Title: The Girl
Topic: The Outsiders
Critiqued by Angie
Trigger Warning: Minor antagonism of PTSD. Or maybe I’m just overreacting.
Also, use of the words ‘Soc’ and ‘Greaser’ are completely canon and not I, nor Lyle, nor the author of this fic I’m sure, mean these words to be offensive.
[If you’re interested in reading the book, there are some major spoilers in this riff, so go read it first then come back to this. – Lyle]
In my Scarlet review, I’ll…admit I wasn’t my normal, happy self. I was just so pissed about how awful it was that I decided I might as well reflect upon it in my reviews. I’m sorry.
Last year, I read a book that I’m sure everyone has read, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. God, what an amazing book. I could read it over and over again.
So, as I go, I figured I might as well see if I can’t find an Outsiders fanfiction.
And boy, did y’all on the internet deliver.
I stumbled upon The Girl, and…*loud sigh* it almost made me like the source material less.
Title: Love & Bullets
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A REFERENCE TO DOMESTIC ABUSE. I’M WARNING YOU IN PART BECAUSE THE AUTHOR WASN’T CONISIDERATE ENOUGH TO DO SO.
What do you need us for? count: 4
Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and I’m back with this nerd-
To riff more of this turd.
GoodJamags: Previously, on Love & Bullets: Raya Sue talked to Alfred, and was trajek. And now back to your regularly scheduled nothing:
Hello, and welcome back to “Legendary Adventurers, Futuristic Saviors,” by Stone-Man85! I’m your host, SC, joined by Sir Paulo Rori and Scarlet of Mesyth, and last time, Alex met an Ent-Ape-Thingo-Whatsit named Character I Totally Didn’t Steal From N’jata, who told him, “Yeah, bro, we were the douchebags who brought you here, and we can’t send you back either for reasons and shit. But that’s okay, you gotta save the world anyhow!” Understandably, Alex (as well as myself) was all, “Que?” but we couldn’t really get into what the idiotic reasoning was because I suddenly realized how stupid long part two would have been if I riffed the roughly one-third of the chapter that I copied down into my word processor all in one go, so I had to end it there. We’ll be picking up where we left off, which was right when Stolen OC the Ent-Ape-Thingo-Whatsit was about to give possibly the single most bullshit answer I’ve ever read:
Hello, dear Patrons!
I’m here with another oneshot that continues my journey through the weirdness that is Crossover Country. This particular fic is listed as a crossover between the 2000 film Dinosaur (a film about an Iguanadon raised by lemurs) and the How to Train Your Dragon franchise, but then there’s this in the summary;
this Story is a Triple Crossover with Aladar, Toothless, Hiccup, and Sheldon. But when Sheldon pulls the Biggest Prank, All of the Four Characters gets Electrocuted, and were Send to Somewhere.
The fic is actually a triple crossover! Because trying to reconcile multiple disparate canons always works out so well. Aladar is the main character from Dinosaur and Hiccup and Toothless are from HTTYD, but I have no idea who Sheldon is. Must be an OC or someone from the unknown third canon.
Also, it looks like the author was visited by Ike the Italics Demon’s cousin Randall The Random Capitalization Imp.
Hey guys I’m back from Thanksgiving Break, and I hope You like this Story, and I’ll see you next time.
Well, that’s certainly pertinent information for me to have now, at the end of January, well after any holiday breaks would have occurred.
Hello hello, all you patrons!
Last time on Love of a Spartan, we witnessed the exciting conclusion of the whole “Amy’s kissing advice” plot thread, as Edward and Renee asymptotically approached a sex scene without actually having one. This resulted in a whole bunch of angsting, Edward maybe having actual character development and trying to improve on his horrible behavior, and a massive hullaballoo about one single condom. Then the Chief received orders to leave the Hercules for a very important operation with a rally point at Reach, and Renee immediately developed severed depressive symptoms over his departure.
Terrible Troy Counter: 101
Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 100
Fucking Halight Counter: 47
“In keeping with our theme of malingering over Edward’s departure, chapter 21/Twenty is called ‘Separation’… and we’ve got a bit of a treat for you today! In order to show you just how much nothing has accumulated in this monstrosity, we will be riffing the entire chapter without cutting any content whatsoever.
Which, now that I think about it, really isn’t much of a ‘treat’ for anyone.”
But we’ll do it anyway, because somebody has to suffer through this padding alongside the two of us.