1525: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Six, Part One

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Welcome back, patrons!  With me again is Eliza, who does not appear to be suffering a hang-over this week.

“I put sprinkles in my roughage today!”

That actually doesn’t sound too bad.  You want to handle the recap?

“Umm.  Did anything happen last week?”

Not really.  We did learn that the reason for the rift between Anna and Elsa was extremely stupid and contrived, but, otherwise, all that really happened was the sisters argued and then Elsa had an evilgasm.  Pretty much that was it.

“You know, I think I know how to make this roughage even better?”

Really, how?

Just Add Olaf

Fuuuuuuunny.

A/N: Wheeeeeeeeeeeee- *static*

The fuck was that, autor!?  If you’ve got nothing to say, why even bother with an insipid author’s note!?

“If the author resisted writing stuff when he has nothing to say, we wouldn’t be here.”

Touché.

And the hour approached 3 A.M. as Buffy sat at the dining-room table, a notepad in front of her as she tried to compile her list of what she knew about Dark Willow.

She’s dark.

“And Willow!”

We know so much!

She was a different animal entirely, unlike any Big Bad she’d ever seen.

“In that she’s lukewarm evil at best.”

The first time around, she’d been running hot with black magic, and she seemed to have abandoned any sort of moral code- just hell-bent on murdering her enemies. As she wrote, memories flashed through her mind.

Oh great, a flashback.  Yaaaaaaay.

“Please, Buffy. This is your pitch?”

“You’re always saving everyone. It’s getting kinda pesky.”

“Fly, my pretty, fly… See what I did there?”

“She was always just- Willow.” *THOOM* “Jeezus!” “What was that?” “Just Willow!”

Wha?  The hell was that!?

She’d been terrifyingly direct in her execution.

“She was pretty direct, but I wouldn’t say terrifyingly so.”

I’d say she was worrisomely direct.

She didn’t have any mind-games or any real plan, she’d just wanted the Trio dead. And they would’ve been if it wasn’t for the other Scoobies. Now, though, it would be harder:

*Porno music blasts out of the PA system*

“Swenia really likes her synth keyboard music, doesn’t she?”

Xander was in L.A., Giles back in England, the Potentials scattered across the globe and out of contact, and no Anya or Spike this time. Hopefully Marlowe and Xander would be enough of a boost to take her down again, but it would be hard.

*Porno music intensifies*

Oh for crap’s sake!

But then again… She was wary to consider the possibility, but Dark Willow seemed to be… different this time.

Somehow lamer and less threatening.

She seemed to have a plan of some sort, which meant she wasn’t going to do anything just yet- was that better or worse?

“You might even say that not doing anything is Willow’s super-power.”

It meant more time to think, but it could also just mean a longer death.

It also could mean a shorter death that comes without warning, or not dying at all while you watch the world burn around you, or it could mean that it’ll rain puppies that fart quarters.

For the second time in 12 years, she found herself confounded by the enigma of the dark witch, someone who had lasted for barely a day, yet nearly ended the world; someone who knew the group’s pressure points, but barely needed them; someone whose mood could swing from murderous to scarily serene in seconds- and now she was back.

“So how much padding is in this fic, anyway?”

Well, the author starts padding around chapter one, and doesn’t stop.

“It feels like there’s more padding than that.”

She knew so much about Buffy, and Buffy knew so little about her- a deadly mix.

We get it!  Buffy thinks Willow is dangerous.  Can you leave the horse’s corpse alone!?

But even Willow’s plans had flaws, and that meant Buffy could still defeat her.  Nigh-invulnerable though she was, Willow was still human, and she would still meet someone better than her.

I guess that would be a no, you gotta beat that horse until the bat breaks.

A knock came from the hall. Buffy started, looking up to see Marlowe standing in the doorway. “Oh- hey there, Professor,” she smiled tiredly.

Oh thank the gods somebody interrupted!

“Hello, Buffy,” the man replied, entering the room, “What are you doing?”

Researching, just like you said you were going to do last chapter!

“That didn’t really look like researching.  That looked more like worrying while doing nothing constructive.”

She has more in common with Dark Willow than she knows.

“I’m making a list of things I know about Willow when she’s like this,” she replied as Marlowe looked over her shoulder.

“Which is still different than the research you’re supposed to be doing.”

“Such as?” he asked.

“‘Majorly powerful, evil, vengeful, murderous’… It gets pretty redundant after that,” she sighed.

So, yeah, she wasn’t doing anything useful.

“Well, she is trying to convince the audience that Willow is a threat.”

That’s going to be next to impossible to accomplish since we’re being shown Willow’s point of view.

Buffy smirked cynically.

BAAAAAA!

*GONG*

Dude, you don’t gong a slayer!  Especially if you’re a demon sheep!

“Knowing her, she’ll let us know what she’s doing here- probably in a way that involves getting my ass kicked.”

But you don’t know her.  I mean, look at how pathetic your list is.  According to that, you don’t know the first thing about your opponent.

“On the bright side, we’ll at least have some semblance of understanding why she’s here,” he replied with mock unconcern.

“I’d like to know how she did it,” Buffy said, brow furrowed in thought, “Coming back from the dead is hard. I would know.”

“Did she actually play any part in coming back from the dead when she did it?”

Nope, she was just there for the ride.

“So coming back from the dead doesn’t require any effort on the part of the resurrected?”

Pretty much.

“Sounds super hard!”

“What do you mean?” Marlowe asked.

“I’ve died twice,” Buffy stated simply, “The second time she brought me back with magic.”

So why do you keep saying that Willow coming back from the dead is impossible?  Willow’s got magic friends and acquaintances in several dimensions.

“Technically Buffy died three times.”

People like to forget about the third one because she was only dead a few seconds.

“And the first?” Marlowe inquired, eyebrows raised.

That’s your reaction?  You ask about the first time?

“California literature must prepare you for anything.”

“I drowned- Xander did CPR,” she answered.

“A very good thing he did,” he said quietly.

“It seems like I’m only kept alive so I can avert the apocalypse a little longer every time,” Buffy huffed.

Pretty much.  That’s part of the whole ‘slayer’ thing.

“But if you didn’t the apocalypse would prevent your return,” Marlowe countered.

The hell is that supposed to mean?  And why is it a counter-argument!?

*Shakes fic*

STOP BEING PRETENTIOUS FOR THREE MINUTES AND TRY TO MAKE SENSE!

“I know,” Buffy replied. “It just tires me out… dying.”

“The last time you died was twelve years ago.  Maybe it’s time you let it go.”

Like the song?

“LIKE THE SONG!”

“That generally happens,” Marlowe deadpanned.

Author, try this: ‘He said dryly.’  You know, switch it up a little so you stop using the exact same attribution all the time.

“And now she’s cheated death herself,” Buffy said, returning to the conundrum at hand. “That must’ve been hard.”

Once again, Buffy, when you came back from the dead all you had to do was be there.  The act of coming back from the dead is actually pretty easy for the dead.  Dealing with the fallout of getting resurrected is a different story, but that’s not what you’re saying.

“I think what we need to do is find her and talk to her,” Marlowe said, thinking. “We can’t find out much just by looking at what we know.”

“In that you don’t know anything.”

“And how would we do that?” Buffy asked.

“We would get her attention,” the professor answered.

A knock came at the door. “I’ll get it,” Buffy said, getting up. Who comes knocking at a door at 3 in the mor-

The door swung open to reveal a snowman. Olaf the Snowman.

What the actual fuck!?  Is this seriously how you’re getting Olaf into the group?  Sweet crap, man, most pen-and-paper sessions where you add another player halfway into the campaign are less nonsensically abrupt than this!

“Hi!” Olaf said, a great big grin on his face as he waved at Buffy. “Have you seen a girl named Elsa around?” he asked as he entered, oblivious to Buffy’s frozen form.

Is this really what you’re going with, author?  Olaf just randomly barging in at three in the morning?

Buffy barely moved, only turning her head to keep the snowman in sight. “Umm…” she said dumbly, “I’m not-”

“She’s about, like, 5 foot 4, really pretty blonde hair, kinda pale, wearing a blue dress?” Olaf continued, looking back questioningly at Buffy. “She doesn’t quite look like the people here, she kinda looks smoother than the others.”

“That’s probably the computer graphics.  Gives you a really good complexion.”

“I- I don’t think so,” Buffy managed, her eyes still wide with shock.

Buffy, you’ve killed a giant praying mantis that was eating the heads off random men after copulating with them.  A talking snow man would not surprise you.

“Huh. Okay then,” Olaf shrugged, looking around a little. When he spotted Marlowe, he immediately came for him. “Oo! Do you know where Elsa is? She’s about, like-“

“Looks like Olaf recovered from his out-of-character experience.”

Yeah, strange that the author would pull Olaf so drastically out of character in chapter two just to have him go right on back.  Ignoring the part where he randomly shows up, this is actually pretty spot-on characterization for Olaf.  It’d be worth a redemption cookie if I thought the author was going to keep it up.

“We should keep an eye on it, at least.”

“I’m sorry-” Marlowe cut him off before he could begin the spiel all over again, “I don’t believe I have.” He too looked rather amazed. “Uh- um- w-what brought you here?” he asked.

“The plot.”

More specifically the SQDF care of the PCC.

“Oh, I saw you in that cemetery yesterday and I thought maybe you would know,” Olaf answered cheerily, “The people here give me weird looks when I ask them, and I thought that since you know stuff that the others don’t that you’d know where she is!”

He waited a whole day before showing up because reasons.

“How did he know where they lived?”

The plot told him.

I’m- s-sorry, but no,” Marlowe stuttered.

“Huh…” Olaf said, looking at the floor thoughtfully, “I’ve looked for weeks and I can’t find her! Last time I saw her was when Anna and Kristoff and Sven left and she told me to go with them, but I got lonelyish without her so I thought I’d look for her and she if she could come with us and maybe-“

I really hope he doesn’t finish that thought.  The potential for unintended romantic undertones there are unsettling.

“Isn’t Elsa technically his mother?”

Yes, which is why I find it unsettling.

“Wait a minute-” Buffy interrupted, snapping out of her stillness, “When you say Anna and Kristoff and Sven, do you mean-”

“Oh yeah!” Olaf exclaimed, “Anna’s the princess of Arendelle! Or at least she was… Why?

Are we about to go all inception up in this fic?  Are we going to go with Frozen being a movie in Buffy canon?  That would make the whole setup even less plausible, which is impressive for a fic based in the Buffy universe.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa…

I presume that those were, prior to the loss of formatting, in italics to indicate that Buffy was thinking  them.

“Otherwise our narrator may need a refill.”

Buffy gave Marlowe a look, and he nodded, eyes wide. “Just a minute,” she told Olaf, “I need to talk with my friend alone.”

“Okay!” Olaf replied, and the two walked up the stairs, closing a door. Then he began to count softly, “One, two, three, four, five, six…”

“Then again, if Frozen is supposed to be a thing in the Buffy ‘verse, how did they not recognize Olaf?”

Why do I have a feeling that we’ll never get a satisfactory explanation for that?

“Because you were there for the explanation of Anna and Elsa’s break.”

“We have Olaf the Snowman in my house,” Buffy said, shocked.

“So it would appear,” Marlowe breathed.

“I guess we are going with that.”

HOW DID THEY NOT RECOGNIZE HIM IMMEDIATELY!?

“You need to calm down.  I’ve been authorized to use the glitter projection cannon if you get out of hand.”

Noted.

“And he said he was looking for Elsa- they were all together and now they’re split,” she continued.

Yes, we were all there for that!  Stop repeating everything, author!

*Taco and Eliza look at the DRD alarm, which stays conspicuously silent*

“Awww.”

We have living, breathing… animated movie characters walking around somewhere in the world,” Marlowe laughed in amazement. “And I thought I’d seen everything.”

Obviously this was written before Once Upon A Time was a thing.

“Nope, it was started around season four.”

*Throws up his hands* I got nothin’ then.

“This is nuts…” Buffy agreed. “And he saw you in the cemetery- he followed you here because you knew how to slay a vampire.”

Now you’re just putting words in Olaf’s mouth.  He said: ‘know stuff the other’s don’t know.’  Which could mean anything.  Olaf could even mean Jim’s PhD in California literature.

“That means he likely saw you at some point as well,” Marlowe noted.

“The Batman logic is getting rather thick.”

Buffy shook her head slowly, eyes blank. “My brain can’t handle this.”

That’s standard bad-plot rejection syndrome.  A glass of whiskey and a donut will help you cope.

“Agreed,” Marlowe nodded.

“He just agreed that her brain isn’t up to handling the situation.  That’s not very nice.”

Truth isn’t always nice.

“Perhaps we should focus on the more important things… Frozen showed us Elsa loves Anna to death, especially through the creation of Olaf. Why would they split up?”

The flaws of the fic are so flagrant that even the characters are noticing.  Not a good sign.

“Good question,” Buffy replied, thinking. “Maybe they got into a fight or something.”

“I hope not,” Marlowe responded. “That family is fiery when it comes to arguments.”

I’m not sure how he draws that conclusion.  You see all of one disagreement in the movie, and it’s over something that Anna is clearly in the wrong about.

“Is ‘fiery’ really the best metaphor?  Shouldn’t he have sa-”

“Or icy,” Buffy offered.

“Right.”

“Mine was better,” Marlowe disagreed.

No need to argue, guys, you can both be wrong.

“But there’s the whole ice thing!” Buffy pointed out.

“They’re going to belabor another point, aren’t they?”

Gotta treat the audience as if they’re stupid.  Which, if you’re reading this fic because you enjoy it…

Motif, Marlowe mentally corrected.

“At least he wasn’t being pedantic out loud.”

Loud enough that we could see it, though.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter,” he said out loud, pensive,

Summary of the fic.

“And- you know something? Maybe- maybe if we found Elsa, and perhaps work this out- she could help us! The Snow Queen-” he laughed, “Oh hoho, she’d be a great advantage.

“I wouldn’t say no to that,” Buffy agreed. “She’s wicked powerful.”

“A fair point.  A woman who can use ice magic to do basically anything would be a pretty good boon.”

“Powerful enough to fight Willow?” Marlowe asked hopefully.

*Eliza and Taco shrug*  Maybe?

“On the one hand, Willow’s magic is an amalgum of an entire library of sorcery and has only gotten stronger over the years.  It’s potent, yet somewhat limited in scope.  By herself she wasn’t able to bring about the apocalypse, she had to use a demonic effigy.”

Elsa, on the other hand, has a nearly unlimited ability control water/ice that is only curtailed by her inability to control it, which is a drawback that she’s overcoming.  While logically this should limit her effectiveness to only things that involve ice, the canon has shown that her abilities actually extend beyond simple ice manipulation.

Honestly, in a straight fight, I’d probably put my money on Elsa.  Her powers are a bit of a wildcard and can do things like create sentient guardians, freeze people solid, make floral dresses, and plunge entire regions into eternal winter; all completely at will.  In scope, those powers seem to trump the more limited magics that Willow uses that require artifacts, incantations, components, etc.

“However, Willow is a lot more practiced and in control of her powers.  If it comes down to a quick decision, ambush, or an action in the moment, Willow would have the edge due to experience.”

So is Elsa powerful enough to stand against Willow? Maybe.

“Maybe…” Buffy considered.

“Called it!”

“I would probably help her out though- they could just end up killing each other at the same time.”

Uh, yeah, that’s the way the fight against evil works.  You all pull your weight to give the best chance of success.

“Then what we should do is find her, and soon,” Marlowe decided. “Knowing her, she’s in quite a state.”

But you don’t know her!  The only information you have on Elsa as a person is from a ninety-minute movie.

“Agreed,” Buffy said.

“Fifty-nine,” Olaf’s voice said from the downstairs, “Sixty!” Soft footsteps sounded as he bolted up the stairs.

Still fairly in-character for Olaf.  I’m impressed at how long the characterization has held.

“A third of a chapter?”

The bar is very low around here.

Buffy sighed in exasperation. “How did I forget that?” She opened the door, where Olaf was just about to (try to) turn the knob. “Hi, Olaf.”

“Hi!” Olaf chirped, entering the room. “You said a minute, and it’s been a minute, so what’s going on?”

“We’ve deduced we’ve seen you before,” Marlowe began, prematurely cutting Buffy off, “in a film.”

Well, at least Jim doesn’t intend to lie to Olaf.  That’s refreshing at least.  Too many fics would have milked the fake tension of only some characters knowing about the Frozen movie.

“Oo, really?!” Olaf asked excitedly.

“Thing is-” Buffy said, shooting Marlowe a ‘Seriously?’ look, “we thought it was fictional.”

I’m actually starting to wonder if Igor actually did see Once Upon a Time and drew some ‘inspiration’ from it.

“I’m sure it’s just your imagination.”

One second.

“What are you doing?”

Checking Igor’s profile.

“And.”

Yup, he’s seen Once Upon a Time.  It’s on his list of favorite shows ever.

Once Upon a Time- Fairy tales plus modern society? Surprisingly good combo!

“So he’s basically borrowing that premise for this fic.”

That’s such a nice way of putting it.

Comprehension lit up in Olaf’s eyes. “Fictional? You mean, like, you thought we weren’t real?”

“Yeah,” Buffy admitted, a little afraid she’d hurt his feelings.

“I never thought I could be in a movie!” Olaf crowed, efficiently erasing any doubt as to whether he was hurt by that. “I mean- I don’t know too much about movies, but Anna rented a… BVB or something…”

“DVD?” Buffy corrected.

When and how!?  They’re travelers out of their own time!  They have no real money, no knowledge of modern technology, and no place to really call home.  How did they get their hands on all the equipment required to play a DVD, let alone provide a credit card number in order to rent it!?

Anyway, at this point, they belabor the point that Olaf has seen a movie, Toy Story in fact.  And then they go into a little on the differences between Olaf’s world and Buffy’s.  It’s just more word padding that doesn’t really lend itself very well to snark, so we’ll just skip over it until we reach some more actual plot.

“So we’re skipping the whole rest of the fic?”

Hah!

“Interesting,” Buffy said, looking at Marlowe with a small smirk then back at Olaf.

BAAAAAA!

*GONG*

Ow, dammit!

BA.

I know I told you not to gong Buffy, but that doesn’t mean you can gong me!

“Anyway, Olaf, we’ve been talking, and while we haven’t seen Elsa, we’re thinking we might be able to help you find her.”

“Really?” Olaf asked, beginning to bounce excitedly. “That’s great! Where do we start?”

“The jig is up!  Abandon plan!”

“Well, we haven’t quite figured that out, but we’re working on it,” Buffy replied.

No you’re not!  You’re talking to a sentient snowman about movies.

“That’s a lot like trying to find Elsa.”

Maybe they should see if their own show is already on video.

“Oo!” Olaf suddenly raised his hand. “Oo, oo, oo, oo! I know! I could go out again and go one way, and you guys go in different ways and we all walk a hundred miles and come back!”

Better plan than they’ve had so far.

“That won’t work,” Buffy responded. “This city’s too big, and she’s not here- we would be looking for a needle in a haystack the size of Rhode Island.”

“I don’t think the author knows how analogies work.”

He does not, unless he intended to imply that Elsa only exists at the atomic level.

“What’s Rhode Island?” Olaf asked curiously.

“Not important,” Buffy waved her dismissively, “I think it’s best to start where you guys split up- where was that?”

A place with mountains and cold.

Olaf thought for a second. “I think the last time I saw her was at this really cool park with a lot of trees- and it was all surrounded by really cool mountains- it was like Arendelle! All the snow, all the trees…” He sighed happily.

“You were super-close, Taco!”

A fact I find more depressing than anything else.

“Do you remember the name?” Buffy prompted.

How would he even know it in the first place?  He doesn’t, or at least shouldn’t, speak or read the language.  Where would he have gotten this information?

“Plot?”

Right.

“Oh, I think it was called something like, uh, Yo-sem-aight-e,” Olaf said, then nodded at his own words.

“Yosemite National Park?” Buffy asked.

“Oh, so that’s how you say it!” Olaf realized. “Yeah, it’s that one!”

“He must have seen it on the map.”

What ma-

“ON THE MAP!”

“Okay-” Buffy said, “at least we have a starting point. Professor- wanna tag along?”

“Oh, yes!” Marlowe exclaimed. “I would be interested to see if she made another palace- see if the ice is different as well.”

If the ice is different than ice?

“Maybe like super-ice?  Or ice with glitter in it!”

“Cool,” Buffy smiled. “Let’s go, Olaf.”

“Okay!” he agreed, and they went for the car.

What car?

THE car.”

Of course, how silly of me.

At this point we get a scene break and head over to Elsa, who is practicing the fine villainous art of doing jack squat.

Elsa hated this palace. She hated it with a passion, detested every pristine fractal that comprised its icy structure and allowed it to stand past its welcome.

Dude, you made it.  Use your ice magic to change it.

It looked almost exactly like her first one, with the modification of a wider grand staircase in lieu of the bridge the North Mountain had required leading to the giant doors adorned with her snowflake.

Always a huge fan of descriptions that are, ‘It’s like X, except for Y.”  So good.  Really helps immerse you.

She had designed that snowflake herself.

YOU_DONT_SAY

It was her favorite out of all the others she’d seen, one she’d created from scratch during the first years of her isolation. It had been amazing to finally create it, giving it the place it deserved on her castle doors, not just drawn on a sheet of graph paper and left to gather dust in her dresser in her old bedroom.

Now if only the author could spend more time actually describing things as opposed to trying to convince us that the things are important by making the characters muse upon the misty blankness.

“If only.”

Now, though, memories tainted the frozen sanctuary, leaving a sour taste in her mouth.

Memories of things that happened long before she built it and so have nothing to do with the sanctuary at all?

“Well, maybe the memory taint is oozing out of her head.  Like when you have a cold and sneeze on something.”

Dude, ew.

She had purposefully changed the schematics for her new home, getting rid of the spires- save the top one- and altering the exterior of the tower peaks to have stacked layers that hugged the original design up until near the top, where they then curved straight up, finishing in spikes that surrounded the top.

So it looked like her fist palace, only completely different.  Thanks, author.

“That strikes me as not a very good description.”

Yeah, I have a hard time picturing it, myself.  I think it’s because the author, even when attempting to describe something, continues to use vague or ambiguous describers.  ‘Stacked layers’ for instance.

All the rounded parts, inside and out, were adjusted to tessellated diamonds, just to give it more of a cold, impassive air- just how she wanted to feel right now.

So all the round parts aren’t round but are really diamond-shaped.  Author, that description hurts me physically.

This was a metamorphosis for her, and she wanted to craft herself into something dangerous, something cold and unfeeling.

“So basically regress herself to how she was before the events of the movie.”

Nuh-uh!  A totally different, unique, and not at all the same version of unfeeling!

“A point might have been missed in the viewing of the movie.”

Most of the points seem to have been missed.

It wasn’t ‘conceal, don’t feel’ again, but more like becoming a Snow Queen in more than just name.

Which is different because this time it’s anger and not fear that’s making her want to avoid feeling.

“Wouldn’t the end result be the same?”

No!  Totally different!  Because drama!

The Snow Queen Elsa imagined her new self being was a cold woman, given her stature as Ruler of Winter and All That is Cold- it was a part of who she was.

Does megalomania count as part of the ‘unfeeling’ package?

“Do you consider unfounded feelings of superiority as having emotions?”

That’s a tough one.  Though, given her powers, I’m not sure they’re unfounded.

She didn’t feel compassion, or love, or anything for anybody.

Aside from hate, apparently.  Because that’s not an emotion.

Her heart was a frozen one, leaving her level-headed, unflinching towards her adversaries, and unloving to anyone who approached.

“Apparently the author doesn’t consider disdain to be an emotion, either.”

It felt unexplainably good to let the cold burn flow freely through her fingertips then, creating her new fortress atop Mount Lassen with a newfound contentment having found her place.

Contentment as in the spiritual completion of self, and not the emotion, of course.

She would be unstoppable now. Nobody would ever be able to hurt her again.

“Unless they question her ability as a ruler.”

Dude, let’s not get crazy, here.

She would tread carefully for the moment, though. She would have to wait until she was more physically fit before getting into any little skirmishes. Weakness could mean serious trouble.

So, the horizon is filled with more villains doing nothing.  Who’s surprised?  Anyone?  Bueller? Bueller?

She started to raise her hand, intending to change the palace design to something less like home, when she halted.

“Didn’t she just do that?”

This wouldn’t be the first time that the fic redacted something it just described.

Love will thaw, she remembered. Love will thaw, but now… could she tap into that?

First it’s anger and hate, then it’s cold and unfeeling, now you want to bask in love.  For crap’s sake, make up your mind!

Anna was gone now- did she still love her? She felt a small pang at the fact she had to think about it.

GAH!  The pronouns!

Yes, she eventually decided, I do.

“So much for not feeling anything about anyone.”

That happened last paragraph, it’s already forgotten.

It’s why I have to make her realize her mistake. I won’t let her bring herself down.

“What about the vengeance?”

Vengeance was sooooo last chapter.  May as well never have happened.

So she tentatively began to focus on the good things- playing in the ballroom as kids, building snowmen in the courtyard in the winter, ending the eternal winter… and surprisingly, it didn’t hurt too much.

So, tough question, is it Elsa who is supposed to be indecisive here or is it the author?

“We’re the ones who are supposed to be confused, right?”

Supposed to or not, I certainly am.

It hurt, of course, but less than she’d anticipated.  It felt nice.

*Porno music blasts over the intercom system*

Dammit all!

She began to channel it, beginning to raise her arms, when she heard voices.

DAMMIT ALL!  We almost, almost went half a chapter without somebody hearing voices!  We were so close!

They sounded like they were coming this way. She scowled, dropping her arms and heading inside, out of sight.

“Heaven forbid somebody see her remodeling her wing of the volcano.  You know, doing the thing she said she’d do.”

She would have to wait before she could erase the memories in this place.

Why!?  Why is there a need for secrecy!?  Is she like a cat that needs to poop or something!?

*Shakes the fic*

WHY DON’T YOU MAKE ANY FUCKING SE-

*SHA-POOMPF*

“You’re so pretty!”

I hate everything.

“Oooh!  You should make an ice palace then.”

I think we’re going to call it there for the week.  I suddenly need a full decontamination shower and possibly a skin replacement.  Until next week, patrons!

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14 Comments on “1525: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Six, Part One”

  1. BatJamags says:

    It felt unexplainably good to let the cold burn flow freely through her fingertips then, creating her new fortress atop Mount Lassen with a newfound contentment having found her place.

    So… quick question. Has nobody noticed the giant ice palace sitting on top of this random mountain?

  2. BatJamags says:

    OK, I’ve probably already asked this, but does the fic ever develop a plot, or is it all nonsensical character motivations being babbled about for the next… fifteen chapters, was it?

    • TacoMagic says:

      Eventually it shifts from character motivations to character interactions, but the large bulk of the story remains as people talking at each other.

      Plot happens, but mostly paraphrased and off-screen. And the pacing remains glacial.

      They finally do get out and start doing stuff around the 2/3-3/4 point of the fic. Around the time that Igor starts sprinkling the fic with random movie, song, and poetry quotes.

  3. Lina says:

    “I know,” Buffy replied. “It just tires me out… dying.”

    Oh, stop winning. Try dying and staying dead.

  4. Andiliteman says:

    Obviously this was written before Once Upon A Time was a thing.

    “Nope, it was started around season four.”

    *Throws up his hands* I got nothin’ then.

    Wait… There’s no season 4 of Once Upon a Time. It ended after the Peter Pan arc because it wrapped things up so nicely and perfectly. It was the best ending to the best show ever. … And of course, any possible continuation would require them to unravel the plot, forget character development and reuse worn out plot elements just because they worked so well the first time.
    Hey heh… And they couldn’t include Frozen in Once because it’s a show about… F-fairy tale characters. Not a crossover grounds for Disney to glorify its-s-s-self with. And of course, that would lead to other stupid decisions like… Say… Brave. I mean, they wouldn’t ever, wouldn’t ever never defile Pixar and the way show ever by ever never thefver giving them a bastars child like that, right? Right? RIGHT!??

  5. "Lyle" says:

    So it looked like her fist palace, only completely different. Thanks, author.

    “That strikes me as not a very good description.”

    Yeah, I have a hard time picturing it, myself.So it looked like her fist palace, only completely different. Thanks, author.

    I’m just going to picture this:

    http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/7/75/Alexander-FFVIII-Creatures-Kai-Vol5.png/revision/latest?cb=20130308173513

  6. GhostCat says:

    That’s standard bad-plot rejection syndrome. A glass of whiskey and a donut will help you cope.

    Or, if you’re pressed for time, just have one of Syl’s donut-whiskey smoothies.


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