1090: Teen Fortress 2 – Chapter Six

Title: Teen Fortress 2
Author:  MarissaTheWriter
Media: Video Game
Topic: Team Fortress
Genre: Drama / Family
URL: Chapter Six
Critiqued by agigabyte and Cain

Cain: I’m back, with agig for this next installment.

agig: Only four more chapters to go!

Cain: Yep! Let’s do this.

AN HEERS THE NEXT CHAPTER!

TEEN FORTRESS 1

CHAPTER SEX: BIG PARTY BLOWOUT

Cain: Sex is not a number, moron.

It was the nite of Carolines big party for the seinors an I was goin there with Pyro. All Teen Fortress 2 was there wif there dates that were: Heavy an Sasa, Solder an Jenny Weasley, Ingineer an his robot girl, Demonan an Guz, Medik took his mom becos hes a nerd, an Sniper took a striper he found named Loise Boombooms. Katty was there to wif a boy koala named Bund. Loise started to strip an we all went “GO GO GOG!” Eksept the girls becos they were jelly of her dancin an boombooms.

agig: Boombooms? Really? Seriously?

Cain: Also, why are there so many names involving explosions?

“Glad you guys cold make it!” Paroline an Gabe said while dancin. Pyro an I went to get some drinks from the pucnh table. “What wold you like drink Py?” I asked to her with spesal pet nikname that made her blush. “Ill have some water becos Im the designed driver.” Her smartly an careful made me lover her more than ever an maybe tonite wold be the nite if you no what I meen…

agig: Who is this Paroline and why is she talking?

Cain: Marissa gets a redemption cookie for having the designated driver stay sober, however.

Not a verb counter: 14

We drank some drunks but somke happoned from the back place were some jerks was doin drungs an beer it was relay gross. “Hey this is a all ages party stop smakin you druggys!” I yelled loud at them but they didant listen. Then someon came in the room it was… PRINCIPAL GLADOS!

Cain: So all-ages parties now involve strippers and alcohol? Yeah, never mind on that redemption cookie.

“OMG! WHY IS PEPOLE DOIN DRUGS AN STRIPIN IN MY HOSE?” She was reel mad an puched a table to make drugs an beer get all over her. Then… she started lolling an got high! “Oh yah lets party lol!” She said an dranked up the beer. “Mom whats happoned to you?” Carline got scarred lookin on her feces an tried to stop Primpal GLaDOS befour she did somethin dum an stupid.

agig: I really don’t want to think about scarred fecal matter.

Goddess: I smuggled in some brain bleach for you.

Cain: Gaahh! No using SDQF in the middle of riffs. Although I will take some brain bleach.

“Scot look!” Pyroy elled an I turned head round an saw the drug junkeys standed up an taked there cloths of an I saw they wasant humans they was… ATLAS AN P-BOY!1 (But I didant no that was there name becos I didant met them before). “Hey b***** we gonna shot you!” P-Boy angered an taked out a guns. “How robots this is bad noos!” Rataman cried “Hoo cold done this?” A man came lollin out from the bushes it was… CAVE JOSNON!

Not a Verb Counter: 18

Cain: Who is this Cave Josnon?

“You didant invite me so now me an are friends are crashin it lol.”

Not a Verb Counter: 19

agig: What the hell are you crashing? You didn’t specify, moron.

Cave goated an then he roundhose kicked Ratman in the man place an his balls exploded an got yucky gross all over me an Pyro but Pyro didant care becos she had a soot.

Not a Verb Counter: 20

Goddess: The squick factor here is over 9000.

Ratman got real quite, then screem “AARRRRRRRGUGUGUGGUGHHHHHHHHHH!” So lowd he broked all the windows. Caroloin was made at Cave Jonson for roonin her party. “Get out now Cabe you g****** f***** b******!1!1!” We all o-mouthed at Caroline sayin cusses but Cave keeped lolling.

Not a Verb Counter: 23

Cain: Oh no. High schoolers cursing. *halfhearted scream*

“Also I met a frends of yurs Scout called… yur bros!”

Goddess: Scout has a friend named …yur bros? Damn, it must have sucked growing up with that name.

I o=mouthed at Cave, my bros was heer? Then a mussely guy wif angry mustache came in.

Not a Verb Counter: 24

agig: Mustaches can not be angry, damn it!

“I AM GOD THE BOWNY HUNNER AN YUR BROS SUMMONED ME TO KILL YOU SCOWT1!11/” It was… DOG THE BOWNTY HUNNER! He had onna those chainsords from God OFF War an a mashine gun an stuff an he was goin to kill me!

Cain: Is he called God or Dog, Marissa? Stay consistent!

“DONT WORRY SCOOT I GUT YUR BACK!” Heavy russianed an started shootin Sasa at Dog but Dog rabbed Principal GLaDOS so the bullets went in her an made her like holy an swish cheese.

Goddess: Death turns you into swiss cheese now? What?

Not a Verb Counter: 27

“!1121!” Carlnie screemed

Not a Verb Counter: 28

Cain: What? But I don’t…. huh? What the hell does this mean, damnit?!

an Gabe try hold her but she kicked way an ran to dead mom body. “Mom you was to yung an had even quite smokin how will I live now?”

agig: If this scene had good grammar, it could be emotional. Not here.

She cryed all over the place an Dog and Cave lolled an Dog got reddy to shoot a gain but I was super mad at the kill of my friends mom so I taked out Marrissa an charged an batted Dogs head of an it flew far an the blood got all on Cave an Atlas an [-Body so they ranned off.

Not a Verb Counter: 33

Goddess: Why the hell are those robots programmed to be squeamish? Not even our redshirts would run away from getting blood on them. Granted, they would probably die somehow, but they wouldn’t be scared of a little blood.

Cain: Also, we just surpassed the President Snow’s Numerous Oversights Counter! Hooray, I guess?

The princepal was kill an the party was rooned an my bros was back for revnage cold things get any worse?

TO BE CONTINUED!

NEXT CHAPTER THERES A SPESAL APPERANCE BY A CERTAN SOMEONE WINK WINK!

Not a Verb Counter: 35

Cain: NOPENOPENOPENOPENOEPNEOPE!!!!!!!!

ERROR PI AGIG.EXE HAS STOPPED RESPONDING

Goddess: Motherfucker! No way in all of fucking hell am I going to be here for the next chapter!

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