1490: X-Com: Mass Effect: Chapter 1 Part 3 & Chapter 2 Part 1

Title: X-Com: Mass Effect
Author: Dragonsong2795
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect/XCOM
Genre: Sci-Fi
URL:  Chapter 1 & Chapter 2
Critiqued by Erttheking

Ert: *Sigh* I’d like for nothing more than to skip what was left of the last chapter and move onto the second one, but the author had to go ahead and make what was left important. Not important to the story, but important to why this story is such a massive train wreck.

Woods: Been awhile folks. How are things?

Ert: SHIT!

Goeth: He’s been like this for some time.

December 24th 2057

Military Leader Steven Hackett looks up at the Councilor of Science Laura Vahlen and says “You have a proposal for me?”

Ert: Either that should’ve been obvious from the get go or he was asking a very random question. This is dialogue that exists to explain things to the audience and no one else.

Goeth: Yes, now let us continue on the space station where we review stories that are not to our liking.

Vahlen nods in response to Hackett’s query “I do, after discovering the ruins of these ‘Protheans’ we cannot afford to have no military ships”

Ert: *Sigh* Really. The discovery of the Protean ruins on Mars is what made you decide that you needed a navy. Not the freaking Ethereal invasion.

Woods: I’d think the mere fact that extraterrestrial attacks were now possible would’ve gotten a massive push towards building warships. But apparently they’re only just now thinking about it.

Goeth: Maybe their previous plan was just to build a wall around Earth.

Shepard walks in having sensed Hackett’s confliction, she turns to Vahlen “Show me what you are planning, Councilor Vahlen”

Ert: Hey Shepard, you ready to make me hate you even more?

Woods: She sensed his what now?

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