Title: HE SEES YOU WHEN YOUR SLEEPING [sic]
Author: Someone on Reddit, I think?
Topic: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town???
URL: Trollpasta Rehost
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Guard-Novitiate Psk’nyor “Nina” C’hon
Hello hello all you patrons, and happy holidays!
“Oh, bah humglub. Your species takes all the fun out of your holidays, you know that? You have this guy who, when he was born, the local king is supposed to’ve killed every single other whelp in the area just to make sure he got that one, and then the entire point of his life was to get nailed to a piece of wood while he was still alive. And you celebrate this by… bringing a tree indoors and giving each other toys? I’m disappointed!”
Well, I was going to dedicate this post to a goodriff or retrospective of the Christmas episode of CunkToad’s Semper Vigilo Anthologies (assuming he finished the damn thing), but since you did ask…
*Reaches over and presses a button very clearly labelled “CHRISTMAS MUSIC”*
Hello, patrons! Welcome back to the continuing Spooptoberfestivities! Today we’ll be adding two more little oneshots to the Library’s pile of spooky, spooky failure. The first is a Halloween oneshot, not just the holiday, but also the titular movie taking place on the holiday! Though, honestly, to call this thing a fanfic is tarnishing the good name of such epic masterpieces of “untold zombie chronicels.”
You’ll understand why this one is bad pretty much right away when I show you the summary.
That’s the entire summary. And it’s a tragedy/angst fic, so who wants to bet we get something with either My Chemical Romance or Evanescence. Brace yourselves, patrons, we’re going in hot!
Title: Bid My Blood To Run
Author: Jaeger Gypsy Danger, who somewhat oddly has written no Pacific Rim ‘fics
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued By: AdmiralSakai and Senior Cabalist-Lieutenant Rijus Ta’nin
The ‘fic being riffed today contains potential flamebait in the form of yet another borderline-abusive relationship. And also more pseudo-MRA bullshit.
And porn. Lots and lots of porn.
Hello hello all you patrons. Rijus and I are back once more-
“Please let me go, or at least let me die with some modicum of honor.”
-with another Mass Effect ‘fic, and while the last one basically forgot that turians existed, this one loves them a little too much.
Summary: A different approach to the FemShep/Garrus relationship. He’s a turian and perhaps not always the kind-hearted and gentle teddy bear we’ve come to expect. Adult situations about adult relationships. Rated M for a good reason.
TITLE: Bid My Blood To Run
AN: Three Evanescence songs “Bring Me to Life,” “Haunted,” and “My Immortal” served as my inspiration. Adult stuff in here.
So, Rijus, are you sure we didn’t somehow end up in an alternate timeline where the Soviet Union took over the entire galaxy, right?
“Ummm… fairly, yes. Why?”
Because I’m seeing nothin’ but red flags.
Title: GLaDOS Lets It Go
Genre: Angst & Hurt/Comfort
URL: Fic has been removed from FF.net
Critiqued by Silky
Hello again, wonderful patrons! I’m L’aube Soyeuse (or Silken Dawn), and I’m back with a fresh, steaming pile of fanfic! This one happens to be related to Portal, one of my favorite video games. Portal’s plot centers around a portal device, created by Aperture Science, which creates sort of a wormhole between any two flat surfaces, such as walls. Its protagonist is a human test subject named Chell, who will not be appearing in this fic. The antagonist (and only other character in the first game, unless you count the turrets and the companion cube) is called Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System (GLaDOS), a rogue AI who at one point took over the center, poisoning the scientists with neurotoxin, and began putting captive test subjects through a series of tests by leading them with a mixture of lies and comedic sociopathy. You may remember her listening to Avril Lavigne and cutting herself in ITS MY LIFE! , also known as “My ImPortal.” My, what a wild ride that was.