1777: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Twenty-Two, Part One

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Hey, everyone!  Welcome back to Heroes and Villains, the fic that dares name itself after two groups of people that it doesn’t portray!

“Not so much as an Awesome McEvil.”

I was going to do a recap, but, honestly, all that you need to know is sunlight, fire, and decapitation.  You know, in general.

“I live my life by that motto!”

Don’t wanna know.  Let’s jump in, shall we?

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1776: Popo, Star-Spawn of Cthulhu – Chapter 2

Title: Popo, Star-Spawn of Cthulhu
Author: William Ungerstein Fmerigo
Media: Books
Topic: H. P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos
Genre: Horror/Supernatural
URL:  Chapter 2
Critiqued by
: AdmiralSakai and Guard-Novitiate Psk’nyor “Nina” C’hon

Hello hello all you patrons!

Today we return with more of Popo, Star-Spawn of Cthulhu, William Ungerstein Fmergio’s disastrous attempt to turn H. P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos into a high-school AU.

Yes.

Really.”

Last time we were introduced to Popo Spawn-of-Cthulhu-the-Cancerous-Tentacled-Blemish-on-the-Cosmos-Birther-of-Maggots-and-Vermin, a high-school girl who is somehow also the direct biological offspring of a building-sized Great Old One. She managed to starve herself to death in the middle of a populated city after her parents went on vacation and somehow transferred their mortgage into her name…

… and was promptly somehow resurrected by Great Cthulhu to serve as His ‘champion’ in a ‘war’ with basically every other inhabitant of the Mythos (which would be fought entirely by solo human representatives because apparently the Great Old Ones suddenly care about the Prime Directive for some glubbing reason).”

This resulted in her increasing a cup size and her hair turning green. That’s literally it.

So she went back to her human secondary school and basically continued business as glubbing usual, although she also tried to look up Great Cthulhu in the library and can’t find anything until another young female named Hanako pointed her directly to the works of H. P. Lovecraft himself (whose existence inside what me and the other Mythos types call ‘reality’ still makes my head hurt). A little later Hanako turned into some sort of cross-between-a-Deep-One-and-a-Black-Sabbath-album-cover thing and tried to strangle Popo to death in the name of Father Dagon. I for one was completely onboard with that, but then Hanako got killed by some other girl named Natasha who used the plague-based (?) powers given to her by Nyarlathotep to climb out of Hanako’s shadow and dissolve her where she stood.”

And if any of this sounds actually interesting to you, just imagine it being related in prose more appropriate for the troubleshooting manual of a cordless drill.

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1775: Betrayal – Author’s Note and Chapter Two

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Lyle

Hello, lovelies!  After some consideration (not a whole lot, mind you, just some) I’m dropping SONIC HIGH SCHOOL.  It was sapping my will to live and just wasn’t funny anymore.  So good riddance to the trollfic.  Let’s get back to the crackfic I’m doing, instead!

Last time, Sakura ran into Ino, who was turned into a moss-covered cat.  Ino told Sakura that she has a demon inside of her and then Sakura fake-exploded, the author threw a random-ass note into the middle of the fic explaining that Sakura didn’t actually explode, made fun of Ino, and then resumed the story.  Sakura decides to follow Ino’s advice of skipping town and we find out that Ino is actually serving a dark master (that the author reveals in her author’s notes to be Madara Uchiha, because what the hell is suspense and mystery about, right?)

With that, let’s start the next chapter, which is really an author’s note, because Darksakudragon doesn’t put enough author’s notes before, during, halfway through, and at the end of the prose as it is.

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1774: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Five

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Five
Critiqued by Angie

Howdy, patrons!

Brego’s Mistress, leggo!

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1773: Slender and Reader: Lost in the Woods : Chapter 1

 

Title: Slender and Reader: Lost in the Woods
Author: Pockypokemongirl
Media: Video Game/Creepypasta
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Horror
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

I’m here with a little fic from the Slender: The Eight Pages section of ff.net – and it’s a Reader fic! Because you know how “fun” those fics are. Lucky for you fabulous Patrons, I decided against riffing any of the Slender Man hardcore erotica (which is apparently called “Slendtai”) Reader fics.

Yes, that is really a thing. No, you should not Google it.

Anyway, lets take a look at the summary for this particular fic;

Reader x Slenderman Your mom and you were in Germany for a trip but things turn into a supernatural encounter because of an accident. Hey since due to the fans I wrote more for you guys enjoy! Tweaked the second chap for yah.

While I do enjoy travelling with my mother, I doubt we would take a trip to Germany by ourselves – primarily because neither one of us knows any German, which would probably hamper our enjoyment.

Hello. Spring break is here so I’ll be posting here and there, so my main thing now is I should have written a Slenderman thing long ago this might be a story hope you like.

Well, that was pointless – but at least it was short. Let’s hope the trend continues!

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1772: Love & Bullets – Chapter Eleven

Title: Love & Bullets
Author: MissScorp
Media: Comics
Topic: Batman
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: Chapter 11
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

What do you need us for? count: 12

Bullet count: 0

Dick is a dick count: 9

Hello, once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BadJamags…

GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back for more of Love & Bullets, the fic that’s finally almost fucking over. This chapter is called “Marry me,” so presumably something will actually happen. But of course there’s an epilogue after this. There just had to be a fucking epilogue, because otherwise the fic would end.

GoodJamags: Let’s just skip the canned author’s note and jump right in.

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1771: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Twenty-One, Part Two

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Heyo, patrons!  Are you all ready for another installment of Heroes and Villains!?

Too bad, we’re doing it anyway.  I’m super busy dealing with all the ransomware fallout this week, so we’re just going to jump right in without any more preamble.

“Did you know that apparently Malkavians can’t be killed with stakes?” Willow asked the others, showing them the page in the book she was reading.

“Yes.  It’s been mentioned several times now.”

I changed my mind, can we go back to doing a preamble?

“Too late, keep going!”

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