Artastic Sunday – Parallel Realities Pokemon Battle!

Whoah, look at that: the first day we can fit in a non-snarking installment that we’ve had in forever! Whatever shall we do?

Well, it turns out we found quite a good thing to do this week.

*clears throat*

Okay, so you remember this chapter of Parallel Realities? Well, as some of you may recall, I made this gag:

Thane and Kolyat entered the area. Kolyat raised his pistol. “C-Sec freeze!”

Kolyat used C-Sec Freeze!

[please insert battle animation here]

It’s not very effective!

Kai picked Kasumi up from the ground by her throat and held her in Kolyat’s line of fire. Kasumi made choking sounds. “I don’t think so.” He glared at the two. “Throw the pistol into the lake or I break her neck.”

Kolyat hesitantly lowered his pistol and then threw it into the lake next to him.

“Very good.”

Kai Leng used Hostage Situation!

[please insert battle animation here]

It’s super effective!

Funny the kinds of things that missing commas create, right?

Well, during the past week, we received a message over on our Facebook page from a fan who drew up a little thing around that. And after seeing it, we decided it was hilarious, so now you get to see this little thing:

Credit to The Time Ninja

Credit to The Time Ninja

Thank you, The Time Ninja! You certainly made my week!


435: Parallel Realities – Chapter Forty-Eight, Part Three (The Grand Finale!)

Title: Parallel Realities
Author: InHarmsWay
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL:  Parallel Realities: Chapter 48
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this installment of Parallel Realities. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think you’ll be relieved to hear that we will finally be done with this ass fest today.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen: today is the last installment of Parallel Realities!

Yep, it’s been a long time coming, but we are finally here today to say “yay, we survived”! So let’s get going, shall we? We’ve got a terrible fanfic to finish!

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431: Parallel Realities – Chapter Forty-Eight, Part Two

Title: Parallel Realities
Author: InHarmsWay
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL:  Parallel Realities: Chapter 48
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Oh hello there, children, and welcome back to the snarking of the final chapter of Parallel Realities. Yeah, this chapter is definitely a long one, I will tell you guys that.

And it was especially long ‘cause nothing happened during the first part of the chapter. Yeah, basically it was nothing but regurgitated exposition, tons of conversations, and antagonism between characters that kind of had no reason to exist at all.

Well, thankfully for us, we finally get to the action in this installment, so I’m sure you all want to see how badly it fails.

So without further ado, let’s continue.

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426: Parallel Realities – Chapter Forty Eight, Part One

Title: Parallel Realities
Author: InHarmsWay
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL:  Parallel Realities: Chapter 48
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the beginning of the end! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally reached the last chapter of Parallel Realities after year of snarking at it. And I can honestly say that at 287,688 words, this will likely be the longest fic I’ll tackle in a long time.

This fic also probably has the greatest amount of stupid shit I’ve ever seen in a fanfic, though that may be because of the fact that it went on for so long. I can’t say this fic has the most concentrated amounts of stupid I’ve ever seen, but that has more to do with the insane length of this story. Either way, I’ll be glad never to touch this fic again once I’m done.

Now, as I said in the previous installment, this chapter is a mammoth chapter, so it will take three installments to get through. But hey, every update we go through is just a hair’s breadth away from being the end, right?

However, before I move on, I have to say that there is something I forgot to do last chapter: see, in the state of shock that was brought on by the stupidity of the previous chapter’s plot twist, I forgot to buzz it appropriately. So if you will give me a few seconds, I will go ahead and rectify that.

*hits buzzer four times*

Our Allies Ladies And Gentlemen: 21

Ass Pull From Hell Count: 20

In The Name Of Plot Regurgitation Count: 12

I want to buzz it a lot more, but I can’t since I don’t have names for some of the things wrong with that twist.

Anyway, let’s get on with the final chapter!

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423: Parallel Realities – Chapter Forty-Seven

Title: Parallel Realities
Author: InHarmsWay
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL:  Parallel Realities: Chapter 47
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello once again, patrons, and welcome back to Parallel Realities. Well, we’ve got two chapters left to snark at in this damn thing, so I think we’re good to get going on it right away.

And it’s just as well, too. Remember that reveal I mentioned way back when I did the ME1 arc? Remember the plot twist that Taco had to redact from erttheking’s snarking of From Another World Parallel Realities: The Slightly Improved Rip-Off? Well, you’ll finally see that reveal, and trust me, if your brain is not melting from the severe stupid contained within just that reveal alone, I’ll be very afraid for your sanity.

So let’s not waste any more time. Trust me, I want to be done with this piece of crap as much as you guys. Let’s get going, patrons.

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418: Parallel Realities – Chapter Forty-Six

Title: Parallel Realities
Author: InHarmsWay
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL:  Parallel Realities: Chapter 46
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello once again, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to Parallel Realities. Now… for this installment, I actually managed to get an old friend of mine in on this. I think the only way I could feasibly survive this is if I got someone else to help me look at this chapter.

So… to help us out here, I actually managed to get a pretty significant person in ME lore who just escaped this whole involved rigmarole. I have no idea how, but apparently she was set free earlier. What the hell knew, you know?

So ladies and gentlemen, I bring you…

Kasumi Goto!

*Applause sign flashes*

Kasumi, wonderful of you to join us!

KG: I’m just glad to be out of there. Trust me, you’ve got no idea what it’s like having to suck up to that man.

Oh, I’m pretty sure I have a good idea, Kasumi. What made you come over here anyway?

KG: Well, since this chapter involves Tali…

Yeah, you and her are often considered BFFs in the fanon, aren’t ya?

KG: It’s too bad you never saw those parts in what I just got out of. Those were some… interesting conversations we had.

I guess it’s because she couldn’t shut up about Stupard.

KG: *nods* Yeah, that’s about it.

I thought as much. Anyway, we’ve got a lot of material to tackle here, so let’s get going with it.

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413: Parallel Realities – Chapter Forty-Five

Title: Parallel Realities
Author: InHarmsWay
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL:  Parallel Realities: Chapter 45
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello again, patrons, and welcome to yet another installment of Parallel Realities. Well, on the minus side, we have a chapter today that likely is also logic busting. But this particular chapter also comes with some form of good news.

With this chapter, we’re four chapters away from ending this piece of crap. So we’re getting close to the end with this piece of ass. And to that I say: thank God. I’m beginning to get tired of this whole involved rigmarole, I really kind of am.

But whatever. The more I ramble on, the more time I waste. So let’s get to it, shall we?

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