2726: Bella’s Lost World – Chapter 6

 

Title: Bella’s Lost World
Author: Godric’sGirlForever
Media: Movie
Topic: Twilight/Jurassic Park/World
Genre: Adventure/Drama
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Welcome back, darling Patrons!

In the last chapter, our hapless idiots arrived on the island and we swiftly moved into what was mostly plot regurgitation that ended on an alleged cliffhanger. If the pattern holds true, Bella will probably end up in a hollow log while the adult stegosaurs try to puncture her with their thagomizers.

Sorry guys but it will be hard for me to get chapters in on weekdays because of school. But i promise to get at least 2 chapters in each weekend to make up for it k.

I don’t really want to drag out the same dead horse, but there is this thing called ‘time management’ that exists. Something like school should rank higher than a fanfic, but if you want to accomplish something you can make it work. Of course, considering the rushed appearance of the past chapters and the recent reliance on plot regurgitation, I assume it wouldn’t really take very long to write chapters like these.

 Well you should thank 1xclatoforeverx1, decadanceofmysoul, and Samantha for saying some sweet things in their reviews encouraged me to make a BIG chapter hope you like

This chapter is a few hundred words longer than the last, so now you know whose name to curse for that.

disclaimer I don’t own Jurassic Park or Twilight. and guys i’m going to to try to make the sound of the dinos to the best of my ability. so don’t laugh so enjoy

… Sweet mercy, this is going to be painful.

Oh no. Urrahh i heard

Do the stegosaurs speak English?!?

and jumped up and saw 3 stegs coming our way. as i started running back towards Ian i saw one coming my way and right when he pulled his tail back i jumped down. When I looked around for a place to run I saw Sarah in a fallen tree. so i started running for the woods to hide behind a tree.

It looks like I was right about the hollow tree, but I have no idea what the stegosaurs are doing. I think one of them may have dislocated their tail.

“BELLA, SARAH!” I heard Ian yell then I heard stomping getting closer to me so I turned to see one of the stags right behind the tree so I looked up and saw a limp.

She saw a what now?

This fic is an excellent example of why you need to edit both for content as well as for grammar and spelling mistakes rather than just skimming through looking for the red squiggles.

I’m probably going to fall or something.

So you think you might fall, or do something else that isn’t falling but could be literally anything else?

Yeah, I would say that’s a possibility.

I reached up as fast as i could and grabbed myself and pulled myself up.

She grabbed herself and then pulled herself up? Bwa?

Once i was at least 4 limbs high i looked down to see the stag right under me.

I think one deer would be less of a threat than the three multi-ton dinosaurs currently pursuing you.

“BELLA, BELLA.” I heard Ian yell again. finally the stag left. When i looked around to make sure that there wasn’t anymore.

There weren’t, was there?

“Bella WHERE ARE YOU PLEASE. please be alright.” I heard Ian sob.

This how emotion do, yes?

so i decided to get down from the tree.

Naw, just take you time. Maybe get a magazine and some snacks while you’re up there.

as I was putting my foot down below me i think thats the branch so i sat my food down on it then SNAP and then the next thing i knew i was on my butt.

…Did she really gets some snacks while she was up in a tree?

OW that hurt the rum.

:distant gasp:

“NOT THE RUM!”

Syl is very protective of her liquor; the stuff that’s actual liquor, rather than cleaning supplies.

I started to get up when i was enveloped into a giant hug “Thank God. I thought i lost you on the first day. Don’t do that again. I thought i was a goner.” he said what did he mean by goner

“What do you mean by goner?” I decided to ask him. and he chuckled

I would assume he’s worried about Edward finding out that Bella managed to get herself killed by simply falling out of a tree while on a super-dangerous island full of murder-lizards and would be very upset that she didn’t die in a much cooler fashion and thus he would write Malcolm a strongly worded letter of protest.

“Don’t think that i didn’t notice that when your boyfriend threatened me i could see that he meant what he said.” he said while wincing. I laughed I guess anyone with sense would take him seriously.

I don’t really see why, unless they were worried about getting glitter on them. That stuff is harder to get rid of than an unwelcome guest.

“I heard that!”

YOU WERE MEANT TO!

“Oh thank god you’re alright. When i came out of the tree i saw you going into the woods.” Sarah said with concern on her face as she, Nick, and Eddie came over to us. I was enveloved into 3 different hugs after Ian. “What did you do to get away from them” she asked me.

A what kind of hug? And why are they having a touching reunion where there are probably rampaging stegosaurs still after them?

“I climbed the tree.” i said then i heard laughing i turned to see Ian so i gave him a glare.

Take two; they’re small. We also have a very large stock of smirks – we’re overrun with them.

“How in the world did you do that? You are the most clumsiest person i know. i’m surprised you didn’t fall on the Stag’s back.” He asked me while laughing.

Yes, potentially injuring yourself is hilarious.

“i just made sure that i had a firm grip until i came down from the tree.” I said looking down.

Ian saw this and said

“Let me guess you fell out of the tree.”

Of course she fell out of the tree. Did he think she jumped?

“Yes Ian I fell out of the tree happy.” I snapped at Ian. “Come on guess we better get going they might come back.

I assume the stegosaurs would go back to the nest rather than to this random tree, but they might decide to abandon the nest if they feel the humans are a threat to the baby.

From what i can guess with my previous guessing

:blinks:

I genuinely have no words.

this is their nest so they will come back when they think we’re gone. and I want to be gone by that time.” I told them.

Sure you don’t want to hang around, maybe rub your scent all over the baby to make sure its parents really reject it?

“Bella how do you know so much about dinos?” she asked me.

What about Bella’s recent behavior would make anyone think she knows anything about dinosaurs? Or animals in general? What she did, touching a baby in its nest, goes against every rational thought someone with experience with animals should have. Baby animals are adorable, but a baby out in the wild means there is a parent – probably a very pissed off and territorial parent – nearby that will not hesitate to wreck your shit.

with curiosity shining in her eyes. then i thought curiosity killed the cat. Wait most likely the Raptors killed the cat.

I’m fairly certain that ‘Raptors’ is the name of a sportsball team. Did a bunch of over-priced athletes bring a cat to the island full of murder-lizards, kill it, extract its curiosity, and then implant that curiosity into Sarah’s eyes? Because that sounds like an unnecessarily complex plan.

“Didn’t Ian tell you?” I asked her she shook her head.

“I thought that that was your secret to tell not mine cuz I know you don’t like a lot of people knowing” Ian told me I nodded towards him grateful that he respected that.

So not only is Bella a world class expert in dinosaurs, because reasons, but she’s a secret world class expert on dinosaurs.

“Well did Ian tell you about the other island that he was on.” SheE nodded. “Did he menten 3 kids there on the island.” she nodded again then gasped. “Yep I’m one of those kids. Even though i nearly died i can’t bring myself to hate all dinos. like stags they’re ok when they’re not trying to stomp us in the dirt.” i said and she laughed.

That’s the entire basis for her being an ‘expert’ on dinosaurs? Because she was on the island when the shit went down? That doesn’t make any kind of sense. I was hoping that maybe she decided to study up on the creatures after the incident, but no – she survived, therefore she is an expert. That’s like saying that because I was attacked by a flock of geese when I was a child I am a world class expert on the hellspawn.

Hell, by that same token Malcolm is as much an ‘expert’ as Bella is. He was there and he survived, so he should also be as much of an expert as Bella despite the fact he spent most of his time in a beefcake pose on a table with his shirt open. By the fic’s own logic, there’s no reason for Bella to be there.

“You have a good heart even though they’ve put you through so much you still care for them. You even Petted that baby stag. Which i’m surprised.” She said

I’m surprised as well, mostly because that is such a stupid, stupid thing to do. It only exists in the movie to give the filmmakers an excuse to have the stegosaurs attack in a cinematic way.

“Ok let’s go.” after about 10 minutes later

VERY SMALL OFFERING TO THE MOON SPIDERS!

me, Sarah, and Ian were behind Nick and Eddie. I could see Nick from here and i saw him getting out a cigarette. “Nick, put that cigarette out immediately the smoke from the nickatina could hurt the dinos or draw them to us.” I yelled.

…Is Bella seriously worried about the effect secondhand smoke could potentially have on the dinosaurs? They’re out in a jungle!

This is (mostly) dialogue taken from Sarah in the film, but she only mentions the smoke; most animals have very strong reactions triggered by the smell of smoke so if they are trying to observe the dinosaurs then they would want to limit anything that could alert the animals in any way. This is intensely hypocritical considering she just had her hands all over a baby wild animal.

While we were walking i could hear Ian and Sarah arguing about how she wants to document the dinos and prove to the world that T. Rexes have good parenting instincts. I knew for a FACT that have some good parenting instincts.

How exactly would Bella know anything about baby tyrannosaurs? There were no infant t. rexes at the original park; in fact, there was only one adult so there was no way there could be any babies.

after about 3 minutes we were at camp.

YET ANOTHER TINY OFFERING FOR THE MOON SPIDERS!

When we got there Ian went into the camper and came out with a case that was camo colored. I decided to get on the hood of a car and just layed back to relax.

Dude, don’t do that. It deforms the material and ruins the hood. Those are custom Mercedes M-Classes, not Jim-Bob’s old Dodge Ram down by the lake.

Ian came down to the car and put the case by my feet and opened it. when he opened it looked like a satellite phone. “Come on Why don’t these things work.” I looked at him.

“What are you doing?”

He’s got a craving for pizza; what the hell do you THINK he’s doing with a phone? He found the person he was sent to find, so the job is done.

“Trying to get a signal to get us home.” then i thought do i really want to go back?

YES!

Maybe i could stay a little while and document some more of the dinos.

Dumbass.

I kinda want to find out more about these dinos that i didn’t get to see the last time.

I assume ‘find out more about’ is a euphemism for ‘get chased by’.

and with Sarah, Nick, and Eddie i will be safe so i’ve decided I’m going to stay on the island a little more.

Recent events would argue otherwise, but I guess the plot regurgitation demands it.

“Eddie is there any possibility that the satellite phone in the trailer will work?” he asked Eddie in a upset manner.

No, it’s just decorative.

“Yeah if you have the knowledge to just, switch the switch from off to on.” he replied in the same tone.

Thus implying that Eddie thinks Malcolm is too stupid to understand how to operate a power switch, but is still content to let him be in charge of this little group of adventurers.

then i felt Ian grab my by my lower arm pulling me towards the trailer.

He would have to pull her off the car hood to do that, which will probably result in her dislocating her shoulder or something equally stupid.

“Ian, what’s wrong? Why are you so mad?” i asked worried he will blow a fuse in his brain.

I have no idea why he’s manhandling Bella, but I assume it is because Malcolm did something similar with Kelly in the original. He was kind of mad at her, but also terrified because his young daughter was on an island full of murder-lizards and he was understandably worried about her safety.

“No, I just want to get off this island as fast as possible.” He said as we went into the trailer. “Eddie Eddie there is about a hundred switches.”

It’s a mobile lab; there’s probably lots equipment in there with all sorts of switches, buttons, and dials. Maybe you should look for the sat phone first, then look at its switches.

“Ian don’t be mad i was going to call you in a day or two i always do don’t I” Sarah told Ian

Girl, who do you think you’re fooling? You were out of contact for a full month before anyone bothered telling Malcolm. Not only does that make you a bad girlfriend, but it also makes him a bad boyfriend. You are both just terrible at this relationship.

and i just watched as i looked around the trailer then.

Are we going to get a description of something?

I heard some rumbling sounds like machinery.

I guess that’s a ‘No’.

So I got up “Hey do you guys here that?” as we went out Ian took my hand and said

“I’m going to flag one of these right now.”

Flag down what? A random machine noise? You hitching a ride on my washer and dryer?

“It says ingen on the side of that chopper.” Eddie yelled at us over the sound

Oh, it’s a helicopter.

(sorry i don’t know to spell what it said on the side of the chopper)

:headdesk:

Honey, I know you have internet access; you would need it to post to ff.net. If you don’t know something, then take two seconds to Google it. There’s a frickin’ wiki for the entire franchise, including the LEGO versions, and it is insanely comprehensive.

This was the very first result; it even had the make and model. (Boeing Vertol 234)

then something clicked doesn’t Hampton support them?

I have no idea, but then again I have no idea who Hampton is. John Hammond is the one who sent them to the island.

“Doesn’t he trust us we haven’t even started.” Sarah said as me and Ian ran over to Eddie to look through the binoculars. as he looked recognition hit him.

They only brought one pair of binoculars? Man, they did not plan well for this trip.

“It isn’t John it’s his niece.

Who was helpfully hanging out of the side of the helicopter so they could easily identify her.

In the original it is Hammond’s nephew, not niece, but I assume this is going to be Victoria or Jane from the Volturi. They tend to pop up quite frequently as villains.

I don’t know what he is doing though.”

Is ‘he’ referring to Hammond or is this pronoun a bit of plot regurgitation that didn’t get gender-flipped?

So i thought why not follow in the direction they’re going

It’s an island, and not a very big island. How hard can it be to find something that noisy? There can’t be all that many places where a helicopter can land – and even fewer where more than one could land. If there are any support vessels, then that limits the number even more.

“Why don’t we go in the direction that they’re going to see what they’re doing.”

Sure, follow the amorphous blob and assorted helicopter in some unknown direction. That sounds like a wonderful idea. Maybe you should pack a picnic lunch and make a day of it.

They all nodded towards me.

Once again we see a group falling prey to the Sue Force and agreeing to do whatever the Sue wants, despite them having no authority in this situation. Even if Bella is some sort of dinosaur expert, helicopters are not dinosaurs so her knowledge is useless.

after about an hour walk we came across a game trail where i saw the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen some pretty sad things.

Was she watching one of those YouTube videos on her sat-phone where they rescue a cat or dog in appalling condition and slowly nurse it back to some semblance of health? Because those will make me cry like a little bitch-baby every damn time.

The last bit is in both boldface and italics, which could just be for emphasis. However, the author has a habit of writing their Author’s Notes in boldface – and of course there’s an Author’s Note after this – so I don’t know if the accidentally bolded this bit or it was intentionally done. Could go either way, really.

Well guys thank you i hope you liked the chapter i will try to get another one in tomorrow or the next day before school again on Monday. Please remember that on Weekdays i will rarely update maybe one day i will cuz i have time but i will try my best to make it up with 2 chapter on the weekends cuz i’m only 13. Remember the more Reviews I get the longer the next chapter is if i get 4 review before Sunday i will make a 4 page chapter. So PLEASE REVIEW it makes me happy when you do. SO thank you*

This information regarding the author’s writing and posting schedules really belongs on the author’s bio page rather than tacked onto the chapters, because those are both things that are quite fluid and can change over time. This fic was written five years ago, which makes all of this completely irrelevant because someone reading it now would never know if there had been any gaps in time between chapters. I do give the author some points for being so young and tackling such an ambitious project, however their youth doesn’t excuse all of the errors they have made. I don’t expect a kid to use beautifully crafted Dickensian English, but at the very least they should have a grasp of basic sentence structure if they are planning on publishing their work for review.

 

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