Title: “Three Generations”
Fandom: Enchanted Forest Chronicles
Genre: Family and hurt/comfort
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by eatpraylove
I briefly considered doing this as a PPC mission, but didn’t for three reasons: The chapters don’t have much meat on them, I have enough fics lined up already, and I couldn’t think of a reason for my agents to feel the same protective attachment to the Enchanted Forest series that I do. Also, hi, I’m eatpraylove on the PPC Board. I’ve poked around the halls of the Library plenty of times but never thought to get a WordPress account.
Moving on, let’s start with the canon basics. The Enchanted Forest Chronicles is a fantasy kid’s book series by Patricia Wrede, focusing on Princess Cimorene of Linderwall. Linderwall is your standard Disney-style safe, prosperous fairy-tale kingdom, and the rest of Cimorene’s family—mom, dad, and six older sisters—are your standard Disney royalty, the sisters in particular.
Cimorene wants none of it, and runs away from home to avoid an arranged marriage with the equally generic Prince Therandil in the first book. Thanks to her lack of a plan and a sarcasm-blind talking frog (I swear this makes sense in context), she ends up living and working with Kazul, a dragon who’s been looking for a new princess. Kazul doesn’t mind that Cimorene isn’t a typical princess (Cimorene can cook Kazul’s favorite desserts, for example), and both of them eventually gets roped into a big mystery involving the King of the Dragons, a stone prince, Morwen the witch, and several wizards.
The whole series turns fairy tales and fairy-tale tropes on their heads—the wizards melt when you throw buckets of water (specifically soapy water and lemon juice) at them, for example, not Morwen. It’s great fun to read and deserves all the love it gets and then some.
So naturally, bunches and bunches of folks on the Internet have written their own stories about it with predictably mixed results. Thanks to Sehkmet over on the PPC Board for bringing this to my attention. The first chapter is literally a “don’t like, don’t read, please review” author’s note, so I’m going to the first one with actual substance to it.
Also, this riff will contain spoilers for the entire series, so if you’re sensitive about that sort of thing, go get the books and read them. If you’re not, or you’ve already read all of them, strap in, ready your weapon of choice, and put on your coolest sunglasses.
*sits in comfy riffing chair*
*sips hot cocoa* Ahhh, perfect.
~WARNING: THE INFODUMP IS REAL. BE PREPARED.~
Specs: You know, the last time I helped you riff a Fire Emblem fic, I remember getting really, really mad. This one had better not suck this time.
Pfft, or what? You’ll cut my head off like you did to Contacts?
*Specs stands SC up, then enters a boxing stance; Specs then punches him in the face, follows up with a sharp kick to the liver, and finishes by driving an uppercut into SC’s face while he’s doubled over*
Contacts: Wow. What martial arts style was that?
Specs: I dunno. I just did that to Sportsy once in a melee-only sparring match.
[I still can’t bend at the waist without it hurting, fucker. -Sports Shades]
TRIGGER WARNING: This fic contains instances of abuse and mutilation, both child and spousal. Please skip today if you are sensitive to these things. Thank you.
Hello dear readers of the library! My name is squarecircles, and today I’ll be your guest snarker. I’m relatively new to the fanfiction scene, but I’ve been reading it for years. Mostly, I would just read Pokemon fics, but rarely there are others that catch my eye (the library’s own Erttheking, and Herr Wozzek being two such writers). However, seeing as I read primarily Pokemon fics, I’m very aware of how bad some of them can be. What I’ve found for you today is easily one of the more fucked up fics I’ve ever come across. Let’s dive right in, shall we?
Hello, dear Patrons! Ready for something a little on the odd side?
What am I saying, of course you are – otherwise you wouldn’t be in the Library.
This little gem comes from an author who has penned over a thousand different fics in numerous canons, making them one of the most prolific authors I’ve seen. They have posted regularly since 2006, yet despite this massive volume of work there hasn’t been an appreciable improvement in the quality of their writing. I actually went through their catalog of fics and randomly skimmed through several, but couldn’t tell that there had been any change at all. This baffles me to no end.
This is typically the point where I’d do an SC-style info-dump regarding the source materials, but I don’t think that’s going to be necessary; Frozen is featured far more heavily than Wreck-It Ralph, but there’s no attempt made to adhere to any canon at all.
Oh, did I mention this is a crossover fic between Wreck-It Ralph and Frozen? And that Elsa and Ralph have kids? Must have slipped my mind.
To the fic!
agig: I’m back with everyone!
Cain: Just one more chapter! We can do this!
Goddess: The end is in crosshairs!
Dakota: …Did you really just say that?
Cain: *sigh* Someone needs to explain the concept of humour to you.
Sem: *hissing* Then maybe send you to the brig for such a terrible joke.
agig: Roll the tape!
Welcome back to Wednesday, patrons! This week we have one of those nice cleansing fics. It’s bad, but not offensively so. Overall, it comes off as mostly harmless; just a bad little fic that’s got a decent enough idea behind it, but is ruined by an unskilled writer who wasn’t able to flesh out an idea and make sure characters act the way they should. Among other things.
“That sounds relatively pleasant, actually.”
As I said, tearing into one of these is good for cleaning the soul of some of the worse things we’re exposed to because it’s a much more light-hearted experience. Also, it’s worth noting that this fic is rated K+ and is based on a children’s cartoon show, which means that we don’t even have to worry about a lot of the crap that we have to deal with in the more ‘mature’ fics. Nope, this is going to be a nice-
Scrooge juggles business and his nephews. One-shot. Applied to lyrics from “Go The Distance” from Disney’s Hercules.
“It appears there are going to be song lyrics.”
I know. I’m scared, hold me.
“How about no.”
Cain: Welcome back! Dakota and I are here for another chapter of Teen Fortress 2.
Dakota: Yep. *sigh* It’s just so bad.
Cain: *Pats Dakota on the back* Don’t worry, we only have two more chapters to go. We can do this!
AN SCHOOL STURTED BACK UP FOR ME THIS WEEK SO I DIDANT HAF MUCH TIME FOR RITIN BUT I THINK THIS WILL BE A GOOD CHAP.