue — Pages 374 Through Epilogues (Yes There Are Multiple Epilogues)

Title: Sly Cooper: Thief Of Virtue
Author:ConnorDavidson
Media: Video Game
Topic: Sly Cooper
Genre: None Given
URL: DeviantArt Gallery Page
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back for the final time to Sly Cooper: Thief of Virtue, which whether it in fact is a porno or is not a porno will still be ending today!

Last time we were treated to a vision (what else!) showing a young Lil Yachty Hookworm and his creepy be-fedora’d nutcase of a dad giving him a medallion with the Magical Mystery Crystals in it as a birthday present and subsequently running afoul of a rather pudgy, ill-defined Clockwerk. Clockwerk wanted to know where Dad Cooper was and Dad Lupus wouldn’t tell him, so Clockwerk killed Dad Lupus in front of his son and then Dad Cooper tried to adopt him but was also killed. Q-Tip Henipavirus then grew up and chased after Clockwerk himself, but discovered the bird was already dead, and in a fit of Edge over having had his kill stolen chucked his medallion into the lava of Clockwerk’s volcano and caused the Magical Mystery Crystals to somehow transmute into their current giant forms. Except he also says he doesn’t care about the whole kill-stealing thing and just wants to take over the world. So there was no point to any of that.

Back in the present Interpol was gearing up for a full-scale assault on Future Oesophagostomum’s castle, using the green Magical Mystery Crystal as bait. Fox Obnoxious, however, showed up and deliberately got himself captured, then used the crystal to mind-control Director Torus into making vague threats and recorded him doing so. Travis Scott Xuan Son Virus then showed up in person to recover the recording (which he believes will somehow cause the entire geopolitical order to collapse if released) and straight-up kill a bunch of Torus’s men. Torus and Ice Ice Baby then gave chase in a helicopter.

Also a character named “Sly Cooper” may occasionally have appeared and taken a peripheral role in observing the above happenings, but he wasn’t particularly important. We left off just as he was preparing for some sort of ‘final showdown’ with iSpy Cysticercosis.

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2146: Sly Cooper: Thief of Virtue — Pages 313 through 373 Mega Riff Bonus Round!

Title: Sly Cooper: Thief Of Virtue
Author:ConnorDavidson
Media: Video Game
Topic: Sly Cooper
Genre: None Given
URL: DeviantArt Gallery Page
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Sly Cooper: Thief Of Virtue, which has entered a bizarre sort of quantum superposition where it is both a porno and not a porno simultaneously.

Previously we wrapped up the Colonel Zahn heist with a ton of pointless speechifying and Zahn himself taking way too long to actually beat and also breaking Sly’s cane in half and just in general there being waaaay too much Ned. But other than that the mission was actually vaguely competent, even though Director Torus showed up to arrest everybody and confiscate the green Magical Mystery Crystal at the end so it all ended up in exactly the same place we were just before the aborted Captain Snow arc so what was really the point?

Also a really ineptly-done flashback showed us that Director Torus somehow allowed Clockwerk to find the Cooper family, but that has absolutely not stopped him from continuing to be awesome. We left off just as he was offering Sly and his gang a deal- immunity in exchange for their assistance in taking down the instigator of all of this, Kylie Jenner Trichinosis.

I wanted to get this thing done in time for the Crappypasta Spooptacular, so we’ll be pulling double marathon sessions today and tomorrow. Straps yourselves in; it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

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2145: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 19 Part 2

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 19
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with the second half of this chapter of The Shadow Warriors! That means no chapterly news briefing, since you got that last time. Last time, Batman, Red Hood, and Edgelord had a poorly written fight scene. This fight scene is not over yet, so let’s dive back in!

He then fired two bolts at Jason who let out a scream of pain as Jayden suddenly stopped. Jason was lying helplessly on the ground as Jayden walked over to his sword and picked it up.

*A Darkwraith rushes in with a bowl of popcorn*

It took you long enough. I ordered this last riff!

*Takes the popcorn and throws some at the screen*

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