1829: Elsa’s Night at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza – Chapters 1-5

Title: Elsa’s Night at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza
Author: Christopher Spielberg
Media: Video Game/Movie
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Frozen
Genre: Humor/Horror
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
URL:  Chapter 3
URL: Chapter 4
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another fic. This one is from my pile of short and strange crossovers; more specifically it is a crossover between Five Nights at Freddy’s and Frozen, because …. I don’t really know why anyone would cross those two canons. I picked this one from the half-dozen or so that were in that particular section, so let’s take a look at the summary to see what attracted my attention.

When a letter has mailed to Elsa in Arendelle, there is a job where she can get 150 a night. But when she gets there, she senses that something isn’t right with the pizzeria…

Right away I can spot some questionable grammar and a shaky premise, as well as the use of numerals in the narration. I assume this is going to be an AU fic, which is common in crossovers with very disparate canons, because why would a queen take a job in a pizzeria? There’s also a very high number of chapters in relation to the fic’s word count – a little over two thousand words spread over five chapters – and while there is no set chapter length this sort of disparity is rarely a good sign.

Let’s look at the fic!

Based on SMG4’s Mario/FNAF crossover.

This actually took me a bit of digging; I thought at first that this was another fanfic based off of a fanfic, but there is no fanfic author by that name on any of the main sites. Turns out that SMG4 is a channel on YouTube that does mostly mash-up videos, so this is a fanfic based on a YouTube video.

That’s promising.

(without bad words and inappropriate scenes; has alternative scenes with Frozen)

So not only is it a fanfic based on a YouTube video, but the author took out the “inappropriate” bits and bad language and added in a dash of Frozen instead. I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong.

Elsa wakes up after a good nights’ sleep, and she dresses up to get ready for the day at Arendelle (in her casual Snow Queen appearance).

:THWACK!:

That is not how you describe a character, author. And exactly how many nights was she asleep?

Somebody knocks on the door, and Elsa opens it. It was Anna.

Dear diary, today I ate a piece of whole-meal toast and conquered Belgium in the name of France. We ran out of orange juice, so I had to have cranapple instead.

“Elsa! I found something in the mail today!”, Anna said, as she gave Elsa the mail.

Since Elsa was dressed in her “Snow Queen” outfit I assume that they are still royalty, which makes me wonder why the crown princess is getting her own mail. They have a palace full of servants for that.

Elsa opens the envelope and it says:

HELP WANTED

IF YOU ARE COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO DO THIS: YOU CAN BE A SECURITY GUARD HERE AT FREDDY FAZBEAR’S CHOCOLATIER FOR THE HOURS BETWEEN 12AM TO 6AM. $150 (in gold) a night.

This is a very informative envelope.

Why in all the many layers of hell would a chocolatier solicit the reigning monarch to be their night guard even at such a ridiculous salary? That makes absolutely no sense. Is this like one of those things where you send a wedding invitation to the Queen of England under the assumption that she would never attend and might just send you a nice present instead?

“You know what? …I’ll do it! We love chocolate!”, says Elsa, hugging her beloved sister.

…You’re the queen. You can probably buy all the chocolate you want. What is your incentive to do this?

“But it says only ONE person can go.”, said Anna, sadly.

No, it doesn’t. The envelope uses singular pronouns but it doesn’t explicitly say that only one person can respond to the ad, nor is it addressed directly to Elsa. Anna could respond if she wanted to.

“Don’t worry, Anna. After my first night at the chocolatier, I can use a quarter of my gold to get us some chocolate.”, said Elsa, courageously suggesting her idea to Anna, after the events when Hans was in Arendelle.

Oooh, a whole quarter! That comes to … :does math: Thirty seven dollars and fifty cents before taxes and whatever fees associated with turning gold into useful currency. If you’re only taking the job to buy chocolate, then why not spend the whole amount? Why only a quarter? It’s not as if you need to save the rest for rent and groceries.

And what is so courageous about buying nearly forty dollars worth of chocolate? And what does any of this have to do with Hans’ douchebaggery? I am so very confused about many aspects of this plan.

“That’s great, sis! I’ll drop you at the chocolatier. Where is it at?”, Anna continued.

“It’s at 420 Spooky Street, which is about 5 miles away from Arendelle.”, Elsa read.

:headdesk:

:THWACK!:

:THWACK!:

The chocolatier isn’t in a city of any sort, it’s just located on a lone street located five miles from the Arendelle border. Because why make sense?

“I’ll get the sled.”, Anna says.

Is it even winter time, or is Elsa going to make snow for them to ride on all the way to the chocolatier? If that’s the case, how will Anna get home?

A few hours later, when Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, Sven and Olaf goes to drop Elsa off at 420 Spooky Street, Sven was running faster which the trip has taking a several half-hours.

Nandatte? What does that even mean? And why did everyone take the trip to drop Elsa off at the chocolatier?

There she was. Elsa waved goodbye and told them to pick her up at 6AM. They left.

Dear diary, I went to the store today to buy orange juice and a new eyeball scooper. Saw a cloud shaped like a kitten, it was adorable!

“Very scary.”, Elsa said, in a unsuspicious way.

Smoooth.

She read the paper again for the directions, looks around, and there was the place.

There weren’t any directions, there was barely an address!

She went inside and a employee welcomed her to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza.

I thought this was supposed to be a chocolatier? That’s the only reason Elsa decided to take the job.

“What’s a Pizza? I thought you sell chocolates here.”, questions Elsa.

Isn’t this something you should have asked yourself before entering the building? The business name should be on the outside. And how is there a restaurant only five miles from your home and you don’t know anything about it?

“1. Pizza was made by Italians in the early days, and it’s very delicious!

This in no way explains what pizza is. Not even close.

:THWACK!:

That was for the numeral.

2. The one that you read in the mail was a typo! We do sell lots of chocolates as well.”, answered the employee.

Ummmm, no. A typo is when Taco uses “cannon” instead of “canon” in a sentence. How can anyone fuck up the spelling of “pizzeria” and get “chocolatier” out of it? And wouldn’t you make extra-sure to spell-check a letter you were sending to the frickin’ Queen?

:THWACK!:

Numeral.

“That’s a relief.”, Elsa took a deep breath after saying that.

In what way is this a relief?

“Anyway, if you’re here for the job, we have a spot that has opened for you.”, the employee continues.

The ruler of your country, who is known for having magical powers, shows up at your restaurant in her special Snow Queen outfit and you immediately assume that she’s applying for a job?

This must be some damn good pizza.

“I know. I read the mail. This doesn’t have a typo in the sentence as well, right?”, Elsa questions.

Wha? Didn’t the anonymous employee just say there was a typo in the … whatever the hell that thing was?

“No. That’s a famous job here at this pizzeria.

I am so confused right now.

Also, we have amazing friendly animatronics to make our kids happy.”, the employee answers once again.

Yeah, super friendly. They just want to love you to death.

“Deal. For $150 (in gold) for a night.”, says Elsa as she shook the employee’s hand.

:THWACK!:

Numerals.

:THWACK!:

Parentheses in dialogue.

So this random employee who just happened to greet Elsa when she walked into the restaurant just offered the queen a job on the spot? Does the random employee even have the authority to do that? Is Elsa not even going to ask what the job is or what she will be expected to do?

12AM

Hello, time-stamp. I’m not surprised to see these in this fic, it’s rare to find a FNAF fic that doesn’t have time-stamps in some capacity given how important time is in the game.

“Hello? Hello, hello? Well, if you’re hearing this you made a poor career choice.”, said a voice on the phone.

Dammit, author! Did you have to drag Phone Guy into this? And shouldn’t he be dead depending on where in the timeline this is taking place?

Elsa was startled by the voice. She found out it isn’t coming from anywhere, but the phone.

:repeatedly headdesks:

The phone apparently does not exist in corporeal form.

“Where’s the chocolate?”, she demanded, when looking for it. “I work in a pizzeria and I’m not even provided free chocolate?”, Elsa said to herself.

Ugh, I know – it’s just so unfair! I mean, I work in a bank and not once have I ever been offered a free table lamp. I should complain to the corporate offices.

She then looks at the computer and security system in the room she is in has to offer.

It’s like this fic was stitched together from the scraps of other fics.

She looks around to see if anything in the pizzeria is safe, but she is suspicious when she found out Freddy Fazbear was missing. She then presses the light button on to see Freddy Fazbear is in front of the window.

Screaming in fear, she turns the light off and back on, Freddy’s still there. She does this again, he’s still there. But on the final time she does this, he’s gone.

I am very familiar with the game and the mechanics that the author is referencing, but I have absolutely no idea what is going on. I can make an educated guess based on my own personal knowledge, but I really shouldn’t have to do that.

“I think I’ll just stay here for now.”, Elsa says, her heart beating fast.

The security guard should stay in the security office, to monitor the security cameras? What a novel concept!

1AM

I am absolutely fine with speeding through the clock as fast as possible.

Elsa peeps out on the door and curiously, goes out to get food.

:repeatedly headdesks:

Even if there weren’t dangerous animatronics roaming around, it would be very unprofessional for Elsa to leave her post to go get a snack. And restaurants clean up the kitchens at the end of the day, discarding any leftovers and shutting down the equipment. Unless Elsa knows how to operate a commercial pizza oven, she’s going to be out of luck.

“I’m hungry.”, said Elsa, as she goes across the party room.

Then you should have eaten before you got to work.

One of the animatronics, Freddy Fazbear glitches, saying “Let’s get her.” in a scary voice, and another, Chica says, “PIZZZAAAAA!”, as the three look at Elsa.

:looks through character list:

I don’t remember seeing a Freddy Fazbear Glitches in the game. Is it Golden Freddy? Nightmare Freddy?  And why are the animatronics talking?

Elsa goes to the Parts and Service room to see there is no food during nighttime.

Wha? There wouldn’t be food there in the daytime, so why would nighttime be any different? Restaurants don’t leave food just sitting all over the place, since that leads to problems with insects and rodents (and the occasional ‘possum if you live in the American South).

She stood there when somebody was behind her.

Seriously, author; did you just skim through other fics and pull out random sentences to use in yours?

She turns around and while screaming, runs.

Off into the misty Void.

She was cornered by Freddy, but when an animatronic head looks at her, she uses her ice powers, levitating the head, and throws it right at Freddy, giving her the chance to escape, while screaming again.

:blinks:

:reads passage again:

:blinks again:

I know Elsa’s ice powers are treated a little like Maslow’s Hammer in the film, but this is just utter bullshit.

“What the heck was that?!”, Elsa questioned loudly.

That’s what I want to know!

She then turns to see Foxy playing the piano, and singing a Ray Charles song.

…How does this keep getting weirder?!?

Elsa looks at Foxy in horror during his performance.

C’mon, he can’t be that bad. It’s probably just a recording.

Suddenly, all the animatronics pop right in front of Elsa.

And from behind!

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”, screamed Elsa at the top of her lungs. She ran back to the security room as fast as she could.

So the first time she is frightened Elsa she instinctively used her ice powers to … do whatever it was she did, but this time she screamed like a little bitch baby and ran away?

2AM

:toot-toot!: Let’s keep this fail train a-rollin’!

Looking out for the four animatronics, Elsa also listens to the voice of the guy who talks on the phone. He then instructs her what the animatronics are and why are they after people.

But he called her at midnight, which was two hours ago. He hasn’t been on the phone this entire time. The Phone Guy’s messages are only a few minutes long at the most.

Elsa then plays and observes the metal door’s controls, until Foxy appears right in front of Elsa. Screaming in fear once again, she closes the door. Foxy then says, “Hey, dude, I just wanna let you know the pizza’s ready.”, and Elsa quickly disagrees. Foxy then says, “Sorry, man. Just curious.”.

… What the ever-loving hell is going on?

Looking around, three of the animatronics are together and they try to get their way in by breaking the glass windows.

That’s actually the first interesting idea the fic has had; why don’t the animatronics just break through the big windows and crawl into the office? Presumably they have protocols in their programming to prevent them from breaking windows, but they should also have protocols in their programming to prevent them from murderizing people so I guess their programming isn’t all that great.

Bonnie then appears and screams, “Someone removed the PIZZZAAAAAA!”.

And just like that, we’ve gone back to the nonsense.

All of the animatronics scream so loud, that Elsa was forced to cover her ears. She has a idea when she finds the phone. She called 911.

:THWACK!:

Numerals.

She had to find the phone? I thought she was just listening to Phone Guy? How could she listen to Phone Guy without access to the phone?

“Hello?”, says a doctor on the phone.

Doctors don’t answer calls to emergency services, dispatchers do. They can help the caller through the steps for basic first aid, but they aren’t medically trained doctors.

“Hello. This is Elsa!

And of course the dispatcher knows exactly who Elsa is, right? There can’t be more than one female in the world with that name.

I’m in Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza!

Something the dispatcher would already know since Elsa is likely using a landline registered to the pizzeria.

Something bad has gone wrong and you need to hurry and save me befor-“, Elsa calls. The phone goes off.

“Hello? Hello? Hello?!”, says the doctor, thinking that something bad has happened.

Which, following protocol, would mean that emergency services would be dispatched immediately to the pizzeria’s address. Emergency Services treats hang-ups very seriously, which is why you should always stay on the line if you dial them by accident and let them know you didn’t mean to do it. Not only can you avoid police and fire services showing up at your house, but many municipalities can fine you for calling in a false report.

Unknowingly to Elsa, she accidentally pressed on the hang up button because of the loud noises that the animatronics are making.

The noise was so loud it made her hang up the phone? Bwa?

“Are you kidding me?”, Elsa says, after she hung up on the call accidentally.

I really hope so, although it just could be the work of an inexperienced author who is trying too hard to write humor.

“Guess you gave me no choice!”, she then says, as she calls a 24/7 pizzeria service.

Wait, what?

Elsa called for pizza from a pizzeria instead of just hitting redial to get help? The frickin’ hell? That doesn’t make any sense at all, plus she’s going to have to pay for the pizza she orders. This job could end up costing her money.

After a while, the pizza employee arrives to give the pizza, distracting the animatronics for Elsa to take a break from all the noise.

Why do the animatronics want pizza? They can’t eat it or otherwise make use of it. And even if they have some reason to desire it, they work at a pizzeria! If they want pizza, they have access to an unlimited supply once they figure out how the oven works.

She then sighs and says, “This is gonna be a long night.”, she reliefs.

So long that I’m going to divide the fic into two parts.

Now let me ask you a question, Patrons – could you spot any difference between the chapters? Could you even tell that this was supposed to be three separate chapters? I didn’t remove any line breaks, because there were none, and decided not to mark the beginning of each chapter in any way. I can’t really tell where they begin and end, which is probably a bad sign. The only real sign of progression is that the fic is getting steadily worse.

3AM

On the plus side, we’re halfway through the night now.

Using the computer, Elsa looks out for the animatronics after their pizza she ordered earlier, and she finds out that the animatronics aren’t just killing people at that time,

Wait, they aren’t “just” killing people? Does that mean they are killing people as well as doing other things? And where are these people coming from? The restaurant is closed!

but instead fooling around with some other funny things,

:snorts:

Not in this fic.

including Bonnie reacting to Justin Bieber and Chica feeding her stomach pizza.

I don’t think either of those things count as “funny things” in any capacity.

She suddenly sees the REAL Justin Bieber running away from Bonnie, saying, “OMG, JUSTIN BIEBER!”.

…And from behind?

Why is Justin Bieber in the fic? Is there any reason for any of this?

Elsa then asks, “Excuse me, can you do my job for a bit?”, to Bonnie. He declines and continues chasing Justin.

Okay, skipping over the whole Justin Bieber thing – assuming that the fic is at least pretending to follow the premise of the games then Elsa is hiding from the animatronics because they want to shove her into an animatronics suit. Why would she ask one of those same animatronics to do her job for her? What would Bonnie do if he accepted, try to shove himself in a spare animatronic suit?

“URGH! These guys are getting more annoying than scary! No wonder they are doing some foolish stuff right now!”, angrily yells Elsa.

I agree with you that this is getting more annoying, but the rest of your statements are nonsense.

She turns around and notices a Golden Freddy Fazbear behind her, and she fell backwards, getting away from the animatronic. She also notices a dozen of chocolate truffles on his hand, luring Elsa to get it.

Wait, how does the animatronic know that would be an effective lure? When did they learn about her obsession with chocolate?

This activates Golden Freddy’s jumpscare, causing the distraught snow queen to run away from it. There is a screen saying: “Elsa’s Night at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza has stopped Responding”, after this.

:repeatedly headdesks:

Seriously, what the hell is going on?

Screaming, she realizes the whole thing was a dream, and she is still at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. She then looks at the camera to find the animatronics trying to find Elsa again.

I don’t know about you, but I rarely have dreams with loading screens.

“That is the worst dream I’ve ever had.”, says the traumatized Elsa.

Exactly which part of this clusterfuck was a dream? Just the last bit with Justin Bieber, or does it go back farther than that? There wasn’t really any opportunity for Elsa to fall asleep at any time, so I have no idea when it began.

4AM

:hammers Fast Forward button repeatedly:

GO FASTER, DAMMIT!

Over the course of 4AM, Elsa started to have bloodshot eyes, after staying up for the job.

I assume the author means the hour between four and five in the morning, since “4AM” is not a persistent state of being.

She uses pieces of ice to soothe the pain with the water within.

Nandatte? I … Just … Wha?

“I’m. So. Hungry!”, says Bonnie, yelling.

You. Are. A. Machine! You don’t need food, dumbass.

“Where’s my pizza?! Where’s my pizza?!”, Chica also says, even though she ALREADY has one two hours earlier.

:flexes fingers:

I really wish I had my Xenodoken Gun right now.

“YOU JUST HAD ONE! GO AWAY! CAN’T YOU JUST BUY ANOTHER ONE YOURSELVES?!”, Elsa screams angrily.

Again – they are machines. They don’t need food, they likely have no access to money, and if they really did want pizza for whatever implausible reason then they could probably find some in the dumpsters behind the building they are currently in.

On the left side of the room, Bonnie is gone, but Foxy appears.

I am so far past the point of caring right now.

“You can’t stay in there forever!”, Foxy psychopathically saying.

You underestimate my skills as a Librarian. If the DRD can’t winkle me out of my shell, you don’t stand a chance in hell.

Elsa dances and sings Let It Go once again,

When did she ever sing that song in the fic? I checked, it doesn’t appear anywhere.

buts tops when she finds out that the power level is at 14% and lowering down.

:THWACK!:

Numerals.

Shit, dude; you have two hours to go and you are at fourteen percent power? Someone’s gonna die

She didn’t even see the power level even since she started the shift.

Well, that’s your own damn fault then, isn’t it? Not only were you stupid enough to leave the office looking for munchies and trying to interact with the animatronics, you completely failed to do your damn job.

She then stops and decides, while Freddy laughs evilly. Elsa then gets an idea, and uses her magic to create an ice bomb to throw at the power generator.

What lemon fresh hell is this nonsense?

“Hey! Guess how much percentage of the power it says?”, Elsa tauntingly says to Chica.

I assume the answer isn’t the obvious “less than fourteen percent”.

“Pizza?”

Ooh, can I change my answer?

“No! IT’S OVER 9000!”

The ice bomb explodes leaving a full percentage of… INFINITE%.

I don’t think you understand how percentages work. Like, at all. (I also think this might be a Dragonball reference, but I’m too tired to go look it up. I just want to be done with this mess.)

Elsa, once again celebrates by singing Let It Go once again.

:alarms blare:

THAT’S IT!

:FWOOSH!:

:a rapidly expanding ball of white-hot flames tears through a portion of the Library, triggering a partial respawn event. Ghostie, now dressed in a dirndl and clogs, marches into the new Riffing Chamber and sits down at the console. Syl, looking dazed and somewhat singed, is sitting in the middle of the floor:

What the hell are you doing here?

“I … I don’t know. I was just walking down the hall and … fwoosh.” :glares at Ghostie: “Did you lose your temper again?”

…No.

“Then why are you dressed like a milkmaid?”

Hey, I can wear whatever I want to!

“Mmmmm-hmmm. You just better not’ve…” :checks vest pockets and removes a lump of melted plastic: “Goddammit! I just got this phone!” :shakes lump of plastic in Ghostie’s direction: “Do you have any idea how long it took me to get this? And now I’ve got to go back in the customer service queue!”

:Syl hobbles out of the door, favoring her left side:

Now I feel kind of bad about the partial respawn event.

:Syl leans back in the chamber:

“By the by, if anyone passes through asking questions about an incident in the bachelors’ dorms, you never saw me.” :leaves again:

Feeling less bad now.

“SHE CHEATED!”, Freddy Fazbear screams, as Bonnie and Chica use guns to try to break the windows, but were shatterproof. They try the doors, but they were closed by Elsa.

Didn’t someone already break the windows? Or was that part of the dream? I can’t keep track of what’s going on.

“You big CHEATER!”, Foxy yells in a scary voice, much to the shock of Elsa. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”, he then says, as he hacked his way in the room.

Is there any reason at all that Elsa isn’t using her ice powers to just freeze these assholes into solid blocks of ice? Any reason at all?

Elsa manages to close the door on Foxy for a close call. “That was a close one.”, Elsa breathes. She celebrates singing Let It Go one last time.

I’m picturing her doing the entire routine, from building a giant ice palace to the wardrobe change, every time she sings this song. That would mean that there’s several massive ice buildings in the area right now.

“Got ya!”, says Freddy, as he appears behind her.

Suddenly!

…It just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Using her ice powers to freeze Freddy temporarily by singing “Turn away and slam the door!”, she closes the door before Freddy was free.

Her powers aren’t actually tied to the song in any way, if they were then there really would be several ice castles in the location, so this make no sense.

“That was a closer one.”, Elsa breathes again, as the power level went back to 100% due to Foxy’s hack.

:deadpan: Oh, no; the power went from an infinite amount back down to just one hundred percent. Whatever shall Elsa do?

:THWACK!:

Numerals.

5AM

Hold on, Ghostie; we’re nearly to the end. Ganbatte!

“Better safe than sorry…better safe than sorry…”, Elsa continuously says, with the phone call going on.

Why the hell is the phone call still going? It’s been nearly six hours!

She thought the night will never end.

It does seem like it is dragging on forever despite the slap-dash pacing, doesn’t it?

“I’m hungry.”, she then says, trying to look for chocolate.

Because that’s definitely something you should be concerned about while bloodthirsty robots try to break down your door.

Elsa then sees Chica finding a chocolate bar and eats it, much to Elsa’s distraught. Chica then says the chocolate tastes bad, making Elsa’s eyes glow blue and making her angry.

Why would hearing that the chocolate is bad make Elsa angry? Shouldn’t she be relieved that she didn’t eat the bad-tasting chocolate? And how can Chica even taste it in the first place?

Later, Chica and Foxy look for Elsa until Elsa comes to them.

“You don’t. Mess. With Queen Elsa.”, Elsa grits her teeth, angrily saying this.

Uh-oh. I think someone flipped the Bitch Switch.

Foxy then mockingly taunts her, but fails to distract or avail.

What the hell does that mean? What does any of this mean? MAKE SENSE, DAMMIT!

Using her ice powers, Elsa kills Foxy by using a dozen of icicles at him. Chica and Freddy runs away from the crazed Elsa, while Bonnie was the next one to be killed by Elsa’s ice powers.

Freddy goes in the security room but Chica begs him to let her in, saying: “PIZZZAAAA!”. Elsa charges right to Chica, and is killed as well.

I don’t care how asinine and implausible this all is, I just want everyone dead as quickly as possible.

Freddy, as the last animatronic, looks for Elsa in the security system, noticing she transformed into her Disney INFINITY self.

:repeatedly headdesks:

Not only does Elsa turn into a scannable statuette from a video game, but Freddy recognizes her from the game. Right. Sure. Whatever.

“The cold never bothered me anyway.”, Elsa warns. Freddy then looks at another camera to see Elsa running towards the security room, but Freddy closes it just in time.

Why is Elsa suddenly acting like Foxy from the game?

“I’m so startled.”, Freddy says in horror.

YOu can tell how scared he is because he clearly announces how he is feeling. That’s how emotions work, right?

Elsa pops up and does a blood-curdling yell which Freddy screams in fear.

…Wait, did he scream her scream? How would that even work?

Then everything turned dark.

Did the Nothing devour all of Fantasia again?

Seeing Elsa before the power turns off, with a few silent moments in complete darkness, Elsa scares and kills Freddy.

Silent except for the near-constant screaming, of course.

Suddenly, the clock turns…

6AM

It’s about damn time. Even though the fic has been going at a breakneck speed, it still feels like this has taken for-frickin’-ever.

Exiting the pizzeria, Elsa, back to normal, is shown to have oil all over herself. Anna asks her when she arrived, “What happened?”, and Elsa answers, “Don’t ask.”

Ewww. I don’t think I even want to know. Whatever explanation you tried to give me wouldn’t make sense anyway.

As they went back to Arendelle, they both had a talk.

Separate, individual talks that didn’t involve each other.

“I’m not going back to that place ever again.”

“Why?”

Because she killed all the robots and destroyed the building with her ice magic?

“It’s scary.

Dude, you were the scariest thing in that place.

But I have some good news!”

“What?”

I don’t know what it could be, but I bet it is stupid.

“I got my payment and chocolate before you saw me outside.”, Elsa said, as she held out two bags.

The hell you did! I bet you just raided the chocolate display cabinet on your way out.

One has gold and one has chocolate.

Why did you steal the gold? You only needed the gold to buy chocolate.

“You’re the best sister ever.”, Anna concludes, as Elsa feeds her chocolate.

That’s a weirdly intimate thing to do. I’m glad this didn’t turn into one of those fics.

That’s all for this fic, gentle Patrons! I did warn you it would get weird towards the end. It still feels like a novice writer who is just trying way too damn hard to be funny, though. Humor is largely subjective, though, so it could be that there is someone out there who finds this fic hilarious. If that is the case, then I wish they could explain it to me.

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107 Comments on “1829: Elsa’s Night at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza – Chapters 1-5”

  1. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “Elsa, courageously suggesting her idea to Anna, after the events when Hans was in Arendelle,”

    Are they trying to imply that Elsa recieved this letter before the events of the movie and suggested taking the job after said events?

  2. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “It’s at 420 Spooky Street, which is about 5 miles away from Arendelle,”

    “420 Spooky Street”

    What, was “69” just too mature and fitting?

  3. Jon Arbuckle says:

    ““Deal. For $150 (in gold) for a night.”, says Elsa as she shook the employee’s hand,”

    I’ve only seen the first 40 minutes of Frozen, so I might be wrong but… why would Elsa know what a dollar is? Aren’t they in fantasy Norway or somewhere?

    • GhostCat says:

      They don’t actually mention any currency by name at all; there’s a scene in a store (Oaken’s Trading Post) where numerical amounts are given, like “ten” or “forty”, but that’s it.

      • Jon Arbuckle says:

        I maintain that it’s probably not dollars. Then again, they also didn’t have pizza, robots or pizza hungry robots in Frozen, so what do I know?

        • GhostCat says:

          It’s very doubtful. Even in the fic Elsa isn’t being paid in dollars – she’s being paid an amount gold of a specific dollar amount. I think that’s actually illegal in the US since gold hasn’t been used as legal tender since the 1930s.

  4. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “…Chica feeding her stomach pizza,”

    You mean… eating it?

  5. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “I don’t know about you, but I rarely have dreams with loading screens,”

    Oh, sure rub it in. Just because you’re a human and you don’t have to wait several minutes for your electric sheep to pop in.

    Uh, I mean… I agree, fellow normal human.

  6. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “‘Hey! Guess how much percentage of the power it says?’, Elsa tauntingly says to Chica.
    “Pizza?”
    “No! IT’S OVER 9000!”
    The ice bomb explodes leaving a full percentage of… INFINITE%.”

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    Elsa’s Night at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza

    Why?

  8. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “She celebrates singing Let It Go one last time,”

    I’m pretty sure there’s more to Elsa’s character than one song.

  9. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “‘Better safe than sorry…better safe than sorry…’, Elsa continuously says,”

  10. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “‘I’m so startled.’, Freddy says in horror.

    You can tell how scared he is because he clearly announces how he is feeling.”

  11. AdmiralSakai says:

    $150

    Arandelle uses dollars?

  12. AdmiralSakai says:

    How can anyone fuck up the spelling of “pizzeria” and get “chocolatier” out of it?

    Well we did just have someone fuck up the spelling of “Logan” to get both “Jericho” and “Virgil” out of it.

  13. AdmiralSakai says:

    Pizza was made by Italians in the early days

    “The early days” being… what, exactly? Rome??

  14. AdmiralSakai says:

    Elsa was startled by the voice. She found out it isn’t coming from anywhere, but the phone.

    :repeatedly headdesks:

    The phone apparently does not exist in corporeal form.








    THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

  15. AdmiralSakai says:

    She then looks at the computer and security system in the room she is in has to offer.

    Which are both common things to find in 17th-century Scandinavia.

  16. AdmiralSakai says:

    She was cornered by Freddy, but when an animatronic head looks at her, she uses her ice powers, levitating the head, and throws it right at Freddy, giving her the chance to escape, while screaming again.

    As opposed to using her ice powers to… you know, throw ice at Freddy.

  17. AdmiralSakai says:

    Suddenly, all the animatronics pop right in front of Elsa.

    No no, don’t do that; you need to leave room for the skeletons!

  18. AdmiralSakai says:

    And where are these people coming from? The restaurant is closed!

    Well, remember, she called out for pizza delivery from a competing pizzeria, so the animatronics are probably killing the delivery guys.

  19. AdmiralSakai says:

    She suddenly sees the REAL Justin Bieber running away from Bonnie, saying, “OMG, JUSTIN BIEBER!”.

    Why is Justin Bieber saying “OMG, JUSTIN BIEBER!”? One would assume that he got over the surprise of being himself some time around the age of one or two.

  20. AdmiralSakai says:

    URGH! These guys are getting more annoying than scary!

    The entire FNAF franchise distilled into nine words.

  21. AdmiralSakai says:

    This activates Golden Freddy’s jumpscare, causing the distraught snow queen to run away from it. There is a screen saying: “Elsa’s Night at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza has stopped Responding”, after this.

    :repeatedly headdesks:

    Seriously, what the hell is going on?

    So this is what happens when you attempt to transcribe YouTube poop into a coherent narrative.

    Good to know, I guess.

    • GhostCat says:

      In full disclosure I did not make much of an effort to find the original video that the author used as “inspiration” so I don’t know how much of this nonsense is from the video and how much was supplied by the author. If anyone wants to go to the trouble of finding the video to make the comparison, more power to you.

  22. AdmiralSakai says:

    Elsa breathes. She celebrates singing Let It Go one last time.

  23. AdmiralSakai says:

    “The cold never bothered me anyway.”, Elsa warns.

    Which would be a more significant threat if any part of the building was known to be at less than room temperature.

  24. BatJamags says:

    Somebody knocks on the door, and Elsa opens it. It was Anna.

    GAH! Tense whiplash!

    Alright, I’ll get the time machine and see if I can keep these time n00bs from causing too many paradoxes.

    • GhostCat says:

      :hands Bats a foam neck brace:

      You’re going to need this.

    • BatJamags says:

      “Elsa! I found something in the mail today!”, Anna said, as she gave Elsa the mail.

      Elsa opens the envelope and it says:

      Oh, you think you can evade me by jumping back to the present, do you? Too bad! I’m already there/here! Stable time loops, motherfuckers!

  25. AdmiralSakai says:

    That’s all for this fic, gentle Patrons! I did warn you it would get weird towards the end. It still feels like a novice writer who is just trying way too damn hard to be funny, though. Humor is largely subjective, though, so it could be that there is someone out there who finds this fic hilarious. If that is the case, then I wish they could explain it to me.

    Having watched some of the YouTube channel that apparently inspired this, it seems to be all pretty standard You-Tube-Poop-style videos. These derive their humor from hitting the viewer with a very large number of absurdist and exaggerated ‘sketches’ extremely quickly, often with little or no overarching plot- think Monty Python, if Monty Python was free-basing cocaine. They typically use video game characters because a lot of free assets for them exist and they’re easy to animate, especially with programs like Garry’s Mod.

    Of course, even a good YTP series (which this SMG4 outfit is sort of not) doesn’t really work in textual form because the rapidfire pacing disappears and a lot of the unexpected “wait, what?” quality is undercut by the reader being able to read ahead and only being able to take in basically on event at a time.

  26. BatJamags says:

    HELP WANTED

    DEAD OR ALIVE
    $50,000 REWARD

    IF YOU ARE COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO DO THIS:

    I wonder if you could find a wordier way to phrase that.

    YOU CAN BE A SECURITY GUARD HERE AT FREDDY FAZBEAR’S CHOCOLATIER FOR THE HOURS BETWEEN 12AM TO 6AM.

    That’s not how time works. See, this is what happens when you get inexperienced time travelers fucking with the timeline. Next thing you know, Barry Allen will go back to save his mother and cause some dumbass retcon that’ll erase a bunch of people from existence and put Cyborg on the Justice League. He’s a Titan, not a Leaguer, goddammit! The Titans are a perfectly valid team and Cyborg’s got a lot of history with them!

    $150 (in gold) a night.

    Yeah, no. To be a security guard? And the amount is in dollars? Why are they using dollars in nineteenth-century Norway or wherever the hell this is? Or why are these nineteenth-century Norwegian or whatever the hell they are royalty in the modern United States?

    See, I’ve got some crossover ideas in the works, and most of the planning I’ve been doing for them is agonizing over how to fit the canons together without unfairly favoring one over the other or disrupting the mechanics of either. Some authors seem content to just have two canons arbitrarily exist in the same universe even if they don’t fit together at all.

    • GhostCat says:

      Next thing you know, Barry Allen will go back to save his mother and cause some dumbass retcon that’ll erase a bunch of people from existence and put Cyborg on the Justice League. He’s a Titan, not a Leaguer, goddammit! The Titans are a perfectly valid team and Cyborg’s got a lot of history with them!

      :gives Bats a paper bag to breathe into:

      Just look at it this way; Cyborg’s inclusion in the Justice League movie is a set-up for the stand-alone Cyborg movie in 2020, which will probably be a set-up for at least one Teen Titans movie. Eventually.

      • BatJamags says:

        So the Titans are going to be sacrificed to whatever monkeys with typewriters DC has “writing” their movies?

        *Takes paper bag*

  27. BatJamags says:

    420 Spooky Street,

    Oh, so it’s a trollfic. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting that.

  28. BatJamags says:

    “What’s a Pizza? I thought you sell chocolates here.”, questions Elsa.

    Yes.

  29. BatJamags says:

    Dammit, author! Did you have to drag Phone Guy into this? And shouldn’t he be dead depending on where in the timeline this is taking place?

    *Pokes head out of time machine, wearing neck brace*

    It’s taking place all over the damn timeline.

  30. BatJamags says:

    Elsa was startled by the voice. She found out it isn’t coming from anywhere, but the phone.

    THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

  31. BatJamags says:

    She then looks at the computer and security system in the room she is in has to offer.

    Room: Have I got a deal for you! For only some absurdly high amount of money listed in a currency that doesn’t exist in this time or place but is also paid in gold, you’ll get a computer, and I’ll throw in a security system, ABSOLUTELY FREE!

  32. BatJamags says:

    She stood there when somebody was behind her.

    Suddenly?

  33. BatJamags says:

    She was cornered by Freddy, but when an animatronic head looks at her, she uses her ice powers, levitating the head, and throws it right at Freddy, giving her the chance to escape, while screaming again.

    Because… water?

    God fucking dammit, it’s Subject 23 again.

  34. BatJamags says:

    She then turns to see Foxy playing the piano, and singing a Ray Charles song.

    What the actual fuck?

  35. BatJamags says:

    Foxy then says, “Hey, dude, I just wanna let you know the pizza’s ready.”, and Elsa quickly disagrees. Foxy then says, “Sorry, man. Just curious.”.

    So… Foxy’s a stoner now?

  36. BatJamags says:

    Bonnie then appears and screams, “Someone removed the PIZZZAAAAAA!”.

    This warrants random CAPSLOCK SHOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUTING from entities which canonically cannot (or don’t) TAAAAAAAALK!

  37. BatJamags says:

    Screaming, she realizes the whole thing was a dream, and she is still at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. She then looks at the camera to find the animatronics trying to find Elsa again.

    Great, now she’s in two places at once. Lousy goddamn stupid time travel.

  38. BatJamags says:

    buts tops when she finds out that the power level is at 14% and lowering down.

    GoodJamags: That’s weird, last I checked it was over-

    *SLAP*

    No! No outdated memes! Not in my Riffcave! Get that shit out of here!

    “Hey! Guess how much percentage of the power it says?”, Elsa tauntingly says to Chica.

    Oh fuck no.

    “No! IT’S OVER 9000!”

    God. FUCKING. Damn. It.

  39. BatJamags says:

    :alarms blare:

    *Headshotted in the head*

    *Respawns in the prettiest damn ballerina outfit ever*

    Alright, this is getting kind of-

    :FWOOSH!:

    Wait a second, that’s not how I write actio-

    *Disintegrated*

    *Nope, turns out this is the prettiest ballerina outfit*

    See, this is why I have my own Batcave. There are fewer things that turn me into a sizzling puddle of sludge there.

  40. BatJamags says:

    Exiting the pizzeria, Elsa, back to normal, is shown to have oil all over herself.

    I hate it when authors use oil as robo-blood. Sure, it makes sense that a robot would have some system of deploying oil to keep its joints and stuff working, but it wouldn’t be consistently pumping through the entire body like blood does.

    • GhostCat says:

      Hydraulic fluid would probably be circulated in a similar manner as blood, and it could be oil-based. That’s all I can think of that would be similar.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      Depending on the robot in question, there are a number of possible liquids that could be used.

      Lubricants are possible, but typically those are confined to a thin film on the joints themselves and exist in tiny amounts relative to the size of the robot itself. GC’s suggestion of hydraulic fluid is much more reasonable, especially since one of the reasons why hydraulics are used is to run physically distant actuators from a centralized pump- this results in long tubes full of the stuff (potentially under pressure) running a good distance. There’s also a lot of interesting research being done on “artificial muscles” which are flexible polymers or filling/draining balloons- while most current designs use dry rubbers or gases, I could see partially fluid-based ones being developed. Finally, there’s an entire sub-field of soft robotics, which as the name implies deals with robots made fully or partially out of squishy or flesh-like materials. Again most of these currently are dry rubbers or balloons, but I could easily see liquid or liguid-filled designs being developed- in fact, the non-mobile rubber ’tissue’ we use to test surgical robots does indeed exude (really gross and a bitch to clean up) oil when handled; it just doesn’t produce terribly much.

      All of these are related to motion in some way, and so their abundance is going to vary: while robots that are essentially a vehicle with some computer equipment where the cockpit should be are typically pretty dry, an anthropomorphic robot that’s mostly limbs by volume would probably have a decent chance of leaking at least some fluid if damaged- just not lubricant oil.

  41. agigabyte says:

    She called 911.

    :THWACK!:

    Numerals.

    I can accept using numerals for phone numbers, because it’s clunky to type out a full phone number using words, but nine-one-one isn’t hard. Additionally, there are few reasons to type a full phone number in a work of fiction. I don’t care that your character’s number spells LOL-SUK-BOOB, author. Your sexual humor barely even qualifies as humor at all, and having a full phone number is really distracting.

    Really, the only thing I almost always accept numerals for is military unit numbers – 501st Legion, instead of Five-Oh-First Legion.

    • GhostCat says:

      With the exceptions of common numbers like 911 or 411 it’s usually best to avoid actual phone numbers all together – like using “Elsa dialed the number for Freddy’s Pizza” rather than “Elsa dialed 555-666-7777 to reach Freddy’s Pizza” – since there’s always a chance it could be an actual working phone number and a reader might dial it on a whim.

      In this case it would have been better to use “She called Emergency Services” since this fic is probably set somewhere in Scandinavia, which doesn’t use the North American 911 system for emergency calls.

      • BatJamags says:

        There are certain ranges of phone numbers that are either off-limits or are guaranteed not to dial anything that’ll actually pick up, but it’s kind of finicky figuring out what falls in that range. In literary works, you can usually write around it, but in more visual stuff, you’ve gotta put something there. That’s why it always confuses me how people complain about 1-800-555-FAKE (That’s 1-800-555-3253. 1-800-555-3253*. Call now!) numbers. What else are they going to do? Use a real number that goes to a real phone?

        *According to TV Tropes, this actually probably would be a real number anyway, since only 555-0100 to 555-0199 are reserved. Can you imagine how much it would suck to have the number 555-555-5555? You’d probably get calls constantly from people who didn’t realize it was an actual number.

  42. TacoMagic says:

    A typo is when Taco uses “cannon” instead of “canon” in a sentence.

    Homophones! *Shakes fist at the sky*

  43. Leider Hosen says:

    !!Warning: Ahead is a Petty and entirely unnecessary nitpicky rant about economics because I had entirely too much time on my hands!!

    $150 (in gold) a night.

    …That… that is not even remotely how does currency conversion. After a mere two minutes of research I can say that Frozen takes place in 1840’s Norway, a period where coinage was still a thing but their currency was called the “speciedaler” or “skilling coins”, which could also be backed by paper Bank Notes.

    Dollars are the standard of AMERICA ONLY unless international trade is involved, but that wasn’t as much of a thing as it was today. If the advert was for a local, they wouldn’t mention dollars even once because the American dollar wouldn’t be circulating all that much right now, so the local currency would be far more recognizable and easy to use. That’d be like an Italian restaurant in America paying their employees in rupees… without abiding by the exchange rate.

    And secondly, author, inflation is a thing. That means a poor man’s salary today was a king’s ransom in yesteryear. $150 in present day is equal to almost $4000 in 1840, and when you factor in the currency exchange rate between America and Norway, that number could actually be much, MUCH higher (or lower, hard to say, but we’ll say higher for now.)

    At $4000 a night, you’re talking about a yearly wage of over a million fucking dollars, for being a night guard! I don’t know if it’s even possible for a pizza place to turn a profit with such an outrageous payrate.

    Now, since there are robots (I think, am still stuck on this damn line), this may take place in modern day… which actually opens another snafu of anachronisms since Norway has changed A LOT since 1840. Most pertinently: the salary would still be measured in kroner and not USD, and probably not in Gold since gold coins haven’t been minted in a long ass time.

    Basic research author, so it! Or someone with too much time and energy will do it for you and you’ll look like a big dummy head!

    • GhostCat says:

      Dollars are the standard of AMERICA ONLY unless international trade is involved,

      Not exactly; there’s about twenty different countries that use “dollar” as the name for their currency – including Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, Taiwan, and Jamaica to name a few. They don’t all have the same value, but the terminology is the same. There’s also a handful of countries that accept US dollars either officially or unofficially, like Ecuador and Lebanon, as legal tender in everyday transactions.

      • Leider Hosen says:

        I wasn’t really sure about that particular point, so I was sorta waiting to be corrected. I’m surprised there are so many countries in the Pacific that use it, learn something new everyday.

        • GhostCat says:

          Oddly enough, if you use Zimbabwe dollars instead of US dollars (the fic doesn’t specify what dollar is being used) then that $150 converts to approximately forty-one cents US and works out to about six cents an hour. That’s a lot more in-line to what the daily wages of an unskilled worker would be in the mid-1800s.

      • Leider Hosen says:

        It’d legitimately blow my fucking mind if that was intentional and this author is from Zimbabwe.

    • BatJamags says:

      Dollars are the standard of AMERICA ONLY

      Nah, they’re also-

      *Scrolls down*

      Dammit, I’m back on Eastern Time, and I’m still too slow to make valuable contributions to conversations, and now I can’t even blame the west coast for it.

  44. Leider Hosen says:

    Dammit, author! Did you have to drag Phone Guy into this? And shouldn’t he be dead depending on where in the timeline this is taking place?

    Silly Ghostie, obviously it takes place-

    There! The roundy bit by the thing!

  45. Leider Hosen says:

    One of the animatronics, Freddy Fazbear glitches, saying “Let’s get her.” in a scary voice, and another, Chica says, “PIZZZAAAAA!”, as the three look at Elsa.

    …Well that’s right to the point.

  46. Leider Hosen says:

    She stood there when somebody was behind her.

    http://imgur.com/6JtGTIA

    “Nuthin personal, Kid.”

  47. Leider Hosen says:

    I know Elsa’s ice powers are treated a little like Maslow’s Hammer in the film, but this is just utter bullshit.

    At least she didn’t stop time.

  48. Leider Hosen says:

    “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”, screamed Elsa at the top of her lungs. She ran back to the security room as fast as she could.

    Ahh Nostalgia. I remember back in 6th Grade when Little Hosen used onomatopoeia in dialog in such a slipshod way. Those were the days.

  49. Leider Hosen says:

    That’s actually the first interesting idea the fic has had; why don’t the animatronics just break through the big windows and crawl into the office? Presumably they have protocols in their programming to prevent them from breaking windows, but they should also have protocols in their programming to prevent them from murderizing people so I guess their programming isn’t all that great.

    Since it’s the security office, and it already has reinforced blast doors to stop intruders, I imagine the glass is also bulletproof or otherwise not your average plate glass. They may be robots, but while they are strong enough to overpower a human I don’t think they are remotely tough enough to break through security glass with brute force.

    Also they are… sorta programmed to not kill people, the problem is the souls of the dead scrambled their brains (servos?) and gave them a childish thought process, if we believe the theory they mistake you for an endoskeleton. It’s also likely they just really, REALLY hate security guys because they were killed by one and as human souls they are beyond the laws of programming.

    Both those aside, I’m pretty sure it’s canon their programming is garbage anyway. Any computer that has a meltdown if it’s POWERED OFF isn’t very well made, and it gives the game an excuse to exist.

    • GhostCat says:

      Since it’s the security office, and it already has reinforced blast doors to stop intruders, I imagine the glass is also bulletproof or otherwise not your average plate glass.

      Yeah but it’s the security office of a pizza restaurant, not a missile silo; I don’t think they would spring for reinforced blast doors or bulletproof glass because (with the exception of the unplanned actions of the animatronics) there’s not really a need for that level of security.

      • Leider Hosen says:

        Yeah. FnaF in general stops making sense pretty fast when you try to apply logic, even if the creator does at least try to explain things. Maybe “blast doors” is an overstatement of the metal doors that drop down, since you could actually make something like that pretty cheaply with just steel plates and an electric pulley system, which means it may just be normal glass.

        If they cared that much about safety, they wouldn’t let the haunted psycho robot children run all over the place because creating animatronics that don’t seize up after being powered down a few hours is hard and expensive and stuff.

    • BatJamags says:

      Since it’s the security office, and it already has reinforced blast doors to stop intruders

      Relevant:

  50. Leider Hosen says:

    Something bad has gone wrong

    So the situation failed to be bad and everything’s fine?

  51. Leider Hosen says:

    Wait, how does the animatronic know that would be an effective lure? When did they learn about her obsession with chocolate?

    …As much as it pains me to admit it this actually makes a semblance of sense on accident. Golden Freddy is an ethereal being or paranoia-induced illusion; if it’s the latter he knows because it’s all in Elsa’s head. An interesting premise if it was done on purpose by a competent author.

  52. AdmiralSakai says:

    So after some substantial digging I found the video this is supposedly based off of:

    There’s not a lot to say that I didn’t cover in my previous comment about YTP in general, other than confirming that ‘420 Spooky Street” is in it along with a bunch of other memes and ‘adult’ elements. The author censored most of them, but does not seem to have realized that ‘420’ is associated with marijuana.

    • Leider Hosen says:

      A minute in and I’m already endlessly more entertained than I have been reading this fic.

      …Partly because this fic sucks and partly because G-MOD and random mayhem and violence have been the height of humor to me since Highschool since I have the mental age of 14.

      Oh, and because when you present visual humor on a visual medium instead of adapting it to writing (poorly), it actually makes sense.

      • AdmiralSakai says:

        Yeah, while a lot of their other videos that I ran into while looking for this one are kind of ‘meh’, this one is actually pretty funny. It kind of represents YTP at its best- a rapid-fire cavalcade of complete insanity delivered just slowly enough to prevent the viewer’s brain from completely giving up.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      There are in fact several points where the video that was deliberately written to make no sense makes substantially more sense than the ‘fic. For instance Mario throws an enemy with an electrical attack into the generator, instead of an ice bomb.

    • BatJamags says:

      Yeah, I think I see what this video is trying to be, but the timing and humor just aren’t landing properly. Still makes a lot more sense than the fic, and I definitely don’t see why someone would try to adapt it to a literary format, but ugh.

  53. Leider Hosen says:

    Shit, dude; you have two hours to go and you are at fourteen percent power? Someone’s gonna die…

    You see if I was Elsa in this situation, and legitimately fearing for my life, I’d just close the doors, freeze them shut under a few inches of ice to seal them even without power, then just break the ice and leave the next morning… then find a new job because fuck that noise.

    That’s the thing about being a mage… you’re magical, and can easily solve situations with your powers. For that matter, how are these animatronics ANY threat to her at all? Elsa is super powerful and already incapacitated Freddy with a spare head, this situation should in no way threaten her… which is why she hasn’t used her ice at all save that one time.

  54. agigabyte says:

    THAT’S IT!

    :FWOOSH!:

    *DuFresne and Agent [GREY] respawn, wearing a rabbit-decorated onesie and a tea mug costume, respectively*

    DuFresne: Did you have to destroy the dining room? And did I have to respawn in a onesie?

    Agent [GREY]: I think it fits you well. It accentuates your musculature.


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