1775: Betrayal – Author’s Note and Chapter Two

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Lyle

Hello, lovelies!  After some consideration (not a whole lot, mind you, just some) I’m dropping SONIC HIGH SCHOOL.  It was sapping my will to live and just wasn’t funny anymore.  So good riddance to the trollfic.  Let’s get back to the crackfic I’m doing, instead!

Last time, Sakura ran into Ino, who was turned into a moss-covered cat.  Ino told Sakura that she has a demon inside of her and then Sakura fake-exploded, the author threw a random-ass note into the middle of the fic explaining that Sakura didn’t actually explode, made fun of Ino, and then resumed the story.  Sakura decides to follow Ino’s advice of skipping town and we find out that Ino is actually serving a dark master (that the author reveals in her author’s notes to be Madara Uchiha, because what the hell is suspense and mystery about, right?)

With that, let’s start the next chapter, which is really an author’s note, because Darksakudragon doesn’t put enough author’s notes before, during, halfway through, and at the end of the prose as it is.

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1769: Betrayal – Chapter One

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Lyle

I’m sorry.  I’m so, so very sorry.  I can’t apologize enough for what I’m about to subject you to, my poor lovelies.  Welcome to “Betrayal.”

“Betrayal” hails from the Naruto section of ff.net.  Koori has been conspicuously absent since I mentioned I was going to look into riffing this fic, but I’m sure she’ll show up periodically to rage at the story for it’s numerous inaccuracies.  I won’t bother infodumping before we get started since I’ve done Naruto fics in here before.

Let’s dive in.

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1707: Parties are for flirting – Oneshot

 

Title: Parties are for flirting
Author: Mythicallover42
Media: Movie
Topic: Monsters, Inc
Genre: Romance/Fantasy
URL Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

I’m here with a little oneshot I stumbled across in the Monsters, Inc. section that bills itself as a Romance/Fantasy fic – and it’s a Reader fic! You know how fun those are.

As a special treat Syl is making book in the North Atrium; you can bet on which of your beloved childhood characters you, the reader, will soon be making out with! Or even which canon character will be making out with another character, if that’s more your thing. Because if you’re going to be emotionally scarred by a fic you might as well get some cash out of it.

Now for those of you who aren’t familiar with the Monsters, Inc movies – welcome to Earth! Please do not eat my brain or cats.

But just in case you’re not an alien, here’s the very short version; Monsters, Inc tells the story of a parallel world of monsters that is in many respects a mirror of the human world. The monsters have discovered a way to use closet doors as portals to travel to the human world, where they frighten children in order to harvest their screams for energy. This is considered incredibly dangerous, because children are seen as exceptionally toxic and supposedly can kill with a single touch. Of course a little girl ( called Boo, which is the only thing she can say) manages to cross over into the monster world, where she meets Sully (James P. Sullivan) and his friend Mike Wazowski.

This is Sully and Mike. Do not picture them making out with each other.

Hijinks ensue and the guys discover that humans aren’t toxic but instead taste just like chicken! (No, not really; there’s a bit about how laughter is more powerful than screams, or something.) Way too many years later there was a prequel released, Monsters University, that details how Sully and Mike first met while in Scare School, which is an expy for the human college experience.

Now, on to the fic!

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1686: The Masked Man and the Girl – Oneshot

Title: The Masked Man and the Girl
Author: Lunaiasu
Media: Video Game
Topic: EarthBound
Genre: Friendship/Fantasy
URL: The Masked Man and the Girl
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey there, patrons!  Since I just got back from a vacation and am in the process of digging myself out of a large pile of things that built up while I was away, this week we’re going to tackle a small, terrible little one-shot I dug up out of the Earthbound section of FF.net.

The summary pretty much speaks for itself, so let’s start there.

Lura is taken from her home near Tazmily Village to serve the needs of New Pork City. However, things don’t go exactly to the Pigmasks’ plans…

The reason this speaks for itself is that there is no “Lura” in any of the Earthbound games, let alone Mother 3, the one that has Tazmily Village in it.  Yes, patrons, we’ve got an OC on our hands as the featured character.  And given that Lura is only one letter off from the first four letters of the author’s moniker, well, you can pretty much see where this is going.

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1675: Five Nights at Freddy’s x reader character x character oc x oc – Oneshot

Title: Five Nights at Freddy’s x reader character x character oc x oc
Author: Snake04398
Media: Video Game
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s (allegedly)
Genre: Horror/Fantasy
URL Chapter 1
URL Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat 

 

 

—TRIGGER WARNING—

—CONTAINS GRAPHIC SCENES INVOLVING SELF-HARM AND REFERENCES TO SUICIDE—

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

Are you ready for another oneshot? And this one’s a Reader fic! From the Five Nights at Freddy’s canon!

:waits patiently for the screams to subside:

Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, let’s move on to the first chapter.

It’s not really a chapter, though, just a long form of some kind.

Here is the form

See what I mean?

If it’s oc x oc (Do this for both of them)
Name-
Appearance-
Gender-
Age-
Personality-
Friends-
Enemys-
Other-
Plot-

If it’s character x oc

Name-
Appearance-
Gender-
Age-
Personality-
Friends-
Enemys-
Other-
Character (That your oc has a crush on)-
Plot-

If it’s character x character

Character 1-
Character 2-
Plot-

Now, I’m familiar with the standard abbreviations used in Reader fics (like [h/c] for hair color) but this is far more extensive. Not only is the author asking the audience to provide physical characteristics, but also things like their personality, their love interest, even an antagonist. The audience is, in essence, being told to write a full character and plot summary before they begin the fic. If the audience is going to do all of this, what’s left for the author to do?

It is quite telling that the versions for canon characters don’t ask for as much information, since presumably the only thing you need to describe a canon character’s personality and appearance is just their name.

On to the first and only chapter! It’s titled Bonnie x Reader-Loving you is suicide, which is setting off all sorts of alarm bells. Read the rest of this entry »


1544: Dora of the Rings – One Shot

Title: Dora of the Rings
Author: Jasonbobdude
Media: Television/Books/Movie
Topic: Dora the Explorer and Lord of the Rings
Genre: Poetry and Fantasy
URL: Dora of the Rings
Critiqued by KittyNoodles

I literally have no idea what the hell I am riffing today. I really don’t.

I’ve read this entire fic twice and I honestly cannot say with any certainty what this is besides a troll/crackfic. That is the only reason I have for why anyone would cross Dora the Explorer – a children’s show about learning Spanish words alongside cute adventures involving sentient hiking equipment – with a story as intense and lore-heavy as The Lord of the Rings trilogy. This may be as weird as crossing Frozen with the Dead Space series. Or The Lion King with Star Wars and the events of World War II.

So… Let’s get this thing going, shall we?

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1542: Corrin’s Reunion with her Sister – Oneshot (WARNING: Long)

Title:Corrin’s Reunion with her Sister
Author: Maria65
Media: Video Game
Topic: Fire Emblem
Genre: Family/Fantasy
URL: Fic
Critiqued by SC, Specs and Contacts

~WARNING: THE INFODUMP IS REAL. BE PREPARED.~

Specs: You know, the last time I helped you riff a Fire Emblem fic, I remember getting really, really mad. This one had better not suck this time.

Pfft, or what? You’ll cut my head off like you did to Contacts?

*Specs stands SC up, then enters a boxing stance; Specs then punches him in the face, follows up with a sharp kick to the liver, and finishes by driving an uppercut into SC’s face while he’s doubled over*

…Ow…

Contacts: Wow. What martial arts style was that?

Specs: I dunno. I just did that to Sportsy once in a melee-only sparring match.

[I still can’t bend at the waist without it hurting, fucker. -Sports Shades]

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