2614: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bores – Chapter Eighteen

Title: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros
Author: Quartz2006
Media: Video Game
Topic: Super Smash Bros.
Genre: Romance/Tedium
URL: Chapter 18
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura

Current Counts

Null and Void: 27

(The riffing room has been utterly wrecked. Two of the walls are simply gone, and the other two have giant holes blown into them. The floor is little more than bits of linoleum over large holes, and the rest of the Library is in a similar state. Somehow, the couch survived, and Elysium and Rimura are sitting on it, covered in soot.)

Elysium: …Well. That happened.

Rimura: I’m never asking Bifocals for anything ever again.

Elysium: L-look on the bright side! Sure, the Library’s a smoldering wreck, but nobody died.

Rimura: The Specs and Co.

Elysium: Oh, don’t worry, they’re fine.

Rimura: Shades got crushed under falling debris.

Elysium: They’re fine.

Rimura: Specs got decapitated by a wooden beam.

Elysium: *insistently* They’re fine.

Rimura: Contacts got freaking incinerated—

Elysium: They’re. Fine.

…oh! We’re live!

Welcome back, patrons! Last time, an argument with Meta Knight led into the most confusing action scene ever. This time, we get a, pause for dramatic effect…

…

TRAJEK BACKSTORY.

(DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN)

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2582: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bores – Chapters Sixteen and Seventeen

Title: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros
Author: Quartz2006
Media: Video Game
Topic: Super Smash Bros.
Genre: Romance/Tedium
URL: Chapter 16 and Chapter 17
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura

Current Counts

Null and Void: 24

Elysium: …

Rimura: …

Elysium: So. You calm yet?

Rimura: *sounding tired* Yes.

Elysium: Promise not to fight one of the riffers again?

Rimura: So long as they are not Taelle, yes.

Elysium: Alright! Anyway… *ahem*

Welcome back, patrons! Last time, we had the beginning of the most awkward subplot in history, and a fight scene. Two of them, in fact! *gives Rimura a Look*

Rimura: *crosses arms* He started it.

Elysium: This time, Meta Knight gives us a couple more reasons to hate him, yet for whatever reason we are expected to hope he and Kirby get together.

To Chapter 16! *snaps fingers*

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2572: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bores – Chapters Fourteen and Fifteen

Title: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros
Author: Quartz2006
Media: Video Game
Topic: Super Smash Bros.
Genre: Romance/Tedium
URL: Chapter 14 and Chapter 15
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura (Special Guest Taelle)

Current Counts

Null and Void: 21

Rimura: *wearing an extremely forced smile* Elysium?

Elysium: *faux-innocently* Yes?

Rimura: Do you or do you not hate me?

Elysium: I don’t, of cour—

Rimura: *false smile slides off to be replaced with barely restrained rage* THEN WHY DID YOU INVITE TAELLE HERE?!

Taelle: It isn’t my fault you’ve made so many enemies.

Rimura: *continuing as though Taelle never spoke* Who’s next? Yanaran? Elkos? Telina forbid, Ratura?

Elysium: Er… LOOK, WE’RE LIVE!

Taelle: What?

Elysium: *WAY too cheerfully* Welcome back, patrons!

Rimura: YOU CAN’T JUST AVOID THE SUBJECT LIKE THAT!

Elysium: *talking over him* Last time, nothing interesting happened and I wanted to bang my head against a brick wall! And this time…

…uh…

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2564: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bores – Chapters Twelve and Thirteen

Title: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros
Author: Quartz2006
Media: Video Game
Topic: Super Smash Bros.
Genre: Romance/Tedium
URL: Chapter 12 and Chapter 13
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura

Current Counts

Null and Void: 19

Elysium: Welcome back to An Exercise in Tedium. Things are as boring and uninteresting as ever.

Rimura: How long do we have ‘til the end?

Elysium: It’s 68 chapters long.

Rimura: *jaw drops* WHAT?!

Elysium: *sigh* Let’s just get on with it. Read the rest of this entry »