I have no guests with me today. I need none. Any humor in this will either be black as pitch or extremely dry. Don’t complain; it’s still Lent at the time of writing, and I tried to give up an activity I do not have the physical fortitude to give up for forty-six days.
I don’t care if that’s too much information. I’m wallowing in failure, and the only way I can think of to lift my spirits is by riffing bad fanfiction.
I’m sure we’re all familiar with one CrashBurnGlobal, yes? The lovely ficcer who graced our library with his presence and expressed a great deal of dissatisfaction with our less than impressed reception of his work?
Unfortunately for CBG, doing this drew attention to him. It elevated him from bad ficcer of the week to someone worth looking at a little more closely, and so – being a creature driven almost entirely by curiosity and spite – I did just that.
CrashBurnGlobal has written a Steven Universe fanfiction.
Hello, naughty ficcer. It’s riffing time.