147: Twisted Fairytales Sleeping Beauty

Title: Twisted Fairytales Sleeping Beauty
Author: Aorta Heartless
Media: Movie / Book
Topic: Sleeping Beauty
Genre: Humor / Horror
URL: Twisted Fairytales Sleeping Beauty – Chapter One
URL: Twisted Fairytales Sleeping Beauty – Chapter One Re-write
Critiqued by Addicted Reader
Hello, and welcome to this week’s edition of “The Very Short and Very Weird,” where we look at very short fanfic pieces that make no sense.  This week’s topic is Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty” – sort of.  We have a sleeping princess who was raised by fairies, and that’s about it to tie this to the movie.  But I’ll let the author explain.  Here’s the summary:
Seriously Twisted version of Sleeping Beauty, in which Sleeping Beauty is raised by evil fairies. Kinda Crack fic
That’s how you know it’s gonna be good.
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146: Control – Chapter Four

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Four
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Warning:  This chapter contains poorly written references to rape.

Hello, everyone!  Welcome to chapter four of “Control,” a Dragon Ball Z Universe fanfiction written by someone who seems squeamish about sex but can’t stop writing vague sexual references.  To summarize what’s gone on to this point:

Pan, the daughter of a couple of the DBZ mains, runs away to [insert unknown destination here] and has been gone for anywhere between seven and nine years.  The author is utterly confused on ages and dates, making Pan a whole ten years older than she’s supposed to be.  According to the last chapter, nine years have passed but everything within that chapter takes place seven years after the events in chapters one and two.  Are you following along?  Don’t worry if you’re not, the author isn’t, either.

Most recently, we’ve discovered that Bra, the now-highschool-aged daughter of Vegeta and Bulma, has been expelled for unspecified “immoral misconduct” with boys (plural) and will be attending a private, girls-only institution.  Shenanigans ensue, I’m sure.

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Do dooo dee doo dooooo….

Ma’na ma’na.


But in all seriousness, we don’t have anything to highlight right now.  So, if you know of any good fanfiction to highlight on our Sunday post, tell us about it!

Art-tastic Saturday – The Land Before Time

Hi everyone!

FPM is stuck in an ice storm at the moment and has no electricity, thus no internet.  So, here’s some fanart in a different medium than pen and paper:

This is a clay Cera.  It’s actually pretty cute and, having worked with FiMo before, I think it’s pretty well done.  Plus, I like that she’s sitting outside on the moss.

I found this on a Land Before Time forum, by artist “Mumbling.”

It gets the “Possible Awesome?” tag because, although I find it horribly cute, it doesn’t look a heck of a lot like Cera.  The face is too narrow.

145: No title – Chapter Three

Title: No Title
Author: amysmiles
Media: Television / Comic Book
Topic: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Romance / Family
URL: No Title – Chapter Three
Critiqued by Ghostcat

Well folks, this is the third and final chapter of the Batman fic “No title.” While it is possible that the author may post more chapters, I am really hoping that she doesn’t. In fact, I’d be willing to build several churches to prevent this from happening. (It still counts if they’re built in Minecraft, right?)

For those who need a refresher, here are the highlights from the two previous chapters:

Ten years in the past from some unknown date, the Riddler takes two children out for ice cream. While they are out their mothers’ car blows up in a grocery store parking lot and the Riddler is given custody of both children shortly before unknown assailants attack his place of residence, prompting him to contact the Scarecrow. Scarecrow nearly blows himself up when he receives the text that the Riddler sent him and hurries to where the Riddler is located in order to help him. His appearance causes one of the children to have an unnecessary flashback. Scarecrow easily subdues the attackers and the gang head off to his hideout.

 After the usual disclaimer there is an Author’s Note that deserves to be reproduced in all its glory.

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144: Tattered Blood Stained Ribbons – Chapters One, Two, Three, and Four

Title: Tattered Blood Stained Ribbons
Author: Raven W. Blackwood
Media: Movie / Book
Topic: Dracula
Genre: Supernatural / Horror
URL: Tattered Blood Stained Ribbons
Critiqed By The Psychic Librarian

I have returned once more with a piece of literature that I have always loved and which has been fantastically mangled. This treatment of Dracula probably has Bram Stoker mumbling curse words in his grave. He is long past the spinning phase after all of the lame movies and misinterpretations of his masterpiece Dracula. If you have read the original book, than you are aware that Count Dracula is not a being with emotions or redeeming traits and he is anything but a man. If Gothic Victorians had the Predator and Alien movies, Dracula would be a much different story and Vlad would probably have sported dreads. As it is, Dracula is an incredible book that I recommend everyone read. It is fantastic and still has the ability to creep me out despite the fact that it was published in 1897.

The fan fic below is also capable of scaring you, but in different ways. It is difficult to encapsulate just how messy a thought process can be until someone goes on fanfiction.net and throws up a story and then puts the whole vomited mass out for the world to see. That is how I would describe this fic. So bring an airsickness bag and some motion sickness pills. It’s an interesting ride.

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143: call of duty:the untold zombie chronicels – Chapter Two, Part Three

Title: call of duty:the untold zombie chronicels
Author: insane doctor and judgmentdragon25
Media: Video Game/Movie
Topic: Call of Duty/Land Before Time Cross-Over
Genre: None Listed
URL: call of duty:the untold zombie chronicels – Chapter Two
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Wednesday has come around again, so that means you all get subjected to another chunk of the literary stain that is call of duty:the untold zombie chronicels.  You can thank me later.

Recap?   No, I don’t wanna.

Ok, fine.  Team Stu, a group of dangerously unstable soldiers and psychopaths, escaped from an endless swarm of zombies by teleporting into the distant, dinosaur-filled, past.  Once there, they proceeded to kill some of the dinos while threatening the rest.  This helps them make friends with the cast of Land Before Time because we all know that death threats are the best foundation for friendship.  The only one not fooled is Grandma, who will be watching them from the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike.
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