2040: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Four, Part One

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

It’s Wednesday!  And do you know what that means?  It means the doors are locked from the outside until we finish another chapter of True Force.  Well, half a chapter.  As this fic goes on the chapters get progressively longer and, mercifully, include more not-stolen content to riff on.  So, I’m going to have to start breaking them up to keep them things at manageable length.

This week I almost have enough to make a recap!  By almost, I mean the whole recap of the unique content would look like this:

Child Link meets child Anakin in Hyrule Castle Town and they play a board game.

So we may as well just jump into the fic.  And boy do I have a treat for you in today’s author’s note!

Oh, also, starting today I’m going to be skipping everything in Vikki’s header except the disclaimer since it is unique every chapter.  And we really don’t want to skip this week’s.

Well as of now, George Lucas still owns Star Wars and Shigeru Miyamoto still owns the Legend of Zelda. And, last I checked, both of them are guys. I’m a girl. You do the math.

Do the math?  Okay, so two guys plus one girl equal-

*A cacophonous blast of porno music launches Taco out of his chair*

I own nothing, except my plot.

I’m sorry, your plot?  Your plot!?

Author’s Notes-

Yes, there is an actual plot.

Technically true, but it’s still not YOUR plot.

And yes, we’re getting to it, but I need you all to sit tight while I work on some character development, okay?

As a reference, if you think you have to say something like this to your audience, you’re failing pretty hard as an author.  Which, to be fair, Vikki certainly is failing pretty hard as an author.

Thanks.

Now go read my stuff. :)

I’d be happy to!  Can you point me to something that’s actually yours?

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2039: Friendship Is Something Or Other: The Covenant War — Chapter 3 Part Two

Title: Friendship Is Magic: The Covenant War
Author:  Dragonfang33
Media: Video Game / Cartoon
Topic: Halo / My Little Pony
Genre: Adventure / Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai and Serketry

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to yet more of Friendship is That One Thing We Are No Longer Allowed to Consider: The Covenant War.

Previously, the UNSC forces drove through the Everfree Forest to Ponyville at a sedate walking pace, allowing something that I think was supposed to be character bonding to occur between RAINBOW DASH, FFFFFluttershy, and some nameless ODST with a pegasus unit insignia. The humans arrived just in time to sneer at the Ponyville fortifications that somehow suddenly exist after like only two days since the Covenant landed, and… that was actually about it.

Despite most of the (half) chapter taking place in the incredibly dangerous, utterly bizarre Everfree Forest, yeah, nothing happened. They could have met on the steps of Canterlot Castle for all the perceived danger there was.

Typically when fanthors realize midway through a project that they have no idea what is actually supposed to happen the chapters get incredibly short and frenetic, but just like in his last ‘fic Dragonfang seems to be trying to cover up his utter lack of direction with endless padding instead.

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2038: Salvation – Chapter 1

Title: Salvation
Author: FreddysNightmare1984
Media: Film
Topic: Deliverance
Genre: Adventure/Suspense
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by BatJamags

Caution: Fic contains extreme plot regurgitation. Please take appropriate sanitary measures.

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m submitting this little two-shot riff out of order. Screw the Backlog of Doom, this needs to be mocked right now.

Why? Well, allow me to direct your attention to the header.

Topic: Deliverance

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2037: A Branch of Burden – Chapter Two

SC’s Note: This riff was written prior to a conversation between Ravager Animas and I which revealed that they’re actually really cool, and I should probably be less of a dick. So, you know, keep that in the back of your mind as you read this chapter.

Title: A Branch of Burden
Author: Ravager Animas
Media: Video Game
Topic: Etrian Odyssey
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by SC

Hello, and welcome back to “A Branch of Burden,” by Ravager Animas! I’m your host, SC, and last time, I talked everybody’s ears off about how Atlus are bastards and Etrian Odyssey is a colorful game series about evil trees, human hubris, and some random group of assholes rising to heroic status just for going from point A to point B without dying. We were then introduced to our stupidly-named protagonists, who I will instead be referring to as Little Miss Landsknecht and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Oc and Hulk Hogan-

…Uh…

I mean, Little Miss Landsknecht and Little Miss Runemaster all came out of nowhere lightning-fast, and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass-

Okay, so, I might have watched The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny again before writing this riff.

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2036: She’s Got a Little Bit of Raptor in Those Angel Eyes – Chapters 10 & 11

Title: She’s Got a Bit of Raptor in Those Angel Eyes
Author: AmazingGraceless
Media: Movie/Book
Topic: Jurassic Park/Jurassic World/Twilight
Genre: Adventure/Family
URL: Chapter 10
URL: Chapter 11
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another helping of Raptorpire and Co!

In the last chapter, Lex spun some terrible lies and then revealed some truths in an even more terrible way, Lex and the boys did some car things to a Jeep twice as old as they are, we found out that Carlisle is actually the director of the VH Project, and there’s even more human/raptor hybrids running around on the island.

I think that was the highlights. To the fic!

Carlisle had delivered slips to each of the remaining victims of Project VH. He’d watched them leave on the ferries.

Huh. I guess there isn’t going to be a Sue Squad. Kind of makes me wonder why the author felt the need to introduce these characters if they were just going to be put on a bus (or ferry) immediately.

He was relieved to see that they were safe. If only he could just get Lex and the rest of his family off of the island. He walked back into the hotel to see Alice leading the rest of his family and a disgruntled Rosalie.

Why not send the human members of the Family Blob away? The sparklepires and werewolves can probably handle themselves if they work together, but the squishy humans are in very real danger.

“Carlisle!” Alice’s angelic face was distraught and she hugged her father figure.

That’s a weirdly purple way to phrase things.

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2035: Realm of the New God – Chapters One and Two

Title: Realm of the New God
Author: Thatoneselfinsertguy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fire Emblem Awakening
Genre: Self Insert
URL: chapter 1
Critiqued by Zeus Killer Productions

Realm of the New God riff #1-How to start an untypical typical fanfic

I apologize if this confuses some of you. See, I did do the first chapter, but my initial style, namely just describing stuff on a skim basis while not showing anything from the original fanfic, confused some people, and it’s partially my fault. I thought that I’d be able to give people a viable picture of what the fanfic was like without having to show it. Hopefully, this will not only serve as a better picture riff of what’s going on, but also allow me to improve my riffing style.

Are you ready to explore the world of Fire Emblem fanfiction? There are boundless possibilities for you to explore, such as potential AU’s, off-screen relationships between characters, and even potential ways you imagine how the games went. All of those options are indicative of a surprising amount of creativity…by following the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing.

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2034: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Three

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hello, patrons!  Welcome back to The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of The Force!  Or something like that.  I’ve decided I won’t really bother with recaps until the author actually starts diverging from the source materials, so don’t expect to see summaries until around chapter eleven.

And if you don’t think that’s a demoralizing thought, then try this one:

Chapter Three: On to Castle Town!

Title: Legend of Zelda – The True Force

Chapter: 3

Author: Hikari no Vikki

Genre: Adventure/Fantasy

Disclaimer: If I owned Zelda or Star Wars, would I even been saying the word “if” in my disclaimer?

Description: A modern Hyrule is in chaos. After reconstruction from the receding sea, the New Hyrule is literally built from the ashes of the Old Kingdom. However, history is destined, or rather, determined to repeat itself.

Though, to be fair, I’m actually kinda glad that Vikki isn’t taking the disclaimer seriously because, at the risk of being a broken record, disclaiming ownership of something that, by the letter of the law, you are stealing doesn’t really change the fact that you’re stealing it.  And that’s still the case regardless of how well you write the disclaimer, so it’s generally best not to take them too seriously as an author since lawyers definitely won’t.  Certainly it’s never stopped the big corporations like Disney from blanket-sending CNDs whenever the mood takes them.

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