- Title: The Frozen Nightwatch
Media: Video Game/Movie
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Frozen
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Ghostcat
Hello, and welcome to the third (and so far last) chapter!
At the end of the last chapter – which was full of the dry recitation of the deaths of many, many citizens of Arendelle as well as a gross cold and soggy chocolate pancake/whole strawberry/whipped non-dairy product sandwich – Anna read Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza ad in the newspaper and immediately decided that it was the perfect job for her despite the opposite being true.
On to the fic!
Oh, look; a time stamp. :eye-twitch: Awesome. Just what the fic needed.
Hello, and welcome back to another chapter of potential trollfic! In the last chapter we were presented with the implausible scenario of the entire country of Arendelle moving to Portland, Oregon followed by an exceptionally dull play-by-play of some of the gameplay mechanics.
Never have I prayed so fervently for a jumpscare.
On to the fic!
# -Back at the sisters’ house, Saturday, March 17, 1983- #
Yay, another time-stamp. And it’s one that reminds me of a gritty crime drama, which is going to put a weird cast on things.
Anna lay in her bed, snuggled up in her bed sheets with her red hair all messed up.
A nice warm bed with a built-in snuggle buddy sounds pretty damn good.
She then woke to a familiar smell.
This is why you shouldn’t have spicy foods before bed.
Yeah, right; I’m sure it was ‘chocolate’ that she was smelling.
She blinked open her sleepy eyes, and smelled the scent of chocolate getting heavier.
Someone open a window before she melts the wallpaper!
She sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes with her right hand as to get the bits of sleep out. She was now wide awake.
Anna wakes up a lot faster than I do, and I usually have several hungry cats wanting my attention to help me out.
‘Is Elsa cooking something?’ she thought to herself.
Or the house could be made out of chocolate and is also on fire. But your hypothesis is good, too.
Title: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Media: Video Game / Television
Topic: Alvin and the Chipmunks / Diablo
URL: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Critiqued by TacoMagic
Gonna be in for a bit of a short one today. I feel like death warmed over, so I decided I needed a little pile of fail rather than a heap. That’s when I remembered I had something in my stack that fits the bill.
It’s also a hot mess, so this should be fun. But, what else can you really expect for a Diablo / Alvin and the Chipmunks crossover.
No, you did not read that wrong. On a better day I’d give infodumps of both those canons, but today is not a better day and, frankly, the canons won’t provide any context to help this thing.
So how hot of a mess is it? Well…
A story based on the famous first game diablo Grant a general for a war fought by a king soon gives him and his group that has worked along side him for so long to now find out what is going on in a small town called Tristram but of what they find is shocking it will send them to the depths of hell to vanquish it as there will be many twists and turns from the church to Hell R&R
You’ll probably notice right off the bat that sentences aren’t a strong point of this author.
Hello, everyone! Happy Monday and welcome back to Betrayal. Last time we went through this fic, a lot of cracked-out stupid happened. There was something about Sakura summoning her demon creature who may or may not have killed Ino and then ate her. Neji was overpowered by Sakura and then everyone had a party in the hospital while Neji admitted to Sakura kissing him. This is a bid deal because blue.
I’ve been under the weather lately, so hopefully this chapter doesn’t kill me. Let’s do it.
Koori: Hello everyone! Miss Lyle is at work today – and tomorrow for that matter – in order to get a five-day weekend that starts on Friday, we will be handling the riff today.
Lina: A five-day weekend would just be a week off, there, Perky.
Koori: Not listening! So last time on this piece of crap, there was a confrontation of sorts between Sakura and a bunch of ANBU that aren’t actually ANBU. Bascially, the author just name-dropped enough of the main characters to try to appear as if she’s actually seen the show or read the manga. By the end of the chapter, Sakura summoned something.
Lina: Don’t forget about the copious author’s notes scattered throughout this thing, too. Those have been as much fun as pulling teeth.
Hello, lovelies! After some consideration (not a whole lot, mind you, just some) I’m dropping SONIC HIGH SCHOOL. It was sapping my will to live and just wasn’t funny anymore. So good riddance to the trollfic. Let’s get back to the crackfic I’m doing, instead!
Last time, Sakura ran into Ino, who was turned into a moss-covered cat. Ino told Sakura that she has a demon inside of her and then Sakura fake-exploded, the author threw a random-ass note into the middle of the fic explaining that Sakura didn’t actually explode, made fun of Ino, and then resumed the story. Sakura decides to follow Ino’s advice of skipping town and we find out that Ino is actually serving a dark master (that the author reveals in her author’s notes to be Madara Uchiha, because what the hell is suspense and mystery about, right?)
With that, let’s start the next chapter, which is really an author’s note, because Darksakudragon doesn’t put enough author’s notes before, during, halfway through, and at the end of the prose as it is.
I’m sorry. I’m so, so very sorry. I can’t apologize enough for what I’m about to subject you to, my poor lovelies. Welcome to “Betrayal.”
“Betrayal” hails from the Naruto section of ff.net. Koori has been conspicuously absent since I mentioned I was going to look into riffing this fic, but I’m sure she’ll show up periodically to rage at the story for it’s numerous inaccuracies. I won’t bother infodumping before we get started since I’ve done Naruto fics in here before.
Let’s dive in.