152: Control – Chapter Five

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Five
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Good morning, everyone.  I’ve decided to trudge onward and riff chapter five of the Thesaurus Nightmare that is “Control.”  To recap what we’ve learned so far:

The author, Jackass the 3rd, has no idea what she’s doing and hasn’t seen this show before.  She’s aged one character 10 years older than canon, created a lot of OOC behavior, and failed to make Vegeta attempt to kill Goku.  Pan, the grand-daughter of Goku, has vanished and hasn’t been heard of in around seven years, even though the author is sure nine years have passed.  Jackass the 3rd is bad at math and has an over-active thesaurus.

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