Title: Elsa’s Night at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza
Author: Christopher Spielberg
Media: Video Game/Movie
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Frozen
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
URL: Chapter 3
URL: Chapter 4
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat
Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another fic. This one is from my pile of short and strange crossovers; more specifically it is a crossover between Five Nights at Freddy’s and Frozen, because …. I don’t really know why anyone would cross those two canons. I picked this one from the half-dozen or so that were in that particular section, so let’s take a look at the summary to see what attracted my attention.
When a letter has mailed to Elsa in Arendelle, there is a job where she can get 150 a night. But when she gets there, she senses that something isn’t right with the pizzeria…
Right away I can spot some questionable grammar and a shaky premise, as well as the use of numerals in the narration. I assume this is going to be an AU fic, which is common in crossovers with very disparate canons, because why would a queen take a job in a pizzeria? There’s also a very high number of chapters in relation to the fic’s word count – a little over two thousand words spread over five chapters – and while there is no set chapter length this sort of disparity is rarely a good sign.
Let’s look at the fic!
Based on SMG4’s Mario/FNAF crossover.
This actually took me a bit of digging; I thought at first that this was another fanfic based off of a fanfic, but there is no fanfic author by that name on any of the main sites. Turns out that SMG4 is a channel on YouTube that does mostly mash-up videos, so this is a fanfic based on a YouTube video.
(without bad words and inappropriate scenes; has alternative scenes with Frozen)
So not only is it a fanfic based on a YouTube video, but the author took out the “inappropriate” bits and bad language and added in a dash of Frozen instead. I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong.
Hello, dear Patrons!
I’ve managed to uncover a fic from an odd little niche fandom that I didn’t even know existed – a combination of the survival horror video game Dead Space and that feel-good Disney film based on The Snow Queen, Frozen.
Yeah … I don’t know what those two things have in common, either.
We’ve covered fics from both of these canons before in the Library, so I think I can dispense with the in-depth SC-style infodump. I will share the fic’s summary;
Anna has found herself on the USG Arendelle, her and her team responding to a distress signal the planet cracker sent out a week ago… The same planet cracker her sister Elsa was on… Rated T for language and some gore. No ships or pairings, but there is an OC.
This is a very condensed, and rather poorly worded, synopsis of the first Dead Space game; Isaac Clarke is part of a rescue mission sent in response to a distress signal sent by the USG Ishimura, a “planet cracker” ship that Isaac’s girlfriend Nicole just happens to be currently stationed on. Based on the summary, the author has simply swapped out Isaac and Nicole for Anna and Elsa (which doesn’t bode well for Elsa) which is very common in crossovers – the authors take the story and setting from one source material, remove the characters, and just slot in the characters from a different source material without really trying to integrate the two. (See: Nightmare Before Christmas: Bambi style) I’ve yet to find a fic of this type that has managed to do this successfully, most are like reading a very long and badly done Mad Libs.
Let’s see if this one is any different!
I’m here with a short little oneshot from the Frozen section of ff.net. And it’s a Reader fic! Those are always fun.
The fic starts off with a handy little key at the top;
(Y/N) = Your name
(F/C) = Favorite color
(H/C) = Hair color
(S/C) = Skin color
(E/C) = Eye color
I think that’s all the basics. Well that’s all, you may continue if you wish
On one hand, this is helpful for anyone in the audience who is unfamiliar with the shorthand used in Reader fics. On the other hand, the use of the shorthand in general gives the fic a sort of “Mad Libs” vibe.
And there’s the title. Not really necessary since I had to click on the fic’s title in order to read it in the first place.
(Elsa x Girl! Reader)
Yay! I’m so happy I’m not a pumpkin!
There’s a sentence to add to my list of things I’d never thought I’d type.
—FIC CONTAINS GRAPHIC SEX SCENES AND NUMEROUS REFERENCES TO INCEST—
—OBVIOUSLY IT IS NSFW/NSFC—
Welcome back, dear Patrons!
It’s a new year, and I have returned with the rest of … this. The first half of the chapter had some perfunctory back story regarding Nordic paganism that Anna uses to justify having sex with her sister while supposedly giving her a swimming lesson.
I don’t recommend reading this fic; instead, enjoy this video of tiny puppies.
“Awww! They’re so fluffy!”
Syl?!? What the hell are you doing here?
“Why wouldn’t I be here? And while we’re on the subject – I can’t believe you’re riffing porn and didn’t invite me to sit in.”
Partially it’s I don’t really like you, and partially because I thought you only liked Yaoi.
“When it comes to smut, I’m equal opportunity.”
:sighs: I can’t make you leave, can I?
:smiles eerily: “You could try.”
… So it looks like Syl’s joining me for the second half of the chapter. Isn’t that great? :eye-twitch: I’m just … thrilled.
“Would it kill you to show a little enthusiasm?”
:grinds teeth: Possibly. Let’s just get to the fic.
—FIC CONTAINS GRAPHIC SEX SCENES AND NUMEROUS REFERENCES TO INCEST—
Happy Mid-Winter Holiday, Patrons!
I hope everyone has had an enjoyable solstice celebration, or whatever holiday you may or may not celebrate. I bring you a gift – it’s a zesty fic from the Frozen canon bursting with squicky sex! Let me show you the summary;
Anna teaches Elsa to swim.
:looks at title:
Yule is a winter holiday; it’s the Winter Solstice, which happens in the middle of winter for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere. (No bragging, Delta.) Why would anyone want to learn how to swim during the coldest months of the year?
Adorable Elsanna ‘cest ensues.
Incest is adorable?
This is a story that treats a long term incestuous relationship as a positive and adorable thing that the main characters should strive towards.
… And now you can see why this fic is in the Library.
It is rated M for strong sexual content.
Welp, time to add a disclaimer to the riff.
It also treats Arendelle as a nordic pagan country.
Arendelle does appear to be located somewhere in Scandinavia, where Ásatrú originates, but the presence of a bishop at Elsa’s coronation argues against it being a purely pagan country.
followed up with my ‘Handfasting’ story if you want to read it.
That’s right – there’s a sequel! But before we get to the sequel, we should probably go over the original fic.
Hello, dear Patrons! Ready for something a little on the odd side?
What am I saying, of course you are – otherwise you wouldn’t be in the Library.
This little gem comes from an author who has penned over a thousand different fics in numerous canons, making them one of the most prolific authors I’ve seen. They have posted regularly since 2006, yet despite this massive volume of work there hasn’t been an appreciable improvement in the quality of their writing. I actually went through their catalog of fics and randomly skimmed through several, but couldn’t tell that there had been any change at all. This baffles me to no end.
This is typically the point where I’d do an SC-style info-dump regarding the source materials, but I don’t think that’s going to be necessary; Frozen is featured far more heavily than Wreck-It Ralph, but there’s no attempt made to adhere to any canon at all.
Oh, did I mention this is a crossover fic between Wreck-It Ralph and Frozen? And that Elsa and Ralph have kids? Must have slipped my mind.
To the fic!
Welcome back to the second half of this slow and stumbling fic, dear Patrons!
What happened in the first chapter? Our intrepid hero, Kristoff, attempted to sell decorative knick-knacks during a time of famine, and was faced with the prospect of serving as a tour guide for Nameless Family (who wanted to go to the top of a desolate mountain for some unknown reason) in order to earn some money. While sulking in the forest, Kristoff managed to summon Zombie Anna out of a rock, and she coerced him (somehow) into taking her up the mountain instead. (It is unclear if Nameless Family are still patiently waiting for Kristoff to arrive.) Kristoff beds down for the night in the snow, but Anna’s relentless chatter drives him to attempt the ascent at night, in the dark. After wandering around for a few minutes, Anna offers to get some transport, and the two venture to a lake where she scratches a message into the ice. Shortly afterwards, Elsa appears as a reflection in the ice, and then drags Kristoff into the frozen lake. Because ice, I guess.
Onward to the fic!
Fear began to swallow him and he attempted to swim, but then he realized that he wasn’t in fact in water, but rather standing on a floor of ice.
I guess ice now possesses the power to teleport people, because his ass should be in an ice-cold lake right now.