Fillertacular Special: AdmiralSakai and Serketry Riff Even More Godawful MLP Fanart (And A Wikipedia Page)

Hello hello all you patrons! Somebody didn’t post something somewhere, or something, so we’ve got an empty posting slot and a crapton of terrible MLP fanworks that Serketry and I riffed in Steam chat- and also a random Wikipedia page that pissed me off and I bothered him about. So let’s dive back into the wonderful world of anthropomorphic horse-girl pinups, bizarre facial expressions, and EEEEDGE!

As always, expect some rather more risque than usual visuals, and Serketry will be in bold.

Untitled by theowlette

JEGUS

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What the fuck even is this?
HIS BELT BUCKLES HAVE BELT BUCKLES!

Is this supposed to be BDSM, or is that just part of his(?) costume?

WHY IS HIS TAIL TIED TOGETHER?!!?
It’s like someone tried to draw Edward Scissorhands, ponified, then gave up!

What even is that? It has feathers, but it looks like a dragon, but it has a ponylike snout.

It has a horse snout.
Look at Celestia, she has an MLP style head.
That thing looks like a dragon from regular media.

Also Celestia’s horn is sticking up from her head at not the right angle. If she was standing upright, it would point backwards.

Yeah… Because otherwise it’d be lodged in the OC’s skull.

Also, a fur blanket?
I thought Celestia would have better taste.

Who says this is her room? I don’t think she has unfinished wooden planks for a floor

I thought Celestia would have better taste.

… She really should have better taste.

In general.

[cm] Sunny D by bakki

More porn.

Oh my god what is this?

I love how they blurred out the BRAND NAME of all things.

But namechecked it in the title.

Because heaven forbid a copyright lawyer for Sunny Delight see their trademark in your underage lesbian humanized copyrighted fictional horse porn.

At least it’s not piss this time…

That we know of!

[It also occurred to me, as I formatted this for the LOTD post, that Anthro Dash here doesn’t have eyes. Her hair is short enough that they should be clearly visible, but clearly they are not!]

Rain Lights by FidzFox

Jegus.

There but for the grace of high-tops goes the SFW tag.

Yeah….

Also,

I can’t even tell if she’s wearing pants.

I…. think so?

Ah.
Yeah.

There’s a dark border around her… uhhh…. cheeks.

Yes.
I see it now.
Had to look way too hard at a teenager’s ass.

What even is she sitting on?

Uh, a log?

Her ass is like 2cm above the ground. But there’s nothing behind her.

Piece of the house?

I guess?

Maybe’s she’s leaning up against the house.

I love how we’re staring intently at a cartoon horse girl’s ass and this is what we’re talking about.

Eeyup.

… I save these chatlogs by the page number and then the image number [since EqD is organized like a blog, each art post has a persistent URL linked to its number].
This one is titled #151, but the URL is 22.
What the hell?

And why does this bother me so much more than the teenage Rainbow Dash crotchshot?

Because you’re a coder?
And this is shoddy code.

I don’t know if that makes me sound amazing or sad.

Bat Tag 2019: Bat Ridden by honeybbear

What am I looking at?
Seriously what am I looking at?

I think her wings are wrapped around her head???

So…
I see 3 pupils.

And she has…. a beard???

Those are clearly the lower jaw’s fangs, but I see no lower jaw.

Like I said, I think that’s a beard!

Those eyebrows belong in another dimension.
And how many thumb hooks does this bat have?
I count 4!

8. There’s some on top, too.

Right.
Up top
Just.
What.

Oh, wait, my bad, I think there’s actually 10.
Also she has no nostrils.

And you know what?
I bet this isn’t even the face.
It’s the facial mimicry meant to throw off predators.

Well, it sure did have the opposite effect with us.

Which in this case, would be erasers.

Or FLAMMER PREPZ.

That too.

[Commission] Everything comes to an end by Sa1ntMax

…. nope.

JEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFING INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN MY JEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF…

We got RED & BLACK…
We got… FNAF eyes…
Corpses overall…
Wait…
Wasn’t there a “max” crappypasta?

Max???

Since the author is Sa1ntMax.

OH!
RIGHT!
Mindless Max!

WELP

The one with the massive mind loss and the picture of the author’s little brother trying on a windbreaker next to…
a painting….
of an elf…
with a unicorn growing out of her eye socket…..
…….

It’s true, then.
All the creepypasta really IS connected!!!

Also why is the Jeff Clone standing on a giant sea anemone?

No clue.

No.
No.
I finally understand.
JEFF THE KILLER UNICORN KILLED NEMO’S MOM IN FINDING NEMO!!!!!!!

Now THERE’s a theory-pasta for you.

I mean.
That barricuda’s name coulda been Jeff.
Wouldn’t be all that out of place, really.

I’m sure there is indeed a creepypasta with that exact premise.

[Adopt] Rainbow clown Auction by AkiiiChaos

More like Rainbow JEFF.

…..
More like HORRIFYING SHIPSPAWN.

Spawn of WHOM?????

RD and Pinkie.
Don’t know where the horn’s from…

No I think this has to literally be Jeff the Killer’s child.
And the horn is actually a knife.
Because EDGE.

Well, it’s called Rainbow Clown…
But, sure.

MLP fim – NMM’s Treat by Gregan811

WOOOOW that’s some rapeface.

Well that’s certainly… an expression.

Or possibly sanity loss.
Or possibly both.

I’m not even getting rapeface, just “AAAAAAAAAAAAA”.

Yeah, I’m kind of getting a reverse “Me Gusta”.
Like she was expecting something sexy in front of her and it turned out to not be.

Though. she’s looking up.
Maybe this is right before Celestia nukes her?

With the tongue stuck half-out?

Yeah, screaming.

Actually yeah I can sort of see it.
Although the ‘screaming’ bit works just as well for having clicked her own tag on Fimfiction with ‘view Mature’ on.

There, we saved this from an undignified fate.

Arguably the nuke would have been kinder than what she’d find on Fimfiction.

Well, yeah. She recovered from the nuke.

And nothing can ever recover from shipping.

MLP Commission – Sparkdust Knight and Red Moon by SugaryIceCreamMlp

I Do Not Like Where #28 Is Going.

Oh, wow, YEAH…

There’s rapeface, and then there’s RAPEFACE, and then there’s this.

Is there such a thing as full-body rapeface?

I think that’s called… rape?

I think it’s called #28.

Yeah…

Also  what the fuck kind of name is Sparkdust Knight??

My Little Centaur by Skirtzzz

Well this is new.

Not really.
It’s pasties.
We’ve seen pasties before.
[Upon further examination, they appear to actually be some kind of bikini top that I’m sure has a proper name but I don’t care enough to look up.]
Oh, the centaurs?

Yeah.

Again, not as new as you’d think.

Actually now that you mention it they aren’t new either, yeah.

Though, seeing all of them together as centaurs.
That is kinda new.
Usually it’s just AJ.

With… weirdly wider horse halves.

Well, more horselike horse halves.

I typically complain about people making the “little” ponies too little, but they aren’t actually horse-sized, either.

Huh?
They’re pretty darn close.
Compared a human rider with the human torso.
They’re pretty close to actual horse size.

Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Because based on objects in the show [and also the freaky stick-people in EqG] they are indeed smaller than actual horses, just not the size of cats like Fall To Equestria made them.

Well, they’re not centaurs either. And it’d look even weirder if the horse halves were comically smaller than the human parts.

I’m sure there is fanart of it.

Exactly.
This is merely weird.
That would be WEIRD.

Cosmos by Jagga-Chan

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.

ASS-PEBBLES???

WHAT THE FUCKIS THA- JRG.

Looks like it’s leaking, whatever it is.

It’s leaking stars!
It’s crying stars!

And crystals.
And Mary Sue.
And ass.

Just.
WHAT?
WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?

I mean.
The whole “Crying stars” thing could kind of work for Luna?
But not this lamebake.

Man.
Even for Luna that’s some Doot Me Up shit.

Yeah…..
Wait.
Is this a LAMELING?
It has the colors.
And the vacuous eyes.

I can’t even fucking tell.
Maybe?

This is every bad character design decision rolled into one, so I think it qualifies as a lameling by default.

It’s like one of those cordyceps ants.
Only it has, like, 3 competing parasites.
We got the plant growth, the fractal stars, and the crystals.
It’s a walking CDC nightmare.
Oh.
And it’s named cosmos.
For added fuck you. [My Litle Pony: The Movie was originally planned to have an edgy older brother for Celestia and Luna named Lord Cosmos]

Can you imagine if this was in the Movie?

I woulda walked out [like the family with the little girl who he told me did at the half-hour mark when he first saw it, leaving him in a completely empty theater].

I mean, that’d be not a bad premise: The Mane Six versus the Shitty OC Invasion.
Wait that’s what the Movie was.

Only if they play it straight.
And the movie did not.

Draconequus by 1AN1

#36….. nice, uhh…… nice potion flask placement.

Discord Clone…
And wow.
Yeah.
Trucknuts!

I…. have never seen that before.
In fanart, I mean.
I’ve seen trucknuts before. Unfortunately.

Yeah, I was gonna say.

New superstar by Margony

Wooooow.

More Discord Clone.

So, whadda you think.
Screeching, overproduced edge-metal?

Not worth it.

Or weirdly quiet, mawkish ballads?

The latter.
Definitely.

Yeah, probably.

They’re a half-demon with a *sensitive soul*.

*half-drmon with a sensitive soul.

“I SEAT THE STUFF. OF A GENTLE SOUL. AND I WEEP THE TEARS. OF A POET.
AND LIKE ANY BEAUTIFUL ART POET. WHO IS IN A STRUGGLE OF CREATIVE CALAMITY. I MUST RETREAT TO MY CRAFT.”

“It’s where my drmons hide.”

Well, that too.

Also, I fucked up, it’s ‘I sweat the stuff’.

They fixed it in the album liner. But in the song he clearly says “seat”. Even in his concerts, years later, he still says it.

Heheheh.
I WILL REINVENT MYSELF AS AN ARTIST!!! AND AGAIN I WILL RISE. LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASSES. (*PLAY ON WORDS*.)
Man, Caliborn has some good lines.

I bet he actually says “play on words” in his concerts too.

100%
I personally thought he lost it completely with the rap breakdown, AND SO I BIDE MY TIME. PERFECTING EVERY ASPECT OF MY CRAFT. POLISHING, WHILE DEMOLISHING. HONING, WHILE OWNING. AND IN TIME. YOU WILL SEE MY MASTERPIECE.

Oh we’re seeing his masterpiece, all right.

Or possibly his masturbationpiece.

CMC children by MylittleRosie

The fuck are these names??? “Violet Cheater“?????

Chanter.
But yeah.
That’s some weird naming there.

And then “Tiny Seedling” is not going to have a fun time in high school.

…
“Forget Me Knot”
…
Given some of this stuff is from FurAffinity…

“Brina Cupcake”
That first part isn’t even a word.

And I dunno, I think “Forget Me Knot” sounds more like a terrible goth band.

I really wish I didn’t have to think about it at all.

Ember McLain_Danny Phantom by Vale-Bandicoot96

Oh hey, it’s that show. With the character.

How am I supposed to remember your name when I don’t even know what it is?

“Ember.” A far, FAR inferior Ember.

Oh yeah, Danny Phantom, the one people are always crossbreeding with dinosaurs in Jurassic Park crossovers.

Yeah probably.
I just keep running into this show through its crossovers with OTHER media.
Like this.

Yeah…
I only know it from the Library and the aforementioned Jurassic Park crossovers.

SERIOUSLY WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DANNY PHANTOM JURASSIC PARK CROSSOVERS??

SBC: Nice To Meet YOU by Ipun

Uh hold up
Is that guy foaming at the mouth?
Or is that a beard?

I think he’s polishing the statue???

But.
The angles.
They’re all wrong!

Actually, all of the angles are wrong.
The pillars are somehow behind the floor.

Eeyup.
Now I see how that guy’s foaming at the mouth.
Serious sanity loss from the alien geometry.

Also the moonrays are coming from the corner even though the Moon is in the center of the shot.

Eeyup.
And the rays are in front of the pillars.
And the statue.
Somehow.

Oh wow you’re right.
Also why is it called “Nice To Meet YOU”
Is there someone else around who it isn’t nice to meet?

She’s looking straight at the camera.

Oh, good, because the last thing I want is for this to interact with the real world.
Also that statue very conspicuously has sockets, but no eyes.

Well, everyone’s already been driven mad.
That one guy is foaming at the mouth, and the girl thinks she’s in some work of art.
Commit em both and move on.

… done.

[Commission] Night Shade by tikrs007

Remember these?
The utterly banal expression sheets?
I don’t miss them at all.

No?
Which speaks volumes in and of itself.

They were fucking everywhere when I was in highschool.

Oh like you mean the real ones.

Yeah.

Those were more elementary school I thought [At this point I was still under the impression that Serketry was referring to these awful things, which were a fixture of the school councilor’s office up until sixth grade].

No, I was seeing them up until graduation.

That’s sadder than anything in this art dump.

The ‘edgy’ one where it’s just 25 copies of Vader…

Oh.
Huh.
Yeah that must’ve never made it up north [to Ohio, where I am from and Serketry is not].
I mean I’ve seen the Vader one, just not in school.

That was on shirts down here.

Yeah, no, I only saw it on a SomethingAwful post ridiculing them.
We had the real ones in elementary school though.

Welp.
Well, here’s to the trashbin of history.
Overflowing.

I can salute to that.

Come in Commander for ScarX_X by Mabiruna

Aaaaand shitty…. Mass… Effect….?

Ass Effect.

How is this Mass Effect?
It looks like Cyberpunk or Shadowrun.

Yeah I dunno.
Unless it’s Shitty Fembot EDI from 3.

Nothing at the source… Ok.
So I do see the Normandy blueprints.
Wait.
Is that the Cerberus logo?
In blue?
Yeah, I think this must be the boobot.

Yeah…..

Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

Ok, that was kind of a warm-and-fuzzy feeling, actually. When you said “boobot”, my first thought was a helium-filled ball with tiny monojointed arms, like the Boo enemies in Mario.

Sorry, we both know what world we live in.

No. Thank you.
That means I still have a soul, somehwere.

Well of course you still have a soul.
You’re still riffing this shitty art.
Instead of just taking it as-is.

Ok, so, at first I read that as “instead of jerking it”.
Which is still applicable.

kiss on the cheek by Exceru-Karina

Frenching passively.

GOFFFUCKERS.

Oh god they are literally frenching passively.

EEYUP.

And I’m pretty sure that a throbbing you-know-what is about to be put into a tool sexily.

Shining Armor and Somba (Rule63) by ShadowReindeer

…
…
…
…
Why?

I can’t tell which one of them is supposed to be r63’d!
Possibly both!

Fem(?)Sombra is such a shitty lover, Fem(?)Shiny FELL ASLEEP.

*fel aspleep lol

Exactly.

“Now. I’M the King!â€� by Roderick JE

Nooo! Don’t throw your wife?! Again!
Don’t worry, folks, she’ll be alright.

WHAT the….

Yeah, male body hair doesn’t work like that.

I don’t think anything works like that.
…
Oh how nice, he has the Euro sign that appears in all the ASCII-vomit descriptions as a belt buckle!

[LATER]

So, while researching the Wikipedia “equine diseases’ category [for Extended Cut], I found something called “Poll Evil”.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poll_evil

“Poll Evil”!!!

Someone was getting creative.
Because, yeah, the poll is a part of the horse.

Well, yeah, I know what the poll is. I just don’t get why this, of all the various weird, gross seeping, swelling, lethal diseases that can affect horses, this was the one they singled out and decided to just call “evil”.

“Fistulous withers”.
Who names a disease fistulous?

Doctors?
It’s at least an actual medical term.
Even in, like, the middle ages I don’t think they described abcesses or swellings as physically composed of “evil”.

Tom.
I think I’ve mentioned what a teratoma is, right? Which is literally called ‘monster’?

Yes but that’s Latin.
They slip all kinds of stupid things in under Latin names.
This didn’t even bother with that.

Fair.
Yeah, that was my last defense.

Yeah this is just fucking inexcusable.
I do think this is an interesting language bit, though.

Hm?

The use of Latin in technical and formal contexts has made all of the things that the actual Latin technical terms mean, when translated out of Latin, sound dumbed-down and silly.

Like ‘monster body’.

Yeah, or legal terms like ‘habeas corpus’ which don’t even relate to the thing they are referring to in a literal way.

Yeah….

Weird.

[Still later]

Nettle Vienna (‘Icebox Vienna’): Full Featured by One-Violet-Rose

So, we’ve seen creepy as fuck plushies before.
But I think this is the first plushie hidden behind the mature tag.

.
.
.

And it should not exist.

… Is that

Yeah.

Is that a vagina cooler?

Yeah.
And a neck stump cooler.

Are there two separate beer holders? Or do you shove beers down her neck hole and take them out of her vagina in some kind of hideously inaccurate peristaltic process?

…
That might entirely be the point.

Also, could they really not be bothered to actually put the first one in her mouth??? I mean, it’s one thing to make a creepy stuffed animal beer cooler with a vagina based off of a character on a kids’ TV show, but it’s quite another to stop at half measures!

Guess not.

Seriously why does it start midway along, this is bothering me.

I have no fucking idea and I’m not digging deeper than this.

Why?Are you worried you might find another beer?

Or vore.
Or unbirth.

Yeah that’s always a possibility.

…

Oh, and it says it’s “Full featured”.

…
Yeah I bet.

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