Author: A now-forgotten servant of Morgoth the Defiler
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Critiqued by KittyNoodles
*** WARNING: The following riff contains some of the most horrifying rape scenes ever encountered within the halls of this Library. If dendrophilia, biastophilia, erotic humiliation, sadism, masochism, narratophilia, teratophilia, salirophilia, cum inflation, kidnapping, sexism, slavery, or victim shaming/blaming bother you even a little bit, this riff may not be for you. Step lightly, okay guys? ***
[*gurgles* – Lyle]
[Kitty ushers a very flinchy-looking Sindar elf into the Booth, keeping one hand on his shoulder and speaking very softly to him as they pick their way through the pillow-and-blanket fortress. The elf is decked out in some decidedly modern-age pajamas and is wearing a sticker that reads, “Hello! My Name Is… Obviously Ithalond”.]
Kitty: …And I need to say hi to the Patrons – that’s the group of people who will be watching this whole thing later, remember what I told you about cameras? – so don’t freak out too much, okay? And there are extra blankets and pillows near the screen.
Obviously Ithalond: [with an accent very similar to that of a native Welsh speaker] Thank you. That sounds wonderful.
Kitty: And you’re sure you want to help me with this? You just got out of there; nobody’s going to judge you if you take a few weeks or so to recover and get used to everything, first.
Obviously Ithalond: No, that’s all right. I think I would rather finish what I was made to start.
Kitty: And… about your name…?
Obviously Ithalond: I think, at least for the moment, that it may be best if I wait to change my name. It will hopefully prevent confusion among our “Patrons.”
[looking down at the sticker on his chest] Although I must ask… Is the, ah, “name tag” really necessary?
Kitty: Nah, you can toss it.
[Kitty removes the sticker. Obviously Ithalond shall now be referred to by the narration as Ithalond.]
Ithalond: Thank you.
[Ithalond sits down near the front and glances at one of the stuffed animals next to him.]
Kitty: I forgot to mention the stuffed animals. I thought they could make pretty good backup pillows, if nothing else.
[Ithalond reaches over to pluck a toy rabbit from the floor. As he does, two things become apparent: His sweater sleeves are longer than strictly necessary, and there are no hand-shaped bulges near the cuffs. Still, he manages to grab the stuffed animal with his arms with only a slight wince and settles it in his lap.]Kitty: All set?
Ithalond: I believe so.