2600: Jurassic Lions – Chapter 7

 

Title: Jurassic Lions
Author: stephthewriter2
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Lion King/Jurassic Park
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello once again, dear Patrons, and welcome to the final chapter! And I do mean final, because the fic is listed as being complete. Considering there’s considerably less than a thousand words to go I’m not very optimistic that everything is going to reach a satisfactory resolution, but that is a common occurrence in the Library.

It’s always a sad day when I reach the end of a fic, mostly because it means I have to go looking for a new fic. Subnautica High has a few new chapters, so I’ll probably take a look there first.  And there’s always the Stormclits and Femperials if I’m feeling particularly masochistic.

Any-who, in the last chapter we continued the trend of retracing the lions’ path back to the shore and Scar was “eaten” by a pack of velociraptors but will probably manage to survive despite that being extremely unlikely. This chapter is exceptionally short, so I don’t really know what sort of deus ex machina  the author is going to attempt to pull out of their rump, but I probably won’t like it.

To the fic!

7) Love and Home

Already not looking good.

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2596: Jurassic Lions – Chapter 6

Title: Jurassic Lions
Author: stephthewriter2
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Lion King/Jurassic Park
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello once again, dear Patrons, and May the First be with you!

Yeah, I know; but I’m not posting on Monday so I’m taking what I can get. Now, is everyone ready for another chapter of lions wandering about doing jack-all in a jungle and occasionally getting angsty and/or being chased by a dinosaur?

Too bad, there’s a couple more chapters to go.

In the prior chapter Scar whined out some exposition and everyone managed to get something to eat before planning to return to the shore where they started from.

That seems really sparse, I must be forgetting something.

:checks note:

No, that was pretty much it. To the fic!

6) Reunited Too Soon

Too soon? If that’s a reference to the lions getting back together, they were only apart for a few hours, perhaps a day at the most. What exactly would be the proper amount of time for Scar to sulk?

All three lions had their fill for the day and they walked on.

I assume that means they all gorged themselves and then found nice places to nap for most of the day the way they normally would in the wild.

Horner started to lead Mufasa back to the beach while Scar followed a stream. He thought the safest place would be the shore.

Despite not having any evidence to support this.

The felines were heading to the same place.

Does that mean they finally ditched and/or ate the lizard-chicken?

He was walking farther down following the stream that Scar heard a chirruping sound. He looked behind but there was nothing.

It looks like we’re going to have one of those “character hears chirping noise, gets progressively more paranoid, and then gets attacked by monster” scenes that appear in every Jurassic Park film.

Simba, Mufasa, and Horner were deeper in the forest when they heard a growl from behind. Scar looked behind such as Mufasa.

“Spinosaurus, run!” yelled Horner.

Why is he telling a spinosaurus to run?

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2591: Jurassic Lions – Chapter 5

 

Title: Jurassic Lions
Author: stephthewriter2
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Lion King/Jurassic Park
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello once again, dear Patrons, and welcome to another chapter featuring lions wandering around and occasionally seeing dinosaurs. In the last chapter the lions not only saw dinosaurs, but they were almost attacked by them! And then Scar buggered off on his own while Mufasa, Simba, and the lizard-chicken climbed a tree and stopped near a branch – hopefully because he realizes that he is far too heavy to be climbing up a tree, but it’s probably for something else.

Now, on to the fic!

5) Separation

That’s the thing you do to divide an egg up when you’re baking, right?

They were up in the tree that Mufasa put Simba down and Horner sat down when Simba asked,

“Are we going to see Uncle Scar again?”

I’d be a little more curious as to why this random tree trunk is so roomy, and possibly wondering what happened to the velociraptors that were chasing then, but that’s just me.

“It depends where he goes,” Mufasa told him. “Your uncle has always been secretive.”

Yeah, but he’s been here exactly as long as you have. It’s not like he’s had time to start up a secret stegosaurus army or something.

“Why won’t he ever stay with us at home?

Because Scar is male and that’s not how things work in a lion pride.

How did he get the scar?”

Mufasa never wanted to say this to Simba but now was the time.

Hanging off a tree trunk in the middle of a strange forest is the perfect time for exposition?

“It came from an accident. He led me to the buffalo for a reason but in the meantime, Uncle Scar was hurt. A buffalo attacked him.”

Ummm … What?

“Was he okay?”

Dude, he has a massive scar across his face. Of course he wasn’t okay, that would be a major injury.

“Of course.

:headdesk:

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2587: Jurassic Lions – Chapter 4

 

Title: Jurassic Lions
Author: stephthewriter2
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Lion King/Jurassic Park
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello once again, my dear Patrons, and welcome back to more apex predator shenanigans!

In the last chapter …

:flips through notes:

They saw a few more dinosaurs, Horner warned the lions that there are predators near the building they are suddenly very interested in going to, and then they continued on their way through the jungle.

Damn. That wasn’t very much. Hopefully something will actually happen in this chapter.

4) The Worse Dinosaurs

Is it the lizard-chicken? I know there’s only one of him, but I think he should get counted multiple times.

It was worth it for the long walk that the lions made it to a stone building that was covered with vines.

Which is weird since they recently expressed their desires to return home, a home which isn’t anywhere near this building.

There were stairs leading up to a door. But around the door were engravings of fossils.

Because lions from Africa definitely know what a fossil is.

The windows were shattered that vines surrounded them.

The windows broke the vines? How do that?

“Is this the place?” Simba asked.

“Yeah,” said Horner. “This is where we were born.”

Really? Because based on your vague description this sounds like the Visitor’s Center for the original park. There was a small lab on the premises for the tour, but the bulk of the animals were bred on Site B.

Mufasa looked at Horner confused that he first looked at him but ascended the stairs. Scar and Simba followed him.

I’m glad someone was able to follow that, because I’m lost.

“Aren’t you coming Horner?” Simba requested, noticing Horner wasn’t with him.

“No,” the dinosaur replied. “I’m staying out here.”

“Okay.”

Wait, isn’t Horner their guide? He’s the one who told them about the building and led them all the way to it, so why he isn’t going inside with them? How are they going to … do whatever it is they are supposed to be doing there without him? I doubt they’ve even seen a building before this.

And what exactly are they going to do there? I don’t think it’s ever been mentioned. There’s not really any logical reason, or even an in-fic reason, for them to be there other than because it’s a key location in the films.

With a push, Mufasa was able to open the large door. Inside was nothing they were expecting.

I don’t really know what they were expecting as they literally have no frame of reference for what they are experiencing right now.

Once they were inside, Mufasa and Scar first noticed the many bones on the ground. There were stairs leading to a higher floor but around them were decorated walls. There was a sign on the ground that wrote,

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth

The lions can frickin’ READ now?!?

Also – the sign wrote words on the ground? You sure about that, author?

“What’s your plan now Mufasa?” Scar teased.

“Just let me think,” Mufasa complained.

Stop when you smell burning.

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2583: Jurassic Lions – Chapter 3

Title: Jurassic Lions
Author: stephthewriter2
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Lion King/Jurassic Park
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and happy Friday to you all.

The lion trio finally made it to land in the last chapter, and met an incredibly well-informed plot-bunny lizard-chicken named Horner who took them to the opening dinosaur reveal from the first film. I think the plan was to take the lions to some sort of building, but I assume the power to the fences will get cut soon and then theere will be more shenanigans.

Let’s see, shall we?

3) Jurassic Park

I can almost hear the theme music.

The lions had a long stare at the dinosaur. Another brachiosaur came by and gave the same bellowing sound and ate. There was another dinosaur.

After watching the gentle giants, the lions continued their walk down the jungle. But wherever they went, there were more dinosaurs.

“So. That’s a dinosaur.”

“Yep.”

“And there’s more than one of them.”

“Looks like.”

“You’re also a dinosaur.”

“Yep.”

“But you’re tiny. And they … aren’t.”

“Ummm-hmmm.”

“Okay then. Good talk.”

There was one that looked like a rhino but with three spikes. Horner said it was a Triceratops.

This is very much like walking around the life and science museum with a small child, but there’s no whale skeleton in the rafters. Also – they’re still in a jungle, right? Ceratopsids tend to have a lot of neck-frills and facial horns that would very quickly become a liability in a forest.

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2580: Jurassic Lions – Chapter 2

 

Title: Jurassic Lions
Author: stephthewriter2
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Lion King/Jurassic Park
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Welcome back, all my lovely Patrons.

In the first chapter, Mufasa, Scar, and Simba the Afterthought were abducted by a herd of zebra sailors and were in the process of being taken to New York via the west coast of Costa Rica when a storm capsized their ship. We left the three lions on a single impossibly bouyant plank, plucking fish right out of the damn ocean like it’s a chest freezer.

:eye-twitch:

I’m fine. On to the next chapter, where I hope they eventually reach some land so I don’t have to put up with the ‘fishing’ nonsense.

2) An Island

Yay!

More nights went on for them that Scar, Mufasa, and Simba were stranded on the ocean.

But their days were spent in a lovely cabana with those fancy little umbrella drinks served in whole fruits.

They were able to fish for food but they couldn’t drink anything. Scar and Simba did try the water in the ocean but it made them ill. They didn’t take another.

At least they know the saltwater isn’t potable.

Simba was already losing his faith, Mufasa was praying every night, and Scar wouldn’t talk to anyone.

I’m sure all the pantheons are very disappointed not to hear Scar’s bitching.

How are they going to make it home?

I still think that they should be focusing on reaching land first before making plans to get home.

“We’re not going to make it,” Simba cried. “Are we going to die Dad?”

“No son,” said Mufasa. “We’ll make it.”

“Any regrets?” Scar commented. Mufasa and Simba looked to him. “Do you have any regrets Mufasa? I’ve got many.”

“I can’t think of any.”

“Like you regret for being my brother? Or an uncle?” Mufasa exhaled. “Or…nothing.”

Great pep talk, grade A. I especially like how Mufasa goes from trying to reassure his son to asking his brother if he has any regrets. Very uplifting.

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2577: Jurassic Lions – Chapter 1

Title: Jurassic Lions
Author: stephthewriter2
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Lion King/Jurassic Park
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, my dear Patrons, and welcome to a new fic!

Continuing last week’s theme of Jurassic Park crossovers, this one is a Jurassic Park/ Lion King crossover.

Yes, that’s a thing. There’s only a handful of fics listed for this crossover – and five of those are technically the same fic broken into lumps as well as a stand-alone “trailer” for said fic – but that doesn’t make them less of a thing. (Don’t worry, it’s on the list.)

Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

Mufasa never got along with his brother to begin with but once they find themselves together with Mufasa’s son, the three must work together if they want to return home after being shipwrecked at Isla Nublar.

Right away I can see a problem with trying to Madagascar the lions to the island;  I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a map before, but Isla Nublar is off the west coast of Costa Rica and Africa … isn’t.

Not pictured: Africa.

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