240: Control – Chapter Fifteen, Part Two

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Fifteen
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Warning: Torture and sex.  You’ve been warned.

*throws confetti cake*  We’re at the second half of chapter fifteen, which means next week I’ll be able to do something else for a while!  I already know which fic I’m going to take down and I’m excited to get started on it.  But first, I have to trudge through this sewage-filled piece of “literature.”

Last time on “Control” we watched as Android-sensei became pretty much everyone’s favorite character by actually laying some smack-down on Bra-Sue… who promptly tried to pee on him.  Because that’s a great way to make us like her character.  *insert eye-roll here*  Right before we ended last time, Bra lit up a cigarette in their pee-scented classroom and Android-sensei asked her what she thought she was doing.

Let’s see what the end of chapter fifteen has in store for us!

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234: Control – Chapter Fifteen, Part One

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Fifteen
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Hello, everyone!  A few observant readers may have noticed that it’s Saturday, not Monday.  FPM and I are switching update days due to our personal schedules conflicting with the update deadlines.  Hopefully this hasn’t caused any undue confusion.

With that said, welcome back to “Control,” a DBZ fic that begs the question:

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?

Things have gone from mildly intolerable to downright freakish in the last fourteen chapters.  There’s some sort of bizarre ‘ho vibe floating around Bra that makes everyone desperately want to bone her, even though she’s only a squicky thirteen years old.

Last we gathered, Gohan ran away from home after throwing a tantrum.  We discovered that Gohan equates dirty thoughts with cheating on your spouse, Goku apparently has been having naughty ideas regarding Bra, and Vegeta is still a douche bag, but he’s a douche bag that loves his very dysfunctional family.  The last thing we saw was that Bra is going to be home schooled, a move that is probably a much better idea than allowing her out in public.  Her teacher is an android known as 17, the brother of 18 (Marron’s mother).  He asks her to call him “Authority” in Japanese, because Jackass does not understand Japanese.

I’m going to do my best to behave myself today, too.  *sets Harry on the shelf*  For science!

Let’s get to it!  We’re in for a long haul today.

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228: Control – Chapter Fourteen, Part Two

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Fourteen
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Hello again!  Welcome back to chapter fourteen of the DBZ fic called “Control” where nothing seems to make a whole lot of fucking sense.  At.  All.  Especially with regards to canon.  Double-especially with regards to real-life happenings like crime investigation.  Let’s sum-up what we saw during the first half of this chapter then we’ll move along.

Gohan has a hissy-fit about having to raise his brother and take care of his mom, thus preventing – in his mind – him from being able to achieve his full potential.  Nevermind that he has a Ph.D.  They totally held him back.  Trunks meets with Mr. Officer, who probably hails from the same CSI training as Mr. Khaki Suit for how well he knows how to do his job.  Trunks denies knowing anything about the death of Marron but later admits to Bulma that he did kill her.  This has no effect on Bulma but to berate her son and daughter – who is absent from this conversation – for ruining Bulma and Vegeta’s marriage.  The fic officially turns into a poorly scripted episode of “Days of Our Lives.”  All we need now is for someone to fall into a coma for a few chapters and miraculously pull through, falling madly in love with their doctor, who just happens to be their sister’s husband’s more attractive twin brother.  And he’ll talk with an Australian accent for not reason but because it’s “hawt.”

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217: Control – Chapter Fourteen, Part One

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Fourteen
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Howdy!  Today we’re going to tackle Chapter Fourteen of the brain-numbing, squicky (hehe, spell-check wants to change that to “Bisquick”), hurf-inducing fic known as “Control.”  I hope you’re ready; I sure as hell aren’t.

Last time we met, Bulma received some inappropriate pictures of Bra, who was – ironically – wearing nothing but her underwear.  This led to a huge conflab between Vegeta and Gohan, whom Vegeta blamed for taking the photographs.  Bra continues to be a little shit-head and every adult in the fic continues to be about as dumb as a shopping cart.  I think that about sums it up.

Before we begin, I’m going to announce that I’m doing things a little differently this time.  I’m going to listen to my Pandora radio station, which is filled with a mix of soothing, groovy, laidback, and upbeat music (it ranges from Adele to Mumford and Sons to Michael Bublé to Frank Sinatra).  Let’s see what sort of effect this has on me when riffing this piece of bat guano.  Perhaps I’ll be nicer.  Get out your observation notebooks, class.  This is science!

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211: Control – Chapter Twelve, Part Two and Chapter Thirteen

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Twelve
URL: Control – Chapter Thirteen
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Good day, loyal patrons, and welcome  back to the Ipecac of fanfiction known as “Control.”  Set in the DBZ universe, “Control” features a lustful, sex-kitten Bra who is really doing her best to make everyone uncomfortable by attempting to jump Gohan’s  bones.  It’s all very squicky.  A lot has happened since the beginning of this fic eleven chapters ago, so if you’re just now joining us, I suggest you read through the previous installments.  Otherwise, I’d be taking up all my entry with summarizing.

Last chapter, we learned that Bra isn’t a very good student and Gohan has been invited to dine with the Brief family in a plot contrivance that tries to throw Gohan and Bra in the same vicinity as a bedroom.  Due to time constraints last week, I left off near the end of chapter twelve.  We’ll be finishing it up this week as well as slogging through chapter thirteen.

Before we start, I want everyone to look under their chairs because you’ve all won a free Squick-Sickness Bag!  Brought to you by Hurf-Co, this triple reinforced bag is made of the finest Void Steel and will prevent even a drop of your stomach contents from getting on your pants as you find yourself utterly grossed out by this fic!  Yes, the Squick-Sickness Bag by Hurf-Co!

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205: Control – Chapter Twelve – Part One

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Twelve
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Warning:  Sex and stupidity.

Hi everyone!  You came back!  That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, although that might be the alcohol talking.

All joking aside, welcome back to another riveting chapter of the DBZ Timesquiggle called “Control” where all common sense has been defenestrated.  Last time we met, there was some stale, sexual tension between Bra and Gohan, who just happens to be her teacher at her new school.  How convenient  for our author’s plot purposes, eh?

Not much of anything else happened last  chapter other than Trunks having more enigmatic thoughts about… something…, more pointless use of Ki-blasts to not do as much damage to things as Ki-blasts are supposed to do, and more drama over the whole Bra-Gohan-Videl triangle.  Oh, also we learned that Videl did have a public funeral where the paparazzi took pictures of Bra and Gohan together, despite the fact that Mr. Khaki Suit told Gohan that Videl’s death wouldn’t be leaked to the public until at least two or three years have passed.  Like I said… common sense: totally thrown out the window like the contents of a chamber pot in the 1700’s.

Let’s see what delights we’re in for today. Read the rest of this entry »


199: Control – Chapter Eleven

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Eleven
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Warning: As per usual, there’s bad things referenced in this chapter (either by myself or by the author) including concepts of rape.  Please be aware of this before you continue.  I may seem like a heartless bitch, but I love you, my loyal readers.

Hello!  Welcome back to the nonsensical DBZ fanfic known as “Control.”  As you can tell, I have barred the doors and boarded the windows so none of you can escape.  If I have to suffer through this, so do you.  So, nya nya.

Before our week-long sabbatical from this literary crapsterpeice, we witnessed the death of Videl, the introduction of an incompetent detective (Mr. Khaki Suit), and the quite obvious plot-contrivance of Gohan teaching at Bra’s new, private, all-girl’s school.  If anyone did not see that coming, you’ll need to stay after class so we can chat about your progress.

If you have no idea what’s going on at this point, don’t worry too much.  Even the characters in this story are clueless as to what the author is attempting to accomplish.  Let’s get started, shall we?  The sooner we start, the sooner we finish, right?  Right!

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