1883: Rage, Burning Bright

Title: Rage, Burning Bright
Author:  Machina Super Monstrum
Media: Video Game
Topic: Warframe
Genre: Drama/Angst
URL: Rage, Burning Bright
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey folks, welcome to another Taco Wednesday!  Yeah, that’s right,  I don’t have to bend to your trendy alliteration!

This week I’ve got a new source material for you all: Warframe.  For the uninitiated, Warframe is a free-to-play game where you essentially get to be a futuristic space ninja called a Tenno whose consciousness controls futuristic suits of power armor called warframes.  The actual plot of the game takes a pretty hefty backseat to the gameplay and exists mostly as lore that you can dig up from the in-game Codex. Warframe somewhat oldschool in that regard, so I don’t have much in the way of an infodump for you all.  And, in fact, this fic exists pretty well apart from any canon plot.  The bare-bones of the plot is that centuries ago the Orokin controlled the Sol solar system and tried to expand to the Tau system.  This pissed off the Sentients, a machine race that were already living there, which kicked off a massive war.  Many atrocities later, which included unleashing the Infestation, the Orokin eventually learned to tap into void energy in order to create Warframes piloted by the Tenno.  These warframes were eventually able to push back the Sentients, who had been winning the war, retake all their territory, and eventually crush them.  In their last-ditch effort to avoid complete extermination, the Sentients unleashed Natah who took control of the warframes and turned them back against the Orokin.  This left both empires essentially destroyed and the war ended.  At this point Natah was supposed to destroy the warframes to complete her mission, but as she had grown an affection for them, instead placed them in stasis.

Centuries later the Sol system has become divided by two rivaling factions: The Grineer, the ancient military slave-race of the Orokin, and the Corpus, a merchant faction based around technological research and trade.  At this point both the Grineer and Corpus begin to “dig too deep” for the ancient technologies.  The Grineer, in their attempts to capture the weapons of Orokin, inadvertently begin an awakening of the Warframes, who, under the direction of Lotus, forcibly take up a position of balance and peace keepers between the two factions.  Meanwhile, the Corpus begin to experiment with the remnants of the Infestation, which had previously been battled back into a state of quasi-dormancy by the Grineer.  These experiments rather predictably end with them unleashing a brand-new full-blown Infestation. This quickly catches Lotus’s attention and she sends the Warframes in to investigate and start to work on fighting back the rising tide of infested.

As for the game itself, I’d call it among the best free-to-play games currently out there.  The game’s model allows access to the vast majority of content without requiring any purchase, with all of the things absolutely requiring money being aesthetic in nature.  There IS a premium currency that’s primarily used to unlock extra equipment storage, speed up farming, or buy more aesthetics, but the game allows it to be traded for items, so those who don’t want to spend any of their own money can farm up some sought-after equipment and trade players whose wallets are a bit looser.  It helps that the game itself is also pretty damn fun, provided that jumping around like a cocaine-fueled rhesus monkey while spraying bullets everywhere and hitting things with a giant axe fits your description of fun.  It certainly fits mine.

And that’s way more than you really need to know for this fic.  The fic is “Rage, Burning Bright,” and if that mega-edgelord title is anything to go by, we may as well queue up all the Linkin Park and Evanescence songs right now.

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1838: Fallout Tetris – Oneshot

Title: Fallout Tetris
Author: Nigel Yearning
Media: Video Game
Topic: Fallout / Tetris
Genre: Drama
URL: Fallout Tetris
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Today I have a very special treat for you, A Fallout x Tetris crossover!  Now don’t get excited, it’s not as crazy as you think.  Personally I was hoping for the adventures of L-block in Fallout: NV or something, but the reality turned out to be far more mundane than expected.  I could get into that, but the summary covers it pretty well:

A Wastelander accidentally finds a game of Tetris after falling down a flight of stairs, she soon takes it and heads over to an nearby town to get it cashed in. Oneshot.

Now, you might notice that the fic is also sporting the coveted “drama” tag.  If you’re wondering how that summary could lead to something dramatic, then you’re not alone.  So strap in while we find the answer to that question.

Spoilers: it doesn’t.

Anyway, on with the show!

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1828: Out Of Darkness – Oneshot

Title: Out Of Darkness
Author: acquabellezza11
Media: Video Game
Topic: Final Fantasy VII / Resident Evil
Genre: Drama / Suspense
URL: Out Of Darkness
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Heyo, patrons!  This week I have a wonderful crossover for you called Out of Darkness and it’s really, really bad.  This wonderful little fic crosses the confusing and obtuse world of Final Fantasy VII with the obtuse and confusing world of Resident Evil in way that’s just… bad.  Really, really bad.

How bad?  Well, check out the summary.

With Time not on Leon’s side, he races to find a antibody cure for a soon to be victim to a new deadly virus to terrorists, someone who Leon is unawarely closer to, than he is lead to think (Read to find out)not sure if im gonna continue this… nobody is reviewing alot

I’ll just let that sink in while I go pour myself another cup of coffee.

*An eventually later*

Now, you all may be thinking, “Sure, Taco, that’s pretty bad, but this obviously isn’t a native English speaker.”  Well, hypothetical voice of the patrons, you would be wrong.  See, this particular fanfic writer also happens to have a Youtube channel.  I won’t embarrass her by sharing it here, but know that she clearly speaks American English in the videos where she talks.  She’s either a native speaker of English, or somebody who is absolutely fluent.

I’ll let that sink in as well. Read the rest of this entry »


1824: Batman and The Hunter Chap 1 & The Batman and The Hunter A Lady Waiting Chp 2 – Oneshots?

 

Title: Batman and the Hunter Chap 1
Author: Lisa Glider
Media: TV Show
Topic: Batman: The Animated Series/”Mythology”
Genre: Drama
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, Patrons, and welcome to a new fic! No more boring Slender Man halfheartedly chasing an androgynous drone around the forest! This particular fic is listed as a crossover between Batman: The Animated Series (my all-time favorite show and the reason I love Batman so much) and “Mythology”, which seems to be where most authors stick things that don’t really go anywhere else. Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

Lisa Glider, a cat gryphoness/princess is held against her will and there’s no one who can save her…or is there? Read on and find out.

:looks up at author’s name:

I think I can spot the SI Sue already. Also, a gryphon (or griffin, both spellings are accurate) is an eagle/lion hybrid with the head, wings, and talons of an eagle and the body of a lion but this particular one apparently has an extra helping of regular cat in her to give her those kawaii desu! kitty ears. And she is a princess. Because that is a thing that can happen, I guess.

Let’s go to the actual fic, shall we?

Gotham City. A place of corruption, crime, and a law breakers paradise. People lived in fear, as mad men steal, rob, and take lives within their own ways. However, a major plan was going change the city forever, not even The Dark Knight would know what to do.

This looks a lot more like a summary than the actual fic summary does.
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1786: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Six

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Six
Critiqued by Angie

*mumbling* Something something Brego’s Mistress something something Léofe something something. Let’s read.

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1783: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Twenty-Two, Part Two (Now with RealTalk™)

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Hey, guys!  We’re finally here, the grand finale of Heroes and Villains!  It’s celebration time!

“YAY!”

*Eliza sprays confetti everywhere*

I have deep regrets.

Let’s see, last time stuff happened with the Malkavians.  Mostly stupid stuff that involved horrible accents, German, and an illogical deal where Willow promised to hand over the city to them.  Really, at this point the fic has lost all pretense of trying to have a plot and now it’s just random shit happening while Igor moons over IndigoStars.

“I still feel really embarrassed for Igor.”

Luckily this fic is gone and was super obscure even before she pulled it down.  And now it’s being featured on a riff blog that is every bit as obscure.  It’s unlikely Indigo will ever see it.  Anyway, let’s see what we’ve got this week.

Also, to address the elephant in the room, I discovered today that Igor is transgender and prefers the feminine pronoun.  My bad on that one, but I had to dig pretty deep into the internet to discover it, so I see it as an honest mistake.  Regardless, I’ve corrected it moving forward.

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1778: Love & Bullets – Chapter Twelve

Title: Love & Bullets
Author: MissScorp
Media: Comics
Topic: Batman
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: Chapter 12
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

What do you need us for? count: 12

Bullet count: 0

Dick is a dick count: 9

Hello, once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BadJamags…

GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back for more of Love & Bullets, the fic that’s about to END!

Last time, after a lot of utterly pointless dilly-dallying, Raya Sue finally just said “Yes,” to Dick’s proposal (or rather, his ninth one, by my count), and the story should’ve ended right there. But it didn’t. So here’s the epilogue, starting with a slightly different author’s note for once.

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