2355: Game of Thrones and Dragons – Chapter 1

 

Author: ArtAddictedArchitect
Media: TV Series/Book/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Game of Thrones
Genre: none given
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another single chapter and possible oneshot from the Skyrim/GoT crossover section! The fic is only a few months old and hasn’t had any updates, but is described as a “power wank fic” in the author’s bio, so they may add to it when they feel like stroking their SI some more.

It … It gets bad. Really bad. You should go get a headdesking pillow now to avoid the line.

:brief pillow pause:

Everyone prepped and ready? Great! Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

SI insert into game of thrones as the Dragonborn

Well, that’s certainly … succinct.

I woke up to a slow gradual bumping with a headache.

Urgh. I don’t remember drinking last night.

I’m not really a big drinker, but I don’t think hangovers are usually accompanied by bumping sensations.

The last thing I remember was booting up the PC, getting ready to play a heavily modded version of Skyrim.

That probably describes every PC version of Skyrim – Why run vanilla when the Nexus is a thing that exists? – but what kind of mods? There’s a lot of weird stuff under that umbrella. Are we talking “Every dragon is now Thomas the Dank Engine” and there’s tits on the side of the Blue Palace or do you have so many ENBs and graphical enhancements running you have to keep a fire extinguisher trained on your GPU at all times?

Did I fall asleep gaming? I am sitting up so there’s that.

Why would that be an option? Wouldn’t gaming tend to keep you awake, since you’re presumably focused on a particular task?

But things didn’t add up. Why would I be in a rocking upright position if I fell asleep in my apartment?

Do you own a rocking chair?

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2350: What is the music of life? – Oneshot

 

Author: Cyricist001
Media: TV Series/Book/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Game of Thrones
Genre: none given
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another oneshot! This one is a ‘true’ oneshot in that there’s just one chapter and it is listed as completed. Also, it’s another Skyrim crossover!

It’s also a Skyrim/Game of Thrones crossover, which actually sounds like a fairly plausible concept to me.  We haven’t had a Game of Thrones (or A Song of Ice and Fire, which is the book series the show is based on) before, but I’m fairly confident that most people with Internet access are aware that Game of Thrones is a thing which exists. I’m not going to give a massive SC-style info-dump for this fic because an info-dump for GoT/ASoIaF would stretch for many, many pages, but I’ll try to cover any relevant information as it is needed. It should go without saying that there are major spoilers ahead.

Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

What happens when mages blunder.

If the mage in question is a overly confident Khajiit named J’Zargo, then what happens is that you repeatedly set yourself on fire while trying out his “improved” Flame Cloak scrolls.

Vigdis watched as the Unsullied patrol passed her hiding spot and marched down the narrow street. The ‘Mother of Dragons’ certanly tightened the security in Meereen after the Sons of the Harpy started their murder spree.

Okay, time for some info-dumping.

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2338: The Alphas Daughter – Chapters 1 & 2

Author: britbailey87
Media: Movie/Book
Topic:  Jurassic Park/World
Genre: Romance/Humor
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

As has become my custom lately, I’ve decided to clear out a few short fics and/or oneshots before starting on something longer. This particular fic is just two short chapters; there’s been no activity on the fic since early 2018 so it possibly has been abandoned, but then again we’ve seen authors go longer stretches between updates before. It’s also from the Jurassic Park/World canon, but this time I’ve picked a fic that doesn’t contain human/raptor hybrids or sparklepires. Probably. It’s been a while since I skimmed through it.

To the fic!

I was outside working on my dirt bike my dad got me to drive around on.

Your dad bought you a broken dirt bike? I guess he really doesn’t want to to “ride around” all that much.

The stupid thing kept stalling. I would have to go to the main park to get the stuff i need to fix it.

Because parks are well-known for stocking spare parts for crotch-rockets.

I looked up when i heard the door to the bungalow open.

…Is Nameless fixing their bike inside a house?

“Morning sweetheart.” my dad said as he walked down the steps and kissed me on the head. “Morning dad. Did you see breakfast on the counter?” he nodded and sat down in front of his own bike. “I did. Thank you.” i mumbled a quiet your welcome. He had a late night last night with the girls. They’ve been moody lately. Usually when he’s up super late he has a headache when he wakes up.

Are we eventually going to get some sort of description of something? Where this bungalow is, who Nameless is, who their father is, what “girls” he was up late with, anything? Are these “girls” children who couldn’t sleep, or was Daddy Nameless out with some bar-skanks?

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2299: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist – Chapters 55-62

Title: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist
Author: HardcoreCommie
Media: Book/Film
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Fantasy/Parody
URL: Chapters Fifty-FiveFifty-SixFifty-SevenFifty-EightFifty-NineSixtySixty-One, and Sixty-Two
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello ladies and gents, and welcome back for more Harry Potter Becomes A Communist. We are back with yet more insanity, and yet more stupidity, and I am not sure either one is really gonna let up here.

I’d say at least it doesn’t concern sexytimes with a minor, but we’ve already seen that play out a bit with Nymphadora Tonks fucking a high schooler, so I won’t go into that again.

Anyway, let’s get back to the action. I just can’t wait to see how much worse the political misrepresentation gets around here.

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2250: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist – Chapters 33-37

Title: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist
Author: HardcoreCommie
Media: Book/Film
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Fantasy/Parody
URL: Chapters Thirty-ThreeThirty-Four, Thirty-Five, Thirty-Six, and Thirty-Seven
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

WARNING: Yep, it happened again, patrons: this installment of Harry Potter Becomes A Communist has more fucking sex in it. This means our installment is NSFW this week as well. You know the drill!

Hello patrons. Sorry if I’m a little mystified: I’m still taken aback by Hagrid being a monarchist of all things to be. Like… what? It honestly defies explanation, it really does.

So I guess now that it’s confirmed that this is a troll fic, I guess the only thing to do is to keep going with it, right? Because it’s not even well-done trollfic. I mean… There’s something about this that makes for good conversation, but do I stop here…?

No. I already quit halfway through FaCe ThE StRaNgE and the laziest Smash Bros. fanfic in existence, I shouldn’t do that here too. Let’s keep forging on!

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2244: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist – Chapters 28-32

Title: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist
Author: HardcoreCommie
Media: Book/Film
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Fantasy/Parody
URL: Chapters Twenty-EightTwenty-NineThirtyThirty-One, and Thirty-Two
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

WARNING: Well, it had to come eventually: this installment of Harry Potter Becomes A Communist contains references to sex, private parts, and more nudity than I think it really needed. This installment is thus rated NSFW. Read at your own discretion.

Hello ladies and gents, and welcome back to Harry Potter and the Gulags of Siberia. I am your friendly neighborhood Herr Wozzeck, and we are back in this bitch once again.

So, grab your hard hats: last time, we were gonna worry about a jail break. This time, we’re gonna see what happens with that, and I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be stupider than Trump’s latest policy proposal.

But, don’t worry! To alleviate our stress, I’m gonna introduce something a friend of mine came up with when I showed him an advance copy of the first chapter. So, thank Harlow for dipping in again, because this time, we’re playing Buzzword Bingo!

So here’s our card for this week:Buzzword Bingo

‘Course, I’ll only be marking it off if it’s in the story itself, so if it’s in an author’s note it doesn’t count. But hey, we’ve got lots of mileage there!

So let’s get going!

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2240: Madness – Oneshot

 

Author: FreddysNightmare1984
Media: Movie/Book
Topic:  Cujo
Genre: Horror/Tragedy
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to a very short little oneshot that is from a source material we’ve never covered before – Cujo.

Yeah, I was kind of surprised that there a Cujo fanfics, too. There aren’t very many by fanfic standards, but there are even a handful of crossovers. Hope you’re ready to see the word rabies so many times that it starts to look like a made-up word!

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the source materials, let me give you a brief synopsis;

Like most Stephen King works, the story revolves around the inhabitants of a Peculiar Small Town in Maine. The primary focus is on a young family – Vic and Donna, with their son Tad – who have just moved from New York City, but there are a handful of locals as well. Of primary concern is the Camber family – Joe, a local mechanic who happens to be an abusive asshat, his wife, Charity, and son Brett – who are the owners of the infamous Cujo. Joe, being an all around terrible person, doesn’t bother getting his dog vaccinated so when Cujo chases a rabbit into a small cave and subsequently gets bitten by a very startled bat, the poor Saint Bernard contracts rabies. Charity wins a small sum in the lottery and hides the fact from her husband while convincing him to let her take Brett to visit her sister for a week. Joe agrees, mainly so he can go whoring in Boston with his alcoholic neighbour Gary. Vic has to leave town for work due to a marketing disaster with a cereal that makes it look like you’re vomiting blood, so Donna takes their car (a Ford Pinto) to Joe’s for some repair work. Prior to her arrival, however, Cujo, driven mad by the virus running unchecked through his system, has attacked and killed Gary and Joe. Donna sees the dog acting strangely and tries to leave, but the Pinto (being a Pinto) breaks down, trapping Donna and Tad inside. There’s some more interpersonal relationship stuff that is really quite good despite the fact it was written while Stephen King was taking all the cocaine, but the main horror aspects are focused on Donna and Tad being trapped in the car, facing heatstroke and dehydration, while Cujo waits just outside. Donna does attempt to escape to the house to get help but is severely bitten, adding to their troubles. Vic comes home to find his house trashed and Donna and Tad missing, and it is first assumed that the ex-boyfriend Steve ransacked the place and kidnapped Donna and Tad so at first no one is even looking in the right place, and when a sheriff does finally visit the Camber house he is eventually killed by Cujo, thus prolonging their captivity. The book and movie differ on some points, but the basic facts (except for the ending) remain the same. It’s the sort of plot that would never occur to anyone in modern times, since the increasing sense of desperation and isolation would vanish with a single cell phone call.

Now that that’s over with, on to the fic! Since it’s short, let’s start with the summary.

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