2361: Diary of an Outsider – Chapter 1

 

Author: IMakeBadPuns
Media: Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another short little fic I found while wandering Skyrim’s section of ff.net. It’s not a crossover with anything, but it does have “diary” in the title which usually indicates a transcription of a character’s gameplay. Let’s check out the summary!

This is a set of diary entries following one of my Skyrim characters, a female Bosmer named Eira Bowmaster. I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this, but I feel like Eira might form strong friendships (maybe more) with Lydia, Aela and a couple more characters. We’ll just have to see where this goes. Rated T, might change back to M if it gets too violent.

I’m inferring a couple of things from this; this is the author transcribing their gameplay, probably as they go and without planning out any sort of coherent narrative, but they might want to add in some yuri bits and/or fanservice featuring a few of the female characters from the game or just want to make it seem that way as a kind of clickbait.

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2360: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

And we’re back!  Two more chunks of this chapter to go and then I can spend a few weeks pallet cleansing with one-shots.  But until then, we’ve got some work to do.  Crunchy?

“Hmm?  Oh, apologies, I was just distracted by this article in the Zora Gazette.  According to this, a new class-action suit has been filed against WaterBnB Inc regarding unclear, misleading, and falsified occupancy and bed count information in their reservation system.  If successful, claimants would be compensated one pro-rated heroic feat per reservation.”

Huh, well I guess we don’t really need an unhelpful recap.  Let’s jump back into the highschool romance already in progress.

“Must we?”

Well, it’s what we’re here for.

Link nodded, suddenly hearing the click of the door lock behind him, and he stilled at the knowledge that he was sharing a room with Ashei.

Speaking of… where was…?

“What do you want to eat?” Came a voice off to the left of him.

Gah!  Shit, not only does this room not have enough beds, but it’s got a disembodied voice too!?

“Some have been know to pay extra for haunted lodgings.”

‘Some’ are bad with money.

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2354: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty, Part One

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Whew, here we are, the last chapter before my one-shot break.  And this chapter is certainly going to be something.  And by something, I mean a whole lotta nothing.

But first, recap!

“Affectionate tentacle beast looks for love in all the wrong places.”

Perfect.  Onwards to… whatever the hell this chapter is.  Well, after she’s done disclaiming and gushing at us in another author’s note.

Disclaimer: I’d make some sort of joke here, but I’ve run out of them. I don’t own any of this (except the plot and a few characters).

“Is she suggesting that the previous disclaimers were supposed to be funny?”

Well, she’s implying that they were supposed to be jokes.  Maybe they’re the kind of jokes that are supposed to be more sad than funny.

Also, Vikki, in order to own the plot you would have needed to create your own.

Yay, I’m back!

Yaaaaaaaaay.  *Twirls finger*

Sorry it took so long, I just had people (family mostly) requesting that I draw a bunch of things, and so that took time away from this.

We don’t care.

But, since this is now up I’m finally back in business, and so now it’s time to get a move on through some more character development and (hopefully) the Bottom of the Well!

Spoiler:  Her pacing is so slow she doesn’t make it to the side-quest.

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2352: SUECOM: Mirror Image – Chapter 1, Part 2

Minh Header 06 10 2019

STARRING:

WILLIAM SHATNER CRAZY MINH as CAPTAIN KIRK CRAZY MINH

And

LENOARD NIMOY as COMMANDER SPOCK SIR-NOT-APPEARING-IN-THIS-RIFF-‘CAUSE-HE’S-DEAD (Ethan bloody Peck is #Notmyspock)

Title: XSGCOM Mirror Image
Author: Hotpoint
Topic: X-COM: UFO Defence/Stargate SG1
Media: Video game/TV show
Genre: Adventure
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3631062/1/XSGCOM_Mirror_Image
Critiqued By Crazy Minh

Hello patrons, and welcome back to ‘SUECOM: Mirror Image’, alternatively titled ‘XSGCOM: Mirror Image’ or ‘XSGCOM: Goa’uld Defence’! I’m your guest riffer Crazy Minh, and today we tackle the second part of chapter one. Last time on this trainwreck of a badfic, X-COM were introduced as the story’s Gary Stumanity analogue; some bumblefuck Jaffa got their asses wrecked to showcase how X-COM has no sense of tact or restraint; and I got so mad that the Bongo’s FHRPAEH magazines were depleted in a prolonged barrage of rocket-propelled hammers! Now, we resume our story just where we left off; from the perspective of a captive Jaffa, who I feel very, very sorry for…

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2349: Pokemon The Kanto Harem Chronicles – Chapters 19, 20, and 21

Title: Pokemon The Kanto Harem Chronicles
Author: Prince Sonic WindStriker
Media: Video Game
Topic: Pokemon
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter Nineteen, Twenty, and Twenty-One
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

WARNING: This fanfiction contains several NSFW elements, including possible scenes of sexual activity with a minor. I do plan on skipping over all portions of the fic with underage sexual activity, but reader discretion is HIGHLY advised.

Ladies and gentlemen, get out the party hats and break out the champagne bottles. Guess what time it is?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the end of this sack of shit!

So yeah, this is a very momentous occasion in this, because we’ve finally hit the end, and Good Lord in heaven I am so done with this it’s not even funny. And the good news is, we’re going to be able to skip over a very, very big chunk of the story because it wouldn’t be this fic if we didn’t have more underage sexual content to zoom right over, which means we don’t even have to be here that long!

What could be better?

Anyway, we’re gonna get started, because goddammit I want to be done with this nightmare just as much as you guys! So here we go!

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2348: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Nineteen, Part Four

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Heyo, patrons!  Sorry about missing last Wednesday, unforeseen emergency tied me up most of the week.  Anyway, since it’s been a bit, I think it’s time for a recap!

“Hugging and then dungeon crawling.”

Yup, that brings it all back.  Anyway, we start off this week right in the middle of Vikki’s typical chapter acceleration.

The next room had several currents running in opposite directions, vortexes placed in various spots around the currents, and the occasional boulder that would sometimes pass through the water that didn’t seem phased by much. There were Tektites at the end of the room, and as usual the walls and floor were covered in shimmering blue stone.

I mean, water isn’t often phased by rock; usually the sun does that.

“Walk or swim?” Anakin asked quietly while Ashei was picking off the Tektites with her bow. “Do either at your own peril,” Obi-Wan muttered, “They’re both equally dangerous here. Just whatever you do, avoid the vortexes.”

“They are both equally dangerous?  Let us tally the hazards of either and compare.  The water has boulders and vortexes while the not-water has dead tektite remains.”

You could trip over a stray tektite leg and give yourself such a bruise!

“Swim it is, then.”

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2346: Love and War – Chapter 2

Title: Love and War
Author: Z3R0 L0V3
Media: Video Game
Topic: Pokémon
Genre: Adventure / Romance
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by eatpraylove

Welcome back to “Love and War,” fellow patrons. Last chapter, we met our protagonist, Princess Dawn of Sinnoh, and her intended, Prince Paul of Hoenn (rather than of Veilstone for some reason). We also met the author’s primary flaws as, well, an author: Terse paragraphs, a total lack of background description, punctuation errors I didn’t waste time pointing out, and a helping of clichés just for good measure.

(I’m still scratching my head over the visible lack of any actual Pokémon in this AU.)

We also got treated to an equally daybook (thanks to BatJamags for reminding me what that’s called in the comments section) but far more dramatic ending that hinted at a larger plot than just relationship drama! Let’s see where it goes from here. And before I forget, the cliché counter is currently at five.

*sits back down in riffing chair*

*sips tea* Ahhhh. Tea makes everything more bearable.

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