1906: Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty

Title:  Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty
Author:   Ugly Kitty Cat Sweater
Media: Cartoon
Topic: Power Puff Girls
Genre: Romance/Friendship
URL: Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty
Critiqued by TacoMagic & Swenia

Hey, patrons!  As promised, this week I’m brining you a smut fic!  Featuring trains!  Since it’s a smut fit, well, somebody insisted on helping.

“Hi, patrons!  Let’s get to the sex already!”

The train sex.

“Wait, trains?  Why are trains having sex?”

Did you not see the context last week? This is a Thomas and Friends fic.

“I feel lied to!  I didn’t sign up for train sex!  Why didn’t you say anything!”

I DID.

“Why didn’t you make me pay attention!?”

Anyway, for anyone wondering, this is Butch:

He’s a breakdown truck with a big-ol winch on him.

*Swenia waggles her eyebrows*

Oh for crap’s sake.

“If you’re going to rope an unsuspecting gal into train sex, you can’t blame her for enjoying herself anyway.”

Anyway, Butch’s main job is assisting when stuff breaks by dragging or towing it.  Pretty easy.  He doesn’t appear a whole lot in the show, but the vast majority of the characters are like that, appearing in only one or two episodes yet somehow cultivating sometimes quite rabid followings.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s check out the summary!

I’M NOT GOOD WITH SUMMARIES SO LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH!

“That’s a good sign.”

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1866: The adventure of The Doctor – Oneshot

Title: The adventure of The Doctor
Author: Butchee
Media: Cartoon / Television
Topic: DuckTales / Doctor Who
Genre: Family/Adventure
URL: The adventure of The Doctor
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons!  Let’s keep this oneshot train rolling by digging up another canon I haven’t touched in a while: DuckTales!  This time, we’re going to cross it with Doctor Who, because why the hell not!?

For those wondering, this will be the 10th Doctor (The popular David Tennat version).  The Doctor is never explicitly described in the fic, so I had to look at the character list to find out which it was.

Anyway, let’s start where we always do, with the summary!

When The Doctor gets sucked into a dimension,and Gyro Gearloose’s invention is to blame.  But also the solution…

Well, we’re certainly off to a great start!  Onwards and into the fic!

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1860: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!) – Oneshot

Title: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!)
Author: Bowserbutt
Media: Cartoon / Movie
Topic: Phineas and Ferb / Legend of Boggy Creek
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
URL: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!)
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, peoples, welcome back to Wednesday.  Now that the birthday festivities are behind us, and the repair crews are busy handling the aftermath, I’m once again flying solo!

Since I’m on this on-shot binge, I figured I’d dig into an old favorite canon of mine: Phineas and Ferb.  There’s a glut of really bad fics in that canon, which makes it a wonderland of material for the sharks.  This time, though, I’ve found something that defies all… everything.  This week we’re going to tackle a Phineas and Ferb crossover with The Legend of Boggy Creek.

Now, if you’re wondering about that second canon, I’ve got a small infodump on it for you.  The Legend of Boggy Creek is a series of three budget movies from the 70s and 80s:  The Legend of Boggy Creek, Return to Boggy Creek, and Boggy Creek 2: And The Legend Continues.  Now, before you call me out on typoing, yes there are actually two different sequels to the original, and both are terrible.  This crossover, however, only deals with the first movie.  The first movie is a faux documentary-style horror movie revolving around the Fouke monster, a Bigfoot-like creature that’s allegedly been spotted in the Fouke Arkansas area as far back as 1891.  The movie was actually the precursor to the Blair Witch Project, as the later film purposefully utilized the same cinematic style.  The directors also cited The Legend of Boggy Creek as one of the primary cinematographic influences.

But that’s really all you really need to know about The Legend of Boggy Creek:  It’s a horror film about a swamp sasquatch which is stylized as a documentary (the film, not the sasquatch).  Despite how terrible the sequels are, I do recommend giving the original a look if for no other reason to see the historical origins of more modern movies that use similar stylistic choices.

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1778: Love & Bullets – Chapter Twelve

Title: Love & Bullets
Author: MissScorp
Media: Comics
Topic: Batman
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: Chapter 12
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

What do you need us for? count: 12

Bullet count: 0

Dick is a dick count: 9

Hello, once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BadJamags…

GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back for more of Love & Bullets, the fic that’s about to END!

Last time, after a lot of utterly pointless dilly-dallying, Raya Sue finally just said “Yes,” to Dick’s proposal (or rather, his ninth one, by my count), and the story should’ve ended right there. But it didn’t. So here’s the epilogue, starting with a slightly different author’s note for once.

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1772: Love & Bullets – Chapter Eleven

Title: Love & Bullets
Author: MissScorp
Media: Comics
Topic: Batman
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: Chapter 11
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

What do you need us for? count: 12

Bullet count: 0

Dick is a dick count: 9

Hello, once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BadJamags…

GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back for more of Love & Bullets, the fic that’s finally almost fucking over. This chapter is called “Marry me,” so presumably something will actually happen. But of course there’s an epilogue after this. There just had to be a fucking epilogue, because otherwise the fic would end.

GoodJamags: Let’s just skip the canned author’s note and jump right in.

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1764: Fall to Equestria – Chapter Fifteen (But really Chapter Thirteen)

Title: Fall to Equestria
Author: doomboom1234
Media: Television/Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Genre: Sex/Comedy/Human/Random/Romance
URL:  Chapter Fifteen Thirteen
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

-WARNING-

Beware, for here be dragons. Or at least more hardcore pony porn.

Hello hello all you patrons!

Welcome back to Fall to Equestria, ruining awesome characters since late 2012.

Last time our plucky protagonist Loser Martin was captured by the Changelings, promptly escaped through a method so stupid and thermodynamically dubious that I refuse to even recap it, and then immediately turned himself in again. This led to fortunately unconsummated sexytimes with Queen Chrysalis, who apparently was not evil at all and just misunderstood (needing a whole three sentences from the Stu to devolve into a sobbing wreck). Then Princess Celestia showed up and did the first sensible thing in the ‘fic, namely magic-blasting Loser Martin to within an inch of his life while trying to shoot the Queen.

With his miraculous Stu powers he somehow survived the blast. Well, he’s bleeding out, but considering that that Celestia was trying to kill Chrysalis and we’ve seen her literally blast enemies apart, Loser should be chunky salsa by now.

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1762: Love & Bullets – Chapter Ten

Title: Love & Bullets
Author: MissScorp
Media: Comics
Topic: Batman
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: Chapter 10
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

WARNING: Author still thinks she can write about domestic abuse. Given that she can’t write healthy interpersonal relationships, my hopes aren’t high. Thankfully, it’s still just referenced and not shown.

What do you need us for? count: 12

Dick is a dick count: 7

Bullet count: 0

Hello, once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BadJamags…

GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back for more of Love & Bullets, the fic that should be over already. Last time, we had another pointless fucking flashback. This time, we’ll dive into chapter 10 and hope that the fic will actually do something.

GoodJamags: And in case you’re wondering, no. The canned author’s note hasn’t gone away. Sadly. It’s not that bad on a first viewing, but at the top of every chapter, it’s just frustrating to see.

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