Hello, dear Patrons!
I was thinking to myself, “You know what I haven’t done recently?”
:Syl’s voice drifts down from the rafters:
I’m ignoring you. Anyway, I was thinking to myself “You know what I haven’t done in a while? A Reader fic!”
“Bollocks to this.” :drops down from the rafters and heads for the door: “I’ll be at the pub.”
Calling the janitor’s closet a pub doesn’t make it one, but whatever.
So, back to the fic. Unlike many Reader fics, which struggle with the format for a single chapter, this one actually stretches over several chapters. There’s still a lot of struggling, but now it has been greatly expanded, so there’s that to look forward to.
Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?
Y/N and her/his friends are big fans of the renown horror game, Five Nights at Freddy’s. They bet every game including the extra nights that were thrown at them, they pretty much everything about the game. But one night, Y/N and her/his friends find out about something that they don’t know what to think of. Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria was right down the road. (My 1st reader insert)
Right away I can tell the grammar is going to be an issue. And the fic is apparently going to be in the frequently annoying first-person rather than the eye-bleeding second-person, so that’s a mixed blessing.
Now, to the fic!
Brace yourself, Whirlybat, I think you’re in for a rough ride.
Hello, there, dear Patrons! I hope everyone is having a great Friday the Thirteenth (or Saturday the Fourteen, Or Monday the Sixteenth, or when/wherever you are in space and time.)
I’ve got another oneshot from Breath of the Wild, but never fear – this one doesn’t have any sex scenes in it.
:Syl drops out of the rafters, throws a bowl of popcorn on the floor, and storms out of the Riffing Chamber:
You better clean this up!
There’s something odd about the fic, though. Let’s take a look at the fic’s summary, shall we?
Perhaps it was because he was an amnesiac, but the young man was desperate for something familiar. Everything else was strange about the world he’d woken up to, so he might as well obey the voices in his head. He heeded the call of the Sheikah Slate to call up a Familiar with a wolf’s form and human eyes. The horse that came seemed to know him, too. It was good to have friends.
The only voice Link hears in his head is Zelda, and that only happens at the very beginning during the tutorial portion, and then again when Link finishes all of the Divine Beasts. You don’t really have to listen to her at any point, though. Open world with non-linear gameplay, remember?
Bemused and befuddled.
Title: Zelda Erotica: The Pegging Princess
Author: The Masked Sage
Media: Video Game
Topic: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat with special guest Syl
—THIS FIC IS NSFW/NSFC—
—I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THE TITLE—
Hello, dear Patrons!
This little oneshot is (superficially) from the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild universe, but it’s … Not exactly canon-friendly.
“So says you. Who knows what Little Miss Princess gets up to in her spare time?”
You all know Syl, of course.
:Syl winks at the Patrons:
Charming. Let’s begin with the summary, shall we?
“As long as we get to the good stuff soon, dumpling.”
Don’t worry. This fic is exactly what it says on the tin. The author has a whole collection of these fics.
With Calamity Ganon sealed, Zelda and Link allow their love to grow. After returning from an expedition, Zelda can’t wait to show Link her newest Sheikah invention: intimacy technology.
I know the Sheikah were clever and had loads of gadgets, but “intimacy technology”? What does that even mean?
“Bet you a nickel Link fucks a Guardian.”
That’s not a bet I’d want to win. Or even contemplate.
(This story is considered Zelda erotica, and it contains adult themes and content. Critiques RE the style and storytelling are encouraged, so please leave your detailed suggestions/solutions in the reviews.)
:static-filled burst of hoots and whistles:
What was that?
“I’m Skyping with the other Sisters of Sin. They didn’t want to miss Gumdrop’s Thai cooking class.”
Dammit! That was today?
“Don’t worry, Glasses says she can save you some basil chicken.”
Easy on the archeopteryx, please.
There might be plot spoilers. You have been warned.
Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the last (thus far) chapter of this fic! I say “thus far” because the author, like many who end up here in the Library, posted several chapters close together and then has done nothing with the fic for a long time – in this case, over a year. So it goes.
In the previous chapter, we made it through another cutscene in which Link (and Alaya) activated the Sheikah Tower on the Great Plateau and the Old Man sent them on a fetch quest to the nearby Sheikah Shrine with the promise of sweet paragliders as a reward. The still pantsless Alaya added absolutely nothing to any of the scenes, spending most of her time brooding and/or having some sort of traumatic flashback that left no lasting effect on her. The chapter ended with Alaya running off to the shrine, presumably with Link following behind her.
That’s right – we’re finally getting to the physics puzzles! Yay.
To the fic! Which starts with an Author’s Note.
A/N: Of course, I get more into the game of Breath of the Wild and come across an interesting memory that causes a little plot hole in the original idea of my story.
Gee, it’s almost as if you should actually finish something before you start writing fanfics that “improve” the plot. (Fun side note, my spell-checker tried to change ‘improve’ to ‘improvise’. I’ve trained it so well.)
Well, I tweaked it a little, but all is good and there is still mystery and drama to enjoy!
Really? When does that start? Because so far it’s just been a few mangled cutscenes with a brief bit of no that interesting gameplay in between.
Nothing has changed with any of the chapters posted so far,
Because editing is hard.
so you don’t have to worry
Wasn’t planning on it.
Ahead there be plot spoilers. You have been warned.
Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the second chapter of this fic. In the first chapter (which was labelled a prologue even though it was no such thing) we covered the opening cutscene and a few minutes’ worth of the game, with the nameless (and thus far pantsless) female protagonist waking up in a cut-rate version of the Shrine of Resurrection, picking up her own personal
Nintendo Switch Wii U Sheikah Slate before skipping past all of the obstacles to reach the Mysterious Old Man just down the hill. He was very dismissive of her, essentially sending her off to go bother someone else.
Now, on to the fic! Which starts with an Author’s Note, a line-break, and a chapter heading.
A/N: There are obviously going to be spoiler in this story.
Just the one, though, so it should be fine.
This story will take its time since I am going through a lot of the stuff I’ve done and experienced in the game
Hopefully skipping over the tedious resource-grinding portions, of which there would be quite a lot.
(and I have also not finished – not even close)
Oh, that can’t be good. The plot, such as it is, is spread around all over the map so it can take a long time to get everything.
so expect slow chapters with only my OC and Link. Hopefully that won’t be too much of a problem haha!
Thank you for those who have followed and commented on this story. It means the world and keeps me writing! You are amazing!
As I’ve previously mentioned, there are large portions of the map where there is little to nothing around. This would mean that the only thing carrying the plot would be the interactions between Link and what’s-her-name and the chemistry between them. They haven’t actually interacted yet so it is difficult to say what the dynamic between them will be, but since the first chapter was little more than fast-forwarded plot regurgitation with the Sue playing catch-up I’m not going to hold my breath.
Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to a brand new fic!
This particular offering comes from the Legend of Zelda series, but from the newest game in the line, Breath of the Wild. Some of our more astute Patrons may remember Taco and I joking that a fic written in the same plot regurgitation/game mechanics style as his Ocarina of Time/Star Wars crossover would take a novel just to reach the first village. After then end of my last fic I decided to poke around a bit and it turns out, those are actually a thing. Fortunately, I decided not to subject our Patrons (or myself) to one of those dense tomes chock-full of massive amounts of padding in the form of narrated gameplay mechanics and picked out a few of the shorter ones to add to my pile – including this one.
Let’s take a look at the summary before I start on the SC-style infodump.
Both Link and Alaya woke up to a darker world 100 years later… But where Link lost his memory, Alaya kept hers and the last thing she wanted was for Link to know that. Especially when she comes to realize Zelda hadn’t meant to awaken her. OC/Link.
Right away I’m seeing the signs of this Alaya being a Photoshopped Sue who will follow Link around to do unnecessary things while being an annoyance who adds nothing to the fic. I assume she’s also going to have her own private Shrine of Resurrection that’s somehow a much more advanced method of bringing people back from the dead, since the in-game version was strictly single-occupancy and memory loss was a known side-effect.
Now would be a good time for that infodump I promised you. Warning – minor spoilers ahead after the break.
Title: She’s Got a Bit of Raptor in Those Angel Eyes
Topic: Jurassic Park/Jurassic World/Twilight
URL: Chapter 16
URL: Chapter 17
Critiqued by Ghostcat
Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the final two chapters! It’s been a long, weird road of plot regurgitation, but we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
In the last steaming chunk we were treated to the climatic battle between the t. rex and Indominus which was won handily by a surprise guest – the giant mosasaur dropping out of (or swimming up from) the Formless Void. Also Lex helped a little bit by annoying Indominus and then falling off the dinosaur’s face. We’ve already reached what was more or less the end of the movie, but there’s two more chapters. In fics like this that are mostly plot regurgitation, that is rarely a good thing.
Let’s get this trainwreck out of the station!
They landed in the emergency center around 2:00 in the morning. Lex was ushered into the large room full of bleeding, busy people trying to save lives.
So the bleeding people are the ones saving lives? Excessive or uncontrollable bleeding is usually high up on the triage list, so what the hell is wrong with the other people?