1203: John and the Dragon Rider – Chapters Fifteen and Sixteen

Title: John and the Dragon Rider
Author: Silent Archangel
Media:  Video Games / Books
Topic: Halo / Eragon
Genre:  Adventure / Romance
URL: Chapter Fifteen
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Gul

“Welcome back to John and the Dragon Rider, everyone. Last time, our tepid trio managed to find their way to Ellesmera with minimal incident, stopping only to give some civilians defective armaments and pick up a flaming Stu named Kyle-214 from the wreckage of a crashed UNSC plot transport. The now quadratic Stuplex wandered on to their destination, where the elves’ inbred leader took entirely too much pleasure in stripping the Master Chief to the waist and whipping him until he passed out (or possibly just fell asleep). After that she forgot what she was doing and allowed the Chief and her daughter to pair-bond in that weird ceremony humans always do, and everyone got together to try to drink themselves out of the ‘fic. Upon returning to the Varden camp, Eragon moped and a loud, annoying human named ‘Mr. T.’ phased in and out of existence for no readily comprehensible reason.”

We’re only going to be doing two chapters today because they are longer and actually somewhat more meaty, but don’t let that fool you into thinking the ‘fic will start making sense.

Chapter 15 is called “New Enemies”, and since we’ve been stuck in a holding pattern bouncing back and forth between “romance” and pointless battles that never involve the massively superior alien-backed Varden walking up to Uru’baen and just ending the war I’d say introducing new enemies, provided it actually changes something and isn’t done as stupidly as the last chapter’s events, might substantially improve the ‘fic.

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