2454: Spooptoberfest Guest Submission: Everyone Is Mutated!

Title: Everyone Is Mutated!
Author: JacquIreBriggs
Media: Video Game
Topic: Super Smash Bros.
Genre: …Adventure/Horror? …let’s go with that, sure.
URL: Edgy Lifelight and Prologue/Chapter 2
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura

(This is Halloween plays over the speakers. Elysium bursts into the room, dressed as Link and carrying a fake Master Sword.)

Elysium: *swinging the Master Sword* Ha! Hyah! HAAAAAAppy Halloween, patrons!

…I hope it’s still October. I have NO idea when this’ll go up.

Anyway! I WAS going to use this fic for when we reach the halfway point of Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros., buuuuuuut it clearly WANTS to be a horror fic (despite the fact that it isn’t tagged as horror), and it has mutants, so it counts!

*looks at the doorway* ‘Mura, come on, we talked about this.

Rimura: *muffled* I’m not going in there.

Elysium: Why?

Rimura: I hate this thrice-damned costume!

Elysium: Oh, come on! This is the last time you’ll have to wear it, you can suck it up!

Rimura:*sigh*

(Rimura enters the room, dressed like Princess Zelda.)

Rimura: This had better not get on any social media.

Elysium: I make no promises.

Anyway! Let’s just jump right into it: Everyone is Mutated! by JacquIreBriggs.

Roll tape!

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2442: Book of Digimon – Chapter Three

Title: The Book of Digimon rewrite
Author: MarkoRagnos629
Media: Kids Shows
Topic: Star Wars, Digimon, And the Bible
Genre: Self Insert Power Fantasy
URL: The Book of Digimon rewrite
Critiqued by Zeus, Martinov Petra, And Thomas Svarti.

*Recording starts up*

Zeus: What do you mean there’s a creepypasta character in the storage room?!

Nimitz: *via holoprojector* I don’t know. One day, a fire team got banished, and now I’m escorting the ghost of a 6 year old through the lower levels.

Zeus: *slaps self* Well, try to find a good spot. I’ll send you a story that you can tear apart with her. Zeus out.

Now, where were we?

*clears throat*

Okay, so here’s the 3rd and final chapter of the Book of Digimon. And honestly, I can’t wait to get this done. Last time, everyone ended up in heaven somehow, either because they got teleported (Barriss) or had access to a goddamned inter dimensional portal (the Jedi)

Svarti: While recent tales suggest something like that is plausible, it doesn’t work like that.

Martinov: So you’re buying the time travel stuff too?

Zeus: Regardless of all this, when we left off, Kallig offered the Jedi some refreshments.

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2438: The Legend of Zelda: Jurassic Encounters – Chapter 1 – Oneshot

Title: The Legend of Zelda: Jurassic Encounters
Author: Haninator
Media: Movie/Game
Topic: Legend of Zelda/Jurassic Park/Kitchen Sink
Genre: Adventure/Horror
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

As the wonderful wonkiness that is my previous fic hasn’t updated yet, I’ve decided to squeeze in a oneshot before embarking on our traditional Spooktober festivities – which for me usually means Slendpai fics. I can’t say that there won’t be sexy Slendpai shenanigans, because I haven’t actually picked out my fics yet, but I also can’t not say there won’t be sexy shenanigans because sweet mercy do people love writing Slendpai tentacle rape fics.

So. Many. Tentacles.

And on that note, let’s take a look at the summary for this fic, which does not have any tentacle rape in it. I think. It’s been a while since I read through it.

A familiar story with a fun twist and a character from another world. What could possibly go wrong. All dialogue is my creation. The story is mine, the characters aren’t… with the exception of select few. Rated T for flesh-ripping dinos.

That doesn’t sound all that bad … Wait, flesh-ripping dinos? I thought this was supposed to be a Zelda fic?

SHINOBI-SAN!

:suddenly a ninja that was always there appears:

I think you brought me the wrong fic, this is supposed to be a Zelda fic.

:whispering:

Crossover? With … WHAT?!?

So it appears that someone wrote a Legend of Zelda/Jurassic Park crossover, which is the second-weirdest crossover I’ve ever heard of.

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2436: MediEvil Oneshots

Title: A Dog’s Loyalty
Author: Top-Hat Lycanthrope
Media: Video Game
Topic: MediEvil
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Friendship
URL: A Dog’s Loyalty
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons, welcome back to Wednesday!  With the Library’s official unofficial Spooptacular on the horizon, I thought I’d start getting us in the mood by savaging a few fics based on the MediEvil franchise.

For those who haven’t been exposed to it, MediEvil is a set of two Playstation games released in 1998 and 2000.  There is technically a third game, MediEvil: Resurrection released in 2005, but it’s a re-imagining of the first game and not really a fresh entry to the series.  The games follow the comedic exploits of Sir Daniel Fortesque, a charlatan knight who is killed by the first arrow fired in the only battle he ever participated in, and his quest for posthumous redemption by saving the kingdom from the evil wizard Zarok.

Actually, the game does a fair job of introducing itself, so why don’t I just let it do that.

Despite some control flaws, it’s a great little game that combines a hack-n-slash beat-em-up style game such as Gauntlet Legends or Diablo with exploration and puzzling as found in Legend of Zelda.  There is also a remaster of the first game coming out in October that I’d be more excited about if it wasn’t a PS4 exclusive.  So it goes.

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2435: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed By The Protagonists) — Chapter 6 Part 2

Title: Mass Effect: The First War
Author: ProfFartBurger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War, which may at some point have had something vaguely to do with Mass Effect.

Last time, some random Marines who refused to surrender on Roof engaged in a convoluted process to get a signal back to Earth informing their friends that the planet had been invaded.

You know, it just occurred to me that this seems like a bit of an unnecessary objective for the Marines to even be pursuing. Since system-to-system communication is pretty easy for the humans and there were previously established to be news and personal messages being sent back and forth routinely, one would think that just the prolonged silence of the planet would cause Earth to send in an expeditionary force to check it out pretty quickly without anyone on Roof even needing to do anything.

Also ‘Roof’ is still a terrible name for a planet.

Either way, the message had the unfortunate side effect of informing the turians of Earth’s location, so now they’re gearing up for a full-scale assault.

first_war_bb_8

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2432: Book of Digimon – Chapter Two

Title: The Book of Digimon rewrite
Author: MarkoRagnos629
Media: Kids Shows
Topic: Star Wars, Digimon, And the Bible
Genre: Self Insert Power Fantasy
URL: The Book of Digimon rewrite
Critiqued by Zeus, Martinov Petra, And Thomas Svarti.

*recording starts up*

Zeus: Hello again, we’re continuing the riff of “Book of Digimon.” To sum up the last two parts-a caricature of the Old Republic decided to send Barriss Office to the slave pens of Tatooine (despite knowing damn well what it’s like). Then two OC/Self Inserts came in, and somehow made the fic worse by not only including SWTOR references, along with being overpowered to the point that even Starkiller would’ve been reasonable, but there were implications that God was involved in the creation of the TRUE CODE of the Jedi. 

And there were Digimon, but when you screw up Star Wars to the degree of Bright, nobody really cares at that point.

Martinov: Not to mention that everyone was out of character. And a chump.

Svarti: And the less said about the light show, the better.

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2430: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed By The Protagonists) — Chapter 6 Part 1

Title: Mass Effect: The First War
Author: ProfFartBurger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War, which I’m pretty sure is up to its second war now or possibly even third  but I am very sure has something to do with Mass Effect.

Previously, thanks to a tip by some mustache-twirling batarians, the turians finally managed to track down the Migrant Fleet on Roof, and save said batarians from complete extermination at the hands of the quarians. The quarians, indignant over the interruption of their latest unprovoked mass murder of civilian targets, called in their human pals and tried to attack the turians. Again.

This actually went about as well as you would reasonably expect- to quote Ross Scott, shooting the cops in fact means they just send a lot more cops, and with literally thousands of turian ships pouring into the system the Alliance’s ass was resoundingly kicked. Turian troops even landed on Roof’s surface, but then the Alliance decided to use shitty knockoff orbital nukes to kill everyone– turians, quarians, human civilians, and whatever else- rather than allow filthy alien feet to desecrate their sacred soil.

Unsurprisingly, this left the Hierarchy more than a little pissed.

first_war_bb_8

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