2408: Love and War – Chapter 4

Title: Love and War
Author: Z3R0 L0V3
Media: Video Game
Topic: Pokémon
Genre: Adventure / Romance
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by eatpraylove

Hey there, fellow patrons, and welcome back to “Love and War”! Last time, Dawn and Ash had one last horse race the night before her wedding day, which got derailed when Paul stabbed her maid and almost killed her before the actual ceremony in a seriously misguided attempt to gain control of Sinnoh. Fortunately for everyone, Ash busted out some decent (but still boringly-written) sword fighting skills and kept him from finishing the job.

So in this chapter, Ash and/or Dawn take the next logical step of informing Their Majesties that her fiancé is currently facedown outside the stables and almost killed both of them, so they can cancel the alliance/wedding and proceed with whatever steps necessary to charge a visiting royal with murder and conspiracy to overthrow the king.

Hahaha, no, that would take actual decent plotting. This is the moment alluded to in the summary where she and Ash go on the run, however. With the cliché counter at unlucky thirteen and still no sight of any honest-to-Arceus Pokémon anywhere around here, let’s get back to it.

And thanks to the comments section for continuing to get up to its usual “wait a minute, that would never work this way in real life” action. You’re gonna have plenty of material this time around, I can promise you that.

*reluctantly sits in riffing chair*

Chapter 4

Z3R0 L0V3 – Here’s another chapter! Happy Reading!

I don’t own anything!

And thank the Creation Trio for that.

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2372: Love and War – Chapter 3

Title: Love and War
Author: Z3R0 L0V3
Media: Video Game
Topic: Pokémon
Genre: Adventure / Romance
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by eatpraylove

Welcome back to “Love and War,” everyone! I’m your guest host, eatpraylove, and last chapter a whole bunch of stuff happened in a very poorly defined amount of time. More specifically, Princess Dawn got chewed out by her parents for having a friend on the castle staff (that being Ash the stableboy), they held a surprisingly belated welcome party for Prince Paul, I paid the Library ten imaginary dollars, and the cliché counter hit double digits and its first side orders of “why”!

Oh, and she’s supposed to marry Paul in a week (thanks to TacoMagic for confirming that a week is indeed way too short for medieval political marriages) and we still have no idea why this is even happening.

*sigh*

Well, the only way out is forward, as some smart guy once said. So let’s get back to it.

Cliché counter: Eleven with a double dose of “why”.

*flops into comfy riffing chair*

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2363: Sonichu — Issue 3 Sub-Episode 4 and Issue 4 Sub-Episode 5

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 3 Template Box and Issue 4 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonderful world of Sonichu!

Previously, Hedgehog Of Color tried to steal a McGuffin, but a cluster of recolored Sonichus with elemental powers beat the stuffing out of him and took it back.

That’s… literally it.

Typo Cunter: 61

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2359: Sonichu — Issue 3, Episodes 10 and 11

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 3 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the manifold wonders of Sonichu.

Last time Chris-Chan Sonichu, Sarah Nicole Hammer, and Wes Iseli got (for the most part) over their stupid soap opera bullshit and agreed to stop the Evil that had been released with their Anchuent Hedgehog Powers. This Evil took the form of a giant golem in an Egyptian headdress, controlled by a talking purple Sno Cone named Count Graduon, who had cut a deal with the witch Mary Lee Walsh to carry him around in exchange for assistance in her own mission of “shattering hearts” (whatever that means). The Power Chus kicked the golem’s ass and sent both Graduon and Walsh packing (or, rather, just let them run away), but then in the Sub-Episode Chris tracked Walsh to her office and appeared to kill her.

I wonder what Giovanni and Hedgehog Of Color are up to?

Typo Cunter: 45

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2353: Sonichu — Issue 2, Episode 9 and Sub-Episode 3

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 2 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonderful world of Sonichu.

Last time actually a whole lot of plot-relevant shit went down. Chris and Sonichu discovered an ancient ruin (left behind by the Cherokees, of all people!) which contained magical pedestals capable of empowering Chris’s medallion to be able to turn him into Chris-Chan Sonichu and also giving him an expositional vision from the ancient Cherokee “king” he is apparently a reincarnation of.

By some weird coincidence Sarah, the girl Chris has a one-sided boner for, and Wes, the dude Chris has a one-sided hateboner for due to his having briefly dated Sarah when they were all in high school, are also reincarnations of ancient Amerindian (or in the case of Wes and his ‘Wasabi Clan’ heritage, possibly Japanese) leaders, and they too have hedgehog powers. They’re all prophecized to band together to defeat some kind of Ancient Evil that got released when Sonichu found the cave, but Wes is more interested in acquiring the Cherokian Crown, an artifact which Chris apparently briefly possessed and which has THE POWAH TO RULE THE WOOOOOORLD!!!!

He beat the tar out of Chris while the both of them were in hedgehog form and managed to swipe the Crown, but then Sarah showed up and nailed him to a tree with a lightning arrow.

Typo Cunter: 40

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2349: Pokemon The Kanto Harem Chronicles – Chapters 19, 20, and 21

Title: Pokemon The Kanto Harem Chronicles
Author: Prince Sonic WindStriker
Media: Video Game
Topic: Pokemon
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter Nineteen, Twenty, and Twenty-One
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

WARNING: This fanfiction contains several NSFW elements, including possible scenes of sexual activity with a minor. I do plan on skipping over all portions of the fic with underage sexual activity, but reader discretion is HIGHLY advised.

Ladies and gentlemen, get out the party hats and break out the champagne bottles. Guess what time it is?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the end of this sack of shit!

So yeah, this is a very momentous occasion in this, because we’ve finally hit the end, and Good Lord in heaven I am so done with this it’s not even funny. And the good news is, we’re going to be able to skip over a very, very big chunk of the story because it wouldn’t be this fic if we didn’t have more underage sexual content to zoom right over, which means we don’t even have to be here that long!

What could be better?

Anyway, we’re gonna get started, because goddammit I want to be done with this nightmare just as much as you guys! So here we go!

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2347: Sonichu — Issue 2 Episodes 7 and 8

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 2 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

-WARNING-
Today’s comic contains potential flamebait in the form of Chris-Chan’s highly revisionist history of the Cherokee civilization.
Yes, really.

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonder that is Sonichu!

Last time, the whole ‘Hedgehog Of Color kidnaps Zapbud’ plot got pretty brutally resolved with Zapbud being recovered, Hedgehog of Color being punched in the face but otherwise left completely unchecked, and a robot named Metal Sonichu being sent to the Moon.

And then there was a bunch of exposition about Sonic actually having been a shapeshifting hedgehog lady working for the oft-mentioned-but-never-formally-introduced Mary Lee Walsh and a talking purple SnoCone named Count Graduon to try to get Sonichu to fulfill a ‘prophecy’.

Also, Chris got stood up on a date at a Starbucks.

Typo Cunter: 31

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