344: A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode I: Rise of the Sith Chapter Eleven, Part Two

Title: A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode I: Rise of the Sith
Author: Jedi472
Media: Movie
Topic: Star Wars / Land Before Time
Genre: Sci Fi / Adventure
URL: A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode I: Rise of the Sith – Chapter 11
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Last time on A Jedi’s Destiny we watched our brave villians call in a 14-year old posing as Boba Fett to take out Markus.  I suppose we’re supposed to be rooting for Markus here, but I chose not to.  I’d root for Fett, but he isn’t actually in this fic, and there’s no way I’m rooting for the douche-cycle that’s playing him in this fic.  Instead I guess I’ll just hope that they kill each other or something.  Also, that chunk of plot took the author about 4000 words to say.

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341: A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode I: Rise of the Sith Chapter Eleven Part One

Title: A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode I: Rise of the Sith
Author: Jedi472
Media: Movie
Topic: Star Wars / Land Before Time
Genre: Sci Fi / Adventure
URL: A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode I: Rise of the Sith – Chapter 11
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome to another installment of Jedi’s Destiny, wherein a colossal Gary Stu named Markus has the entire dinosaur population of The Land Before Time fawning all over him like fangirls on Sephiroth; not counting all the “evil” dinosaurs, of course.  That’s pretty much the entire sum-up of the fic to this point.  I’m sure there were some minor plot points in there too, but it’s mostly about the author-insertion being awesome and having everyone love him.

Honestly, the scenes with Malak plotting to kill the dude who brought him back from the dead are more interesting.  Too bad they account for less than 5% of the fic thus far.

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338: A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode I: Rise of the Sith – Chapter Ten, Part Two

Title: A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode I: Rise of the Sith
Author: Jedi472
Media: Movie
Topic: Star Wars / Land Before Time
Genre: Sci Fi / Adventure
URL: A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode I: Rise of the Sith – Chapter 10
Critiqued by TacoMagic

In the first half of chapter 10, we began to see the beginnings of what I’d like to call an author-insertion ego-implosion.  At this point in the fic, the character has gotten so loved and so full of himself that that audience begins to actively desire his downfall.  This is slightly different from the normal hatred one feels for a Mary Sue/Gary Stu character.  Generally one has a “this character is worthless, I wish something bad would happen to them” feeling for the Sue character.   Markus has taken things to a whole deeper level of character hatred than I think I’ve ever experienced… short of Gabriel Hawke.

I am beyond just wanting the Empire to win by defeating Markus, I want them to utterly destroy everyone in his camp.  The disease that is Markus worship has spread too far and too deep into the dinosaur population for them to be saved.  A Deathstar blowing the Land Before Time world into cosmic dust can be the only cure to their sickness.  Mutant T-Rexes with cybernetic implants storming the valley and consuming the residents in an orgy of gore would be a mercy.  But, more than anything else, I want to kick Markus in the groin repeatedly until he agrees to stop talking about how awesome he is every three paragraphs.

It’s really unfathomable to me that Jedi472 thought he was painting his insertion as likable.  Such mind-numbing and zealous devotion to a character is a kind of ignominy that would have me changing my name and moving to another state.  Luckily for our author, the anonymous nature of the internet will protect him from the kind of public disgrace he would otherwise be subject to as a published author.

*Takes many deep breaths*

Anyway, on with chapter 10!

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