2568: Harry’s Hidden Sibling – Chapter 1, part 3

Title: Harry’s Hidden Sibling
Author: AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Yello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the last of this one chapter long fic that has lasted for-frickin’-ever. Kind of fitting that we’re ending it on Friday the Thirteenth, I guess.

In the last segment, there was … Ummm…

:flips through notes: 

Dream sequence … :flip:  Shenanigans … :flip-flip: The whole under-aged soul bond … thing …

:tosses notebook over her shoulder:

Fuck if I know what was going on.

Onward to the bitter end!

Albus had to go alone to change the story, for the greater good. he didn’t want the Longbottom line to end, but he knew Harry had to be born a year earlier if necessary to give Lord Voldemort a choice between the two boys.

I don’t really think that’s how a prophecy works, dude.

As I’ve already pointed out there were likely a number of children born around the vague time period specified by Trelawney’s prophecy – July, 1980 – and I’m sure statistically speaking a good number of them would have been male and their parents would have been apposed to Voldemort. I assume the whole reason Neville is the only other candidate is due to the fan theories that he was the Chosen One from the prophesy, not Harry.

 Hopefully the soul bond will still be in effect for Harry and Ginerva and if possible I may need to interfere again.

Because even though he’s now going to be born a year earlier, Harry is going to be the exact same person because reasons.

Wait a second … Interfere? When did he interfere before now? Was it when he gave the Potters the special soul-bonding rings? Or did I miss something during that endless dream sequence? Because I was fairly well plastered for most of it.

Don’t drink knife polish and fancy perfume, kids. You’ll end up having to get your liver vacuumed out by a guy who is overly fond of leeches, which is far less fun than it sounds.

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2565: Harry’s Hidden Sibling – Chapter 1, part 2

Title: Harry’s Hidden Sibling
Author: AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

[Note from FutureGhostie – I’m not going to put a full content warning tag on this, but it goes off the rails very quickly and touches on some disturbing subject matter. Nothing graphic, but it does involve children and ‘age of consent’ shenanigans.]

 

Hello, dearest Patrons, and welcome to the second installment of this rambling fever-dream of a fic. In the first chunk James and Lily (and possibly another James) were married, resulting in a ‘weak’ soul bond, and a year later Dumbledore received the book prophecy from Professor Trelawney and then decided to take a quick nap. Onward into … whatever this is!

~Albus Dumbledore’s Dream~

I guess this tag is here in case having Dumbledore cast a spell on himself in a mix of broken Latin and English wasn’t enough of a clue that he was going to be forcing himself to fall asleep and have a convenient prophetic dream.

St. Mungo’s…

Sept. 19, 1979

This is Hermione’s canonical birth date, although I would assume she was born in a Muggle hospital and not St. Mungo’s. I doubt any wizarding family would go to St. Mungo’s – or, to use the hospital’s full name, St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries – for a normal birth since childbirth is not a magical malady or injury. There’s not really a lot of information regarding childbirth given in the books, but St. Mungo’s various floors are described and none of them contain a maternity wing so I assume that wizarding families either go elsewhere or use the services of a magical midwife or something similar.

Albus made his way along with his headmistress Minerva McGonagall to visit old friends of theirs who have just given birth to their first child.

Minerva said, “She’s beautiful.”

Is McGonagall practicing for when she sees the baby, or does she think the hallway is beautiful?

Lily smiled, “She is she has James’s eyes just a shade dark and could be mistaken for brown but there is a tinge of blue-grey to be known as hazel eyes and she has my father’s hair.

I think Lily is still enjoying the effects of whatever medication they’ve given her. I wish she would share.

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2560: Harry’s Hidden Sibling – Chapter 1, part 1

Title: Harry’s Hidden Sibling
Author: AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to a girthy oneshot from an author who is obsessed with blood rituals and has no grasp on how genetics work – good ol’ AACP! It is one of the few works on his main profile that is a ‘real’ fic and not just a lengthy rant abusing one of his favorite horse corpses or an attempt to ‘fix’ the works of other fanfic authors who don’t meet with AACP’s approval. It is also technically only one chapter long but is so dense that I will likely have to break it into at least two, probably three, parts.

Let’s just take a quick peek at the summary, shall we?

This starts out as Lily and James wedding and then goes on to well, her first true child, Dumbledore’s seer-like abilities thanks to a spell, then Dumbledore’s interference and obliviation, and this explains why Harry and Hermione aren’t supposed to be together as well, because they are full blood brother and sister. Only Harry and Ginny are supposed to be together romantically.

Well. That’s certainly a thing that someone wrote.

If this fic is anything like the other fic(s) we’ve seen from this author and his sock-puppet, then the actual plot will completely dissolve into a disjointed ‘explanation’ about one of the author’s favorite pet subjects – and/or possibly turn into poorly translated Welsh – at some point, and based on that summary I assume it’s going to be yet another incredibly convoluted way of ‘proving’ that Harry and Hermione can’t be romantically involved (even though canonically they aren’t) because reasons, so we have that to look forward to.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone/Philosopher’s Stone

…Huh. I’m used to seeing the chapter repeated in the body of the text, but that’s new. Pretty sure this seven thousand plus word fanfic isn’t the actual book named in that title.

Chapter: Prologue/LILY AND JAMES WEDDING/HIDDEN SIBLING/THE BOY WHO LIVED.

No wonder this chapter is so long; it is actually four chapters in one.

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2288: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist – Chapters 46-54

Title: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist
Author: HardcoreCommie
Media: Book/Film
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Fantasy/Parody
URL: Chapters Forty-SixForty-SevenForty-EightForty-NineFiftyFifty-OneFifty-TwoFifty-Three, and Fifty-Four
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello everybody, and welcome back to Harry Potter and the North Korean Propaganda Machine. My name is Herr Wozzeck, and I’m here with yet another installment of “OH DEAR GOD WHY!?”

Because really, what else can you say to this? The level that someone wants to go with their edgy brand of “humor” is really kind of shocking, you know what I’m saying? And for me, I don’t understand just what the hell this person was thinking.

Which means we’re gonna dive in deeper! Hang on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen, we’re going in!

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2277: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist – Chapters 38-45

Title: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist
Author: HardcoreCommie
Media: Book/Film
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Fantasy/Parody
URL: Chapters Thirty-EightThirty-NineFortyForty-OneForty-TwoForty-ThreeForty-Four, and Forty-Five
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

*looks up*

Oh thank God, Borba isn’t about to interrupt our intro this time. Oh yeah, and there’s no sex disclaimers this time! Things are already looking up for us!

Well, guys, the month of I Will Survive is officially over. And that means, we’ve gotta get back into Harry Potter Becomes A Communist. I dunno about you, but I think this is the break we desperately needed from this fic, because my God, I don’t think I could’ve made it to the 1/3rd point of this fic otherwise.

Yeah, I’m finding something to alternate with this fic. In the meantime, let’s get right back into this fic!

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2239: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist – Chapters 21-27

Title: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist
Author: HardcoreCommie
Media: Book/Film
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Fantasy/Parody
URL: Chapters Twenty-OneTwenty-twoTwenty-ThreeTwenty-FourTwenty-FiveTwenty-Six, and Twenty-Seven
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello everybody, and welcome back for some more Harry Potter and the Bolshevyk Revolution. I’m your host Herr Wozzeck, and today, I guess it’s time for more adventures in “communism”.

*sigh*

More than anything, I just know that the quest against McGonagall is just not gonna end well for anybody. I mean, when it misunderstands what “cultural appropriation” is supposed to be, accuses her of doing it when it’s not what she’s doing at all, and then centers a whole plot thread around it… Good Lord, ladies and gents, I don’t even have the words.

So let’s just dive right in. I just cannot wait to see what happens! Read the rest of this entry »


2227: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist: Chapters 6 – 12

Title: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist
Author: HardcoreCommie
Media: Book/Film
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Fantasy/Parody
URL: Chapters SixSevenEightNineTenEleven, and Twelve
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Library of the Damned. And this time, well…

*puts on the hardhat*

Why, oh why, did this trollfic have to go into Communism? I just…

*headdesk*

Let’s just get started. I’m expecting this to go way more horribly wrong very soon, and dear Christ, the number of chapters! So the sooner we’re done with this, the better.

So here we go. Read the rest of this entry »