1565: Aquamarine – One Shot

Title: Aquamarine
Author: CutePichu64
Media: Cartoons
Topic: Steven Universe
Genre: None given
URL: Aquamarine
Critiqued by KittyNoodles

Hello, Patrons! Kitty here, this time with a quick and hopefully completely squick-less oneshot from the Steven Universe fandom!

For those of you who either haven’t heard of this show or have avoided-slash-missed out on watching it for various reasons, Steven Universe is a cartoon show that aired its first episode on November 4, 2013 (it aired its pilot episode online on July 27, 2013.) It’s basically about a magical boy named Steven Universe who lives with magical shapeshifting lesbian rocks from space (called Gems) and who is part magical shapeshifting lesbian(?) rock himself due to his mother deciding to become part of him, since no two magical shapeshifting lesbian rocks can have the exact same gemstone (which is their actual body, while their people bodies are projections.)

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1502: suicidemouse.avi and Squidward’s Suicide – One Shots

Title: suicidemouse.avi
Author: Unknown
Media: Telvision / Cartoons
Topic: Mickey Mouse
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: suicidemouse.avi

Title: Squidward’s Suicide
Author: Unknown
Media: Television / Cartoons
Topic: Spongbob Squarepants
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Squidward’s Suicide

Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Gul

WARNING –

Once again, these so-called “horror” stories are not at all scary, but do contain gore, dead kids, and other content that may be offensive or inappropriate for a work or school environment. Proceed with caution.

[Trigger material, people.  Suicide is one.  And if you’re even the slightest bit sensitive about violent mutilation of children, do not read this one.  If you need me, I’ll be hugging my cat inside a blanket fort – Lyle]

Hello hello, everyone! We’re taking another break from Love of a Spartan to read some godawful “creepypasta”.

Today, we’ll be looking at two stories with essentially the same idea: ‘What if Sonic.exe was about a television show?’”

Yes, that’s really about it as far as the premise goes. Our first story, suicidemouse.avi, is actually proving very difficult to attribute properly- it first appeared on CPW in August 2011, but the “author” there just claims it is a repost and that the true author is “unknown”.

And, quite honestly, if I had written suicidemouse.avi I’d be afraid to show my face in public as well.”

Also note that it is still on CPW, with thousands of positive comments- this should give you some idea of what the site’s quality standards are like.

Let’s begin.

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1012: The talkfest show with special guests – Chapter Four

Title: The talkfest show with special guests
Author: Sadielover1470
Media: Star Wars Rebels / Skullduggery Pleasent
Topic:  Television / Cartoons / Books
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by agigabyte

*agig walks into the CIC of his RiffShip and sees this chapter*

agig: Wait, what? Fuck! You had to update again, didn’t you? You just had to ruin other universes with a crossover, didn’t you? You couldn’t just leave them the fuck alone, could you? Fuck!

*Cain walks in, both talking and sipping some hot cocoa*

Cain: Hey, agig. I just had an idea for a Sunday Spe-

*Cain does a spit take, having seen the chapter on the main screen*

Cain: Damn. We have to do this, don’t we?

agig: Yep. I’m going to grab some hot chocolate first, and suggest you readers do the same.

*A few minutes pass*

agig: Okay, I’m back and ready to review this shitfest once more. Without further ado, chapter four.

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999: the talkfest show with special guests – Chapter Three

Title: The talkfest show with special guests
Author: Sadielover1470
Media: Star Wars Rebels
Topic:  Television / Cartoons
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by agigabyte

agig: I’m back for another one of these abominations, and this time I am armed with the author’s home address and the power of force lightning. Let’s begin.

Hi everyone I watched star wars rebels fire across the galaxy last night and decided to write another chapter I don’t know where I am heading with this

Yeah, well neither do the rest of us.

and am hoping for the best without further ado ze chapter

Let me fix that. “and am hoping for the best. Without further ado, the chapter.” See? Much better

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992: The talkfest show with special guests – Chapter Two

Title: The talkfest show with special guests
Author: Sadielover1470
Media: Star Wars Rebels
Topic:  Television / Cartoons
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by agigabyte

Hello guys, I’m back with another chapter of “Twelve year old schoolgirl’s wet dream”..Uh, I mean “the talkfest show with special guests”. Let’s jump right in.

hi guys I am back and have got positive stuff about the story so I will continue but I am not so sure that might be the case for another of my story called keep falling down and the truth or dare surprise but only time will tell on with the story.

Yes, those two reviews. Such substance.

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987: Gargoyles, Pirates, and the Luftwaffe – and – Breaking into a serial killer’s house is a bad idea – One Shots Double Day!

Title 1: Gargoyles, Pirates, and the Luftwaffe
Title 2: Breaking into a serial killer’s house is a bad idea
Author: Blitz190
Media: Movie / TV Show / Cartoons
Topic:  Gargoyles
Genre 1: Adventure / Mystery
Genre 2: Humor / Horror
URL 1: Chapter One
URL 2: One Shot
Critiqued by Lyle

Why, hello there, everyone!  I’ve a special treat for you today.  A long while ago, one of our patrons “Stan” submitted a couple of Gargoyles fanfics for our consideration.  Both are by author Blitz190 and both are incredibly short, albeit horrible.  Due to their length, I’ll be riffing them together.  While the titles themselves speak for the horror we’re about to experience, the summaries are really the icing on the cake. Before we start, though, I’ll briefly summarize Gargoyles for those who had a very sad childhood.

Gargoyles is a cartoon movie that spawned a television series.  It is about some Scottish Gargoyles that were frozen in stone from ye old Medieval times until about the mid 1990’s.  In the 90’s, they are transported to Manhattan and awoken by David Xanatos, Resident Rich Douchecanoe.  For the most part, it’s about Goliath, the head Gargoyle, and Elisa, the human detective that helps them, and how the gargoyles adapt to living in the 21st century and learn that Xanatos is a dick.  There’s a lot more to it, but none of it is relevant to this fic.  If you’re interested in learning more, I highly suggest you go check it out and at least watch the movie.

The Gargoyles, for visual reference.

The Gargoyles, for visual reference.

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986: The talkfest show with special guests – Chapter One

Title: The talkfest show with special guests
Author: Sadielover1470
Media: Star Wars Rebels
Topic:  Television / Cartoons
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by agigabyte

Hello, I am agigabyte, someone hoping to join the librarians. I wanted to start with something simple, it’s bad, but not terrible. Without further ado, The talkfest show with special guests.

So the story starts off with an author’s note. One thing it does right is not thinking a disclaimer is needed. Take a quarter of a redemption cookie.

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