2404: Just Watch Her Bleed Until She Can’t Breathe – Chapters 3 & 4

 

 

Title: Just Watch Her Bleed Until She Can’t Breathe
Author: AmazingGraceless
Media: Movie/Book
Topic: Jurassic Park/Jurassic World/Twilight
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 3
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the last (thus far) two chapters of this continuing saga of a crossover.

In the last chapters Lex had a screaming nightmare and was left alone by her erstwhile guardians so she could chat on the phone with her boyfriend, followed by her arriving home from school to find ominous messages written in blood on her mattress – despite living in a household full of people with unnaturally enhanced senses specifically honed towards blood – and then she got dressed up for a party the family is throwing because reasons, likely something to do with the park since the other named characters from the film are supposed to be attending.

Now, on to the fic!

Once again, Lex found herself wishing that she could be anywhere but where she was.

Stuck in a badfic? I sympathize, but I’m not breaking the security cordon around the Literary Extractor to bust you out. One useless badfic character in the Library is enough.

:Markus leans in and give Ghostie the finger:

Get out of my riff! Shouldn’t you be off disappointing Crunchy?

:Markus leaves:

And take this finger with you! Dumbass.

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2397: Just Watch Her Bleed Until She Can’t Breathe – Chapters 1 & 2

 

Title: Just Watch Her Bleed Until She Can’t Breathe
Author: AmazingGraceless
Media: Movie/Book
Topic: Jurassic Park/Jurassic World/Twilight
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another fic! This one is also from the Jurassic park/World section and is also a crossover, but this time it’s a crossover with the town bicycle of fanfics, Twilight!

And it gets better! Not only is it another JP/Twilight crossover, but it’s a sequel to another fic we’ve already seen – the cavalcade of strangeness that is She’s Got a Little Bit of Raptor in Her Angel Eyes.

You know what that means!

Also, the author really has a thing for nonsensical titles.

Weirdness aside, that fic seemed fairly complete, ending with the Sue being stalked by paparazzi at school and pitching a bitch-fit regarding how triggered she was that was soothed by attention from a cute boy. It just sort of fizzled out like many we see in the Library, so I have no idea where this sequel is supposed to be going. I’m sure the summary will let us know.

Sequel to She’s Got a Little Bit of Raptor in Her Angel Eyes. Carlisle now heads InGen and the Volturi plot to use this to take down the Cullens once and for all, starting with the death of Lex. But what happens when Claire’s nephews and Owen are in the wrong place at the wrong time? Enter Forks at its most dangerous and deadly time.

The fic hasn’t even started yet and I already have questions. How would the Volturi use the fact that Carlisle is (for some inexplicable reason) now the head of a company to ‘take down’ the Cullen clan? The sparklepires do have a masquerade in place to prevent normies from getting suspicious, but as long as Carlisle retires before anyone notices that he doesn’t age and doesn’t do anything stupid like make herds of sparklesaurs he should be fine.

…There’s going to be herds of sparklesaurs, isn’t there? And they’re going to try to attack all the named characters from the movie (who will apparently all be in Forks at the same time with the sparklesaurs because reasons) and the Sue is going to have to save them, isn’t she?

Crapcakes.

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2391: Danny Phantom – Dinosaur Children – Chapter 4

Author: SaurusRocks625
Media: Movie/TV Series
Topic:  Danny Phantom/Jurassic Park/Jurassic World
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the end of a fic about the transformative powers of injecting/implanting children with magical Dinosaur DNA that thus far has had no transformations. That may change, but it would have to happen in less than a thousand words since that’s how long this chapter is.

When we left off on this story, Danny had just been injected with DNA from both T-Rex and I-Rex.

And then fell asleep so that literally nothing else happened. Also I did go back and check – according to the summary he was supposed to get an injection of velociraptor DNA, not the Rex double-tap.

How long will it take for things to go haywire?

If by “go haywire” you mean “the author runs out of ideas and the chapter fizzles out”, then that will probably happen in approximately :checks: nine hundred and sixty words.

Let’s find out.

Sure. Whatever. I could be farming grinades for rockbomb shards, but I guess this’ll work.

*I still don’t own Danny Phantom or Jurassic Park!*

Meh. I’ll take a useless disclaimer over song lyrics any day.

Conversing Families!

So it’s back to the parental character blob? Is anyone ever going to make it to the actual park?

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2385: Danny Phantom – Dinosaur Children – Chapter 3

 

Author: SaurusRocks625
Media: Movie/TV Series
Topic:  Danny Phantom/Jurassic Park/Jurassic World
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons and welcome to the shady side of the molehill that is this fic. It’s all down from here!

Yay.

In the last chapter the Character Blob of children were summoned to the Fenton lab to be informed by the parental Character Blob (and also Jazz) that they had been selected for a mysterious project by Jurassic World that they apparently had never heard of before.

This chapter starts off not with an Author’s Note but with more lyrics from the Danny Phantom theme song so I’m just going to skip over that and go right to the chapter title.

Meeting Doctor Wu and DNA Transplant!

:headdesk:

Oh, I’m not going to like this.

“Uh, guys? Are you sure this is safe?” Sam asked.

I’d ask who she was talking to but it really doesn’t matter who she’s asking, since neither the Fentons nor In Gen are known for their safety practices.

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2379: Danny Phantom – Dinosaur Children Chapter 2

 

Author: SaurusRocks625
Media: Movie/TV Series
Topic:  Danny Phantom/Jurassic Park/Jurassic World
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Yello again, dear Patrons, and welcome back to another chapter of crossover strangeness.

In the first chapter there was some Science! stuff happening so that Dr. Wu could pick out a handful of characters from the Danny Phantom universe to inject with dinosaur DNA which will make them productive members of society or some sort of super-powered protectors, and/or human-dinosaur ambassadors of some sort. Not one hundred percent sure which one it will be, but I’m leaning towards the one with super-powers.

This chapter starts off with another Author’s Note;

I’m impressed! I’ve gotten so many new reviews for this story, many of which have given excellent suggestions for the Dinosaur forms of Danny and the others. Thank you all so much for your help with this story, and I hope you all like what I’ve chosen for the Dinosaur forms.

Which I still think is something you should have planned out before writing any of this fic.

I did not go through all of the fic’s ‘reviews’, after the one that was asking for a sex scene between Danny, Paulina, and Star I just sort of skimmed through the first page but some of them seem to be giving recommendations as to what color combinations should be used for each character. That doesn’t seem like a good sign.

The chapter is also topped by the same one sentence disclaimer and the speech form key so I’m going to just cut them, and there’s also …

Oh, bugger.

 

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2373: Danny Phantom – Dinosaur Children – Chapter 1

Author: SaurusRocks625
Media: Movie/TV Series
Topic:  Danny Phantom/Jurassic Park/Jurassic World
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the beginning of another fic. This is one of the handful of Jurassic Park/World crossovers in my Pile-o-Fail, and this one happens to be crossed with Danny Phantom. And this is actually the second Danny Phantom/Jurassic World crossover we’ve had from the same author, who also wrote Danny Fenton the Ultimasaurus. (It’s the one where Danny had the DNA of about a dozen different dinosaur species shoved into his genome via a Science! portal.)

Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

One day, seven children from Amity Park are chosen to undergo a special experiment at the famous park known as Jurassic World. They become Human/Dinosaur hybrids, and use their new powers to protect the world, and each other. What could happen?

Yet more human/dinosaur hybrids! Human/dinosaur hybrids with some sort of special world-saving powers, those are always fun. At least these aren’t sparklepires on top of everything else. Probably.

The fic itself starts off with an Author’s Note that looks more like a summary than the actual summary does.

I got this idea soon after watching Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, but this takes place a little before the first Jurassic World movie.

I have to wonder if Fallen Kingdom is at least partially to blame for the up-tick in human/dinosaur hybrid fics; one of the characters makes himself a granddaughter by cloning his daughter, and even though cloning an existing organism is different from creating a hybrid one from scratch I guess a lot of fic authors just assume if someone’s making baby humans and baby dinosaurs they are going to start mix-and-matching them for shits and giggles at some point.

Doctor Henry Wu is assigned a rather strange project to complete from Jurassic World’s owner, Masrami,

It’s Masrani, Simon Masrani.

and creates a Velociraptor using a human boy as the base,

Like a soup? Ewww.

And that makes it sound like they are going to be taking an already existing human boy and somehow introducing dinosaur DNA into his genome …

Dammit. This is going to be another one of those “injecting DNA into someone because Science!” fics, isn’t it?

but is told to add a smidgen of DNA from the Indominus Rex,

Even though the Indominus itself is a hybrid of many different species and also contains velociraptor DNA, so this would essentially be doubling down on the Velociraptor in the hybrid.

thus creating… you know what? I’m not going to reveal that. I’m just going to let the main event be a surprise.

Let me guess – it’s going to make a human/dinosaur hybrid with funny eyes and camouflage abilities and whatever other SuperStu traits you feel like throwing in?

I must admit, it does seem like something of an enigma, but I wanted to try and make something out of this. I hope you guys enjoy the story anyway.

Not really. I assume the kids from Amity Park are going to get rounded up by InGen and then get injections of dinosaur DNA – probably predator species like Velociraptor and Tyrannosaur, and possibly a comedy-relief herbivore species – to turn them into hybrids because reasons.

*I still own nothing having to do with Danny Phantom or Jurassic World!*

Because the author has written more than one fic featuring this crossover – but, oddly enough, has not written all of the Danny Phantom/Jurassic World crossover fics on ff.net. There’s a total of five fics in that section, and three were written by someone else. (The same someone else, though, so there’s only two authors expanding this particular niche)

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2367: Diary of an Outsider – Chapter 3

Author: IMakeBadPuns
Media: Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to what is thus far the last chapter of LegolaSue’s epic tale about a life that is so boring she doesn’t want to talk about even though she can’t really shut up about it. So it goes.

The chapter starts off with an Author’s Note. Because of course it does.

A/N – You lucky, lucky people. Not only do you get updated versions of Chapter 1 and 2, but you also get a third chapter.

Which, for some reason, was not edited to make it “easier to read” so it’s just one long Wall-o-Text. Yay.

And potentially a fourth, all in one day.

Spoiler alert – there’s no fourth chapter. At all. It’s been five years.

No promises though, it just depends how much longer I can stay awake (thanks college, you suck).

If you think college is bad, have I got some depressing news regarding what happens when you join the workforce.

Anyway, I hope you guys and gals enjoy this. If you do, there’s a handy Follow/Favourite button you can use. There’s also a Review button, if you feel like telling me how I’m doing (it’ll really help). See you guys next time.

Except there’s not a next time, because the fic just kind of fizzles out. And this is the only fic the author has ever posted on ff.net.

Tirdas the 26th of Last Seed

So, we meet again. I’m not ignoring you. I’ve just been busy.

With stuff and/or things?

With stuff. And things. Important things.

Oooh, both stuff and things! And the things are important! But probably boring so she’s not going to talk about them.

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