1006: half-blood go back – Chapter One

Title: half-blood go back
Author: sparklydolphin
Media: Book / Movie
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians / Harry Potter
Genre: None  Listed
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by agigabyte

agig: Cain and I are back, and this time we’re doing “half-blood go back”. It’s an utter shitfest.

Cain: Let’s get started.

i created an OC for this story. Her name is Ariana L. She is a daughter of Athena but is the only one in her cabin that has brown hair. She has hazel eyes and is  best friends with Nico and Rachel. I also changed it to the prophet of eight. She went into Tartarus with Percy and Annabeth.

Cain: Woah there, could we have an intro before info?

So nico, rachel and i were walking around the forest like we do every night when my half sister Annabeth came running up to us calling our name with percy trailing behind her.

agig: Holy shit! The hell was that?! Is there a reason those three walk around the forest full of monsters at night?

“nico, rachel, ariana, chiron needs you guys.”

Cain: Uh, let’s move on.

“um ok” was the only response we got from nico while rachel and i just stood there looking confused scared and excited at the same time because we knew chiron needing us could only mean one thing.

a quest.

Cain: Those two words got a whole paragraph devoted to them. Were they that important?

we got to the big house only to see the cabin counsellors sitting around the pingpong able looking scared and nervous like something was wrong. i also noticed some weird gold coins that looked like drachmas but a bit different with the designs, and a gold necklace with a long chain and an hourglass not eh the end. there were also three old looking envelops on the table. they said:

Cain: What? What does this mean?! Why?! Not eh the end?

agig: THE MEANING OF “NOT EH THE END” CAN’T EVEN BE DIVINED USING THE CONTEXT OF THE PARAGRAPH!

rachel dare, cave in the middle of the north woods, camp half-blood

nico di angelo, cabin 13, camp half-blood

ariana l, cabin 6, camp half-blood

agig: Not entirely sure what this is, but whatever.

when we had walked in the room the counsellors were looking at us like when i had been claimed because i am the only person in cabin 6 with brown hair and hazel eyes. then i noticed chiron in his wheel chair form looking nersous like when the eight went to new rome. i still had nightmare even thought it was 3 years ago.

Cain: Yes, because your hair and eye color are so important. Mary Sue counter: 2 Also, “I still had nightmare” implies she was there due to the books having it be seven. Mary Sue counter: 3

“well i have a quest for you three” said chiron,” but it will involve going to the past”. the moment he said that our faces dropped.

agig: Because time travel I guess?

“well i guess all we need is a prophecy” said nico. then the familiar green glow showed up in rachels eyes.

Cain: So they went from jaw dropping to calmly saying they need a prophecy, causing Rachael to immediately prophecize.

“3 half blood shall join the past

the brave the loyal and the smart shall last

and go to reunite

but not to join the fight

they all came

but they will never be the same”

Cain: That is not how you write a prophecy.

agig: This is what it should be:

“3 half blood shall join the past
the brave the loyal and the smart shall last
and go to reunite
but not to join the fight
they all came
but they will never be the same”

Cain: See? Easy.

(A/N i know its cheesy but i couldn’t come up with anything)

Cain and agig: AH! MY EYES! OH GOD, THE PAIN!

then rachel collapsed as usual and will solace brought to the imfermery.

Cain: Show that to us again, please.

and then will solace brought us to the imfermery

agig: That is such a strong misspelling of infirmary that it doesn’t even look like any other words. Also, who the hell is Will Solace?

“well i guess you guys need to pack, you will be needing these letter and a lot of cloths. meet back here with rachel tomorrow at 8 a clock” said chiron and with that we left.

Cain: You don’t, however, get clothes. Only cloths.

i don’t own hp or pjo

agig: Fuck.

if u thought i did your not very smart

Cain: You don’t get to judge people’s intelligence until you spell that sentence correctly.

now here the next chapter

so the next morning i got up at around 7 am only to find thatannabeth was already awake and reading a book. that wasn’t unusual but she didn’t look very happy. so i went p to see why.

Cain: “thatannabeth” sounds like an FFN username. Also, “so I went p to see why” but… but… What the hell was that?!

” hey annabeth whats wrong?” i asked.

agig: Move that quotation mark over a space, will you?

*Cain uses unspecified powers to move the quotation mark*

Cain: I’ll be right back.

*Cain comes back a few minutes later with an odd device*

Minigraph counter: 13

Cain: This tracks all the tiny paragraphs that should be part of a main body.

“oh its nothing. Chiron just told me about your quest and I’m doing some research. i found out that your going to an imaginary world?” she replied.

Cain: Imaginary world? What? When did that happen?

cause that made me fell so much better then i had before she had said that.

“well I’m going to get packed” i said.

” and I’m going to go see Chiron.” annabeth said, and with that she left with the book still open on her bed.

agig: What the fuck was that?! Also,

Minigraph Counter: 15

Cain: Well, I hate this story.

so when she left i went to go get packed, but the i realized my bracelet was gone. its not just any bracelet, its a magical one with three charms on it, one for my sword, one for my dagger and one for my bow and arrows. when i press the button on the charm the weapon of the charm i press appears in my hand.

agig: Magical item that is more OP than riptide and Jason’s coin-sword-lance-thing combined, Mary Sue counter: 4

i immediately ran outside to go find the stolls and sure enough one of them had my bracelet in their hands, laughing their heads off. they stopped immediately when i stomped up to them glaring daggers. if looks could kill they were already dead.

Cain: Absolutely perfect glare, still counts. Mary Sue counter: 5

when they saw the look on my face they dropped the bracelet and ran of into the forest. i ran as fast as i could into the forest. but not before i grabbed my bracelet.

when i found them they were cowering behind trees.

“please don’t kill us.” they screamed” we don’t want to die”

agig: So, she’s a materialistic bitch. Just perfect.

“alright.” i said,”on one condition, you steal my stuff again i will kill you, painfully, and slowly.” all of this was done with my dagger in my hand.

“yes ma’am yes sir yes” they said in unison. and then they ran off.

then i had to quickly run back to my cabin to get packed.

Cain: Play that again.

“yes ma’am yes sir yes”

agig: WHAT?! WHY THE- BUT- NO! FUCKING DIE IN A FUCKING FIRE!

Cain: We should probably end this now. Bye!

 

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15 Comments on “1006: half-blood go back – Chapter One”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    . when i press the button on the charm the weapon of the charm i press appears in my hand.

    Why do charms have buttons?????

    • S.M.F. says:

      Presumably, the author meant a summoning charm (on a bracelet?) of some sort.
      I don’t think charms require buttons in Percy Jackson-verse, though. :/

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    the moment he said that our faces dropped.
    Better pick them up, then, you wouldn’t want them to get dirty.

  3. Eryn says:

    Inserting an author’s note into the middle of the story. Pet peeve. *groans*

  4. We were doing so well without any of the Percy Jackon books. Oh well, any of you guys read the broken bow series?

  5. TacoMagic says:

    i created an OC for this story. Her name is Ariana L. She is a daughter of Athena but is the only one in her cabin that has brown hair. She has hazel eyes and is best friends with Nico and Rachel. I also changed it to the prophet of eight. She went into Tartarus with Percy and Annabeth.

    Wow, that is the absolute fastest Mary Sue I've ever seen! She went full Sue event-horizon before the fic even started!

  6. TacoMagic says:

    Cain: You don’t get to judge people’s intelligence until you spell that sentence correctly.


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