2617: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed by the Protagonists) — Chapter 12 Part 2Posted: June 2, 2020
This chapter contains some potential flamebait in the form of the author perhaps unintentionally outing himself as a “hard currency” advocate, and also making the quarians dyed-in-the-wool sexists for some reason.
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War.
Last time, the Stumans sent a very purply-named warship to the Citadel to begin peace talks with the Council, with one of the Forgettable Admiralty Blob representing them in the preliminary exchanges. They agreed to send him onto the Citadel with a bunch of human troops disguised as quarians using Bullshit Holography™ for no real reason, and also made plans to detonate a nuke over the Citadel. Meanwhile, on the Council side, salarian respresentative Eistan continued to distort important intelligence and generally make an ass of himself by rambling about the physiology of the opposing delegation, and both he and Tevos T’sael freaked out about Councilor Sparatus wanting to actually have, you know, a negotiating strategy.
Also, Chris McGraw is an unstable, childish creep who doesn’t know the difference between affection and attraction. But we already knew that anyway.
Let’s see how these peace negotiations inevitably disintegrate.
2612: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed By The Protagonists) — Chapter 12 Part 1Posted: May 26, 2020
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back after a good long absence to Mass Effect: The First War.
Last time, everyone’s favorite Geniu’Stu Chris McGraw got into an argument with his father that managed to accomplish absolutely nothing, and Grand Moff Whyte decided to send the quarians to negotiate a peace treaty with the Citadel (since they did so well the last time they were in a position to interact with the Citadel powers). Also, there was a lot of exposition about the turians having a prothean spacecraft that is totally not the Forerunner Dreadnought and a cadre of elite supersoldiers who fight each other in virtual reality all the time and totally aren’t either the SPARTAN-IIs or the canonical Turian Blackwatch.
Also some sort of weird rapist cult thing.
Title: To Last A Thousand Years
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to To Last A Thousand Words.
A lot has happened since the previous riff, with CrazyMinh’s review of Chapter 3 bringing the author to our comments section and starting a surprisingly civil conversation that cleared up a lot of ambiguity about the neo-Nazi talking points that appeared in previous chapters. Since the actual content of the story (as opposed to the author’s notes) has been getting less and less offensive as it goes on, I don’t foresee much problem continuing.
[MESSAGE FROM THE FUUUUTURE: Famous last words.]
In fact, the actual content of the story is getting less and less storyish as it goes on, thanks to our good friend Mr. Plot Regurgitation. Last chapter, for instance, Shepard talked with Miranda Lawson and Garrus and then got orders to go to Ilium, and the Council went to Earth to watch a Nazi Posturing Parade, and that was… basically it.
Friendly Neighborhood Nazis Counter: 9
Porsche Counter: 5
Still Nazis, I guess.
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to To Last A Thousand Years!
Last time… the events leading up to Mass Effect 1 happened. I don’t know why we needed to be told this since the ‘fic ostensibly is about Mass Effect and thus its readership would already know this, and the Systems Alliance being ‘Murca-Nazis had absolutely no effect on any of it, but told this we were anyway!
Friendly Neighborhood Nazis Counter: 7
Porsche Counter: 5