Fillertacular Special: Admiralsakai and Serketry Riff MORE Terrible My Little Pony Fanart!

Hello hello, all you patrons. Someone didn’t get their riff in on time again, so that means it’s time for more chatlogs riffing the worst of the worst (or at least the funniest of the worst) My Little Pony fanart scraped from the depths of the fansite Equestria Daily!

Ok, fine, some of it’s not necessarily bad in a qualitiative sense; some of it’s just baffling or has uncomfortable implications to be read into it. But worthy of snark, regardless.

 

The 4 Princesses of New Equestria by StarlytheSillyArtist

“Oof. Mary Sues, comin’ in hot!”

Can we just go back to the old Equestria, please?

“Yeah… No.”

WTF is the one on the far left’s cutie mark? A flaming log????

“Telescope. It’s a telescope.”

Oh, a flaming telescope! That makes so much more sense.

“I’m pretty sure that’s Moon Dancer/ Twilight shipping-spawn. Given the mane and sweater.”

Ok, so from left to right we’ve got Princess Obvious Successor to Twilight, Princess Obvious Successor to Celestia, Princess Obvious Successor to Luna, and Princess… Swamp Gas.

“I think she’s supposed to be part Changeling or something?”

Which, given that she’s replacing Princess Cadance, who was once imprisoned by Changelings, has some rather icky implications.

“Especially since Flurry Heart [Cadance’s canonical alicorn daughter] is completely absent.”

A stargazer by Trickate

“Douchebag alert! Douchebag alert!”

Ok, you just know that telescope is pointing at some unsuspecting mare’s bedroom window.

“Twilight Sparkle’s, obviously.”

Element of Acceptance (Season 9 Finale Prediction) by MegaSean45

“Uh.

“

OH MY GOD.

“What am I looking at?”

I don’t even know where to start with this. We’ve got Cozyglow…. apparently suffering from the Plague…… and….. the entire Equestrian Army running off to do something completely unrelated…

“Tirek and Scorpan failing to fight each other.”

Implied Embrax.

Which now that I think about it sounds like an unsafe brand of drain cleaner.

Which actually is a pretty good description for how I feel about the concept of Thorax and Ember in a relationship. Or Thorax in general.

“And then there’s Chrysalis pulling a Terezi and looking the wrong way.”

In the big bug’s defense, I want to look away from this too.

NextGen MLP+Mine style: Dragon Lord x Celestia by SleepyDemonMonster

Not, like, the child of Celestia and Dragon Lord EMBER or anything…

“Just the child of Celestia and A dragon lord.”

The child of Celestia and the OFFICE of Dragon Lord!

“So, like, the staff the Dragon Lords get to carry?”

I’m sure there is fanfiction of it.

“Yo, isn’t that Rarity’s diamond pattern?”

Yeah. Nice haircut, too. I bet he has strong opinions on organic food. And Kurt Cobain.

Untitled by Girlsay

 

 

AWWW SHIT, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GOT…. GIRLSAY! [A recurring fanartist most notable for drawing sexed-up and aged-down versions of the MLP characters with muddy colors and blobby shading to disguise the highly dubious anatomy and perspective- basically, all of their drawings look like this.]

“SHIT!
FUCK!
PEDO!”

One of Luna’s breasts is escaping to the side, and the concerning part is, I don’t know WHICH.

Also of concern is the fact that weekly exposure to the likes of Lone Wolf of the Normandy and Sly Cooper: Thief of Virtue has corroded the common-sense centers of my brain to the point where I was initially allowing to pass without comment the fact that a magical talking pony princess from a show teaching young girls lessons about friendship is being drawn with breasts and put on a major fansite without even a note at the top of the page.

“And, yo.
Pretty sure that’s labia at the bottom.”

Well, it’s the logical if uncomfortable conclusion to the fantasy-armor boobplates.

Comm – The Final Snowflake Burns by Eztp

Why does the dragon have tits too?

“…
I don’t want to know.
I DON’T want to know.”

You know, this could’ve actually been METAL AS FUCK.

“Could’ve been.
But we can’t have nice things, Tom.
We burnt out our quota a long time ago.”

[Some time later.]

“One moment.
That shoulda-been-awesome one with the dragontits?
Baked into a massive fanfiction.”

You know it kinda fucking figures.

Gryphonstars’s Darklightverse

That’s, like, three red flags at once in the title alone!

“Any fic that calls itself “the [something]verse” already has its head up its own ass…”

But this one does that stupid “Tom Clancy’s Something Or Other” thing, too! Except this time the something or other has DAAARKNESSS! in it.

“Just, here. In all its glory:”

An apex moment in a long standing fanfiction saga.

Starlight is fighting Elisus Lunea Lumen, the final villain of Gryphonstar’s Darklightverse. An epic final battle to save all the souls of Equestria and end the suffering of the mane six.

LINK TO THE BONUS SCENE
www.fimfiction.net/blog/839327…

LINK TO THE STORY
www.fimfiction.net/story/40670…

As a side note I thank Gryph for the extra nightmares.

Oh my god it reads like the narration in a car commercial!

“Elisus Lunea Lumen.”

Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way?

“I see what it’s doing.

It wants to be the next Dark Souls.

With ponies.”

As does literally everyone else.

Except maybe with the ponies bit.

Untitled by evehlyart

UHHHH…
Well this is a new one.

“…

Wha.”

Sweetie Belle?

“Are you wearing RD’s jacket?

How else would she have gotten a lead pony pin?”

So RD’s, what, at least in her early 20s at the time of the show?

“Uh.”

And Sweetie Belle’s 10, so if Sweetie is now an adult that’d put RD in her 30s or possibly beyond.

“Best case that’s still a 10ish year gap.”

Just…. WHY.
And what’s with the weird bell earring?

“Sweetie Belle.
Bell.”

OWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

“Yeah, it hurts.
You know what, though?
At least it’s not Scootaloo
It’d be *creepy* if it was Scoots.”

Well, creepier.

Also, Sweetie Belle looks like a sheep.

Anthro Rainbow Dash Kimono by qtpony

“Another dead hooker storage unit.”

Grand.

“Weeaboo, too.”

*Weeaboobs.

“Oh. Of course.”

And of fucking COURSE you can take the clothes off of it.
Also what is with the hair? It’s like there’s a solid thing underneath it.

“Yeah, that’d be the poor girl’s head.”

*clickety clickety clickety*

“Also it’s literally inspired by porn.
Not even smut, NSFW porn.”

I am a little unclear on how NSFW porn could have NOT played a role in this.

The Dash-inspired kimono pattern is kinda neat, though.

177013 by DraftHoof

I don’t get it.
Are those Changeling hooves?

“Yeah, those are Changelings.
But…
What???”

Why are Changelings accusing Silver Spoon? And what does that have to do with resisting drugs and violence?

“Changelings don’t pedal drugs. They pedal illicit sex.
Which isn’t really DARE’s wheelhouse?”

Although to be fair Changelings do also frequently pedal violence.

[Later]

You know, that poster does make me realize something. ‘DARE’ stands for ‘Drug and Alcohol Resistance Education’, but their catchphrase is “DARE to resist drugs and violence“.

What the FUCK?

“Oh, they’re kinda like the ATF.
In that it’s now the BATFE, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives.
They just keep tacking stuff on.”

Sounds like a form Bruce Wayne would develop to manage his employees’ medical confidentiality.

“Because ATF was too concise.”

And don’t firearms already contain explosives?
Unless they regulate compressed-gas and magnetic guns too.

“Not high explosives.
Gunpowder is a low explosive.”

Oh, good, so now they can be the BATFHE.
Ia, Ia, batfhe fthagn?

“I’m sure that’s posted in the break room in some North American UNITY base somewhere.”

My NLR OC General Black Knight by MLP Black Knight

“Oh, hey, this is kinda neat.”

Yeah, I like the idea of a cloth uniform for Night Guard officers and other non-frontline staff.

“UHHHH:”

This Is My NLR OC, His Name, Is Black Knight. Before The New Lunar Republic Was Born, Black Knight Joined Up With The Solar Empire. He Was Trained By None Other Then By Emperor Silas Himself, Leader Of The Empire And The Solar Imperial Forces. Silas Trained Him Well And He Became One Of Silas’s Best Field Commanders. When The Lunar Rebellion Broke Out, He Took The Lunar Rebels Side. He Then Led The Lunar Rebels To Victory Against The Solar Imperialists In The Rebellion. When The Republic Was Born, Princess Luna Saw His Brilliance In Combat And Leadership, So She Declared Him General Of The Lunar Army. To This Day, He Continues To Lead His Troops Fearlessly Into Battle Against The Republic’s Enemy’s. Credit Goes To CrimsonLnyx97 For Making The Vector. Credit Also Goes To 90Sigma For The Luna Vector. I Did The Background And Poses.

Whoa up there, Kanaya!

“Emperor Silas.

Aaand you’ve lost me.

No, I’m sorry.

I can’t sign off on this.”

“To This Day, He Continues To Lead His Troops Fearlessly Into Battle Against The Republic’s Enemy’s [DATA EXPUNGED].”

I’m not sure what part or possession of the Republic’s solitary enemy needs multiple soldiers to confront, but knowing this fandom…

Also, it looks like the person who posted this didn’t actually make any of the art of it, he just got someone else to draw his OC and then put that and some pre-existing show rips together in a scene.

Noeleft Commission With Signature by ColorSoundz

Who the HELL would market an EGG-SHAPED SUNBLOCK BOTTLE?

“You store it cap-down.
I’ve seen shampoos and what not have that shape.”

Then it would be top-heavy and tip over!

“I’m not saying it’s practical, I’m saying it’s real.”

And if you tried to squeeze it and had some sort of other substance on your hands it’d slip out!

…

So, yeah, I’m almost certain it’s a real product. And it probably costs three times as much as sunblock in a normal bottle.

“Yo, is that an Air Force cutie mark?”

Looks like.

Red white and blue mane, too.

Bowhemian Rhapsody by EmbersLament

Ha.
Ha.
Ha.

“I don’t get the joke?”

They are all wearing bows

“…

That‘s the joke?”

Although I would hesitate to dignify that by calling it a joke.

Also it has FUCK ALL ELSE to do with the song.

“And, like…
They didn’t even use Apple Bloom?
Who canonically wears a giant bow?”

….: Shooting Star :…. by ElMutanto

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
MY HOOOOOVES THIS TELESCOPE IS A LOT HEAVIER THAN IT LOOOOOOKS!!!!!!!”

That’s the only sense I can make of the events here.

“And this is why nopony knew exactly when Nightmare Moon would return.
Either that, or they just saw it in real time.
Hence the freakout.”

Or it’s like the story of Eric and the Dread Gazebo with astronomical equipment.

“What’s the Challenge Rating on a parabolic reflector, anyway?”

You know, this is the second piece we’ve seen here with ponies being weird around a telescope. I hope it’s not a trend.

The Maretian Last Supper by LateCustomer

Bwah?

“Um, what?”

I mean, I recognize the human cast from the movie The Martian, which, incidentally, makes the title another pun so tortured that Dick Cheney is curled up in a corner whimpering, but who are all these ponies in completely different space suits? And also a… random angry Roman Legionary?

“I like how the ponies themselves are confused.”

I think everyone is confused.

“And then there’s a… Changeling…??? You’d think they’d at least be smart enough to put the Changeling where Judas was…”

But no, we cannot have nice things.

[While getting this formatted for the riff, it occurred to me that the Legionary is probably supposed to be the Roman god named Mars. Which renders the whole movie kind of pointless in my opinion, since why does Mark need to go to so much effort to escape Mars if Mars is just going to follow him home anyway?]

Evening tea by freeedon

“…yo. What’s with the giant American flag??”

Yeah that’s really weirding me out.

And also there’s a portrait of AJ right above her bed???

“Quite possibly.”

Oh wait that’s a unicorn.
Still giving me uncomfortable Dear Leader vibes, though.
…
…
Now if that was STARLIGHT GLIMMER…

NextGen Custom: Big MacIntosh x Sugar Belle by SleepyDemonMonster

“Uh.
What the fuck is with those colors?
That looks nothing like any of the Apple family [Big Mac‘s family] or Sugar Belle.”

I bet he dyes his mane because he thinks Final Fantasy is just totes kawaii. And his parents let him because they’d rather not be recognized has having produced him. But he’s 28 and still lives with them so there’s really no point. But he goes to raves every night and doesn’t come home until 9AM when they’ve both left for work and sleeps the rest of the day so it all sort of works out in the end.

Alphonse Mucha: Shining Armor and Cadance by MetallicRoselle

WHAT the….?

“NOPE!

“

It’s a bad sign when your coloring style compares unfavorably to Chris-Chan.

[Upon later investigation this seems to be a pre-existing art piece rendered into a coloring book. Meaning this originally had nothing to do with the characters of Cadance and Shining Armor in particular or My Little Pony in general until the ‘artist’ colored the figures in with color schemes almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Cadance and Shining Armor’s. Then they failed to properly scan in the top section and, instead of just redoing it, painted in what should have been there in blobby MS Paint airbrush.]

Eljunbyro RD by ilvbrownies

“I…
I don’t even know where to begin.
This is some Dirk’s-porn-for-Caliborn level shit.
RD…
What are you doing?
Do ur bb?”

“Bester guard be very punch a but a princess surplus all server to roll smell a stupid bucking get.“???

“I like my text better.”

I think I do too.

Untitled by dufelbagofdraws

…

“What.”

Yes, that’s the actual picture- a TWO PIXEL THICK WHITE LINE.

“…
That’s the picture fuckass
its’ a line”

And yet this is still a massive improvement over any of the others.

---