1763: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Twenty-One, Part One

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Welp, we’re finally there, the home stretch.  Now that Igor is completely out of fucks to give, we enter the freefall stage.  The shark jumps, the editing dwindles, and what passes for the plot becomes even more fragmented and incoherent.

“You make it sound so good!”

Don’t I, though?

“Recap?”

Sure.  Spike does a sparring session with team Buffy, and then quickly drops that in favor of most of the group running off to go look for the very items that Willow was just told about in the previous scene.  Because that’s how good writing works.  On their way there Jim is invited to exposit his backstory, which he does.  It’s a contrived backstory, and since it’s about a character that nobody honestly gives a shit about, there’s no real need to revisit it.   After a quick chat with the embodiment of the plot, they’re directed to the same place Willow’s going.  It’s also dropped that Igor has decided to change his mistake into a plot point involving Sunnydale being completely restored.  Presumably with a “because magic” in there somewhere.  And if you’re wondering why it took the members of Team Buffy this long to think something was strange with Sunnydale being back, then you’d be forgetting that nobody in this fic actually has a brain.

“It turns out that you don’t need one to star in a fanfic!”

The chapter trails off with a scene of DEEP FORESHADOWING™ where a bunch of vampires with extremely fake accents talk about stuff that I can’t be bothered to remember, and then an ASMR vampire shows up because why the fuck not?  Igor literally had no fucks left to give when he wrote that scene, which is why I skimmed the crap out of it.

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1762: Love & Bullets – Chapter Ten

Title: Love & Bullets
Author: MissScorp
Media: Comics
Topic: Batman
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: Chapter 10
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

WARNING: Author still thinks she can write about domestic abuse. Given that she can’t write healthy interpersonal relationships, my hopes aren’t high. Thankfully, it’s still just referenced and not shown.

What do you need us for? count: 12

Dick is a dick count: 7

Bullet count: 0

Hello, once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BadJamags…

GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back for more of Love & Bullets, the fic that should be over already. Last time, we had another pointless fucking flashback. This time, we’ll dive into chapter 10 and hope that the fic will actually do something.

GoodJamags: And in case you’re wondering, no. The canned author’s note hasn’t gone away. Sadly. It’s not that bad on a first viewing, but at the top of every chapter, it’s just frustrating to see.

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1760: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Four

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by Angie

I’m too harsh on fanfiction. You know? I, uh…it’s just been a really really weird year full of a lot really weird fanfiction.

Let’s just…let’s just get into another chapter with no plot of Brego’s Mistress.

*coughs, hacks*

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1756: Love & Bullets – Chapter Nine

Title: Love & Bullets
Author: MissScorp
Media: Comics
Topic: Batman
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: Chapter 9
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

What do you need us for? count: 12

Dick is a dick count: 7

Bullet count: 0

Hello, once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BadJamags…

GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back for more of Love & Bullets, the fic where I’ve literally lost count of how many chapters it’s been since the plot moved forward. So far, the format has just been:

Someone points out something entirely logical.

A pointless flashback meant to counter their point happens, but fails to actually address the point.

A cliffhanger happens that doesn’t actually lead to anything different from what we’ve been seeing this whole time.

GoodJamags: So, let’s hope that chapter nine will actually do something.

If it does, it’ll be after the canned author’s note.

GoodJamags: And the line break! Don’t forget the line break!

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1751: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Twenty, Part Two

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Hey guys!  Welcome back to Heroes and Villains, the fic with more nothing in it than any other fic!

“Not to mention more pointless references!”

Yes, there is that.  Last time?

“Four words, Taco: Compulsory Physical Fitness Program!”

Wasn’t there also something about Vampire the Masquerade?

“Crazy vampires have the best bling, and Mr. Red wants it.”

Right, how could I forgot.  Onward to part two!  And, as promised, it’s all about team Buffy.

“Talking to each other.”

But of course.

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1750: Love & Bullets – Chapter Eight, Part Two

Title: Love & Bullets
Author: MissScorp
Media: Comics
Topic: Batman
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: Chapter 8
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

What do you need us for? count: 10

Dick is a dick count: 7

Bullet count: 0

Hello, once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BadJamags…

GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back for more of Love & Bullets.

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1748: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Three, Part Two

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by Angie

Hey guys, gals and non binary pals! My name is Angie, and today we’re venturing through the final bit of chapter three of Brego’s Mistress.

Yay?

I can’t even pretend that this is going to be a pleasant experience. Sit back, let’s see.

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