Hello, dear Patrons!
I’m here with a little oneshot I stumbled across in the Monsters, Inc. section that bills itself as a Romance/Fantasy fic – and it’s a Reader fic! You know how fun those are.
As a special treat Syl is making book in the North Atrium; you can bet on which of your beloved childhood characters you, the reader, will soon be making out with! Or even which canon character will be making out with another character, if that’s more your thing. Because if you’re going to be emotionally scarred by a fic you might as well get some cash out of it.
Now for those of you who aren’t familiar with the Monsters, Inc movies – welcome to Earth! Please do not eat my brain or cats.
But just in case you’re not an alien, here’s the very short version; Monsters, Inc tells the story of a parallel world of monsters that is in many respects a mirror of the human world. The monsters have discovered a way to use closet doors as portals to travel to the human world, where they frighten children in order to harvest their screams for energy. This is considered incredibly dangerous, because children are seen as exceptionally toxic and supposedly can kill with a single touch. Of course a little girl ( called Boo, which is the only thing she can say) manages to cross over into the monster world, where she meets Sully (James P. Sullivan) and his friend Mike Wazowski.
Hijinks ensue and the guys discover that humans aren’t toxic but instead taste just like chicken! (No, not really; there’s a bit about how laughter is more powerful than screams, or something.) Way too many years later there was a prequel released, Monsters University, that details how Sully and Mike first met while in Scare School, which is an expy for the human college experience.
Now, on to the fic!
Hey there, patrons! Since I just got back from a vacation and am in the process of digging myself out of a large pile of things that built up while I was away, this week we’re going to tackle a small, terrible little one-shot I dug up out of the Earthbound section of FF.net.
The summary pretty much speaks for itself, so let’s start there.
Lura is taken from her home near Tazmily Village to serve the needs of New Pork City. However, things don’t go exactly to the Pigmasks’ plans…
The reason this speaks for itself is that there is no “Lura” in any of the Earthbound games, let alone Mother 3, the one that has Tazmily Village in it. Yes, patrons, we’ve got an OC on our hands as the featured character. And given that Lura is only one letter off from the first four letters of the author’s moniker, well, you can pretty much see where this is going.
Title: Five Nights at Freddy’s x reader character x character oc x oc
Media: Video Game
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s (allegedly)
URL Chapter 1
URL Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat
—CONTAINS GRAPHIC SCENES INVOLVING SELF-HARM AND REFERENCES TO SUICIDE—
Hello, dear Patrons!
Are you ready for another oneshot? And this one’s a Reader fic! From the Five Nights at Freddy’s canon!
:waits patiently for the screams to subside:
Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, let’s move on to the first chapter.
It’s not really a chapter, though, just a long form of some kind.
Here is the form
See what I mean?
If it’s oc x oc (Do this for both of them)
If it’s character x oc
Character (That your oc has a crush on)-
If it’s character x character
Now, I’m familiar with the standard abbreviations used in Reader fics (like [h/c] for hair color) but this is far more extensive. Not only is the author asking the audience to provide physical characteristics, but also things like their personality, their love interest, even an antagonist. The audience is, in essence, being told to write a full character and plot summary before they begin the fic. If the audience is going to do all of this, what’s left for the author to do?
It is quite telling that the versions for canon characters don’t ask for as much information, since presumably the only thing you need to describe a canon character’s personality and appearance is just their name.
On to the first and only chapter! It’s titled Bonnie x Reader-Loving you is suicide, which is setting off all sorts of alarm bells. Read the rest of this entry »
I literally have no idea what the hell I am riffing today. I really don’t.
I’ve read this entire fic twice and I honestly cannot say with any certainty what this is besides a troll/crackfic. That is the only reason I have for why anyone would cross Dora the Explorer – a children’s show about learning Spanish words alongside cute adventures involving sentient hiking equipment – with a story as intense and lore-heavy as The Lord of the Rings trilogy. This may be as weird as crossing Frozen with the Dead Space series. Or The Lion King with Star Wars and the events of World War II.
So… Let’s get this thing going, shall we?
~WARNING: THE INFODUMP IS REAL. BE PREPARED.~
Specs: You know, the last time I helped you riff a Fire Emblem fic, I remember getting really, really mad. This one had better not suck this time.
Pfft, or what? You’ll cut my head off like you did to Contacts?
*Specs stands SC up, then enters a boxing stance; Specs then punches him in the face, follows up with a sharp kick to the liver, and finishes by driving an uppercut into SC’s face while he’s doubled over*
Contacts: Wow. What martial arts style was that?
Specs: I dunno. I just did that to Sportsy once in a melee-only sparring match.
[I still can’t bend at the waist without it hurting, fucker. -Sports Shades]
Good morning, everyone! Welcome back to “The war of O’khasis!” I’m so very sorry.
Lina: I’m not. We get to finish this thing today. *hands Lyle a hot drink and finds her seat before sipping her own steaming beverage*
That’s very true. *takes a sip* Bubbles is getting experimental with the nutmeg.
Lina: He’s really trying to get me to promote him to the R&D department.
…You have R&D for your coffee cart?
Lina: Naturally. Why wouldn’t I? We have to come up with new drinks somehow.
I suppose you’re right… anyway, let’s get on with the riff. Now that you’re all caught up, would you care to recap?
Lina: *sips her drink* Last time there were sporadic quotation marks, stupidity, and horse head masks. *sips again* Did I miss anything?
Sadly, no. Let’s do this!
Hello, lovelies! Guess what? Our author finally realized she had mistaken the name “Mulan” with the word “Minecraft” and moved the fic to the proper area!
Lina: Or the moderators got off their thumbs and did it for her when they realized what a doorknob they were dealing with.
Given how lazy the FF.net moderators are, it’s kind of a toss-up on which one of those is correct. Either way, the fic is now listed as Minecraft on the site. It’s also listed as “complete.” Including today, we have two chapters and an author’s note posted as a chapter left to go. Would you care to do the recap? You’ve been gone for a bit.
Lina: To tell you the truth, I’ve been so busy at the shop that I have no clue what’s going on in this one.
Well, you honestly haven’t missed much. This won’t take long to get you up to speed. Racheal is a princess who likes to climb trees. Her father, who is also a kingdom, tells her they’re in great danger because werewolves have teamed up with bandits and are going to attack their city. Racheal sneaks out with a character blob and they go into a forest to have a pointless conversation with a thief-girl about the issue before returning home. Racheal goes to bed and gets woken up by one of the guards because the castle is on fire(?) and being bombed by the enemy. Instead of evacuating the castle for someplace potentially safer, they bring everyone from the town into the castle and have a mattress sleepover party in the *snort* lobby of the castle. All while the castle is in danger of falling down all around them. Also, PapaCity is really bad at battle tactics.
Chapter four is slightly longer than the others at a whopping 1500 words so lets get started.