994: Persona 3: Trade Me – Chapter 19 Part 2

Title: Persona 3: Trade Me
Author: Bayanette Winters
Media: Video Game
Topic: Persona
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter 19
Critiqued by Erttheking

Ert: So, is the fight over?

John Freeman who was Henry Freeman’s Dad: John Freeman hit all of evil out of Magnus!

Nora: He beat the tar out of him so hard he vomited up a few organs. He took off after though, but he’s really hurting after that.

John Freeman: *Lowers head* John Freeman not get blak Lanturn Rung tho.

Goeth: No worries. With you backing us up now, I think things will work out just fine. The others are all out on patrol, trying to hunt him down. In the meantime let’s review this thing.

Ert: Songs like a plan. Also, you know how the last snarking ended with Ken and Aila focusing on stupid bullshit but overall the scene was pretty calm?

A figure took up the entire window pane, blocking the full moon outside. Ken and Aila shared a gasp; the Shadow couldn’t be seen completely, but its dark head and shoulders took up the entire glass frame. With a shrill cry, it rose a hand and pressed against the window until a shatter rang through the apartment. Ken yanked Aila back towards the kitchen, just out of the Shadow’s reach. They both toppled to the floor.

Ert: Yeah it just kinda jumps from that straight into the fight here. Pacing is something that seems to be more of a guideline.

The fingers of the Shadow’s hand were crooked and shriveled, but each nail was perfectly manicured and painted a vibrant red. It tried to stretch further in towards Aila’s legs. Ken was faster, pulling his lance from the counter and stabbing at the fingertips. Another shrill cry echoed through the building.

Nora: *Sigh* you know, all the other shadows had really interesting designs in this story. Demented, screwed up and deformed. And this time? The only part of it we get described is its hands. Oh don’t get me wrong, the idea of its hands being shriveled but with well painted hands is pretty cool, but I’m disappointed we don’t get to see the rest of it.

Give her to me, it begged. GIVE HER TO ME! Ken readied his lance once more, thrusting it between the monster’s fingers. He went to do it once more, but Aila had risen to pull him back. She dragged him away from the Shadow and to her room.

Ert: Um. Between the monster’s fingers? In other words, he missed. And then he tried to do it again? Yeesh, this kid.

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