1748: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Three, Part Two

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by Angie

Hey guys, gals and non binary pals! My name is Angie, and today we’re venturing through the final bit of chapter three of Brego’s Mistress.

Yay?

I can’t even pretend that this is going to be a pleasant experience. Sit back, let’s see.

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1742: Celebrian – Part Ten

Title: Celebrian
Author: A now-forgotten servant of Morgoth the Defiler
Media: Book
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Sacrilege
URL: Celebrian
Critiqued by KittyNoodles

*** WARNING: The following riff contains no rape for once. Unfortunately, it does involve random bestiality and some of the most atrocious body horror you’ve likely ever seen described on purpose, which may result in extreme dizziness, shortness of breath, nausea, heartburn, indigestion, and a lifelong aversion to ice cream. Yes, ice cream. Those of you who have seen 2 Girls 1 Cup are probably the only people prepared for this. Those of you who have not seen the aforementioned video are first advised not to look it up if you ever wish to eat again; furthermore, such persons will need to trade their complimentary Fic Sickness Bags™ for equally complimentary Fic Sickness Barrels™, both of which have been provided to us courtesy of the PCC. In case of extreme aversion to the impending body horror and character bastardization, please proceed in a shrieking, disorganized mob to your nearest fire escape.

This riff also involves descriptions of severe bodily injury. ***

(*Lyle walks in, glances at the schedule for the day, and nopes her way right back out of the riff chamber*)

[The narration would like to introduce all of you to–]

Kitty: Shut up and set the scene, you rampaging ball of ass.

[The narration smugly lays out the scene: The blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals have been washed and rearranged so that they take up only one portion of the Booth – namely, Kitty’s half. The other half is back to normal, and occupied by Kitty’s guest riffer for this week, who lounges in one of the available chairs looking artfully bored.]

Guest Riffer: Thank you, narration. I think you can go now.

[The narration makes an exit until it is needed again.]

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1736: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Three, Part One

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by Angie

I’d like to apologize for last week’s riff. Because it was super super short. So, how better to make it up to you than go through another painful chapter of Brego’s Mistress? I can’t wait, and I know you can’t, so let’s get going.

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1724: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Two, Part Two

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by Angie

Howdy, nerds! I’m Angie back again with another edition of Brego’s Mistress. And, y’all…I finally found a fic that I really want to get through. Like, The Girl is fine, but this one… HO BOY.

I have the entire fic saved to my phone just in case Hannah decides to take it down…which means I’ve skimmed through and…it only gets worse.

With that, let’s finish Chapter Two!

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1714: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Two, Part One

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by Angie

Hey all! My name is Angie, and I’d like to welcome everyone back to everyone’s favorite (???) Lord of the Rings fan fiction, Brego’s Mistress. A fic that I can only figure as a…piece of literature romanticizing fucking horses.

Or maybe it’s just Flicka with a different name slapped on the front.

Nevertheless, as I look at Hannah’s Bio, I realize that her Tumblr is lothirielqueen.

Oh dear.

*deep sigh* Let’s get going through part one of chapter two.

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1703: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter One

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie

Howdy guys, gals and non binary pals! My name is Angie and today I am on a mission to prove that the Lord of the Rings is my favorite movie trilogy of all time. By…reviewing a bad Lord of the Rings fan fiction? Yeah, I don’t really get my logic either.

On my adventure through fanfiction.net, I found, to my dismay, that most LotR fics don’t really take themselves very seriously. Which is great on the surface, until you realize that most of the fics I sorted through don’t even reach the 2k mark.

Yay?

And in the midst of The Girl and the fact that my Uncle’s wake is in two days (or, depending on when this goes up, it was…two months ago?), I haven’t really been the most chipper person. But I feel like I can hopefully turn that around.

The word of the day being hopefully.

So, without further ado, let’s dive into Brego’s Mistress!

God, even that title makes me cringe. Moving on.

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1656: My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up Inside – Chapters Twenty and Twenty-One

Title: My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up Inside
Author:
Unknown/Fake Tara
Media:
Movies/Books
Topic:
Harry Potter
Genre:
Romance, Parody
URL:
http://imm.dh.obdurodon.org/documents/MyImmortalComplete.doc
Critiqued by Angie

Guys, we’re almost free. We’ve almost gotten through the entire thing. We can finally live happily again! We never have to read this fanfic ever again! Are you excited? I’m excited.

Anyway, last time, we learned that Ebony is a polygamist, that you can hum prayers with words, and all of our main characters are part cat. And now, without further ado, I present the end of My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up Inside. Let’s begin.

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