1836: Betrayal – Chapter Four

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by Lyle and Koori

Hello, everyone!  Happy Monday and welcome back to Betrayal.  Last time we went through this fic, a lot of cracked-out stupid happened.  There was something about Sakura summoning her demon creature who may or may not have killed Ino and then ate her.  Neji was overpowered by Sakura and then everyone had a party in the hospital while Neji admitted to Sakura kissing him.  This is a bid deal because blue.

I’ve been under the weather lately, so hopefully this chapter doesn’t kill me.  Let’s do it.

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1793: Betrayal – Chapter Three

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by Lyle Koori and Lina

Koori:  Hello everyone!  Miss Lyle is at work today – and tomorrow for that matter – in order to get a five-day weekend that starts on Friday, we will be handling the riff today.

Lina:  A five-day weekend would just be a week off, there, Perky.

Koori:  Not listening!  So last time on this piece of crap, there was a confrontation of sorts between Sakura and a bunch of ANBU that aren’t actually ANBU.  Bascially, the author just name-dropped enough of the main characters to try to appear as if she’s actually seen the show or read the manga.  By the end of the chapter, Sakura summoned something.

Lina:  Don’t forget about the copious author’s notes scattered throughout this thing, too.  Those have been as much fun as pulling teeth.

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1775: Betrayal – Author’s Note and Chapter Two

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Lyle

Hello, lovelies!  After some consideration (not a whole lot, mind you, just some) I’m dropping SONIC HIGH SCHOOL.  It was sapping my will to live and just wasn’t funny anymore.  So good riddance to the trollfic.  Let’s get back to the crackfic I’m doing, instead!

Last time, Sakura ran into Ino, who was turned into a moss-covered cat.  Ino told Sakura that she has a demon inside of her and then Sakura fake-exploded, the author threw a random-ass note into the middle of the fic explaining that Sakura didn’t actually explode, made fun of Ino, and then resumed the story.  Sakura decides to follow Ino’s advice of skipping town and we find out that Ino is actually serving a dark master (that the author reveals in her author’s notes to be Madara Uchiha, because what the hell is suspense and mystery about, right?)

With that, let’s start the next chapter, which is really an author’s note, because Darksakudragon doesn’t put enough author’s notes before, during, halfway through, and at the end of the prose as it is.

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1769: Betrayal – Chapter One

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Lyle

I’m sorry.  I’m so, so very sorry.  I can’t apologize enough for what I’m about to subject you to, my poor lovelies.  Welcome to “Betrayal.”

“Betrayal” hails from the Naruto section of ff.net.  Koori has been conspicuously absent since I mentioned I was going to look into riffing this fic, but I’m sure she’ll show up periodically to rage at the story for it’s numerous inaccuracies.  I won’t bother infodumping before we get started since I’ve done Naruto fics in here before.

Let’s dive in.

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1436: Tensei II – Chapter Three

Title:  Tensei II
Author:  The KittyCorn Nation (two author-conglomerate known as Monochrome Lynx and Seven Silver)
Media: Anime/Manga
Topic:  Naruto
Genre:  Adventure / Friendship
URL:  Chapter Three
Critiqued by Lyle Koori and Hekai

*Koori peeks her head into Lyle’s office, glances around, then slips in*

Koori:  Good morning, everyone.  *looks around again*  Uhm.  I honestly don’t know where Miss Lyle is today, which is worrisome since I’m supposed to be really good at gathering information and this is making me look horribly incompetent.  *fidgets and chews on her bottom lip*  I’d go looking for her some more but, according to my contact, I’m supposed to take her place in the riffing chamber should something like this happen.  But don’t worry too much, patrons; my host-clan, the Batá no Ninja, are out searching diligently for her.  And Lina said as soon as the morning rush ends, she’ll dispatch a couple baristas to aid in the search and rescue efforts.

In the meantime, I’m just going to take over here.  Shouldn’t be too hard, right?  I’ve done this before, although never on my own.  Let’s see here…

*sits down in Lyle’s chair and flips through some notecards*

Last time, we discovered that Alice was a better writer than Echinoderm, although she still needs some work.  Her character was reborn as part of the branch family of the Nara clan that the author made up.  But that’s okay, because she made a joke about it that Lyle liked.  Alice was from a happy family and well loved.  She does have some weird defect dealing with chakra that wasn’t very clear but it sounds like she absorbs it from around her but can’t produce it herself.  I think.  Uhm.  Anyway, we ended last chapter with her having some sort of panic attack, even though she was three, or five.  That part wasn’t clear, either.

*taps her cards on the desk for a moment*

Right.  Let’s continue with the story itself!

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1423: Tensei II – Chapter Two

Title:  Tensei II
Author:  The KittyCorn Nation (two author-conglomerate known as Monochrome Lynx and Seven Silver)
Media: Anime/Manga
Topic:  Naruto
Genre:  Adventure / Friendship
URL:  Chapter Two
Critiqued by Lyle

Hello, lovelies!  Welcome to the second chapter of the inexplicable Naruto Self-Insert fanfic, Tensei II.  So far, nothing Naruto-y has happened and we’ve read through a prologue and a chapter.  In the prologue, a plane exploded because blue, killing the self-inserts Alice and Enema.  In the first chapter, Elephant is reborn into DA MOSTEST TWAJEK BWAKSTOWY EVA!!111!1111!!! By the end of the chapter, she has discovered that she can turn parts of herself into hard silver and she gets a pet owl named Hedwig Kyokan, which, according to our resident Japanese learner, actually means “Large Warship,” even though our clueless author seems to think it means Compassion.

With that, we are switching to Alice’s point of view this next chapter.  Let’s see if she’s as twajek as Epididymis.

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1410: Tensei II – Chapter One

Title:  Tensei II
Author:  The KittyCorn Nation (two author-conglomerate known as Monochrome Lynx and Seven Silver)
Media: Anime/Manga
Topic:  Naruto
Genre:  Adventure / Friendship
URL:  Chapter One
Critiqued by Lyle

Good morning, everyone!  Welcome back to “Tensei II.”  Let’s recap!

The first chapter, which was really a prologue, was dumber than calling French Fries “Freedom Fries” because you’re mad at the French for not wanting to get involved in a war.  Self Insert Alice and Self Insert Erectile Dysfunction were on an airplane when the wing exploded for [reasons].  Alice died when the glass windows that don’t exist in airplanes exploded and impaled her.  Then Earwig died when the rest of the airplane exploded for more [reasons].  None of this was a surprise, nor was it in any way suspenseful, though, because we were told in the story summary and in a pointless copy-pasta of the summary within the story before the story actually started that both of them were going to die on the airplane.

Seriously, I could not make this sound stupider if I tried.

With that, let’s get to the actual chapter one!

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